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LOF Part 3: TV Title Match & More!
Author Message
Paul Heyman
Guest



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#1
06-22-2014, 09:49 PM





”Hello Zepp” by Charlie Clouser plays.




JOEY STYLES: “The power house of the Heyman Alliance! Steve Davids! Paul Heyman will NOT be at ringside for this match due to running this event tonight. He calls it a conflict of interest.

“Though I'm sure he has something up his sleeve.”



”A Lesson Never Learned” by Asking Alexandria plays.




JOEY STYLES: “Here comes Tony Santos! He's lookin' ready to go tonight! He's had a fair amount of success before and tonight, he has the opportunity to add the Television title to his trophy collection!”



”Greenback Boogie” by Ima Robot plays.




JOEY STYLES: “The reigning defending Television Champ! Theo Pryce! Will he defend successfully tonight?”




XWF Television Championship
Theo Pryce ©
- vs -
Tony Santos
- vs -
Steve Davids
-Ladder Match-




The bell rings and the TV title match is officially under way. Santos goes right after Davids, but the power house will have none of it. He takes Santos to the mat with a double leg take down then jumps back to his feet. Pryce charges in but takes an elbow to the face.


Pryce staggers backwards while clutching his jaw. Davids charges toward Pryce, but gets caught with a drop toe hold by Tony Santos. Davids climbs back to his feet and grabs Santos by his trap muscles. Tony drops to the mat on his ass and delivers a kick to the side of Davids head.


Davids staggers backward and takes a devastating chair shot from to the back of the head from Theo Pryce. Theo aims for Santos who jumps to his feet and drop kicks the chair. The chair collides with Pryce's face. Pryce falls to the mat clutching his face. With both Pryce and Davids down for the moment, Tony Santos makes his way to the outside of the ring and retrieves the ladder.



JOEY STYLES: “Santos! Going for the ladder early here!”



Santos slides the ladder into the ring. He goes to slide in but is taken out with a baseball slide from Davids to the ladder, causing it to impact Tony's face. Santos falls flat on the floor.


Davids lifts the ladder, then delivers a vertical suplex to it, causing it to fall hard on top of Theo Pryce. Davids gets back to his feet. He tosses the ladder aside and sets his sights on Theo Pryce. He reaches down and yanks him to his feet by his hair. Davids then lifts him off his feet then delivers a vicious side slam to Pryce, slamming his body down against the ladder.


Davids is back to his feet and lifts Pryce back to his. Davids lifts him up and drops him over the top rope. He lands beside Tony Santos.


Back in the ring, Davids is setting up the ladder and ready to climb. He gets about mid way up and starts to reach for the title. Suddenly, the cable that holds the title above the ring begins to lower.



JOEY STYLES: “Vickie Guerrero! She's lowering the cable by remote control!”



Davids still can't quite reach it and ascends one more rung.



JOEY STYLES: “It's Ozymandias! He's the Madness General Manager and he's obviously caught on to a Paul Heyman scheme!”



Ozy stands next to Vickie Guerrero upon the entrance stage. He holds a much larger remote control. Vickie and Ozy look at each other.



OZYMANDIAS: “Sup?”



Ozy hits a button on his remote and the cable holding the title raises back to normal position just as Davids had his finger tips on it.



JOEY STYLES: “Ozymandias just stopped Paul Heyman from handing Steve Davids the Television Championship!”



The Xtron fades to Heymans office. He's looking extremely pissed off. Ozymandias looks back at the Xtron and waves... as if Heyman could actually see it. Heyman throws a bottle of bourbon at the camera in anger. The scene turns to snow and Ozymandias lets out a chuckle.


Back in the ring, Davids has ascended higher and unbeknownst to him, Santos and Pryce are both standing in the ring at the foot of the ladder.


On stage, Ozymandias has just taken the remote from Vickie's hands and smashed it off the ramp. She yells obscenities and stomps away. Ozy follows a few seconds later.


Once again, back in the ring, Steve Davids stares down at both Theo and Santos who stare up at him. Davids realizes his fate a second before Tony and Pryce work together to topple the ladder and send the powerhouse soaring toward the ground.


