"So, Vinnie Lane is a fucking giant pussy, apparently. Too afraid to speak on what I've said to do anything more than focus on Samuels. Because Samuels is definitely going to be something in his future, right? As Maverick has recently stolen from me, lolnope. See, I don't have to point out again and again how much of shot you don't have at getting that title from Theo, I don't have to point out sarcastically how I am not in the pathway for anyone to get a title shot, and I do not have to point out again how fucking Lane is for believing the previous statements to be false. What I do have to point out how ridiculously unoriginal and just boring Lane is in his real life. Let's examine something major that happened for him. He bought a strip club, and having some girl in his life run it. Let's recap that for a second. He bought a strip club, and is having a girl in his life run it for him. Who does that sound like? Oh, yeah. Me. Lane is not only stealing his jacket from Scorpio, not only stealing, and tarnishing the last name Lane, and stealing the name Senator for his dick from Samuels, which is even odder given his new found obsession with John, but now he is stealing his investment ideas from me. Fuck, what with Maverick taking my phrase, and Caroline taking my dick in her ass, everyone is 'Borrowing' from the Hobbit. I wouldn't be surprised if next Lane is going to find out that one of the strippers there is his daughter or something. Then, to prove he's not like me, he'll probably fuck her, but not really because he's a homo.
Oh, right, he told you all that I was going to find new and inventive ways to call him gay, right? Nah, I'm going to stick to the classics of pointing out his faggotry, or tree if you will. Because they just work. See, for Samuels I had to invent new and clever ways to do it, because it's not fun to keep calling him gay for taking my sack in his mouth, not when he readily will admit he had my balls there. No, with that, because Samuels admits when the truth, you have to find new fun ways to do it. But then, with Samuels, it's always about having more fun with shit. Listen, Vinnie, I just want to make this abundantly clear before we carry on. Everyone here knows you're gay, and if you just admit it we'll be a lot nicer. That being said, you are so fucking deep in the closet that you're going on adventures with Aslan and shit, but it's like a super see through closet, so we see you tickling Aslan's balls with your tongue. So, you know, quit it. It's just sad and weird for you to be doing anything with lion balls. Mostly because we know you don't have balls of your own to play with, and you're just compensating.
That's right, you've been outed as a sackless hermaphrodite, again. And it shows what with you not being man enough to discuss the accusations I've thrown at you. Took you two days to record a promo, and you couldn't even fucking address me, except for saying 'fuck you'? Really? And you want us to respect you? Even after you've gone and stolen the same routine I used to get my match, the one you cried about? Yeah, you fucking hypocrite bitch. It's ok, though, because like the great John Bender said, you couldn't ignore me if you tried. I'll make sure of it. You fucking pussy. And let me make something perfectly fucking clear. The part of the 80's that you're obsessed with? That's pure horseshit. You picked the stupidest and gayest part of the 80's. You like the dudes running around in lingerie and shit, looking like women. And you want to make fun of me for marrying a transsexual. It's not much different than you doing what you do. Seriously, bruh. You're going on and on about the ugliest fucking dudes on the planet, and blasting their fucking shitty music. Like you're so fucking cool.
You're not. You're a fucking with teased hair. What's even worse? You were barely alive for that shit. Like, the 80's ended when you entered Kindergarten. You know Hair Metal started falling in like 1991, right? When you were 6. You grew up more with grunge and stuff like that, then shit like Twisted Sister. I actually was in high school and junior high for most of this. Yeah, that's the stupid ass music that I had to deal with, well some of it. And what's worse, you bypass obsessing over the good stuff because they don't look like fucking girls. And also, what kind of fucking supposedly heterosexual comes out to Twisted Sister? For real? Seriously, man? You can't talk about something like the Bauhaus, Minor Threat, Youth of Today, Judge? Any of the good, nonpussy bands from the 80's? What about the fucking Misfits? You want to to tell us you're not a fucking flaming back of condoms, but you're relying on a bunch of drag queens to enforce that lie? Sweet googly moogly, that makes perfect sense. Guys, I'm perfectly heterosexual because my wife looks like a girl, and only tops me once a month. Perfect, right?
And let's not forget the best part! The very best part of all this stupid shit. Lane supposedly being more famous than I am. Right? That's what he thinks. How about the fact that the Roster pages they have on us for the XWF site, so the fans can check out their favorite wrestlers, have a view tracker for us to check out. Guess who has more views on theirs, Lane or me? I do. And I know, I've been here longer than Lane, but the thing is that it's not even proportional. I've been here 3 times as long as Vinnie has. 3 times, but I have 6.6 more times as many views as Lane. Not only that but LH Harrison has more views. Harrison, who doesn't fucking wrestle anymore, not since Halloween has more views. Scully has almost the same number of views as Lane. You know who has more views as well? Ghost Tank. Yeah, bro. You're so popular that people are checking Tank out more than you, and he came in at the beginning of October. You've been here twice as long as Tank, and you're less popular. Are you fucking kidding me? Do facts exist in your world, Lane, or do lies rule the world? Cause, I want to live in a world where whatever stupid delusions we can come up with will be the truth. I'd be a 12 foot tall robot whose cock shoots lasers.
Oh, and final note, bitch tits."
Frodo wakes up and walks into the kitchen where Norman is standing there making breakfast with Katie.
"Hey, daddy. Your friend Norman stopped by. We were gonna make breakfast for you. Surprise."
Frodo scratches his balls, looked at Norman, and then at Katie.
"Ain't my friend. He's your brother. The one Luca shot. Surprise, he can regenerate, I guess."
