Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Scorpio · (03-12-2014)

We pick up where Scorpio's last promo left off, Nova and Scorpio are in Scorpio's living room with Scorpio slowly pulling the towel from around Nova's freshly showered waist. The light reflects off the water covering Nova's nude body as Scorpio tosses the towel in the floor, wraps his arms around Nova, and begins to sensually kiss him on the neck. As Nova begins to breath heavily Scorpio stops and moves his mouth right beside Nova's ear.

Scorpio: You taste like snicker-doodles brah.

Nova licks his lips.

Nova: Take me my little zucchini muffin.

Scorpio now drops his pants, embraces Nova, and starts rubbing their dicks together. Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, WHOA! That definitely is not where Scorpio's last promo left off and that is definitely not what's happening now. You little bastards these days and your overactive imaginations.

[Image: yPf59ZL.gif]

No shit! Anyway what's actually happening is that Scorpio is slowly pulling the towel off of a large object that Nova placed on his living room table. He finally pulls the towel all the way off and just looks at what is sitting on the table for a moment, it's a large plastic pet carrier.

Scorpio: Brah, the fuck is this?

Nova: Just look inside of it already.

Scorpio: Fine.....

Scorpio kneels down and peers into the pet carrier.

CLANG!

CLANG!

CLANG!

Something slams up against the metal door of the pet carrier repeatedly and a shocked Scorpio ends up on his ass before quickly climbing to his feet with a confused look on his face.

Scorpio: Brah, it's a.... It's a.....

Nova: Giant space scorpion.

Scorpio: You've got that right, that thing is huge!

Nova: Odd, I feel like we've had this conversation before except it was the other way around and we weren't talking about scorpions.

Scorpio: Have you ever thought of legally changing your name to whore? I mean it just fits.

Nova: We won't know if it fits until we try it.

Scorpio: God damn it, every time.

Nova: So are you going to play with your present or not?

Scorpio: Sure let me just grab an unknown poodle sized space scorpion and play with it, how could that end badly? A larger scorpion couldn't possibly mean more venom and a gruesome death if it stings me. Not to mention... IT'S FROM GOD DAMN SPACE!

Nova: Oh quit your bitching, here.

Nova hands Scorpio a small controller that only has one button on it.

Scorpio: Mkay, and this is?

Nova: It controls his shock collar, if he gets out of hand just zap him a bit but he should be just fine. The long trip should have taken some of the fight out of him.

Scorpio: Exactly how far did you go to get this thing?

Nova: They reside on a planet not yet discovered by the human race and since I don't want to give anything away let's just say that it was really, really, really, far away. So you better enjoy this present and even if you don't, act like you do because it's the thought that counts!

Scorpio shakes his head as Nova opens the door to the pet carrier and a giant purple scorpion comes flying out of the pet carrier, scurries across the couch, climbs up the wall, and starts crawling across the ceiling. Then as if things couldn't get any weirder, well....

Space Scorpion: Free at last! I will now enslave you all in the name of planet Zeplar!

Scorpio: IT CAN FUCKING TALK!?!?!?

Nova: Well yeah, he wouldn't be such an awesome gift if he couldn't right?

Space Scorpion: I can talk? I CAN TALK! Of course I can god damn talk! That's rich coming from a life form not far removed from a lowly ape.

Scorpio: You know what, BAD SCORPION!

Scorpio presses the button on the controller.

BZZZZT!

Space Scorpion: AHHHHHHHHHH!

The space scorpion falls from the ceiling and lands on the floor convulsing until Scorpio finally takes his finger off of the button.

Nova: See how easy it is to get him back in line?

Scorpio quickly presses the button repeatedly.

BZT!

BZT!

BZT!

BZT!

BZT!

Space Scorpion:KNOCK IT OFF!!!

BZT!

BZT!

Nova: SCORPIO!

Nova sees by the look on his face that Scorpio has completely checked out and quickly grabs the controller from him. Scorpio then looks at Nova like he just shot his dog.... and raped it.

Scorpio: What's the deal brah?

Nova: Where exactly did you go just now?

Scorpio: Huh?

Nova points to the Space Scorpion who is curled up in a ball muttering something.

Space Scorpion: No more mommy, I'm a good boy, a good good boy, NO MOMMY, NO!

Scorpio: Oh...OH! My bad brah, you ever have a pen in your hand then start thinking about something and while you're thinking you keep clicking it but don't notice until everybody around you wants to kill you?

Nova: Yes but I think this is a tad bit different since you were basically frying the present that I just gave you.

Scorpio: Well if you look on the bright side he isn't acting up anymore.

