It's been over a month since the CIA Black Ops team dubbed "Lightning" was put together by Bruce Dern. During that time Theo's team has been hard at work gathering intel and then planning the who, what, where, when and how's of Operation: Chicken Parm yes, you heard that right, Operation Chicken Parm, the name was Theo's contribution to his teams hard work. And after a months work of hard work the T's have been crossed, the I's have been dotted. Today is the day that Theo's team extracts Hamad Odeh from his family home in Kobani. A small town on the Syrian and Turkish border. Few people outside of Hamad's inner circle know of this particular estate and unfortunately for Hamad one of the members of his inner circle happens to be a CIA informant and it was his intel that has lead Theo's team to an airfield approximately five miles from the family home.

Theo Pryce, David Archer, Bryan Cross and Tom Reagan are gathered around a small makeshift table about 5 feet from their armored SUV. In the center of the table is a tablet which appears to have a blueprint of Hamad's home and next to the tablet is a gray sat phone. On the other end of the phone is the team of Bruce Dern, Catherine Hyde and Harper Kane all of which are locked away inside the Istanbul Safehouse that Theo visited a few weeks ago. The team on the ground are all wearing bulletproof vests, helmets equipped with night vision goggles, an earpiece that connects them to each other as well as the team in the safehouse and last but not least assault rifles. Specifically M4 Carbines. Each man is also equipped with two handguns affixed to their belt which is also housing two clips of ammo for the assault rifles.


"Alright let's go over this one more time." The unmistakable voice of Bruce Dern blares out over the sat phone. The command which was worded more as a polite suggestion springs the 4 men on the ground into action. The first one to respond is David Archer, the teams Tracking and Surveillance Specialist, call sign Shadow.

"Ok. The home is heavily guarded. Our source tells us that there are 6 guys guarding the perimeter at all times. There are 4 exit/entranceways in the home and each of them has 2 people guarding them. There is also a team of 6 that are roaming within the home at all times and that does not include Hamad's personal guard."

"Talk about overkill."

"Tell me about it mate."

"How many are in Hamad's guard?"

"6."

"So we are talking about a minimum of 26 armed guards, possibly more. And what about Hamad's family, where will they be located?"

"The childrens rooms are located at the end of the hallway approximately 100 feet from Hamad's room".

"I don't like it."

"Don't like what?"

"The idea that a stray bullet could take out a kid. There has to be another way to do this. One that doesn't put a few kids at risk."

"Well it's a little late to be changing the plan. The time for second thoughts was two weeks ago. This operation has been approved and the clock is ticking."

The response from Bruce doesn't seem to sit well with Theo who upon hearing the slight dressing down from his boss walks away from the table with his head down.


"Anyone else care to object to the plan that we all agreed on weeks ago or are we ready to go?"


Silence...


"Good. Then it's time for guys to move out. Once you get to the next location our contact will take it from there. We will be monitoring your progress from here."


David reaches towards the sat phone, picks it up and ends the call. As he does that Bryan Cross one of the teams field agents, call sign Thunder packs up the tablet into a small black bag while Tom Reagan the agent on loan from MI6 call sign Goldeneye walks over towards Theo who is still pacing around.


"Everything alright mate?"

"Yeah like I said, I just don't love the idea of some innocent kids possibly eating a bullet because their father is a terrorist scumbag."

"I get it mate, I truly do and we've all been there. Myself included. But trust me, we are the best in the world at what we do and I've been told you can handle your own under pressure. We will be fine. Quick in and quick out before anyone even knows we were there."

"What?"

"What? I said quick in and quick out before anyone even knows we are there."

"Exactly."

"What did I say?"

"Everything."


Theo's face lights up and he quickly walks over to the black SUV. He opens up the passenger side door and starts riffling through his jacket. An action which draws the attention of the other three men with him.


"Everything alright mate?'

"Perfect."


Theo turns around from the vehicle a small shiny object in his hand.


"I'll just be a second."


Theo takes the small object and places it onto his ring finger and then vanishes.

Cross, Reagan and Archer all stand there, one of them looking completely unsure of what he just witnessed the other two with jaws almost hitting the floor. The first one to break the silence is David Archer.


"What the fuck just happened?"

"I don't know David." Responds a still in shock Bryan Cross.


Approximately 30 seconds later Theo reappears in front of the three men but he isn't alone. Kneeling next to him, his hands bound is Hamad Odeh.


"Theo mate, what just happened."

"I took your advice."

"What advice?"

"You said it yourself Tom, in and out before anyone notices. So I did just that. I went in, grabbed Hamad and got out before anyone saw a thing."

"How?"

"Well David it's kind of a long story, one I would be glad to fill you in on as we drive back to the safe house."

"What are we going to tell Bruce?"

"Leave that to me."

One Hour Later

"You did what?" Bruce's voice penetrates the air like the hail storm of bullets that was supposed to be but wasn't.


The team now all gathered in the underground safe house looks at Theo waiting for him to answer Bruce but Bruce being the irate bastard that he is doesn't give Theo a chance.


