LIVE FROM GRANDWEST GRAND ARENA CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA
KIERAN KING
- vs -
MARK FLYNN
DICK POWERS & LI'L JUICY
- vs -
DA BING BONG TWINZZ
DARCY GRAVES
- vs -
JULIANA MENDOZA
KEVIN MEARS
- vs -
JAMAICAN JIMMY
MYRA RIVERS
- vs -
CHEYENNE FIER
SIERRA SILVER
- vs -
"THE" JESSICA ANDERSON
HOMER 'THE HUMANOID' SAPIEN
- vs -
OLIVER TAYLOR
- vs -
JACKI O'LANTERN
- vs -
THRAX
The Rise of the Machines!
The brand new CamBot drones (the CamBot Humanoid Autonomous Photography Protocol Intelligence Engines - or CHAPPIES) have been set loose in District 9 by Elon Musk! Their safety settings have been overriden for eight dollars a month and our Death Matchers will have to survive their onslaught AND defeat one another in a grueling field of combat to be declared the new Lord of Violence!
"THE VIP" CHRIS MOSH
- vs -
MOLLY BARNES IDL Placement Tournament - Round1!
JOSSLYN SPENCER w/ Jason Cashe
- vs -
HOLDEN ROSS IDL Placement Tournament - Round1!
HIDE YAMAZAKI
- vs -
LEXI GOLD
IDL Placement Tournament - Round1!
VITA VALENTEEN
- vs -
"SPOILED" SUMMER PAGE
IDL Placement Tournament - Round1!
2 BROKE CHICKS
- vs -
THEMIS PALAESTRA[/mad]
Hello everybody, it’s your hottest source for all things XWF and Madness, Marv ‘The Mouth’ Smegma! We’ve got news regarding the brand new LFL football league, as well as some RED HOT gossip on the Equatorial Championship right now on the line… Don’t forget to check with me, Marv Smegma, for all your backstage news and gossip… call me NOW! $2.99 for the first minute, 99 cents each additional minute!!!
[mad] PRE-SHOW DARK MATCHES:
Mini Morbid defeats Li’l Caesar in a non-title match Via Referee Stoppage (Match Time: 2:11) - Mini Morbid then insists he is the true Minis Champion and that he never lost the gold.
Claire Rogers defeated Le Papillon Via Ridiculously Strong Clothesline - (Match Time 1:04)
Darren Dangerous def. Big Preesh Via Dangerous Driver (Match Time 4:19)
Pre-Show Main Event:
P.W.T. def. Mad Rhymes Via Deep South Drop (Match Time 5:33)
[/mad]
Bath! Welcome to another hard-hitting episode of XWF MADNESS! We are on the final leg of our Prime Meridien Tour, here in South Africa! How about the incredible reception from the folks here in Cape Town?
Such an awesome part of the world, Jac! I’d move here if I could understand a word these guys are saying… they keep telling me it’s English but I just don’t think that’s true!
It’s just an accent, Bath… just like that awful Southern drawl you have!
I’m from Minnesota, what are you talking about?
Could have fooled me! Either way, we have a jam packed show tonight - nearly a dozen matches, mostly one on one! The XWF Universal Champion is here, Bath, and he’s going on FIRST against Kieran King, another XWF legend in his own right! What a night! I can’t hold this show up any longer so let’s just get right to it!
VS.
The first, frenetic strums of Faith No More's "Gentle Art of Making Enemies" rips through the arena as strobes of gold and white cast across the stage and crowd. After several moments, and then a few more for good measure, Kieran King eventually saunters onto the stage, smugly mugging for the audience. In a flash, he sprints towards the ring and glides underneath the bottom rope - practically hovering off the mat. Keeping his momentum going, King darts towards the corner post and leaps towards the top. He crouches, and throws his arms up and back as if to backflip off the top... only to pull out at the last minute. He laughs at the crowd, mocking them as he settles into some pre-fight stretches.
Comes out in a dazzling blue robe. Across the back, it says "King of the Midcarders". He has no expression and makes no eye contact with his opponent. When the bell rings, he shifts gear and a snarl comes across his face - but he DOES carry the prestigious top title in all the land, the XWF Universal Championship!
[mad]DING!
Neither man is in a hurry to get the match started as they begin a slow pacing of the ring in a circle around each other. Flynn makes the first move, stepping towards King for a lock-up, only for King to retreat away towards the ropes. The ref orders King out of the ropes only for the process to repeat itself again. Flynn doesn't show much emotion, but behind the ref's back, King smirks. With an extra skip in his step, King almost dances towards Flynn again and the two actually lock up. They jostle back and forth in the center of the ring, before suddenly the grapple is dropped and King has nimbly slipped out of the ring. He complains about something made up to the ref, who sees right through the shenanigans and begins a count.
Flynn doesn't wait for the count to continue. Sliding out of an adjacent side of the ring, he makes his way around ringside in pursuit of King who, upon spotting Flynn, immediately slides back in the ring and puts distance between the two. Flynn continues to follow but King slides back out the other side, mocking Flynn as the ref begins another count. Trying to get out to King, Flynn is stopped by the ref from taking the direct route only to again take a side path. Once more, this gives King an opportunity to escape from Flynn back into the ring, toying with the XWF mainstay.
When Flynn tries to get back into the ring, he's finally met by King who begins stomping on him as he tries to rise from the mat. Flynn perseveres and pushes up, to which King responds by again bailing from the ring. This time, however, Flynn can predict the pattern and drops to the ringside right on King's heels. He clubs King in the back and gets to work brawling with King around the ringside area, keeping his opponent back-pedaling. A quick poke to the eye halts Flynn's momentum and King escapes once more into the ring. Flynn again follows after only to be met by King… yelling at him to stop?
Flynn furrows his brow at more distracting behavior from his opponent. King actually takes the time to thank Flynn for obliging him, puzzling Flynn further when he asks for a do-over. He motions to lock-up once more, and Flynn shrugs, before aggressively latching onto King - the two locking up again. After tussling on the spot, Flynn rapidly snaps King's arm down and flicks him over with an arm drag.
