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~~Sid Feder~~ · (02-13-2014)

Sid sits on a large rock on a beach on a beautiful sunny day in Perfection, AnywherebutintheUSA.

He gazes out onto the waters as the waves rush in and cover his bare feet.

Ahhh, that cool and revitalizing feel. Some people will tell you that the washing of one's feet with water unharnessed by man -- meaning a natural event such as these waves occurring -- can bring a new beginning to an otherwise closing journey. That makes me think of Peter Gilmour; the man who I understand was a good friend of mine in a past life. I've looked at the tapes of my younger, more energetic, blonde years and I noticed Peter Gilmour was a big part of that.

Now here we are in 2014 and we both look very different than those days; like we're completely new people with a new set of opportunities ahead of us.

There's just one big problem with all of that -- It seems like the new Peter is still drowning in the old, stagnant waters of his last bath.

Sid gets up and starts walking toward the water as he speaks.

Where is that revitalized feeling? Where is that renewed vigor? Where the FUCK is the Peter Gilmour that beats the living fucking shit out of a fucking ass fuck like McBride and leaves him for dead? Laughing- Am I cursing enough to get through to you and remind you of the old me, Peter? I'm still Sid -- I'm still your friend; 'fact I'd venture to say I'm a friend of every man, woman and child that sets foot in any XWF arena, worldwide. That smile, oh that smile- And as your friend, Peter, I'm telling you it's time to cleanse yourself. It's time to wash away those past sins that are holding ya back, son.

Peter, take a hallowed out aluminum baseball bat and use a tool to cut off the very tip. Be careful though because I don't want you losing an arm or a hand. Once you get that tip off the bat, you fill it up with wet cement, ya hear? You make sure it's packed down all the way as far as it'll go as the bat narrows; ya might need to use some kinda stick to jam it down or something when you pour the first few blots. Once you're sure the cement is all packed in there, you let it dry and you bring it to the next show McBride is going to be at. Sneak up on his oblivious ass with ease and literally crack his skull with that cement filled murder weapon. If you grab a steel pipe that's hallow, like from a fence or something, and you fill that with cement you can accomplish pretty much the same thing but I personally prefer the feel and maneuverability of the baseball bat shape; it's just a much better grip for doing those big, head popping swings.

Sid is now knee deep in water as the waves seem to pick up and get stronger. Sid reaches down and begins to wash off his hands in the water.

Now Peter, when you go and do this, I'm going to need you to leave McBride within an inch of his life but not quite dead. If he's dead, he doesn't get to suffer. This will be the same as washing your feet and starting on your way with a fresh step; no weights holding you back and all past sins atoned for. Give us a new Peter Gilmour so I don't have to put ya down myself just like I had to do with my old hound dog a few years back.

Sid smiles- Cripple McBride and then disregard him, forgetting he exists. Bathe, Peter.. bathe like your very life depends on it. Shed the filth of your past so I don't have to put an ice pick through your temple just to save you.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-13-2014, 10:26 AM**

Sid, my dear friend you have my word that I will deliver the bloody heap of crap that is Mikey Mcbride to you this Tuesday night!

I'll see you on Madness. We have things to discuss

Scorpio · (02-13-2014)

Peter, why not do that to Theo instead since he's your next opponent?

Oh right, because it wouldn't improve your chances of winning any.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-13-2014, 12:00 PM**

oh maddy ill save a piece of theo's ass for u to kiss after Im done with him.. ;)

Smoke · (02-13-2014)

You just said that you're gonna kiss Theo's ass and then save a piece of me after you're done.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-13-2014, 12:25 PM**

uh read that again

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-13-2014, 12:56 PM**

I read that he'd save a piece after he properly had sex with Theo. That seemsextra gay. Like the time we had sex, Pete.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-13-2014, 08:42 PM**

dude go fuck yourself

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-13-2014, 08:44 PM**

Can't I just fuck you again, big boy? And I'm referring to you being fat and not your penis. I've seen it, not big.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-13-2014, 08:47 PM**

urs aint any bigger.. ur boyfriend told me ;)