"I asked you a question son. You did what? You teleported? This isn't Star Wars. People don't just teleport."

"Trek. Star Trek. You know, Captain Picard, Commander Riker, all them? No? Ok well anyway, people do teleport. I did. Your men over there they saw it. Now I get why you might not want to put that in any sort of official record but it happened. And to be honest Bruce you should be thanking me for doing it."

"Thank you? Thank you for what?"

"I got Odeh. He is sitting in the cell down the hall under armed guard. Not a single bullet was fired. None of the team was put in harms way. That all happened because of me."

"Everyone out." Bruce yells as he points to the metal door on the far side of the room.

"Bruce...Theo has a point."The sweet angelic voice of Harper Kane chimes in. If there is anyone in the room who would take Theo's side it would be Harper. The two of them developed a little bit of a friendship when she came to visit Theo a few weeks back. Granted she came to visit Theo upon Bruce's request and not of her own desire but Theo can look past that little fact because she's smoking hot and unlike every other woman that he's tried to sleep with, she actually said no.

The fun is in the chase.

"Look Bruce we have a real opportunity here to do a lot of good without risking our lives. Isn't that what is important? We got Odeh, and no one was hurt. What more could you possibly want?"

"How about an explanation? One beyond "I teleported.""

"But that's what happened. Ok you know what, fine. Let's put it all out on the table then. First I need you all to open your minds to the possibility that we are not alone in this universe."

"You mean like aliens?" Catherine Hyde resident tech genius and research specialist chimes in for the first time.

"Yes but not little green men, or big grey men like in that God awful Indiana Jones movie. I am talking about aliens that look and sound and to some degree act just like us."

"You're serious?"

"100%. They exist, I know this because I know one. Well actually, I know several. But specifically I am friends with one. He even showed me his home planet. He needed my help with something and in return for that he gave me this."


Theo pulls the teleportation ring out of his pocket and places it in the center of the table for the team to see.


"This little ring allows me to teleport anywhere I want, instantaneously. It is what allowed me to grab Odeh and then bring him back to the team in a matter of seconds. And I can do it as many times as I want. Unfortunately the ring only allows me to teleport to various places but not teleport to different times. That is something I was in the process of researching at Pryce Industries but I was never able to finish my research."

"That is some fiction you are spinning."

"Not sure how you can call it fiction when Odeh is down the hall and the rest of the team saw what happened with their own eyes. It wasn't a magic trick, there were no hallucinogens used. If you want Bruce I can take you somewhere, anywhere you want just to prove it."

"Absolutely not."

"Fine. Harper you said the other day that you favorite food in the world is Sushi from a place called Sakura in New York City right?"

"Yes I did. Why?"


Theo grabs the ring from the center of the table and puts it on, vanishing instantly.


"No way."


A few moments later Theo reappears with two plastic bags in his hands which he then places on the table.


"What is this?"

"This Bruce is dinner. Sushi from Harper's favorite restaurant. I figure we are probably going to be here awhile so we might as well eat. Look I know Bryan is all upset because he didn't get to shoot anyone. I'm sorry about that Bryan. I know how psyched you get for this sort of thing. So tell you what, how about you and I go to my buddy's ranch out in Texas and we go kill us some illegals? He's got a bunch working for him so it won't be that hard to find him. And the best part is, he's a U.S Senator so we don't have to worry about the 5-O rolling up to ruin our fun either. I love being part of the 1%."

"Are you done?"

"Yes."

"Good because we have a lot to talk about and none of it will leave this room. Is that understood?"


The team almost in unison shake their head in agreement while also taking their seats around the table as Theo starts handing out dinner.

---

So here we are. Just a few days away from my first Universal Title defense. Now I know it's probably been a little longer than people would have liked. And I know that the real Slim Shady had promised weekly defenses until he turned out to be a fraud and up and vanished but I'm not him. Truth is I tried to get this match booked weeks ago but fucking Peter Gilmour was booked out six weeks in advance. Everyone wants a piece of the village . And I get it. Nothing makes someone feel good inside quiet like kicking the shit out of a manchild. The earless, noseless, dickless Peter Gilmour. Come one, come all and see the XWF's very own sideshow freak.

I'll be honest, I'm not going to waste my time saying a whole lot about Peter Gilmour. I said about all I needed to say a few week ago when the Kings kicked his and his teammates ass to take the trios titles. Nothing has really changed since then except for Gilmour's missing appendages. I'm sure Peter will have plenty of nonsense to say about me and when he does I'll be there to eat my popcorn, have a laugh and then teach Gilmour a thing or two about speaking out of turn. But for the sake of keeping things interesting I'll throw Peter a bone and mention a few quick facts because I know how much Peter loves facts. Here's two facts. First, Peter and I have been on opposite sides of the ring twice and in both instances, a one on one match and a trios match I have pinned Peter to secure the win. So for those keeping track at home that's Theo 2, Peter 0.