King seems more embarrassed than hurt, and Flynn rubs salt in the wound by beginning to chide King and explaining to him exactly what he did… and how to counter it with a handspring? What the hell is going on here? King quietly fumes, but eventually nods along before calling for a do-over yet again! Flynn gives him a mocking thumbs up and once more the two men lock horns in the center of the ring!
Arm drag from Flynn again. King handsprings out of it just as Flynn suggested, but it was all a ruse as Flynn is waiting with a lariat. That King ducks! A Pele Kick smacks Flynn in the head and drops him to one knee! King stands over Flynn and proceeds to turn the tables on Flynn, explaining to him exactly what he did and how to counter it, which basically boils down to "when I go to kick you, don't put your face in the way". Jesus Christ, what the hell.is this shit?
As is well-established, Mark Flynn has no chill. Not taking the mockery in stride the way King did, Flynn snaps into business mode and takes his foe down with a double leg takedown. Smothering King with his body weight, he proceeds to slide across King's body and transition to an armlock with King on the ground. Flynn clearly has further plans and tries to tie King up further, but the slightly smaller man continues to wriggle, making it difficult to lock anything in. Eventually King wriggles from a supine to prone position, and Flynn settles for a front facelock that he can wrench upwards on. King tries to pull at Flynn's hands and tries to push upwards to his feet. This continues for a couple of minutes until eventually King breaks free.
Flynn continues to be all over King, taking him down again and trying to lock something in on whatever limb or joint that comes in front of him. King continues to fight, unable to match Flynn's technical prowess, and scrambles towards the ropes for a breather. The ref enforces it and King clearly shows signs that Flynn is getting under his skin.
He darts forward to begin another exchange but as Flynn tries to read his momentum, King cartwheels to the side and winds up directly behind Flynn. He gently rubs Flynn's head to try and rile him up again. It works. Flynn charges. An arm drag from King bounces Flynn across the ring. Flynn responds to King's advance with his own arm drag that King handsprings out of once again. The lariat that follows is ducked once more, but King never gets a chance to let off the Pele Kick. Flynn reads the play and grabs King by the waist. German suplex. King flips out of it. A German of his own sees Flynn roll through. King's seated while Flynn is on his feet, and King then ducks a swinging kick. Kip up and sidestep, pushing Flynn towards the ropes. Flynn rebounds and leaps over a bent-double King looking for a sunset flip. King rolls through just as Flynn did and Flynn ducks a swinging buzzsaw kick just as King did. Arm drag. From Flynn. From King. Headlock takeover from Flynn. King bridges. Flynn repositions but King floats out. He rolls to his feet. Standing moonsault. Flynn barely gets out of the way and King barely gets his feet under him. Flynn dropkicks. King bounces backwards. Superkick from King dodged. Flynn grabs King from behind and lifts him up into an atomic drop position, but at the summit King spins into a hurricanrana that flips Flynn over. Both men to their feet and they move forwards. Both men stop. Stalemate.
Despite neither man being particularly endearing as far as the crowd is concerned, they actually pepper the two with applause. The look on Flynn's face shows he wasn't quite expecting King to keep up like this. The look on King's suggests he didn't think Flynn would have much gas left in the tank after Bad Medicine last night. Both men take time to regroup and reassess their strategy.
King moves first, trying to take a page out of Flynn's book with a double leg takedown. A stronger grappler, Flynn is able to shift his weight and defend against it. He snaps King over with a snap suplex and floats over to grab the arm again. Flynn continues to work King's arm, slowing the pace down and taking away King's greatest strength in the process. King does what he can to stop the pain, but Flynn simply switches limbs and instead starts focusing on King's legs. Keeping King in place he stomps on the legs which causes King's arms to pop up behind his back, and Flynn quickly snatches them and hoists King up into a surfboard. King refuses to quit.
Flynn lowers King down again, and brings him to his feet. A small package out of nowhere from King nets a quick 2 count but doesn't really look to bother Flynn as he gets right back to work trying to dissect King. He whips him into the corner and starts kicking at King's legs, taking him off balance. King staggers away and Flynn hops off the second rope swinging around into a dropkick that drops King to the mat. He follows it up with a belly to belly suplex that nets a 2 count.
King rolls away from Flynn, using the ropes to find a reprieve. As the ref forces Flynn back, King pulls himself to his feet on the apron. Just as Flynn pushes the ref to the side, King springboards onto the top rope and collects Flynn with a crossbody for 2 count. The momentum shifts in King's favor as he kicks Flynn in the gut while he tries to get himself to his feet. Flynn flips over and King sets in motion, bouncing off the ropes and dropping onto Flynn with a Rolling Thunder. He covers for 2 again, clearly trying to put the match away as quick as he can now.
Flynn kicks out and King continues to press him. A swinging kick sends Flynn back to the corner where he tries to get up but King is on him with a series of swinging strikes to the midsection that eventually put Flynn back on the ground and resting against the bottom turnbuckle. King runs across the ring and connects with a knee to Flynn's chin, and again tries to cover him but only nets 2. King complains to the ref to no avail.
As Flynn rises once more, King darts forward but Flynn hits him with a powerslam, getting a 2 count of his own. They begin to trade moves. A slingblade from King. A neckbreaker from Flynn. A hurricanrana from King. A belly-to-back suplex from Flynn. Each move is followed with a pinfall attempt as the pace increases once again. King eventually scales the top rope and leaps off for The Crown. Flynn punches King in the gut mid-air and then pulls King in and hits The End! Almost a three count and Flynn can't believe it! King kicked out of his finishing move and thoughts immediately go to whether or not Flynn was able to execute it with precision or if he is still battling the effects from his PPV match.
Not only that, but King is still moving! He crawls towards the edge of the ring and reaches for the bottom rope to help himself back to his feet. Flynn yanks him by the leg back into the center of the ring, but King twists in midair and catches Flynn off guard with a headscissors. Flynn flies towards the corner collecting it with his shoulder, and crouching into it serves as a good springboard pad for King who staggers to his feet, runs and jumps off Flynn's back and drops down with an elbow on him. He pulls Flynn further into the ring then scales the turnbuckle for a picture perfect moonsault that nets a 2 count.