Unfortunately, Davids right leg gets tangled in the top rope and he hangs near the floor with his knee trapped. Pryce grabs the ladder and drives it into Davids knee as he screams out in pain. Santos has the chair from earlier and now drives that into Davids knee. Back and forth they go, each taking turns driving their hard objects into Davids.


Pryce finally drops the ladder and Santos immediately drives the steel chair into Theo's skull! Theo drops to the mat and Steve Davids still hangs in the ropes.



JOEY STYLES: “Here comes Heyman! He's ushering out the medics to tend to Steve Davids!”



Santos lifts up the ladder and instead of placing it within the center of the ring, he merely places it, standing up, in the corner.



JOEY STYLES: “What's Tony going to do here?”



Pryce is still down and out and Davids is being helped to the back by paramedics. Santos steps to the outside then climbs the turnbuckles directly behind the ladder. He climbs the ladder, and stands on the very top of it, staring down at Theo Pryce.



JOEY STYLES: “Nearly twenty feet in the air!”



Santos leaps off the top of the ladder with a Senton Bomb.



JOEY STYLES: “Final Destination!”



Pryce moves out of the way just in time and Santos crashes into the mat hard. Theo, slow to get up, makes his way to his feet with the aid of the ropes. He lifts Santos to his feet.



JOEY STYLES: “I think Santos is out of it here!”



Pryce shoves Santos against the ropes. Santos rebounds...



JOEY STYLES: “Pryce Check!”



Theo lands the spear but neither man is moving. Slowly, Theo begins to stir. Crawling, he makes his way toward the ladder, then uses it to get to his feet. He drags the ladder toward the center of the ring and stares up at his title before beginning his ascent.



JOEY STYLES: “Pryce is headed up, but Santos has him by the leg!”



Pryce struggles against Tony's grip and a well placed kick to the head sends him down to the mat. Theo starts to climb again. Slowly, he gets higher and higher. Racing against time as he climbs toward the championship belt. He nears the top and reaches up. Still too far.


He climbs another step and Tony Santos digs down deep. He scales the ladder quickly and drives his head into Theo Pryces causing Theo to lose his balance and fall to the mat below. Santos stands high above. He looks up at the title, then down at Theo.


He climbs to the very top of the ladder and leaps...



JOEY STYLES: “The Tony Award!”



Santos flies through the air with the shooting star press...



JOEY STYLES: “MONEY TALKS! OUT OF NO WHERE!”



Pryce lands the cutter on Santos. Both men are down once more. Theo slowly crawl toward the ladder. He uses it to to fight his way to his feet. Slowly he begins his climb, one rung at a time. Higher and higher he goes. Nearing the top, and reaching. The camera man stations himself just below the ladder, peering up at Theo Pryce as his finger tips graze the title.


Pryce steadies his footing and steps up one more rung. He grips the title with one hand...



JOEY STYLES: “LOW BLOW FROM SANTOS!”



The camera moves back, showing Santos a few rungs below with his arm trapped between Theo's legs. Santos repositions himself with his back to the ladder and his head between Theo's legs.



JOEY STYLES: “POWER BOMB! From Santos to Pryce! Pryce is down!”



Santos remains gripped to the ladder. He turns around and begins to climb the remaining few rungs. Higher and higher he goes. Just fingertips away.




Reaching...









Reaching...











JOEY STYLES: “Santos has his hands on the title!”



Santos gives one hard yank and title falls free. Santos and the title crash to the mat.



WINNER: Tony Santos – NEW XWF Television Champion




JOEY STYLES: “Santos has done it! He's the new champion!”



Both men struggle to their feet when...




Clunk!



Theo Pryce is nailed in the back of the head with a gutter, yes an entire gutter that was ripped off of some building, and Theo goes down flat on his face. The gutter is about 20 ft long and is now bent in half. Sid shakes the gutter and a can of spray paint falls out of it.



JOEY STYLES: “Sid Feder!”




Ready fer yer makeover, ?




Sid shakes up the can and starts to spray Theo with pink spray paint!

Oh look -- now ya can really be all pink even when yer not talkin' like all that gibberish!



Sid sprays Theo's entire body from head to toe with the pink spray and then smashes the can repeatedly into Theo's nose, busting it and allowing a thick stream of red to mix with all the pink.