Nova: Yeah, mostly because he's emotionally broken now.

Space Scorpion: It will take a whole lot more than a little electricity to break General Giglatious you space queen!

Scorpio: General Giglatious huh? I'll just just call you Giggles for short.

Giglatious: THE HELL YOU WILL!

BZT!

Nova presses the button as he glares at Giggles.

Nova: You're going to learn to say your name, let me hear you say it!

Giglatious: GIGLATIOUS!

BZT!

Nova: When your master gives you something you take it, he gave you a name, it's a nice name. Now let me here you say it!

Giglatious: GIGLATIOUS!

BZT!

Scorpio: Uh Nova?

BZT!

BZT!

BZT!

Nova: Say your name bitch!

Giglatious: GIG...

BZT!

Giglatious: GIGGLES.... GIGGLES!

Scorpio now grabs the controller from Nova.

Scorpio: Holy shit brah I can't believe you just went Roots on me!

Nova: Went what?

Scorpio: Roots, you know Kunta Kinte, Toby?

Nova: What the hell are you talking about?

Scorpio: Mkay then, moving on.... So what exactly does a space scorpion eat, bugs?

Giggles: What sort of savage do you think I am exactly! Giglat....

Giggles sees Scorpio about to press the button and stops himself.

Giggles: Giggles, Giggles, GIGGLES! Giggles only partakes in the finest bangore steaks as he snorts migrone and tames the finest strange.

Nova: That sounds amazing, especially that taming strange part.

Scorpio: Slut.

Nova: Like you weren't thinking the same damn thing!

Scorpio: This isn't about me brah but even though I didn't understand a god damn word of that other than taming fine strange, yes I have to say that it all sounded pretty fucking awesome. Not as awesome as a Wendy's Triple Stack but awesome none the less.

Nova: Here we go....

Giggles: What is this Triple Stack you speak of human?

A big grin creeps across Scorpio's face.

Scorpio: I knew you'd ask that question.

Scorpio reaches into his pocket, pulls out a Triple Stack then unwraps it and places it down in front of Giggles. The space scorpion walks around the burger looking at it quizzically, he pokes it with his claws before finally picking it up and taking a bite.

Giggles: This... This "Triple Stack" IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER INGESTED!

Nova: Oh come on, don't encourage his Wendy's madness.

Giggles: It cannot be helped space queen, the sparkly one knows his nom noms!

Nova buries his face in his hand for a moment then looks up at Scorpio with an eyebrow raised like he just thought of something.

Nova: So you just keep a Triple Stack in your jacket pocket at all times?

Scorpio pulls another Triple Stack out of his other pocket.

Scorpio: One in each pocket to be exact.

Nova: You've got a problem.

Scorpio hangs his head in shame as he bites into the Triple Stack.

Scorpio: I know, not enough pockets.

Nova: Hey Scorp, you never told me, what do you think of the present.

Scorpio: Brah, you got me a giant mother fucking space scorpion THAT TALKS! Of course I like it, the only thing better would have been if you brought me a harem of hot alien chicks.

Nova: Shit... I knew it! I had thirty hot alien women ready to go but then I decided to give him to you instead.

Scorpio: Really?

Nova: No, not really you dildo, it was only ten hot alien women.

Scorpio's jaw drops.

Scorpio: I hate you so much right now.

Nova: No you don't, we're stable mates, and more importantly than that I'll be watching your ass in the WWX match since we're both going in during round two.

Scorpio: Why do I get the feeling that you're always watching my ass even when I don't know it?

Nova: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Scorpio: I bet, but when it comes down to it there isn't anybody on our team I'd rather have watching my ass than you.

Giggles: Get a room homos.

BZT!

Giggles: Sorry, sorry, give that damn thing a rest would you? You're going to fry my brain!

Scorpio: Anyway, where were we?

Nova: You were whispering sweet nothings into my ear or we were talking about WWX, I'm not quite sure which.

Scorpio: I'm pretty sure we were talking about WWX.

Nova: Okay, you got me. What do you think about our chances by the way?

Scorpio: If Radio wins and it's five on two I fucking love our chances.

Nova: What if Radio loses and we're the ones at a two on five disadvantage?

Scorpio: I FUCKING LOVE OUR CHANCES! How could I not? Eli chose Alexandra Callaway, Mandii, Morbid Angel, Ann Thraxx, and whoever the mystery guy is.

Nova: My thoughts exactly Scorp, my thoughts exactly.

Giggles: Once again, YOU HOMOS GET A ROOM!

BZT!

With that we fade to space scorpion convulsions.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode He Gives Scorpio A Present It's Not A Blowie (#2)
Author	Message