With Flynn having unleashed the biggest move in his arsenal already, and having competed in a grueling match on a different continent just the day prior (and with time zones not in his favor at that), Flynn finally seems to be losing a step and King takes over. A few sharp stomps gets Flynn moving to try and escape them, letting King unload a shotgun dropkick that rattles Flynn. King lines him up again and drives a knee into Flynn's temple, and Flynn is both literally and figuratively on the ropes. King keeps wailing on Flynn, with the two moving around the ring with King as the constant aggressor. Eventually pinning Flynn into one corner, King positions him into the turnbuckle with his legs wide open, and aims to kick Flynn square in the groin with the Crown Jewels but the ref intervenes at the last minute and cautions King. This gives Flynn half a moment to push past the referee and gouge at King's eyes.
King staggers back and Flynn charges. King dodged and Flynn just barely escapes fro crashing into the turnbuckle again. King charges and Flynn dodges, continuing the monkey see-monkey do approach of the match, where both men seem to keep evolving their strategy. Speaking of which, King is prepared for the dodge! He bounds.up to the top rope and flips off with a Whisper in the Wind. Flynn pulls the referee into the way! Ref bump! King realizes what has happened just as Flynn grabs him. Logical Conclusion! Countered into the Crowning Achievement! There's no ref to make the count!
The audience counts to three but Mark Flynn can take all the time in the world to recover because he telegraphed the direction things were going and pulled the ref into the line of fire! King gives up the pin attempt and tries to wake the ref. He doesn't see Flynn trying to come to! Running knee! Northern Lights! Riparte! King was successful in getting the ref to stir, and now is being counted down himself! Only a 2 count!
Flynn looks delirious as he clambers off of King. He pulls King up and goes for The End once more! King has it scouted! He flops down in the suplex and lifts Flynn up instead. F Ur Head brainbuster! That then leads to King scaling to the top rope and flipping off with the King Maker! Flynn gets knees up and destroys King's back! Without getting up he transitions to a Fujiwara armbar! King fights! He rolls through and into his feet, pulling Flynn through. Crowning Achievement! Cover! Flynn just kicks out before 3! And pulls King straight into the Fujiwara Armbar again! King can't break free as Flynn has all of it locked in! By fortune, King's foot grazes the bottom rope and he reaches out with his foot more deliberately forcing the break.
Flynn lifts King up but is taken by surprise with a small package! 2 count! Another slingblade puts Flynn down again to build momentum for King. He signals for F Ur Head again - no doubt looking to follow with the King Maker. He lifts Flynn up. Inside Cradle! King kicks out! But at 3.1! It's not in time! King immediately complains about a fast count but it's to no avail! Mark Flynn snatches the match with an inside cradle out of nowhere!
WINNER - MARK FLYNN!
Match Time: 26:33
[/mad]
What an amazing match, Bath! No wonder these two asked for no time limit when they discussed the challenge with General Manager Tula Keali’i… that went nearly half an hour of non-stop action!
More importantly, the MADNESS talent, Kieran King, was absolutely robbed! That count was absolutely quick!
I don’t know about that but what I do know is we have set the tone for Madness tonight and it is INCREDIBLE!
The next thing seen is a twirling red cane before the camera pulls back, and finds it in the hands of a new addition to the Madness roster. That would be Kevin Mears, already dressed for his match in a jacket and dripping red heart-shaped sunglasses and purple hair.
Kevin; So tonight’s the night! Yours truly makes his XWF in-ring debut against some jackass named Jamaican Jimmy. When Summer told me about the kind of talent I could expect by coming to XWF, I never heard her once mention anyone named Jamaican Jimmy. Name never came up. Wasn’t mentioned. Never spoken, and this is who they decided to put in the ring against ME in my debut here?
He glances off camera for a second and shrugs his shoulders before he continues.
Kevin: That’s fine by me. I mean they paid me a lot of money to come here, and if they think this is the best use of that money, I got no problems with that. There’s never been an opponent I was afraid, a lot I’ve never heard of, but never afraid. You see, I came to XWF to be what I am everywhere I go: a champion. Everywhere I go, I find two types of talent. The ones up here…
He points his cane upwards.
Kevin: That’d be where you find me.
Then he points it towards the floor.
Kevin: And that’s everybody else. I was born on third base and already hit a triple. And tonight as I begin the climb up the ladder of this company, I will show all of you watching and especially this Jamaican Jimmy moron why I am everything I say I am. I’m your girlfriend’s favorite wrestler. I’ve got more charisma than anyone you can think of in this business. And just like when I play poker in Atlantic City, I’ve always had and been the Ace.
He started grinning now.
Kevin: So XWF, you signed the check. You brought the man who talks loud and knows how to draw a crowd to Madness. When ol’ Jimmy wakes up at the end of the match and finds this…
He holds up one of his personalized Ace cards.
Kevin: You’ll ask the referee what happened. And he or she will tell you that you just got your punk card pulled by the only Ace in a deck full of jokers. And there’s two things you can do about it…
He slips the card into his jacket pocket and continues twirling the cane.
Kevin: Nothing and like it!
The show cuts away after that.
VS.
Jamaican Jimmy PIMP walks out to the ring with a fat joint in his mouth. He puts it out on the ring steps and looks into the camera… his eyes look BAKED.
He gives a smile and a peace sign and then goes into his corner to wait.
The opening lyrics of "The World is Spinning" by DMAD begins to play as a strobe lighting effect begins at the entrance. When the song hits its normal tempo with DMAD rapping, that's when Kevin appears in the entrance. Wearing a leather jacket with heart-shaped red glasses and a cane twirling in his hand, he looks behind him before he's joined by Summer Page. She takes his hand before they head towards the ring. Kevin opens the ropes for her, enjoying the view as she bends over to step inside before joining her.
RA: Hailing from Atlantic City, New Jersey and weighing in at 175 lbs...and accompanied by Summer Page....this is KEVIN MEARS!!
He heads to the corner followed by Summer. They share a kiss before she steps out to ringside in his corner.
[mad]DING!
The match begins! Jamaican Jimmy seems to have a confident look on his laid-back face as he swaggers over to the center of the ring, beckoning Kevin Mears over. The size difference is readily apparent as Jimmy has the rare advantage in that regard. He tries his best to intimidate Mears, but seems to be going an unorthodox way around it as he sways his hips around and around, and is he... rapping?! Mears seems to be going along with the flow for a brief moment, bobbing himself up and down as well... BEFORE HE RUNS IN AND HITS A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!