Out of the corner of his eye, Sid sees Tony Santos so he turns and kicks his foot at Tony. Sid's boat foot (the toy boat at the end of Sid's peg leg) goes flying across the ring and smacks Tony right in the face. Sid hobbles over very quickly on his peg leg and retrieves his boat foot but instead of putting it back on, he aims the pointy front of the toy boat down at Tony's face and just starts mashing it into his flesh, breaking bits of the boat off in the process as Tony's blood flows freely.



!



Sid hobbles away; boat foot in hand and a loving smile on his face.



JOEY STYLES: “Sid Feder just took out the new and former champions in just a few seconds!”









A video and music fades in with a slow tone instrumental in a dark room. Zoomed in on a silver studio microphone surround by marijuana smoke zooming out as a dark tone male dressed in a designer t-shirt with a unique design with dark blue levis on. As the instrumental hit the thirty second mark he exhales the smoke he held for about ten seconds and starts rapping.....

I ain't perfect and karma knows this, a victim of dark hypnosis/
Behind these closed doors I write these poems, ignite explosions/
Concealed my thoughts and now it's hard to notice/
Placed my cards right, winner takes all then I chose this/
House rules divide the family, haunting me like Amityville/
Blood, sweat, tears, coming from my wisdom teeth's cavities spill/
Knowledge I fill, expose the government's deal, Devil I kill/
North Pole levels I chill, pride I steal/
There's always a dream, payday for a bottle of lean and then/
Impossibly clean with rhythms, wiping tears like Kleanex/
My world collides with yours like a meteor crash/
A new species, showing you red neck wrestling is inferior trash/

........Cut the track dub!!


What's wrong Percy? as the producer question Percy Gains on why he stopped

XWF as Percy mumbles those letters out

XWF? Oh shit the wrestling shit.....that shit fake as fuck guy looking in confusion at Percy

XWF.....XW M'F as Percy mumbles those letters out again a lil louder

His Producer looks at him speechless as Percy walks towards his throw'd away forty year old canadian football league fat body with a mountain man beard. Percy standing over him placing his giant hands on his producer head

You know how ruthless I was in MMA and how I don't give two fucks right...Keith? glaring in his producers eye as he lean and looking at him

Yea I kn...... before he finish Percy slams his head on the production table hitting the play button to start the instrumental up again. Then he turns to the camera with a cold-blooded homicidal stare as the scence fades out then says

Sup XWF...call me PG-13 and I SHOW NO MERCY FOR AN OPP!!!







Leap of Faith Match is Coming Up NEXT!
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#2
06-23-2014, 11:55 AM

Well would you look at that. A former King can't even beat one of Sebastian's old lackey's. My how the mighty have fallen.



I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
~Umberto Eco


[Image: LoylT4w.jpg]
[Image: TKO12Eu.jpg]

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#3
06-23-2014, 05:42 PM

I feel a set of congratulations are in order--

Congratulations, Tonya Santos -- your ability to defeat talentless pieces of shit is uncanny. Wow; Theo Pryce and Steve Davids. Who's yer first title defense going to be against? Bobby Zi? I mean he is a former champion here just like Theo Pryce was a former king, and that comparison is so appropriate.

Congratulations, Theo Pryce -- fer the first time in your thieving career, ya look perty in pink! !

Back to you, Tonya; this is the part where you use my comment about how great you are at defeating talentless pieces of shit and you leverage it into a sarcastic ass comment about how you can do the same to me. Oh, and don't ferget to put that title on the line when ya do get me in the ring. Maybe the 'limits' put on challengers will save you from me, just like they saved Theo from you.

Oh wait..


*drops bitch* What happened--? ? *walks away*

SiD    Fede
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Mia Dim Offline
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#4
06-23-2014, 05:47 PM

kick that ass, sid, like me and peter did to scorpio and frodo!

[Image: image-146.png]
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#5
06-23-2014, 05:54 PM

"You want Feder to let The black circle do his fighting for him? Ok. I guess."

[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]





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#6
06-23-2014, 05:57 PM

What's the matter Frodo, can't handle a couple of fans jumping the guardrail? Can't handle the X-Treme rules environment?!

