Crack!

Bouncing a ball against a shitty wall not a great idea. Well I was back in this hell hole you call a house out in the middle of nowhere next to a run down piece of shit place that was known as a power plant. After Manders booked it to find out what the hell she was I booked it from Ally Cats house and ended up in this place where a ball could break a wall down.

You know those sad sap stories people start talking about to make people feel sorry for them? The ones that are "My mommy and dada never loved my ass and wrestling was the only way I could live," yeah, I'm going to cut that crap and just leave you with I had a shit childhood and it lead me into this fuck hole known as professional wrestling. I'm not going to sit around and make any of you mother fuckers feel bad that I am where I am. As Manders would say all I give a shit about is sex drugs and wrestling and that its a sad sap life.

So a blunt hangs from my mouth and this ball in my hand keeps putting cracks in the wall while I think of wrestling. What the fuck is wrestling besides beating up someone for money. It's a like a god damn dog cock fight just with people.Not a dick cock fight I'm talking about a chicken and with how some of these wrestlers act they are just cocks pecking at each other until they bleed. But people eat it up and it pays my bills so why should I complain.


Rick: Jason.

Speaking of shit that pays my bills. Rick, a dude who had been riding this little ride with me since I was 18 and who was not the ass monkey of my sister. Real cute how I end up getting pushed to the rug while my great sister gets all she wants. Oh look my childhood all over again.

Me: Shouldn't you be banging elbows with Manders? I know you ant banging anything else. Wait like every woman in your life Manders hit the road.

Rick: Jason.

I should really fix these fucking windows. If I can hear Rick outside them everyone must hear me when I'm doing shit. Who the fuck am I kidding I don't do shit here.

Singing me: Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more no more.

Rick: You are worse at singing then the last time I was you. Good to know your taste in hotels still sucks does this one hand out chocolates?

Me: Funny Ricky old boy I don't remember one hotel we went to that ever had chocolates for me because your fat old ass would eat them before I got a look at if they were milk or dark. Why are you here?

Rick: To help the moron laying in a bug bed in nothing but his boxers.

Me: I'm captain fucking underpants Ricky old boy. I Must Wear Boxers Only!!!

Rick: Good to see you haven't changed much. Will you get off the bed looking like that and open the god damn door.

Head shaking from Rick and I'm standing on a pile of dust with one hand in the air in my boxers. Good times good times.

<=======Opening the Door=======>

Rick: Good to see you with a shirt on for once.

Me: I can always take it off if you miss the sexy bits baldy.

Rick: No captain abless.

Me: I know you been looking.

Wink. I can hear it now, why are you so perverted Jason? Why are you so mean to your old trainer Jason? Why do you talk to yourself Jason? Why do you lay in a old ass house in nothing but your boxers Jason? Damn, why you people asking so may questions. Oh look Rick found my scotch and the couch.

Me: I just realized.

Rick: So did I. I realized how much of a pain in the ass neck and head you are Jason.

Me: You came back for my helicopter. They all come back for the helicopter.

Rick: I don't like looking at your sexy bits Jason.

Me: I'm not talking about swinging my shit around for you Ally would flip a bitch if she knew I did that for anyone but her.

Wink. Now to go pull out the helicopter that would always piss off Rick. It sprays water yeaaaaaaah.

Rick: I came to help you with your match Jason.

Me: My sister dumps you and you think you can crawl back? No Rick it doesn't work like that. You broke my heart you bastard! You think you can get back under my wrestling belt. Well I have got something to tell you mister! I am independent so fuck you.

Oh yeah the sound of gay was strong. Stare of hate. Oh shit. If looks could kill I died more than once with that look.

Rick: Well if you don't need me then.

Me: I could always use someone to make fun of.

Rick: Coming from the man who is still running around in Sonic the Hedgehog boxers.

Me: Hey! At least they aren't my little pony. Have you ever seen a bronys junk in my little pony boxers? I thought seeing you in briefs gave me fucking nightmares.

Rick: What man did you see in- never mind I won't ask. Have you even started worrying about the match?

Me: Nope.

Rick: Why not?

Me: Well I have a new girlfriend who has needs and her needs match my needs so we take care of our needs a lot lately. Manders is on her girl time 24 fucking 7 now that shes gone all scream on everyone. I have two people here who would love to stick my dick in a blinder. So someone who reminds me of a worm thing under a microscope is the last scary thing on my list. But don't worry Ricky I've been training the past week.

Rick: For once? With who?

Me: Alexandra Callaway and damn I never knew how much fun being pinned by that woman could be.

Look of discussed. Oh yeah that kind of wrestling my friend. Take it in and just picture that vividly in your little brain.

Rick: Well I've been here almost a hour and already I regret seeing if you needed help.

Me: Do I look like I need help?

I saw as I stand in a white shirt and Sonic boxers while holding a beer and having a blunt in my mouth. Yes this is the Jason Rider.

Rick: Want me to answer that?

Shit. He's living to the door! Quick active smartness remark Jason!

Jason: So uh you still want to help me with this match? Enigma looks more of a diamante than a submissive.

50 shades just flashed in my head. So much for Smartasss. No Enigma will not be your fucking Christian Greyy but you sure as hell can be submissive like Anastasia. Makes my job that much easier and I just realized I used a womens porn book for a joke. Good thing we all know Jason Rider does not read he listens. Thank you Manders for reading out loud!

Rick: Lets go to the gym.

Jason: Right behind you old buddy!

Out the door.

Rick: Jason go put some pants on!

Jason: After I put some pants on.