The offense quickly doesn't let up as Mears takes control with his own confident grin. A Pele Kick floors Jimmy, followed by Mears running the ropes for a Penalty Kick as Jimmy tries to sit up! Mears poses and mouths off to the crowd as his dazzling kicks and offense leaves everyone 'oohing' and 'ahhing' after each strike.
However, Mears taking the time to showboat gives Jimmy a chance to keep getting up, again and again. He doesn't stay down, trying to feel the flow of the fans and let him try getting some strikes in before Mears shuts him down. A burst of hope interjects itself into the match as Jimmy manages to elbow his way out of the Call Your Chiropractor (Stump Puller) and shoves him into the ropes - BUT IT ALLOWS MEARS TO HIT THE SEE MY KNEE (Single Knee Facebuster)!
Kevin Mears heads to the top rope, posing one last time for the fans to see... before he leaps! INSIDES OUT (Double diving foot stomp)! He goes for the pin, looking to cap off this dominating performance, and scores the 1-2-3!
WINNER - KEVIN MEARS!
Match Time: 6:12
[/mad]
Poor Jimmy! He keeps getting up every morning, coming to work, and getting his ass kicked! Nice debut from Kevin Mears, though, he looks like someone to watch… plus any man with Summer Page by his side has my immediate respect.
It certainly might be a good time for Jimmy to think about a career change… but not Kevin Mears! He’s a natural! Don’t get comfortable just yet, though, folks - we have another debut for Madness up next… the LFL has gotten rolling and with those sixteen teams comes dozens of new names and faces. One of those is Juliana Mendoza of the San Antonio Cowgirls… Miss Majestuosa herself!
I love the LFL Jacuinde! Hundreds of amazing female athletes every single week… just WOW! I’m a Las Vegas Does man, myself! Your dumb Mexican team SUCKS!
VS.
The lights dim slightly as the screen lights up with the silhouette of a curvy woman. She blows a kiss and bright pink lips come forward with MISS MAJESTUOSA written in gold on the lips. Gold pyro shoots up as "Rabbit Hole" begins to play and the lights start flashing along to the beat rainbow colors as the silhouette begins dancing along to the beat. She runs her hands over her body as the song picks up. When the chorus begins there's a burst of pink pyro right in front of the entrance and as the smoke clears, Juliana Mendoza is there standing in the spotlight. She strolls down to the ring, hops onto the apron, and starts to step over the middle rope, straddling it as she starts to stick her ass out, but then stops and goes under the bottom rope. The fans boo as she blows a kiss towards them, but as her hand goes forward, three of her fingers drop, leaving her flipping off the crowd.
The lights go out in the arena. The screen starts to slowly flicker, as a music box is heard throughout the arena. The lightning then cracks across the screen, the music box is seen on the screen cracked in half. Artemis begins playing, as Green and Yellow spotlights are shone on the middle of the stage. A man in a long trench coat comes out first, stepping through the spotlight. He moves over to the left, as Darcy is seen stepping out into the light, looking out at the fans smiling a bit. She then poses as her father claps. The lights come on, and Darcy begins her walk down the ramp. She grips the chain around her neck, then looks out at the fans scoffing at them, as she passes them up. The music starts to pick up, as Darcy makes it to the bottom.
Darcy then looks into the ring, before she moves over to the stairs she slaps the mat, then turns towards the stairs with her father still in tow. She climbs up onto the apron looking out, then her father holds the ropes open for her, she climbs through them. She then flexes for the fans once more as her father looks over at the ring announcer.
Ring Announcer: accompanied by Ciaran Page, from Dublin, Ireland, weighing in at 126 lbs. She is Darcy Graves!
Darcy then turns around smiling at the person. She backs into a corner sitting down as her father moves to that corner to stand with her. She then passes him the chain, then stands up, lifting herself on the ropes, watching for her opponent.
[mad]DING!
DING!
The match kicks off with our competitors rushing one another, Graves with the power advantage knocks down Mendoza with a lariat; Juliana snaps back up and ducks under an incoming side kick and Mendoza trips Darcy and rolls over slamming her heel into Graves' face and finishing the roll by grabbing her leg and transitioning into a pin which garners only a 1 as she kicks out wildly.
Back on their feet Mendoza has the upper hand taking cheap hits when she sees an opening and trying to focus on Darcy's legs with heavy kicks. Graves grows angrier as the match goes on losing focus and missing attacks but powering through the pain and manages to block an incoming spinning heel kick and goes low to grab a handful of hair and wrenches Mendoza to the mat before quickly picking her back up only to drop her back down with a snapmare, leaving her in a seated position; Graves then hits the ropes, hopping over Mendoza and drops her to the mat with a dropkick and goes for a cover but Mendoza makes a quick exit out of the ring.
Graves paces the mat as Mendoza recovers on the outside but is interrupted by Graves hitting the rope and springboarding off the top rope into a moonsault and collides with Mendoza and the two crash on the mats outside.
The crowd begin to get behind the two as Darcy makes it to her feet first, throws Mendoza into the ring, and follows suit. Back in the ring the action continues, Graves is on the upper hand after a brutal onslaught of corner kicks followed by a powerslam and slowing the pace down with a long sleeper hold which Mendoza manages to get out of by kicking against the turnbuckles and rolls over into another pin attempt grabbing a handful of Graves' tights but to no avail, as Darcy manages to kick out at 2!
The pair then brawl, Mendoza hitting a perfect headscissors DDT and Graves showing off with a picture-perfect double underhook piledriver until the match begins to slow as both competitors appear to have given their all until off the ropes Mendoza hits MAJESTUOSA ESPECIAL, a beautiful tilt-a-whirl crossface that leaves Darcy in agony and primed to tap! After staying in the hold for minutes and refusing to give in, when it looks like she is just about to tap the timekeeper rings the bell!
TIME LIMIT DRAW
(Match Time - 15:00)
[/mad]
Time limit draw!? C'mon Darcy was just about to tap!!!
It looked like she was about to counter to me, these women have some serious fight in them and they sure as heck impressed tonight. But, we know the matches can't go on all night...
I'll agree with impressing, looking forward to seeing more of these two and what I can expect will be a rematch in the future.