[Image: image-146.png]
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#7
06-23-2014, 07:09 PM

Frodo is butthurt he still can't beat me

[Image: yPandTo.png]

SUCK... MY... DICK!

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#8
06-23-2014, 07:21 PM

"Tell you what, let's see if Scorp wants a redo, and we keep anyone from interfering. Peter, you like crying about how people interfere with your match, how about now?"

[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]





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#9
06-23-2014, 08:16 PM

I'm not saying shit. I'm a 5 time champ and u r still my bitch

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SUCK... MY... DICK!

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#10
06-23-2014, 08:18 PM

Nope, interference is here to stay. Adapt to the x-treme environment or get left behind! Pussy
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#11
06-23-2014, 08:21 PM

"I'm not saying I can't handle it. I want to prove something to Dim and Peter. The point is that without you they're nothing. Maddy, you made them champions."

[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]





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#12
06-23-2014, 08:31 PM

Frodo's right for once. If it weren't for me, Engima, Duke, Nova, NAZI, Luca, and now Peter and Dimallisher wouldn't be as big of stars as they are today.

As for you proving yourself to Peter and Dim- too bad. You had your chance and blew it. I even gave you and your boy a fair warning that the guys would probably get involved.

Besides, what would be different about round two? I'd still be Peter and Dim's manager and I'd still send my friends out to kick your ass with or without Peter and Dim's permission.
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#13
06-23-2014, 08:39 PM

"Because you know it, John. They can't take on Scorp and me without your boys. Say it."

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#14
06-23-2014, 08:52 PM

I believe they could, but I'm having too much fun to actually let them. Maybe I'll think about it next year.
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#15
06-23-2014, 08:56 PM

"Is this because of the things I said to you? Because I do not regret them at all. In fact, I think I want to get a soundclip of me saying them and change that to your ringtone, door bell, and whatever sounds I can think to modify for you. Because you're a fucking pussy ass bitch boy who one day hopes he'll be half as good Theo."

[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]





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#16
06-23-2014, 09:14 PM

Well, no. I already explained that even if those things you're saying about Theo were accurate, I'd be proud of Theo or any TBC member, past or present, for that matter. I even congratulated Theo after it was all said and done, and hugged him a couple times. Go ahead and put the clip on my doorbell if you'd like. But I think the one I have on there now of Peter and shithead beating you is better.
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#17
06-23-2014, 11:32 PM

Frodo, just shutup ok. Me and dim would own you again

[Image: yPandTo.png]

SUCK... MY... DICK!

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#18
06-24-2014, 01:55 AM

"Well then Peter, perhaps you would like to stick to your word because Scorpio and Frodo shall use their rematch clause. I am feeling generous though Petey, so perhaps you boys want to show up and defend those shiny belts on the next edition of Warfare next week... and maybe, just maybe... I'll let The Dimallisher pick the match type."

If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.
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#19
06-24-2014, 04:29 AM

I'll have to talk to my partner.

[Image: yPandTo.png]

SUCK... MY... DICK!

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#20
06-24-2014, 04:47 AM

(06-24-2014, 04:29 AM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: I'll have to talk to my partner.

Your life partner, Crimson Dong?

September 2013 and May 2019 Star of the Month
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#21
06-24-2014, 07:01 AM

"I'm willing to bet he says no. But speaking of saying no; Arch that thing we spoke of?

[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]





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#22
06-24-2014, 07:21 AM

Mayhaps.

If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.
Margaret Thatcher

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#23
06-24-2014, 09:51 AM

i bet u dim says yes to wanting to end u

[Image: yPandTo.png]

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
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#24
06-24-2014, 10:10 AM

"I bet you'll try and run away from it. Even if he says yes."

[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]





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#25
06-24-2014, 01:05 PM

why would I run away? ur my bitch! i need to beat u again Tongue

[Image: yPandTo.png]

SUCK... MY... DICK!

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#26
06-24-2014, 01:13 PM

"You don't need to, but you want like to."

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#27
06-24-2014, 01:30 PM

(06-24-2014, 01:13 PM)Theo Pryce Said: "You don't need to, but you want like to."