Second fact, Peter likes to talk about his accomplishments and how he's won this title and that title. How he's a 13 time X-treme Champion and a 1,000,000 time chump, well let's compare titles won since yours truly showed up on the scene. Since that is after all Peter's go to argument every single time. Actually I'll even throw Eli in there for giggles. I made my debut on 10/08/13 in a trios match in which yours truly scored the pinfall over John Austin. Since that time Peter Gilmour has won the 2 titles, the X-treme Title once and the Trios titles once. Eli James has won the Trios Titles once and the Universal Title once. And then there is the unrelenting greatness that is me, since my debut I have won the Crown, the Universal, the US title, the TV title, the X-treme title and the Trios titles. Twice. So according to my little scorecard I see:

Peter Gilmour - 2
Eli James - 2
Theo Pryce - 7

I'll just let those numbers marinate for a bit.

Now let's talk about the reason for the season, Eli James. The XWF's career coward. You know I find it funny that when Eli James held the title he couldn't be bothered to defend it. Not. One. Fucking. Time. But yet when Shades cashed in on him Eli came calling for that rematch. And now that I've done the same here comes Eli again, wanting his title shot. That's all Eli ever wants. Title shots. Fame. Recognition. And you know what, that's fine. He's certainly not the only one. But you see the difference between Eli James and a guy like Vinnie Lane, aside from the fact that Eli is too fat to wipe his own ass is that at least Lane is honest about who he is. Lane chases titles, chases fame and pussy and you know what, good for him. But Eli, Eli likes to speak as if he is some great prophet here to spread his message to the masses. That he's a guy looking out for his followers. That's the line he'll use to justify his handing down titles after winning them.

But you see Eli's version and the truth are two very different things. Eli doesn't hand down titles because he wants to spread the wealth. Eli hands down titles because he's too much of a pussy to defend them. I get the thrill of the chase. I really do. Hell I'm the same way. The difference is that when I win a title I have no problem defending it. I've defended every single title I've ever won. But you see Eli, Eli can't be bothered to defend a title because he's too afraid to lose a match. Now me, I don't care about wins and losses. I've lost my fair share of matches, and I've won a lot more than that. But what I do care about is someone parading around a fraud record.

One quick look at Eli James biography and you will see what I am talking about. Eli James Singles Record is 14-1. Pretty fantastic actually. If only it were true. You see I remember very clearly Eli James losing a one on one match with John Austin at Lethal Lottery 2. And in that match Eli James lost his United States championship. Hell Eli's own biography alludes to it. Undefeated this champion, undefeated that champion. But when it comes to the United States title it just says 1 time United States Champion. That 1 in 14-1 is a loss to Mark Flynn a few months back. So that would mean that losing to John Austin would make him 14-2. But wait, it gets better. A few weeks back yours truly after months of planning took from Eli the one thing he craved more than anything else. His Universal Title. In a one on one match. It happened at War Games, you all saw it. A one on one match. Eli James vs Theo Pryce and yours truly walked out the victor. So for those keeping score at home that would make Eli James 14-3 in singles matches.

If at any point Eli you want to interject and explain this please feel free to do so. I'd love to hear how you dance around this.

You know what else I love about Eli James, not only does he lay claim to a false record, he lays claim to a false championship reign. Undefeated European Champion? Does anyone remember how Eli James came to be the European Champion? I do. He didn't win the title in a match. In fact, he didn't win the title at all. Sid Feder handed Eli the title. I mean literally. Sid Feder laid down and let Eli pin him. Eli didn't earn it. But you see that's Eli's way. Eli thinks that everything should be handed to him because once upon a time he used to matter. And now? He doesn't. No one cares about Eli James but Eli James. And yet in Eli's twisted world a guy who wrestlers once every six weeks should be given title shot after title shot, #1 contender match after #1 contender match. Meanwhile the rest of you wrestle week in and week out trying to get your shot while Eli James just prances around demanding that he gets his.

Well Eli, on Wednesday you are going to get yours. You are going to get what I have given you since the day I got here. And that's a bad taste in your mouth and disappointment. I took your Congregation from you. I took your company from you. I had my brother Sebastian Duke bring you back to life just so I could take your Universal TItle from you. And now I'm going to take your chance at being the top dog again from you. You see I don't give a fuck about this title. Universal Champion? Big fucking deal. I was the King of the XWF while Eli James and Peter GIlmour were still clawing for scraps from the adult table. I don't care about this title, never did, never will. What I do care about is seeing Eli not get the things he wants. That is my end game here.

Now since both Eli and Peter like to distort the truth and claim false records my stipulations for this match is going to make it so that neither of these pussies can possibly claim anything other than a loss when the final bell rings. So the first stipulation is this. This match will not be a single fall match. No, this match will be an Elimination Style match. Only one person will walk out of this match without having been pinned. Spoilers, that will be me. And the other stipulation for this match? Well, this is the XWF after all, so we are going to make this an X-treme Rules match. Absolutely anything goes. Weapons, Interference, fucking clown cars I don't care. When this match ends there will be one undisputed Champion and same as it always was it won't be Gilmour because he can't get out of his own way and it won't be Eli because well...we've all seen how it ends when Eli steps in the ring with me and doesn't have the aid of people like Azrael to carry his fat ass around. Warfare can't come soon enough.