Well it’s time for the first of four tournament matches tonight, Bath… the IDL Championship is currently vacant after an injury to Elijah Copeland. Eight competitors are vying to take the third spot in a triple threat at our first birthday show to face Myra Rivers and Sierra Silver, who have both already punched their ticket to the main event. It’s an uphill battle for these eight, but what a story it will be for one of them!
You might as well call it now - the winner is up next! Chris Mosh, the FIRST ever IDL Champ is gonna get his baby back in January. Book it! Molly Barnes should just stay backstage…
VS.
Chris Mosh comes out from the back and poses for the cameramen following him.
He pulls off his sunglasses, folds them, and then hands them toward a young fan in the front row… before pulling them back and handing them to one of the cameramen for safekeeping instead!
Mosh walks to the ring with confidence, barely even checking out the crowd on either side of him the entire way.
Dance Wiv Me blasts out of the speakers, and then Molly Barnes pops out from the back with a grin. She wears an English World Cup soccer jersey and yells “IT’S COMING HOME, INNIT!?!?” before running to the ring at full speed and sliding in on her belly.
She then poses in all four corners and smiles at Chris Mosh before getting into a fighting stance in her corner and waiting for the bell!
[mad]DING!
Right from the start we see a very aggressive Molly Barnes doing everything in her power to keep Mosh off balance.
Barnes is like a pinball in there early, knocking Mosh around and to the canvas repeatedly with big running forearms and side karate kicks!
Molly has Mosh on his heels for several minutes, and finishes a big sequence with the MUGSHOT! Mosh is down and Molly Barnes immediately leaps onto him for a cover, running her feet into the mat for extra momentum… but she only gets a two count!
After that, Mosh manages to turn the tides as a clearly tired Molly Barnes slows down dramatically. Mosh takes control from there on out, continuing to knock the wind from Barnes with repeated belly to belly suplexes. Barnes is sucking wind after a particularly nasty northern lights suplex as well.
After stalking Barnes down and getting her set in the middle of the ring with a big back suplex, Mosh crushes her with a SUPERKICK! Barnes is flattened, and from there it’s only a matter of time as Mosh yanks her up by the hair and pulls Barnes into the MOSHPLEX for a 1-2-3!
WINNER - CHRIS MOSH
Match Time: 6:55[/mad]
I told you, Jacuinde! Chris Mosh is the VIP of Madness for a reason! He held the IDL Title before anyone else for a reason! He’s just TOO GOOD!
He certainly looked it out there tonight! Fantastic win for Mosh, he’ll move on in the tournament - next Madness we will have the semis AND the finals on the same show!
Just more odds for Chris Mosh to overcome! Bring it on!
Cameras cut to the back where Holden is shown somewhere within the bowels of the arena. Around a dozen different men and women, dressed in jeans, black hoodies and balaclavas, are gathered around the Abomination. Holden has no mask on but is wearing a black XWF hoodie and baggy black Dickies. He smirks at the camera while cracking his knuckles.
Holden: Since my arrival here I have won the “Lord of Violence” moniker and, as a testament to that title, a path of destruction follows me. This week, it’s Josslyn Spencer who enters my World. And I know that where she is, Cashe isn’t too far behind.
Some of those behind Holden laugh and he acknowledges them with a nod and a small chuckle of his own.
Holden: Jason, I hope you’re paying attention; no matter how badly I maul your lady, stay outta the way. At most, do your lady a favor and throw in a towel.
One of the crowd gathered behind Holden throws a towel at the camera, covering the lens. We hear the small crowd cheer as we cut back to the ring.
Folks, we are still moving at light speed… up next is a tag team grudge match! Da Bing Bong Twinzz tried to buy their way through the Delta Division, going through partners like they were changing socks! Li’l Juicy and Dick Powers both got a taste of it, and now they have teamed up to get some revenge on the twins!
The Twinzz told me they actually are trillionaires, Jacuinde! Can you believe it? Trillionaires teaming in the XWF!
VS.
Da Bing Bong Twinzz bust out that back stage bitch like WTF and perp slash pimp walk to the RANG. You feel me?
Wearing matching Jaguars jerseys, they each yell DUUUUVAAAAAAAAAAL into the crowd as they pass by, then hop in the ring and bounce all over the ropes, showing off their athletic prowess which is allegedly unmatched by any other human beings, past present or future.
Li’l Juicy comes out onto the ramp, then stops and waits…
The beat kicks in and I Invented Sex echoes through the arena, the crowd cheers and parties! Balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling as Dick Powers saunters onto the ramp with a rose between his teeth and bounces his head smiling followed by his manager Riley Reed who smiles nodding his head to the rhythm. Dick drops to his knees and opens his arms wide, flaunting what he's got to the crowd as his pyro goes off behind him. He hops to his feet clapping, dancing and high fiving fans on his way to the ring. He jogs up the steps and climbs the top turnbuckle singing along to his theme as he poses to his adoring fans.
[mad]
DING!
Lil Juicy starts in the ring with MC C-Munqqquee.
To begin the match MC and Juicy circle one another before getting into a test of strength, Juicy easily takes advantage but C-Munqqquee drops down to his knees and rolls between the towering Juicy's legs, rolling back to his feet C-Munq tries to take down Juicy with a jumping roundhouse which fails miserably as Juicy takes a step back and then goes on the advantage plucking MC up and throwing him back down with ESSKETIT!
Lil Juicy covers but it's broken up by Lil Ca$h App!
Juicy gets to his feet with MC in tow and throws him towards the corner and tags Dick Powers in and the two do a pop and lock as they exchange places. Dick Powers monkey flips Ca$h App out of the corner who bounces out and barely manages to tag in his brother who comes rushing in with a headful of steam only to be quite literally cock blocked by a DICKUS CLOTHESLINE and Ca$h App is dazed
MC C-Munqqquee hobbles back in to stop any pin attempts but is taken out by Juicy with a gnarly big boot! Both Bing Bongs down Lil Juicy calls Dick to go up high and both men climb the turnbuckles and leap off!
Dick Powers landing THE POWERS THAT BE! And simultaneously Lil Juicy hits SPLASH LIKE PIPPEN!
The referee counts both pins at the same time to please the crowd.