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-13-2014, 08:51 PM**

Ex boyfriend. I've moved on. I'm going to take a cue from Scorpio and start banging Rose Smith. But I'll acknowledge she's a tranny with a 10 incher. But let's take a moment to relish the fact that you admitted that we had sex, and that you were the bottom, and that you even admitted to having a small penis. Not only did you admit to being gay, but you also admitted to being poorly endowed. And asking my ex about our sex life. Wow, just wow.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-13-2014, 08:55 PM**

i never admitted to anything but being a ladies man.. and again with u and these other

thinking rose smith is a man when there is no proof! Rose even went on radio and TV to say she is not a man.. get over it!

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (02-13-2014)

It looks that way. Especially when you said I wasn't any bigger to my claim of you having a small dick. And if I quote you,

Peter F'n Gilmour Said:ur boyfriend told me ;)

There, you said you spoke with my ex about my sex life. Isn't that a little odd? Speaking of odd. Why would Rose have to admit to being a woman unless she was ugly, or looked like a man, or really has a dick? Digging a hole, Peter.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-13-2014, 10:08 PM**

to clear the air u stupid

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-13-2014, 10:14 PM**

Whatever you say, but the point remains that you still don't deny any of my claims, and have admitted to talking about my penis with my ex, and that mine isn't any bigger than yours with the implication mine is tiny.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-13-2014, 11:12 PM**

why dont u admit u suck

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-13-2014, 11:14 PM**

Ok, I admit it. I perform fellatio. Now what?

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-13-2014, 11:25 PM**

now shutup

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (02-14-2014)

Will you admit we had magical sex, and that it meant something? Not to me, I just needed a hole. To be honest you were pretty loose back there, buddy.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-14-2014, 09:11 AM**

no i will not

~~Sid Feder~~ · **02-14-2014, 01:37 PM**

Look at the midget clawing and scratching at the balls of those above him. How's it feel down there, Frodo? How's that shit feel to be staring up at Peter's wrinkled, unwashed scrotum? You'll probably say it feels good I'm guessing but the point is that you'll always be below any and every person who has grown a set of nuts -- John Black, Barney Green and Alleyway Callaway included!

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-14-2014, 01:51 PM**

Aww, look at Sid Fagger. Here he thinks he can throw an insult at me. The trouble is there, buttercup. No one and I mean no one gives a shit about you anymore. You're used up. You're a hasbeen. Congrats, ya found Jesus, still don't care. You cleaned up from your drugs, maybe you still look a fat old man tittied child raping pot dealer. Oh, but you've held more titles than I have, still no one cares. How about you disappear in a week and come back with a new face.

~~Sid Feder~~ · **02-14-2014, 02:26 PM**

Sounds like you are concerned with me placing you on a level much lower than one Peter Gilmour -- because you know my words carry weight and it just got locked in stone as far as everyone else is concerned. Understand, boy, when I label you as something you no longer have the option of being seen as anything else by anyone who matters. Got a problem with that? Too bad you can't do anything about it.

It also sounds like you're going through the residential Rolodex of already bland and overused Sid Feder jokes that only applied to the man people knew as Sid before my time--

And yet you forgot to make fun of Flo??? Oh, come on fellow, you can do a little bit better! Here, let me give you this--

Sid writes down something on a piece of paper and then crumbles it up, tossing it into a trash can.

What you'll find waiting for you when you come home is John Madison's phone number -- the man, the myth, the legend when it comes to making cracks about Flo Feder. If you're going to run through the jokes that don't apply in 2014 and want to bury yourself faster than Theo Pryce in a verbal exchange with anyone above level, why not do it right? The man I once was has to think Flo Feder, somewhere out there, is depressed that you forgot to mention her.

