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Dr. Zero · (03-17-2014)

"Preposterous!" Dr. Zero shouted to his most loyal cohort, the insidious Nurse X. "You mean to tell me that they know I have lost my greatest weapon, that President Obama is attempting to make me pay for healthcare to my Minions, AND that I have to prepare for WAR and they choose NOW to attempt a rebellion!? I have done GREAT THINGS for the denizens of Parts Unknown! Great things, I say!"

"Uh nuh. Uht uth vuruh uhsuhttung. Puhhups uh cuh shuh thum huh nusssss uh cuhn buh," advised Nurse X, very eloquently.

"Absolutely not, Nurse X! It is quite upsetting, you are correct in that assessment, but I have shown them too many niceties to be treated in such a manner. The Overlord of Parts Unknown will not stand for it! No, ma'am! Not at all."

"Huh wuh uh stuhp thuhm suhtuhn dun?" Nurse X asked.

"It was a figure of speech! I shall not be sitting down either! No. It is time these plebeians learns what happens when they attempt to gain freedom *ptooey*"

Dr. Zero gathered a large group of his Minions and marched to the front door of his Headquarters. A mass of people and creatures sounded louder and louder the nearer they got to the entrance. The giant 'Z' branded doors swung open and Dr. Zero stepped out onto a large balcony.

"GREETINGS, MY LOYAGAH!"

A rock had been sent flying through the air and collided with the side of Dr. Zero's feathered head.

"CURSES!" cursed Dr. Zero. "INITIATE ORDER 67!"

The Minions immediately flanked Dr. Zero and began to stand atop one another's shoulders. There were two massive columns on both sides of the fiendish doctor and they appeared to be scaling them.

Once the pillars of Minions were as tall as the columns, they began to tinker with hidden buttons at the top. The entire front balcony began to rumble, and the angry crowd backed up, now with fear in their eyes.

The columns leaned forward and pink slime began to pour out of them and onto the crowd.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Dr. Zero.

Suddenly, a blur of neon colors toppled both of his Minion pillars and used several of their bodies to stuff the columns.

"What in blazes!?" exclaimed our villain.

The blur zipped toward him and stopped right in his face. "Not today, my fiendish foe! For it is I, The Ultimate Trooper!"
[Image: ultimatewarrior.jpg]

"NOT TODAY, TROOPER!" Dr. Zero shouted just before stomping the Trooper's toe and quickly retreating into his Headquarters.

"JEEZUS!" shouted The Ultimate Trooper before turning to the crowd. "Have no fear, Little Troopers and do not despair! This is the day that you, the great people, mutants, robots, and…other things are set free. This is the day you become a free people!"

The Ultimate Trooper begins to shake violently as the crowd roars their approval.

He runs up to the massive metal doors and begins to beat them until one eventually falls over. He's met with two giant robotic guards. He clotheslines one of them and lifts the other over his head, spinning him and tossing it into the crowd where it crushes 2 witchdoctors and a rhino-man before being torn to pieces by the others.

As The Ultimate Trooper mows down Minion after Minion and monster after monster in search of Dr. Zero, Dr. Zero is frantically running to the one room he swore he'd never open…

The door he knew that once opened could spell certain doom for all of creation…

The Genesis Room.

Just as he reached the door, The Ultimate Trooper caught up with him.

"This is the end of the line, fiend!" he said.

"Not a step closer, plebeian! I do not wish to open this door, but if you leave me no choice, I cannot be held responsible for what befalls the entirety of everything."

Suddenly, Nurse X leapt onto The Ultimate Trooper's back and clawed at his eyes.

"YEEEEEOWWWW! THAT SMARTS!" he shouted before tossing her to the side, where she fainted. Women, right?

"THAT TEARS IT!" shouted Dr. Zero. He opened the door.

Green smoke filled the Headquarters and began to billow outside. Everyone within a 100 mile radius began to weep tears of blood. A sound began to grow from a whisper into an eventual, near deafening sound.

"su…su…su…su…SU…SU…SU…SU…SUDIOOOOOOOOO!"

Egads! Dr. Zero has shown himself to be even more dastardly than any of us could have ever dreamed! He has been growing an army of Phill Collinses! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

The lead Phil Collins darts forth, grabbing The Ultimate Trooper and placing him in a vicious headlock.
[Image: The_Ultimate_Warrior_-_James_Hellwig_74.jpg]

[Image: The_Ultimate_Warrior_-_James_Hellwig_74.jpg]

He squeezes until the Trooper's head pops off in a gory display! Dr. Zero lifts it up by the hair and marches toward the door as thousands of other Phil Collinses rush outside and began to do the same to the crowd.

Dr. Zero steps onto the balcony and holds The Ultimate Trooper's head up high.

"PHILL COLLINSES, CEASE YOUR ACTIVITY! PEOPLE OF PARTS UNKNOWN, BOW TO ME!"

The terrified, sobbing masses do as they're told.

"It looks like FREEDOM is not IN THE AIR TONIGHT! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THIS IS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN, SUBJECTS! AND THESE ARE THE HANDS THAT YOU ARE GIVEN! USE THEM AND LET US START TRYING TO MAKE THIS A PLACE WHERE YOU APPRECIATE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Starting tomorrow, a curfew is in effect for ALL citizens of Parts Unknown for 4:00 pm. Anyone caught out past that will be subjected to Phil Collins' entire discography with no breaks. If anyone attempts to break the curfew…if ANYONE disobeys me…I shall unleash THE PETER GABRIELS AS WELL! DO NOT TEST ME! YOU KNOW THAT I, YOUR GRACIOUS OVERLORD DO NOT LIE! NOW LEAVE MY SITE YOU UNGRATEFUL VERMIN!"

What a dick. Seriously.

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