Damn lad, I'll pencil you in for the next firmware update after I fix up the humalien. Business is about to pick up for Soupcan's Brain Modifications Inc. However I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting something. Almost like I was supposed to be somewhere, ah well maybe if I drink more it'll come to me.

[Image: soupcan.jpg]
[Image: SDI5Q92.png]
1x (Pawned for booze money)


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#28
06-24-2014, 02:49 PM

(06-24-2014, 01:13 PM)Theo Pryce Said: "You don't need to, but you want like to."

Frodo can suck my dick and wait or a rematch

[Image: yPandTo.png]

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
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#29
06-24-2014, 02:56 PM

"I'm not sure the sentiment you were attempting to express there, but I think it failed. Wanna try again, slugger?"

[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]





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#30
06-24-2014, 03:37 PM

Suck it fromo!!

[Image: yPandTo.png]

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
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Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
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#31
06-24-2014, 03:45 PM

"So, you did just go full , then? Good to know."

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#32
06-24-2014, 03:56 PM

He's always been .

And you lost to him. Twice now? Kill yourself.
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#33
06-24-2014, 04:36 PM

(06-23-2014, 05:42 PM)Sid Feder Said: I feel a set of congratulations are in order--

Congratulations, Tonya Santos -- your ability to defeat talentless pieces of shit is uncanny. Wow; Theo Pryce and Steve Davids. Who's yer first title defense going to be against? Bobby Zi? I mean he is a former champion here just like Theo Pryce was a former king, and that comparison is so appropriate.

Congratulations, Theo Pryce -- fer the first time in your thieving career, ya look perty in pink! !

Back to you, Tonya; this is the part where you use my comment about how great you are at defeating talentless pieces of shit and you leverage it into a sarcastic ass comment about how you can do the same to me. Oh, and don't ferget to put that title on the line when ya do get me in the ring. Maybe the 'limits' put on challengers will save you from me, just like they saved Theo from you.

Oh wait..

Ah, Tonya Santos, eh, Sid? Does that give me a pass to go all Tonya Harding on you and get someone with a name as absurd as Jeff Gillooly to club you in the legs with a nightstick, or they're incredibly underused, and thus likely perky, sperm rods? Reeve Alexandra Gordon and Jack MuddaFukkin Hoff immediately come to mind, given their utter lack of talent, as well as the likelihood that their attack on you will lead to good ol' fashioned, three-way butt-thumping between you, thus keeping you busy in your otherwise uneventful time back here. I'm only looking out for you, after all, Sid. I'm a nice guy, Feder. An incredibly nice, caring guy who just wants the best for you and other cranky fucks with a shockingly shorter life to live than me.

And, good idea! Bobby Zi and Tony Santos! That sounds like a fucking marquee event that will fill up fucking Wembley, let alone whatever other dump we'd be thrown in in this fucking place. Thanks for the suggestion!

As for you and me? Oh, we'll be in the ring very god damn soon. Unfortunately, Bobby will likely be our next TV champion, given how of much of an incompetent, drunken fucktard I am. You'll need to go through that one-man gauntlet if you want the strap. You and I can have a lively, in-ring debate of the towns with the most in the US while jerking each other off with our right hands and having a thumb war with our lefts... why?

Because thumb wars are fucking fun, that's why. Thumb wars whilst in the middle of mutual masturbation are that much better.

Don't question me. I'm fucking Tonya Santos! And it ain't polite to question a lady. Now watch me bat my eyes and blow you a kiss.

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#34
06-24-2014, 11:22 PM

Blah blah blah, Tony; get the shit outta yer mouth. What are you? Another member of the Green family?

How big of a stale (not steaming; that would mean you were fresh instead of a has been) piece of shit does it take to sit there and make fun of themselves fer bein' a burnt (not flamming; again, that would mean you were hot in this industry right now which we all know isn't the case) homosexual cockblower? I'd imagine in yer constantly drug induced, or drunk, or whatever you always are state; you've got no clue what I'm even talkin' about by this point in the conversation.

It's simple -- you know that you can't talk the talk when it comes to dealing with anyone with the Feder name so you just roll over and take a dick in yer ass and pretend like ya like it. We both know, Tonya Softing, that you don't like suckin' those dicks you got punchin' you in yer tonsils -- yer doin' it because in yer partially sedated mind you think it fucks with my strategy of calling ya a big !

