For those of you who don't know, or for that matter don't remember, after all, Cain is simply forgettable, my opponent this week, at one time was a member of a failed existence. The failed existence being my Brotherhood. You see, Cain would come to me every week, begging for me to give him something to do that would make him relevant. Cain was nothing more than chattel. Property, in other words. I'd move him around like the pawn that he is on a chessboard. The question though, is why?

Why would I associate myself with someone so undeserving of my attention and my affection? There was a point in time, XWF fans, that I saw a lot of promise and potential in Cain. There was a point in time where I dubbed him the Future of Darkness. Those ideas though, never came to fruition. See, Cain lost time and time again. He changed his identity time and time again. It's like the man suffers the most severe case of attention deficit disorder this side of Luca Arzegotti.

The reformed Brotherhood failed, because I chose Cain. That was my mistake. I mean, when you look back at the stable that never was, you can see so many promising names that flamed out faster than Peter Gilmore can eat a giant plate of Chicken Parmesan. And trust me, the man can eat that shit real fast. Like, in under a minute kind of fast.

Hunter Payne? Gone.

Tony Santos? Loaded with potential, but gone nevertheless.

Shawn Steele? I was a big fan, but he's gone too.

Griffin MacAlister? He turned out to be a piece of shit lowlife, but he was good once.

Peter Gilmore? I booted him because he was and still is borderline . There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not something I wanted in my Brotherhood.

Cain? The absolute bottom of the barrel worst of the worst members of the Brotherhood. And therein, lies the most interesting question. Why is Cain, once so full of promise and potential, a complete fucking loser?

The fact of the matter is real simple. See, when we as professional wrestlers enter the business, we choose to take things about our lives and make them open to the public. Cain has decided to “reinvent” himself over and over and over again. From Romulus Heinrich Winters to Cain to Cain Arkham to whatever the hell he's calling himself this month.

He tries and tries and tries but he can never find that one thing that puts him over the top. He can never reveal the one part of his life that people might find interesting and want to watch. He's never had a memorable match and besides that one development title reign he had a long time ago, he's never had a legitimate championship added to his name.

At the end of his career, you can line up fans from all over the world and no one would remember Cain even existing. On the flip side of that same coin, ten years from now, twenty, thirty, hell even a century from now. You can ask a hundred fans, a thousand, ten thousand, hell ask ten million fans. I'd bet that whether through seeing me live, on the television or through stories handed down from generation to generation, the vast majority of those you speak to will remember Sebastian Duke. They will remember the King of Darkness. Whether they like me, they love me, or even if they hate me, they will remember.

And if by some chance a decade down the road when a bunch of fans gather together to party and watch an XWF pay per view one of them does indeed remember Cain, the rest of that party will all fall silent. They will look on at each other, confused as the universe is vast. In unison, they will ask the ultimate question as it pertains to the name Cain. They will utter one single solitary word.

That word?

Who.

You see, I watched the Cain promo this week. Trust me, there's evidence to support that. Over the weeks and months and years that pass by us all, most tend to get better at what they do. Cain? He does one of two things. One, he stays pat. Stagnant. He doesn't move one way or the other. He doesn't improve, and he doesn't regress. The other? Ha! He flat out shits the bed and Cain's first promo for my Intercontinental title was exactly that.

Complete shit.

This shit was so bad that I literally tried to hang myself. When that didn't do it, I even attempted to shoot myself. Of course, Theo stopped that from happening and demanded answers. So, being the man that I am and having to show him the reason I tried to do it, I made him sit and watch the Cain promo. He watched and listened. When it concluded, he quietly stood up, closed the laptop computer, and promptly tried to off himself, too.

If there is a worse promo out there in the XWF, I'd be shocked. Let's take a look at the goods, shall we?

Cain Said:”You see, the competition here in the XWF is like climbing a mountain. At the bottom of that mountain? Pebbles. Pebbles like Sacrelidge. Like Lucius Fyre. The list goes on.”

Cain Said:”Everyone listening right now is either employed here or has watched me. I've been climbing for over a year now and the mountain just seemingly grows and grows."

Cain Said:”Time...after time...after time...the ones who win make it out with their lives, while the ones who lose thank God, Buddha, Allah...whatever you call them...they thank their false Gods that the Legendary Murderer...the Killer King...he spared them."

Cain Said:”I am Cain Arkham. I am the Killer King, the Messiah of Pain. You should definitely know who I am."

Cain Said:”That's perfectly okay, because I want you to underestimate me. I want you to walk into this match with the belief that you'll get a free win. However, you command armies, so that probably won't happen. But if it does, please understand that it will make your destruction all the sweeter."