WINNERS - DICK POWERS & LIL JUICY!
(Match Time: 4:20)[/mad]
Dominant victory by Dick and Juicy getting payback on those cheapskate Bing Bong Twinzz!
Cheapskates? They both got paid and they both underperformed, I think it's more than reasonable that the Bing Bong Twinzz will be upset about that. Juicy is a crybaby and Dick doesn't even need the money! He just wanted to be involved!
I think that hair dye has seeped into your brain. But you do raise a good point, Bing Bong Twinzz paid Juicy and Dick to team with them, could they potentially pay someone to get some revenge on their embarrassing loss here?
Myra Rivers is backstage thinking about what’s ahead for her while also thinking about what is going on around her as of late. She’s obviously in her calm, collected, confident mood that she generally finds herself in, especially lately since her massive XWF breakthrough back in Los Angeles. She soaks in all that’s taking place as she begins to express her thoughts.
Myra Rivers: Where do I begin? Obviously, so much has been going on with Madness lately. The IDL Championship has been vacated and it’s a damn shame that such a thing happened especially with Elijah Copeland and all. There’s a tournament going on to determine the third spot in a triple threat for the vacant title, one which I’m going to be involved in.
Myra takes a pause. The look on her face does express some skepticism about this.
Myra Rivers: You know, I will be the first to admit that when I got my IDL Championship match, that it would be one on one against the champion. But, it’s going to be a triple threat with Sierra Silver and whoever wins this tournament. Is this ideal for me personally? I will be the first to admit that it’s likely not. But you know, I can only control what I can control. I mean, did I NOT just earn my opportunity by beating what? Like seven times the amount of people in that ladder match? Something to that effect, right? Now, I know I’ve been busy doing my thing. I did just pick up a HUGE one over Josslynn Spencer and all. I’ve been going around the world proudly being a six time world champion here and being a Roulette champion there and making Vegas my town and all of these amazing, wonderful things. But don’t think that I haven’t been keeping an eye on things here in XWF and especially on Madness. Don’t think for a second that I haven’t forgotten about you, Cheyenne Fier. First off, I do want to say it’s finally nice to face someone OLDER than me for a change…
Myra pauses for a brief chuckle before getting a little more serious.
Myra Rivers: All kidding aside, I know I’m not going to just overlook you. You’ve only had a couple of matches here and you’ve won them both. I know you’re coming off of a win against Darcy Graves. I already know that there is going to be a piece of you that is going to be outright pissed at the fact that there’s an IDL tournament going on and it would appear that you’re not going to be involved in it. Hell, I bet that there’s a part of you that may have been upset about not being included in the ladder match that I just won. But see, the way I look at it and this is where I am going to be blunt here ‘honey’, so brace yourself… I don’t think you’re someone that has enough of a fire inside of you, despite your name, to get to the next level. You probably have it on some form when it comes to your physical talent and all, but you seem to be more interested in seducing other people than you are interested in actually making your mark in this business.
This isn’t a fucked up, god damned bordello here, Cheyenne! I don’t know what goes on in that head of yours and I don’t think I want to know. What I can tell you is that I know you’re not seducing ME because sorry hon, that’s not the team I play for. What are you going to do? Seduce the referee to help you win? You’re mysterious for sure, but I don’t even know if that’s in a good way or not. The bottom line is though, I see you and I see someone that would rather use this business as their own personal playground than to actually be a part of it. You could NEVER have the heart that I do for the business that I love. Darcy Graves might be a damn good wrestler that you beat, but Josslynn Spencer is at a higher tier and I just came off of beating her. Not to say that this is a guaranteed win for me, but I know in my heart, a heart that burns with the passion and the flare of a thousand suns for what I do in that ring, that you’re not going to beat me tonight. You don’t have that same solar flare inside of you to step up and beat me. You’re going to try and prove me wrong and you very well can, I get it. But I’m someone on a mission to be the IDL Champion. I’m someone that wants to be the best champion Madness can ask for.
I’m not going to cram your head with all the tales I have over the nearly 15 years I’ve been on the mainstream with the history of adversity I have had to overcome to be the woman and the wrestler I’ve become, but just know that right now I AM at the best that I’ve ever been. I’m more than some “MILF of Madness”... who the hell came up with that name by the way? I’m an ageless wonder, a rebellious vixen defying expectations every step of the way, a fighter, a proud mother, an astute business woman in my own right, someone that KNOWS what it’s like to be a champion…
And when I beat you? You’ll know exactly why I’ve been around the world and attained 22 very damn good reasons why I’ve been as successful as I’ve been for as long as I have…
Myra maintains a determined look on her face as she exits the scene, clearly ready for the battle ahead.
What a show we have seen already, and we are nowhere close to done! Right now we are going to have an IDL qualifying tournament match… and it’s a doozy! Holden Ross and Josslyn Spencer!
It really makes you think about instituting weight classes when you see a pairing like this… Joss Spencer is a perfect ten, Jacuinde, and she’s getting in the ring with the Loch Ness Monster. It’s awful!
VS.
Purple and gold lights start flashing and Josslynn music hits as she walks out on stage with a smile across her face. Jason Cashe also emerges, hooting and hollering and clapping for his Woo-Sah all the way down the ramp.
Joss walks with confidence down the ramp as she walks up the steps and gets inside the ring, Cashe holding the ropes open for her like a gentleman (but also swatting her on the backside once she’s in). Spencer would go to one side of the ropes and strike a pose as Cashe continued clapping and slamming his hands onto the apron outside the ring.
Air raid sirens begin their cries of warning as the arena is plunged into darkness. As they reach their crescendo, and begin their fall, a single spotlight cuts through the dark, illuminating Holden who is standing statuesque, just this side of the threshold of the entrance curtain.
Just like their signal of warning in the real World, in A.W. they are a warning that the “Bastard” is making his way to the ring. When the spotlight first shines on him, he has his head down, chin on his chest and his eyes closed. The sirens begin winding up their pitch for the second round of screaming. He lifts his head and his face is void of emotion, his eyes black pools of nothing, similar to a great white's eyes.
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring; standing at six feet, five inches tall and weighing in at just over three hundred pounds! He hails from San Luis Obispo! He is “The Bastard!” Hoooooldennnnnnnn RRRRRRRRRRoosssssssss!