Uh, der, gee, golly; if Sid's gonna go around callin' everybody a then I better start suckin' dicks day and night and takin' loads up the ass from big bad just so Sid will sit there and scratch his head in confusion. Uh huh huh uh her her hardy harrr; what a gulping good idea.

Not only are ya a , and you were one before you started claiming your love for cocks, but yer also a man with very little (if any) wrestling talent. Wow; you won a title in a match where all you had to do was fall to win. Who knew? Who knew a drunken slapass could stumble his way into a match and fall to the ring? It's like the company decided it was time to just turn the TV title into a joke title so they created a match in which you just could not fail.

Well, then again, putting you in a match with Theo Pryce and Steve Davids also pretty much guaranteed that you couldn't fail. So take the combo of their zero talent, divide it by your fraction of talent, and multiply it by the odds of you falling at least once if not multiple times in the match and you've got a formula for a Winning Santos on the Rocks -- one of the most rare and elusive alcoholic beverages known to all bar kind.

That makes me think that when you and I do step into the ring we should bring some rocks into it -- no, not fuckin' ice cubes you drugged up cockblower. No, not even a crack rock, you drunken rape victim. I'm just talkin' about yer old fashioned rocks. I want you in a match where the only way to win is to stone the opponent into submission or enough blood loss that they pass out!

Come on you inebriated ! We can even invite Theo Pryce to get involved in the match. How about it, Theo? Would yer pink vagina like to be in the presence of yours truly when I stone Stoney Santos into fuckin' kingdom come? I'd be fine with your broke ass bein' the referee or bein' in the match as a compet--

hahahahahahaha I almost called you a competitor.

Theo; I'm saying this -- you can join us for the match as the official or as the other guy who can't and won't beat me.

You like the sound of that match, Tonya sweetheart? Is that match type one that you'd have the stones to accept?

And how about you, Mrs. Pryce? Funny how you call yerself 'Theo' which is actually the only honest thing to ever come from yer mouth. You are, without a shadow of doubt, the...O. Oh? Yeah as in zero. You're the biggest "o" on this side of the toilet b0wl that you enjoy talking about so much when you fantasize about Tonya's used up asshole. Haha, "the" o. What a fuckin' loser. You wanna be in the match or just be the fuckin' ref? Pick one or I'll shove my boat down yer throat -- that's got a perty nice ring to it; The-O Boat Throat.

What's it gonna be, ?


Walking away while he shakes his head in disgust, he says one last thing we all need to hear.

!


*drops bitch* What happened--? ? *walks away*

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#35
06-26-2014, 07:11 AM

Holy fuckin' shit, it looks like Tonya and The-0 are both too busy being cowardly pansies to even think of answering the challenge I outlined here.

What's wrong, Tonita? Got too many dicks in yer mouth in hopes that I find it redundant to call ya , , ?

What's wrong, The-0? Too busy huffing pink paint? Did you OD on paint again? Are ya in the hospital? Speak to me, boy!


Sid starts to panic and looks around frantically.

Help! Help! I think I done it! I done killed these two ! They ain't breathin' er nothin' right now. Can I get an EMT over here?


*drops bitch* What happened--? ? *walks away*

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#36
06-26-2014, 07:20 AM

"Sorry about the delay in my response Sid. I must have nodded off after your last never ending circle jerk of name calling and homophobic remarks. You see Sid, just like you, your shit has gotten old and stale. You try so hard to hang on to the Feder name because it once meant something, but you, this version of? What has Sid Feder Three point O done? Lost at World War X after you assured us all that you would be victorious? What have you done since then Sid? Disappear again only to come back in time for the next Pay Per View and wouldn't you know it, an asshole like Barney Green got put into a match but you didn't.

Think about that for a second, let that sink in. Paul Heyman that fat jewish bastard that he is actually preferred putting Barney Green into a match over you. That has to hurt. Even if you won't admit it, which I know you won't.

As for your challenge. I'll be there. Absolutely 100% I will be there. But in what capacity? Well, I'll let you know when I give enough shits to even think about it.

