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Dr. Zero · **11-27-2013, 11:45 AM**

Dr. Hero sat alone in his office, attempting to crack open the artifact he had stolen from Dr. Zero only days prior. The artifact had already proven itself capable of performing numerous functions for Dr. Zero. Mind control, portal summoning to other dimensions, utilizing ancient Nazi superweapons.

Speaking of portals…One opened right over Dr. Hero's head. Dr. Hero expected it, however and quickly opened one of his own right under it. One of Dr. Zero's plummeted through, screaming. Dr. Hero hadn't even thought of where the second portal went…Minion Number 67 landed right in the middle of Talladega, Al, but that's another story.

Suddenly another portal opened immediately behind Dr. Hero. A flood of Minions rushed in and attempted to seize the pigeon-headed impostor. An epic brawl ensued until there was a knock on his office door.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

The Minions stopped, and Dr. Hero tilted his head as he peered at his door. He glanced back at the Minions and approached it, cautiously.

"Who's there?" Dr. Hero asked.

"Impending," replied a voice on the other side.

"Impending who?" asked Dr. Hero, completely oblivious to how knock knock jokes worked.

"IMPENDING DOOM!" Dr. Zero kicked the door open, sending Dr. Hero hurtling into the gaggle of Minions. They all tumble over. Dr. Hero quickly activates a control on his wrist that surrounds him in a protective bubble-like forcefield.

He reaches for the triangular artifact, but the bubble knocks it off the table. Dr. Zero laughs and lunges at it, himself.

Dr. Hero dives and sends Dr. Zero sailing with the force of the bubble. The entire time, Minions are punching and kicking the bubble to no avail.

Dr. Hero, seeing that Dr. Zero is still attempting to regroup after being sent flying across the room, charges full speed into the horde of Minions. They bounce off of him and one another and go crashing through the wall. All of Dr. Zero's Minions involved in the attack plummet to the pavement below.

Dr. Zero shouts a command into his wrist communicator. "NURSE X, BRING ME THE BAT!"

Dr. Hero, again, cocks his head to the side. In less than 10 seconds, Nurse X rushes through the door with a small wiffle ball bat. Dr Hero laughs. Dr. Zero flips a switch on the side of the bat causing it to grow to a comically large size. He stands and swings wildly at Dr. Hero.

The bat connects with the bubble and sends Dr. Hero flying out over the horizon. Dr. Zero takes a lap around the room making crowd noises and congratulating himself. Nurse X meets him back at his starting point with a chest bump.

The moment has arrived. Dr. Zero walks victoriously over his prize. The ancient, triangular plot dev…err…artifact. He lifts it from the ground, dusts it off, and returns it to his coat pocket.

He puts his arm around Nurse X, and the two teleport back to his laboratory.

Once there and after enough time had passed to cool down from the days events, Nurse X approached Dr. Zero in his office.

"Uhcuz muh, suh. Duh uh suh wuh Tunuh Suntush sud ubuh uh?"

"What? That drunken fool dared to address ME!? Me, The Great Dr. Zero!?"

"Uh, suh. Uh bruht thuh tuhp."

"Thank you, Nurse X. Please, place it in the VCR."

Nurse X takes a tape and places it in Dr. Zero's VCR. The TV comes to life with the face of Tony Santos. A whole lot of passive-aggressive defensiveness was thrown out about ESP carrying him through the Lethal Lottery Tournament, which was true.

But then, Dr. Zero heard it. "Fluke."

Tony Santos had called the greatest mind in the history of history…A fluke.

Now, if Dr. Zero had been called a chicken, he could understand the confusion. But he bore no resemblance whatsoever to a parasitic worm or a fish, so Mr. Santos MUST have been calling him lucky.

"Luck," thought Dr. Zero, "had absolutely nothing to do with it."

Dr. Zero flipped over his desk, sending his lamp crashing to the ground. He began pacing back and forth across the room.

"Fluke? FLUKE!? THAT ALCOHOLIC NEVER-WAS CAN'T WIN BIG MATCH BASTARD excuse my language HAD THE GAUL TO CALL ME 'A FLUKE'!? Forgive my boisterousness, Nurse X. It just…It just upsets me so, do you understand? Ever move I make, EVERYTHING I DO is carefully thought out and reasoned. I am a man of SCIENCE! The outcome of the Lethal Lottery has already been decided! It's already won! The Egyptian Snow Pharaoh and I, DR. ZERO walk out as winners. Tony Santos and that very talented, very fashionable partner of his, Mr. Idenhaus, will lose. The numbers do not lie! Let me look over them again. Nurse X, hand me your clipboard."

Nurse X walked over to him and did as requested. Dr. Zero examined the papers and then pointed as if he had found exactly what he had been looking for.

"HAHA! HERE! You take your 33 and 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance, and you've got an 8 and 1/3 chance of winning. But then you take my 75% chance of winning…WAIT! NURSE X, WHY ARE YOU TRANSCRIBING SCOTT STEINER PROMOS! I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT BEHAVIOR! HE IS A PLEBEIAN!"

Dr. Zero tears that sheet of paper into pieces and tosses it across the room. He continues to examine the paper.

"AHA! Here it is! According to my calculations, Team Snow Zero has a 141 and 2/3rds chance of GODDAMN IT, NURSE X!"

He tosses the clipboard at her, hitting her in the side of the head. Nurse X grunts and picks it up, removing herself from the room.

"COME BACK IN AN HOUR WITH A PUPPY FOR ME TO ASSAULT, NURSE X (#heel)! I cannot go into the match with this much blind fury. I must exorcise it somehow. AND BRING ME THE JUICE!"

'The juice' of course, being either a Sprite, the pink concoction he injected Egyptian Snow Pharaoh with to increase her combat abilities, or a combination of both.

Dr. Zero would prove that he was no fluke. There is no such thing as luck. One of his many mottos.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Scott Steiner, Tony Santos, and Dr. Hero are all plebeians
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