Also, I appreciate you mentioning that I have held more titles than you even though -- again, and I know this is hard for you to grasp -- that's all old news and doesn't really apply to the "me" of today. I mean sure, the me of today could run circles around you on any title scene the XWF offers so you better hope we're never both up for the same title, but my past accolades were when I was a very different man and I almost feel ashamed taking credit for them. Thank you, though.. for reminding me how the "forgotten me" is still that much better than the you of today. You're making a really good case for yourself, you fucking ignorant piece of horse shit. Now go suck Peter Gilmour's dick and brag about it to Rose Smith! Brag about it, bitch! Make straight men feel uncomfortable with their own sexuality by using your deranged ultrafaggot psychology on them. What an amazing schtick you're known for, since we're talking about what each other is known for and all.

Done so soon?

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-14-2014, 03:13 PM**

See, here's the problem there sparkle lord. Yeah, I mentioned things you've done because past feder is the only feder anyone cares about, and by anyone I mean only a small handful of people. Namly Gilmour, and Eli. No one else. You're wasting your time on someone supposedly lower than you. Wasting a lot of time to be honest. It's pretty sad. You're a walking contradiction.

Now, let's address something else, your supposedly new found love of Jebus. It makes you a bitch ass pussy. No, I take that back. You were a bitch when you were here last and ran around flipping out about what people expect of you and how you'll never be the old Feder. But you should try and not be a dick shoved up Gilly's ass. There's a reason he's always getting shat on. Because he's a fucking joke. I was nice and let him win one single match, but let me tell you something he's a worthless stain on my underpants. The kinda stain that comes from having too many dicks in your ass at one time. You're a stain from jizzing too much.

Together you two make half a person, and are the result of a good night partying with me. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go try and get my boyfriend back.

~~Sid Feder~~ · **02-14-2014, 03:26 PM**

(02-14-2014, 03:13 PM)Frodo Smackins Said: I was nice and let him win one single match, but let me tell you something he's a worthless stain on my underpants.

Sid gets to this part and loses his footing, falling backward over something out of sight and then just laying on the ground as some random objects fall on him. He just has this odd smile on his face as he stares up.

He slowly, very slowly mouths the word -- "wow"

A few blinks.

A shaking of the head to clear the confusion before sitting up and just kind of laughing to himself a little.

Did that boy really just say he let Gilmour beat him in a match? Does he realize what that does to his enti-- no, of course he doesn't realize it. Ahhhhhh -- that sigh is so long it would lose to Frodo in a limbo contest -- Amateurs.

He dusts off his hands and just has that half amused, half amazed "wow" look on his face as he limps out of the mess of debris around him.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-14-2014, 03:41 PM**

Yeah, I let Gilmour win. I know how people view me after that, and I know it messed up my records, but I was being nice to him. He needed it. So, yeah that happened. As for my argument? All it does it prove that Gilmour is not better than me, not based on what he's seen. He'll have to face me again to see if he really is. And I'm sure you're less than I am.

~~Sid Feder~~ · **02-14-2014, 04:10 PM**

I meant do you know what it does when a loser tries to say they laid down for somebody that they physically were bested by in front of millions?

Whoa, wait a second.. Wow, I feel the spirit of the original Sid Feder surging through my veins!

Sid stumbles back, holding his head and starting to shake.

Oh my god! I'm receiving a message from a time long thought forgotten! A time of fake ass champions and lying assholes who couldn't take a loss!

Sid starts to shake violently and is thrown up against a wall before his eyes open wide and he stares forward. His voice is suddenly much more raspy than it's been and he almost hisses these words--

Hello, Tristan Slater. Nice to see you again! Still "laying down" for the Mark Flynns and the Peter Gilmours of the XWF, are you?

Sid drops down into a heap and is broken out into a cold sweat. He looks around nervously and covers himself up as if he were feeling naked and violated, scurrying off into the distance before he gets gang raped.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-14-2014, 04:15 PM**

Nah, nigga. I admit my losses fair and square. But I will also admit that I was trying to help someone out who needed it. But let's you and me see who's better, PPV. Like I said, bitch.