Until then, good luck with that toilet, did you find your plunger yet? Maybe you could use Tony's head to get out the clog."

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#37
06-26-2014, 07:37 AM

Did you just claim that somebody who has done nothing has somehow become old and stale? I think what you're assuming is old and stale is me verbally assaulting you, and it makes sense fer you to feel that way after the manner in which I exposed you the week of World War X. I'd feel the same way if I had as many faults as you and had somebody cramming them down my throat -- I'd be begging them to stop because of how old it is.

Did you also mistake me fer bein' an old man? ; I'm 26 years old and in the prime of my life.

You must have also been nodding off when Heyman was proving incapable of convincing me to accept an appearance on his shitty pay per view. He couldn't come up with the dollars to make the deal, and he couldn't come up with the pitch to make it real.

It almost sounds like yer tryin' to use Azrael logic right there -- just ignore what's already recorded and twist shit around to make a nice man like me seem like I'm either incapable or like I need something when all I was doing was offering a favor. Are you two bangin' these days?

Did you just confirm that you care enough about a future scenario to show up, but you don't care enough to plan how? My god, man, I hope that's just a tactic to try and confuse me -- but ya know the good news? Ya already confused me long ago when ya got labeled as a male on the XWF roster, so if confusion is yer game, yer perty good at it I guess. Too bad being confusing can't win you a match.

I don't think you have the stones to step into this match as a ref or as one of the players. I bet you'll try and become the guest commentator or maybe even the guest fluffer.



*drops bitch* What happened--? ? *walks away*

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#38
06-27-2014, 05:31 PM

(06-24-2014, 11:22 PM)Sid Feder Said: Blah blah blah, Tony; get the shit outta yer mouth. What are you? Another member of the Green family?

How big of a stale (not steaming; that would mean you were fresh instead of a has been) piece of shit does it take to sit there and make fun of themselves fer bein' a burnt (not flamming; again, that would mean you were hot in this industry right now which we all know isn't the case) homosexual cockblower? I'd imagine in yer constantly drug induced, or drunk, or whatever you always are state; you've got no clue what I'm even talkin' about by this point in the conversation.

It's simple -- you know that you can't talk the talk when it comes to dealing with anyone with the Feder name so you just roll over and take a dick in yer ass and pretend like ya like it. We both know, Tonya Softing, that you don't like suckin' those dicks you got punchin' you in yer tonsils -- yer doin' it because in yer partially sedated mind you think it fucks with my strategy of calling ya a big !

Uh, der, gee, golly; if Sid's gonna go around callin' everybody a then I better start suckin' dicks day and night and takin' loads up the ass from big bad just so Sid will sit there and scratch his head in confusion. Uh huh huh uh her her hardy harrr; what a gulping good idea.

Not only are ya a , and you were one before you started claiming your love for cocks, but yer also a man with very little (if any) wrestling talent. Wow; you won a title in a match where all you had to do was fall to win. Who knew? Who knew a drunken slapass could stumble his way into a match and fall to the ring? It's like the company decided it was time to just turn the TV title into a joke title so they created a match in which you just could not fail.

Well, then again, putting you in a match with Theo Pryce and Steve Davids also pretty much guaranteed that you couldn't fail. So take the combo of their zero talent, divide it by your fraction of talent, and multiply it by the odds of you falling at least once if not multiple times in the match and you've got a formula for a Winning Santos on the Rocks -- one of the most rare and elusive alcoholic beverages known to all bar kind.

That makes me think that when you and I do step into the ring we should bring some rocks into it -- no, not fuckin' ice cubes you drugged up cockblower. No, not even a crack rock, you drunken rape victim. I'm just talkin' about yer old fashioned rocks. I want you in a match where the only way to win is to stone the opponent into submission or enough blood loss that they pass out!

Come on you inebriated ! We can even invite Theo Pryce to get involved in the match. How about it, Theo? Would yer pink vagina like to be in the presence of yours truly when I stone Stoney Santos into fuckin' kingdom come? I'd be fine with your broke ass bein' the referee or bein' in the match as a compet--

hahahahahahaha I almost called you a competitor.

