So, when we last left the tiny hobbit he was standing in front of a Blood Bank about to rob it so he can get some precious blood for his vampire lover. His plan was originally perfect, but staring it head on he realized it was the stupidest plan ever. He deserved to get shot or something for this. Who has Snooki eat a potato then buys a gun from some girl from Soap Operas? Frodo, that’s who. Well, it was now or never for Frodo to take this huge step. First step was to put on his mask.
He walked up the door, saw it was locked, and pulled out his lock pick set and went to work. With the doors unlocked Frodo ran in and checked the building layout on his phone. He ran towards where he knew the blood was kept. There was a single guard pacing the halls, Frodo sneaked up on the guard, kicked his legs out, and caught him in a sleeper. Pressing the BB gun against the man’s head Frodo whispered a threat into his ears.
”My name is Hunter Payne, when you wake up look me up, check me out. If you tell anyone who did this or what you saw I will come find you, and kill you.”
Frodo left the guard on the floor in the hallway as he passed out, after first dunking his nuts into the man’s slightly agape mouth. He made sure to run off before the man awoke and came across the blood freezer. This would be a little more difficult to get into so Frodo pulled out his pipe welder, and prepared to cut through the door. He quickly realized this plan was equally stupid, and noticed it was kept closed with a lock on a latch. He instead just cut through the latch and broke the door open. Once in the freezer Frodo filled up his burlap sack with baggies of blood of all different varieties. Once he filled his sack he emptied his other sack all over the floor.
As he left he passed by the guard again. This time instead of dunking his junk, Frodo took the man’s shoes. He wasn’t sure why he took the shoes, but he did and it felt good. Yay Frodo. He ran past the receptionist desk, and he decided to take a dump right on the desk before running out the front door. There was no alarm, no cops, nothing. It looks like Frodo was about to get away with this.
He ran around the corner where he parked his car, put the sack of blood in the trunk, got in turned on the radio to his favorite Selena Gomez song and drove off into the night. Frodo was jamming out to Selena Gomez with “That’s more like it.” Yeah, he was a man. As he drove away he pulled out his phone and called Zak up.
”Hey, babe. I’m on my way home. I got you something special. It’s something super awesome. You’re gonna love it. You almost ready for dinner? I guess it’d be more like breakfast now, but it’s ok. I know a place that’s open 24/7, and serves wine all day long. It’s a lovely place, and maybe we can get back before the sun comes up. I’m still not sure I get your vampire rules.”
Frodo drove by a cop who pulled him over. Apparently in California it was illegal to speed and be on the phone. The cop came over, ran Frodo’s license, and gave him a ticket then sent him off. Frodo waited for the cop to leave before driving off and into the arms of his vampire lover. He just had to hope that Zak hadn’t changed faces again. Frodo wasn’t sure he could take another face swap so soon, he might have just started to get used to this last one.
”Oh, before I arrive I guess I have to say a few words to Nazi about our match. Um, yeah, I’m not sure where to begin. It’s kind of hard because I already proved he doesn’t know his shit like he wants to, and I busted him in the head with a brick one. I guess I’ll let Tony Basil do the talking for me. ‘Oh Nazi you so fine. You so fine you blow my mind. Hey Nazi.’ Yeah, best I got.”
Frodo pulled up outside Zak's hotel, parked the car, grabbed the sack from the trunk and ran inside to his vampire lover.
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