She looks at Norman, then at Frodo.
"Really?"
"Yeah, sorry for the deception. I didn't think you knew about me."
"So, hey, baby brother. Whatchu been up to?"
"Working with the Marshal's in Harlan, Kentucky. You?"
"I've just been working and having a threesome with Luca."
"He shot me, and you had a threesome with him?"
"Yeah, I didn't know he really shot you at the time."
Norman's phone beeps, he checks it out and puts it back in his pocket.
"It's ok, guys. I have to go. I will see you later."
Norman vanished without saying anything else. Katie puts eggs on a plate and hands them to Frodo. He walks over and sits at the kitchen table, before pulling a baggy of Coke out of his pocket, and sprinkling it on his eggs.
"I'm sorry, did you just coat the eggs I made you with Cocaine?"
"Yes. Yes I did. I do it all the time."
"Whatever. What are you doing today, Daddy?"
"Gonna see your brother, have lunch with him. Sarah's going to buy a new car, so she doesn't want me there with her. Plus, I've got to call someone about a present for Joey."
"Whatchu getting him?"
"Gator has a 1969 Camaro. I want to look at it."
"I get a Miata, and he gets a Camaro?"
"You chose your Miata, remember? I wanted to get you a Trans Am, or something fast."
"Fine, whatever."
Katie sits down by Frodo, and they eat in silence, until Sarah walks into the room, and makes a plate of eggs, her erection unable to be hidden by her panties. Frodo gestures, and Sarah quickly tucks it up before closing her robe. She sits down and begins to eat with them. The three of them begin to talk amongst each other until Crack bursts into the room looking like a sack of raped dildos, you know, like Lane.
"Fuck your brother."
"What happened?"
"When they wouldn't arrest me for not paying his made up ticket, he drove me to the city dump, tased me, took me to the middle of the dump, and buried me. I had to dig my way out and then get home. I'm going to shower, then eat, then sleep."
Frodo howled with laughter before finishing his food, and going about getting ready for the day. He goes and showers in the master bathroom, gets dressed, and heads off to the local Target to get some shit. Once inside he makes his way to the Food Avenue where he grabs a thing of Popcorn, and heads off to check the store. He finds a pair of Batman pajamas, the onsie style, and he folds it up and places it inside his hoodie. Then he passes a rack of thongs, where he finds Sarah's size, and slides it into his pocket. After what feels like 20 minutes of him perusing and stealing he heads out the door without buying anything but the popcorn. He drops the stuff off in the back of his Nova, checks his watch, it's 9.30, so he heads off to Joey's high school, it's almost lunch time. Maybe.
He gets to the school, and still has 30 minutes until lunch time, so he sneaks into the bathrooms to smoke a little Crack before lunch. Some kid walks in as Frodo's lighting the pipe, kid gestures for a hit, and since he's not the father, Frodo lets the kid hit the pipe. Frodo then sells him a rock for $200. Who says you can't make money in schools? So, Frodo then finally has lunch with Joseph-Gordon. It's fairly normal. Joseph is all asshurt
"What are you doing here, dad?"
"What do you mean, what am I doing here? You're my kid. I'm seeing you. We're eating, and then I'm going to go call someone about something for you."
"Right. Is that why you got high in the bathroom? Get the fuck out of here."
Frodo begrudgingly gets to his feet and heads out the door, leaving Joseph-Gordon to feast on both lunches by himself. He's driving down the road until he finds a middle aged homeless woman begging for change. He parks and walks over to her.
"I will pay you to fuck my kid. Twenty five hundred. You down? You can shower and eat first, but you have to fuck him."
"How old?"
"Sixteen."
"Deal, but I want two meals before, and one after."
"Fine. Let's go eat."
They got in the car, and drove off to McDonalds where they ordered a ton of food and drove off towards Gwen's house. Frodo would let her shower and clean herself up there first. Along the way Frodo and the girl began to eat in their car, a known crime in Troy, Michigan, where they had crossed into. Suddenly a cop pulled up behind them, pulled them over, and saw the extent of the food being consumed. He arrested Frodo, and Homless Girl, and impounded the car. Frodo used his one call to call Swagmire.
"Hey, get me out of here. I got picked up for eating in the car."
"Troy?"
"Yeah. Didn't realize I passed into there."
"Sucks to be you. My ass ain't going there. Bye. Gary and I are going to go and arrest some protesters."
Lane is for believing the previous statements to be false. What I do have to point out how ridiculously unoriginal and just boring Lane is in his real life. Let's examine something major that happened for him. He bought a strip club, and having some girl in his life run it. Let's recap that for a second. He bought a strip club, and is having a girl in his life run it for him. Who does that sound like? Oh, yeah. Me. Lane is not only stealing his jacket from Scorpio, not only stealing, and tarnishing the last name Lane, and stealing the name Senator for his dick from Samuels, which is even odder given his new found obsession with John, but now he is stealing his investment ideas from me. Fuck, what with Maverick taking my phrase, and Caroline taking my dick in her ass, everyone is 'Borrowing' from the Hobbit. I wouldn't be surprised if next Lane is going to find out that one of the strippers there is his daughter or something. Then, to prove he's not like me, he'll probably fuck her, but not really because he's a homo.![[Image: tumblr_muezwyZOyl1qfqg3uo1_500.gif]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/20d9d4efb7dc19c8854179845f218606/tumblr_muezwyZOyl1qfqg3uo1_500.gif)
![[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/ZXX7HJw.png?1)
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