Theo; I'm saying this -- you can join us for the match as the official or as the other guy who can't and won't beat me.

You like the sound of that match, Tonya sweetheart? Is that match type one that you'd have the stones to accept?

And how about you, Mrs. Pryce? Funny how you call yerself 'Theo' which is actually the only honest thing to ever come from yer mouth. You are, without a shadow of doubt, the...O. Oh? Yeah as in zero. You're the biggest "o" on this side of the toilet b0wl that you enjoy talking about so much when you fantasize about Tonya's used up asshole. Haha, "the" o. What a fuckin' loser. You wanna be in the match or just be the fuckin' ref? Pick one or I'll shove my boat down yer throat -- that's got a perty nice ring to it; The-O Boat Throat.

What's it gonna be, ?


Walking away while he shakes his head in disgust, he says one last thing we all need to hear.

!

Oh, Sid, the more I get you to ramble, the more effective of a job I'm doing! Don't you get it? You pride yourself on pushing motherfuckers to the point where they're just enraged by your insults. But I, Tonya Santos, am able to turn your insults around faster than the toilet water rotated around the shit you dunked my head in. And that makes you...

mad.

Mad that I can spar with you verbally in a way that is only outdone by how much I can cripple you physically. Mad that I can make you feel as worthless and irrelevant as anyone who isn't the equivalent of an infant in this company knows you are. And just heated that a 26-year-old drunk with a gap tooth and a love for sidewalks and alleyways can still look better than a man counting the same miles, but running on fucking Valvoline.

You want a shot at me? You got it! Will it be for the TV Title? Not on my watch. Sure, the powers that be could make it for the title, and I'd happily oblige, but if it were solely up to me, you'd have to prove yourself, you crippled piece of garbage. Show me that you, the man who stole the title from me on a 24/7 briefcase claim for the European Title... a title that I had won against Luca Arzegotti... can hang with me, and then, sure! You'll get your shot at the belt. But until then, prove your merit.

But even then, why would you want it? You yourself called the TV Title a "joke title." Do you consider yourself a joke, Sid Feder? Most people worth their salt surely consider you the same. You're that drugged out fuck in the corner who screams obscenities while pissing your pants, eating your own shit. You mean nothing to me, and you sure as hell are nothing more than a hobbled show pony to the spectators of this roster. Go prance around your cage and neigh like a proper boy, Sid Feder. Make sure Peter Gilmour fixes your mane before you show yourself in public.

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#39
07-02-2014, 03:43 PM

Dang, boy, it took ya so long to think of that response that I fergot ya even existed. Now I look like the slow one fer takin' this long to realize you were here.

I appreciate you givin' me credit fer the good deeds the Sids before me did, and it shows you realize the name Sid Feder in itself is greater than any one man. The toilet bowl tango was indeed a marvelous memory for ya and I'd be glad to help ya relive it.

Did I say I wanted a shot at the TV title or did I say something along the lines of maybe the TV match restrictions or time limits or whatever-the-fuck they have goin' on that week will help protect ya from me? Perty sure I made a joke in there somewhere that you didn't get, and as fer that there TV title being a joke...heh heh...well, son, it's only as funny as the guy wearin' it.

Here ya are braggin' about thinkin' you can hold yer own in a verbal war of the tongues with a guy who has a set of false teeth and a bad case of thrush. Wow -- uh, good job? It took ya about 4 weeks to think of a rebuttal to me just havin' a lil' fun with ya and smackin' ya lightly with some softer words. What's gonna happen when yer expected to answer me in the same week that I speak, and when I'm not just playin' with ya? When I throw a punch to yer face in the ring, are ya gonna take 4 weeks to try and block the shot?

I'll wait -- no really, I will. I'll make sure to throw my punch in SSMSS, otherwise known as super slow motion Santos speed, just so your brain has a chance to filter the reality from the drunken haze long enough to give you a physical reaction and block. More on this fascinating development later.

Oh, and I'm better lookin' than you. I'd challenge ya to a pick up as many whores at a bar match but I don't want to humiliate you and emasculate you to the point of becoming sewasidal. It's bad enough yer a ; we don't need ya bein' a wigger too.

ass Tonya!


*drops bitch* What happened--? ? *walks away*

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