The sirens are relentless as he strolls down to the ring. He takes his time climbing the ring steps and wipes his feet before entering the ring. He brings his hands together in front of his chest, in a praying position. He then removes the ski mask, chain, and jacket and tosses it out to the ring girl. When the referee attempts to check him for contraband, Holden gently pushes him away and leans into his corner, apparently bored.
[mad]DING!
The early portions of this match are about what you’d expect. Joss Spencer trying to find a way to bring the beastly Holden Ross down so that she can more effectively execute some offense. Unfortunately for her, most of her efforts are in vain as everything she tries barely fazes the big man.
It takes a little trickeration from Jason Cashe on the outside to get Holden in a briefly vulnerable position, as he grabs Ross by the boot when he comes near the ropes. Ross turns to take a swipe at Cashe, who easily ducks away, but it’s enough of a distraction to give Spencer time to climb the corner and hit Ross with a missile dropkick that knocks Ross onto his back!
When Ross rolls to his hands and knees to get up, Spencer drives him back down with THE FUTURE! The curb stomp has Ross seeing stars, and Spencer rolls him over again for a cover - but at two, Ross bench presses the much lighter Josslyn Spencer off of him!
Both competitors are then back on their feet, but a STEAMROLLER from Ross changes that quickly!
With Spencer dazed, Ross is then able to hit a nasty short-arm clothesline onto Josslyn, and then it’s one big H-BOMB that seals the deal, securing Ross the 1-2-3!
WINNER - HOLDEN ROSS
Match Time: 4:25
After the decision, Jason Cashe makes it known to Ross that he’s sick of seeing his face, and Ross decides to take things further than words as he hops out of the ring!
Cashe and Ross go toe to toe at ringside, and Cashe ends up tattooing Ross with a right hand that wobbles the Abominable One before security is able to break them apart!
[/mad]
Joss Spencer just unable to make up for the size and strength difference there, Bath… but I tell you what, it looks like Jason Cashe might be able to handle Ross himself!
Jason Cashe is a valet, Jacuinde! Josslyn Spencer should drop that zero and get with a hero… like me!
Why don’t you jump into the next match, Bath? It’s the Lord of Violence Death Match! You could prove your worthiness!
Nah I’m good.
“Spoiled” Summer Page is on her private jet headed to Cape Town, South Africa and has her phone on Instagram Live. Her boyfriend Kwvin Mears is sleeping on the couch while her bodyguard is sitting in a chair with his headphones in his ears.
“Spoiled” Summer Page: The time is quickly approaching where I am finally going to get the XWF Madness IDL Championship. By this time next week I will be one step closer to getting that championship belt in my possession and I will continue the great lineage that was started by two guys that I think very highly of. Obviously Mosh wants the IDL title back and like everyone else in the world…I get it. Everybody likes to be on top of the world but as we all know the true position of power is meant for people like Chris and I. So the rest of the competitors might as well just stay at home.
Summer grins with confidence on her face.
“Spoiled” Summer Page:Obviously those six who should stay at home probably won’t due to pure ignorance and spite but that is ok. Just remember that if you choose to go that route and play that game then your dreams of becoming IDL Champion will no doubt be ruined. Each and every last one of you will see that when Hide Yamazaki and I step into the ring with each other in Cape Town. Let's face it Hide, you are simply old and past your prime if you ever even had one. Which is why I will easily move past you and into the next round of this tournament. You’ll only be left with your own personal death wish.
Summer blows a kiss at the camera and shuts off her Instagram Live.
HOMER 'THE HUMANOID' SAPIEN
- vs -
OLIVER TAYLOR
- vs -
JACKI O'LANTERN
- vs -
THRAX
The brand new CamBot drones (the CamBot Humanoid Autonomous Photography Protocol Intelligence Engines - or CHAPPIES) have been set loose in District 9 by Elon Musk! Their safety settings have been overridden for eight dollars a month and our Death Matchers will have to survive their onslaught AND defeat one another in a grueling field of combat to be declared the new Lord of Violence!
The South African city is hued in blue. Huge Terminator vibes.
Our competitors are exchanging words as they await the start of the following contest.
Chaz Bobo goes over the rules. It doesn't take long, as there aren't any other than the reveal that tonight's contest is;
ONE FALL TO THE FINISH!
Chaz is the unfortunate S.O.B. assigned to officiate this event in Micheal Graves mysterious absence. Even in his full riot gear, he dreads the start of this insanity. Bobo looks around nervously as C.H.A.P.P.I.E.S. circle around them, filming everything.
The competitors are getting rowdy. Thrax shoves Jacki into Homer! Homer stiffly stumbles into Oliver. Oliver shoves Homer back and decks him with a big right! Thrax and Jacki are exchanging blows.
Chaz has no choice but to call for the bell!
(DING DING!)
AND HAUL ASS TO SAFETY AS THE C.H.A.P.P.I.E.S. EYES SHIFT IN HUE FROM BLUE TO RED!
THAT MEANS THEY'RE DANGEROUS NOW!!!
Jacki has gained the upper hand on Thrax and is bashing his head into a cinderblock wall!
Oliver is stretching Homer "The Humanoid" when one of his arms detaches! Oliver freaks and breaks the hold! Homer grabs his dislodged arm and begins beating Oliver with it!
Thrax and Jacki are back to exchanging blows! Thrax smashes Jacki in the nose with a heavy right hand, but Jacki absorbs all of it and smiles through bloody teeth before smashing his teeth down his throat with an explosive Discus Forearm followed by a DDT!
Jacki quickly makes the cover!
1!
2!!
NO!
Homer "The Humanoid" Sapian breaks the pin up and continues to assault Jacki with his dislodged arm, but Jacki charges to her feet and spears Homer over her shoulder, driving him into one of the C.H.A.P.I.E.S. Jacki hammers away on Homer as the C.H.A.P.P.I.E.S. wiggles around beneath them until finally dumping them to the ground! The C.H.A.P.P.I.E.S. grabs Jacki's foot, but she kicks it off with the other so hard, that it's head dents in and sparks fly!
Oliver Taylor has Thrax locked in The English Masked Destroyer, but Thrax refuses to submit and is digging in one of his many pouches where he eventually produces a hand grenade!