~~Sid Feder~~ · **02-14-2014, 04:23 PM**

I refuse to accept the fib.

Peter Gilmour defeated you and you hate it. Just like Joseph Page and Tax hated it, remember? Oh wait that was before your time and mine so neither of us remember that actually. Disregard.

[sarcasm] Yes, Frodo, you're the first person ever to have a problem with a Gilmour loss and you're also the innovator of making up that you laid down for somebody who out performed you. I am in awe of your woodworking skills, you crafty bastard. [/sarcasm]

Lastly I have to remind you that if you can't beat Gilmour and had to lie about it, you really don't stand much chance with me. What are you going to do the week we face off? Spend nine promos talking about, in advance, your plan to lay down for Sid Feder? How Sid needs this win more than you do? Talk about how Sid is just some old ass loser who can't get the job done in the ring so you're going to do the right thing just like you did for Gilmour? Look at that, kid, I just filmed your entire week of material against me so that when you do lose to me you can look back and prove you planned it!

Clapping fills the air.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-14-2014, 04:28 PM**

I don't have a problem with losing to Gillyweed. It's why I offered up another match to him. Hell I even congratulated him on his match. Gilmour's a lot of things, but bad in the ring isn't one of them, usually. He was having a bad week so I thought I'd let him have a win. And no, I won't lay down for you, manboobs. I'll fight until I can't feel my lungs anymore if I have to. So, do you accept my match or are you going to run like a pussy?

~~Sid Feder~~ · **02-14-2014, 04:40 PM**

You lost and tried to challenge him to another match in hopes that you could finally beat him? Is that what you just said you did?

I always congratulate the people I lay down for too, Frodo. It's the polite thing to do. You're a good guy.

I don't accept your lies but I'll show up to beat you in a match anytime, if that's something you'd like. Or did you want me to lay down for you on this one? Let me know, man. I ain't hard to get along with if ya just talk to me straight.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-14-2014, 04:51 PM**

I won't lay down for him if we fight again, and I won't lay down for you, either. I expect you to show up and be bring your best.

~~Sid Feder~~ · (02-14-2014)

Shut up.

Steve "KingSlayer" Davids · **02-14-2014, 05:17 PM**

Frodo gunna die.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (02-14-2014)

Here I am telling you I'll bring my A-Game, so you better as well. Don't puss up like some people here. I want to see who is actually better. I respect your skills, Feder. But I don't give two shits about you or your personality.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-14-2014, 09:26 PM**

just stop while ur ahead frodo. u are not going to beat feder

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-14-2014, 09:28 PM**

So if we asked you to be in the match where the only way to lose is to be pinned by you, you'd say no? Is that what I'm hearing? Because I liked that idea, and apparently Sid did too.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-14-2014, 09:32 PM**

id be happy to pin you again ;) but i dont think Sid would willingly let me pin him

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **02-14-2014, 09:37 PM**

(02-14-2014, 04:34 PM)Sid Feder Said: Isn't that the match my uncle Jimmy made up about fifteen years ago? It sounds like a match Peter Gilmour would want to be a part of so why don't we invite him into it too? The fall can be decided by who gets pinned by Peter Gilmour. He can be one of the weapons and then you can say you laid down for him twice when Sid Feder didn't find you important enough to pin you himself.

If you can convince somebody to book that match, I'd show up for it. I don't even care what stipulations you agree to. Keep Gilmour out of it if you're scared of him being involved; I'll be there either way. I wouldn't disrespect ya by just ignoring you after you put all this effort into getting me in a match to move yourself closer to the main event of the pay per view. This is the only way you'd have a shot in appearing in the second half of the show! It's actually a somewhat decent strategy, son, so bravo.

Nope, there he is coming up with the idea. Are you trying to back out?

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