He shoves it in Oliver's mouth, possible shattering some teeth in the process!
Oliver breaks the hold and Thrax runs away as smoke begins borrowing out of the grenade!
Thrax runs right into a fierce Back Fist from Jacki O'Lantern and eats shit! Jacki connects with No Fucks Given and hooks the leg!
1!
2!!
JACKI IS FORCEFULLY RIPPED OFF OF THRAX BY!!!?!!!
HOMER "THE CYBERNOID" SAPIAN: He's integrated C.H.A.P.P.I.E.S. into his makeup!
Homer hurls Jacki 30 feet down the alley where she lands at the feet of two mean looking C.H.A.P.P.I.E.S.
Oliver Taylor's mask is drenched in blood as he stumbles out in front of Homer "The Cybernoid" Sapian in a shocked daze. Oliver takes notice of Homer, but seems blinded to his new cybernoid bulk. Oliver stumbles in his sprint as he dashes towards Homer. Homer swats him away like a fly.
Suddenly, a grenade lands at Homer's feet!
And another one!!
Oh shit, that's THREE!!!
Homer locks his sights on Thrax who's running circles and tossing nades!
Oh yeah, we need to take a wide angle for this one!!!
As the dust settles, Homer lay in a smoldering mess.
Thrax is strung out over piles of trash inside of a dumpster. His clothes tattered from the explosion.
Jacki stomps the head of the last C.H.A.P.P.I.E.S. caving it like a tin can. Strung out all around her are the busted metal body parts of all of the XWF property Jacki has destroyed. She stomps across the battlefield, seemingly the last man standing. She sets her sights on Homer, whose metal body is fused to the ground!
She moves in for the win, but a figure blocks her path.
She scans her left. Thrax is still out.
She scans her right. Oliver is down too.
Who is this?
The figures eyes glow bright red as steps into the light and aims an assault rifle at her!
Jacki takes a hella lot of shots to the everything!
She drops as the Terminator moves in to inspect it's kill.
As it does, Jacki springs to life, leg sweeping the hulking machine to the ground where she prys its head from its body!
Jacki stands up and inspects the welts from the hundred or so rubber rounds she was just hit with.
That's when a revived Thrax attacks from behind like a real heel, but Jacki, still holding the Terminator head, backfist Thrax so hard that his skull dents in under his mask much like the C.H.A.P.P.I.E.S. she stomped before!
Thrax drops like a sack of potatoes and Jacki locks him into The Darkest Hour and waits for him to scream MERCY!
WINNER AND NEW LORD OF VIOLENCE - JACKI O'LANTERN!!!
Jacki has done it again! She’s a multiple-time LOV winner, what is this, three? Four?
She has definitely made a name for herself as the top hardcore wrestler on Madness, Jacuinde… who would have guessed it?
After a brutal match that Jacki O'Lantern was involved in, she is now seen backstage heading straight to her locker room, so she could relax and recover the rest of the night. She finally finds her locker room and goes to turn the knob when a commotion is heard from behind, causing her to stop what she was doing.
"Oh for fuck's sake, how hard is it to get an ice pack that ACTUALLY HAS ICE IN IT?"
Jacki turns around to see a young man with a STAFF shirt on scampering past her, his head hanging low. She traces back the direction that the staff member came from and sees returning XWF star cum Madness newcomer, and former XWF Universal Champion, Kieran King tossing a limp, wet ice pack into a trash can.
He notices Jacki's attention and squints.
"The fuck are you looking at?"
She crosses her arms and looks at him, surprised by his attitude.
"Hey bud, why the sour attitude? If it's regarding what happened to you out there, I'm sorry. Here on Madness, we tend to get a little crazy once in a while. Try being in a death match in every show, but I am appreciative of what I'm given."
"Well bully for you. It's no wonder this place is in the state it's in if people like you are just happy with whatever hand they're dealt. Back in my day, that wouldn't cut the fucking mustard. Mark Flynn's probably going to pat himself on the back after tonight, but I did what NOBODY on this stupid brand had the balls to do, and that's drag the Universal Champion to this piece of shit show and push him to the fucking limit. You'll have to forgive me if I feel that I don't need commiserations from some Halloween clearance sale mannequin."
Jacki always tried to have respect for anyone that she encounters, even if the respect is not shown back. This was one of those cases. She turned around for just a second to let her cat out of her locker room, then picked it up. It hissed upon seeing Kieran, sensing trouble from him early on.
"You know, I've heard these same insults a million times, bud. If only you would see what I bring to the ring each time I go out there, then you would have a difference of opinion. I am more than a girl who loves Halloween and cats. If you would open your eyes more, you would know what I'm talking about."
Kieran looks at the cat in disgust.
"That thing looks like it's diseased."
"I can assure you Kitty Mcpaws is not diseased. He's as healthy as they come. He also makes a good traveling buddy. I'm not sure why he is hissing at you, though. I think he is sensing bad energy around you. Not only that, but he is probably offended by what you have said."
"He's a freaking cat."
Kieran rolls his eyes.
"And you are… whatever it is you are. Walking pumpkin. Deathmatch joke. ANNOYING ME. I'm a goddamn XWF Legend–" (Except he's not.) "–I'm the only former UNIVERSAL Champion on the Madness roster! I deserve applause, praise, parades even, just for appearing on this show. What I don't deserve, is a crazy cat lady, painted up like a goddamn grapefruit, telling me… Jesus I don't even know the point of this? What do you want?"
"You should try working on respect a little, then perhaps people will treat you better. I can help with that. Come with me into my locker room."
Jacki opens the door and goes inside, then motions for him to join her.
Kieran looks her up and down.
"Yeah… this definitely reeks of 'stranger danger'. Or you're trying to come onto me. Either way, I'm definitely getting something shoved up somewhere where I don't want it. Hard pass. Hope I never have to see you again in my life."
Kieran waves, and without a hint of subtlety transitions the wave into a middle finger before turning on his heel and latching onto the nearest staff member to once again bark about trying to get some ice.
She couldn't believe how stubborn he was, but instead of chasing him down, she decided to shut the door and try again next time.
Up next… the IDL tournament special continues! Hide Yamazaki was the number one contender to Elijah Copeland’s gold… now he has to work his way up through an eight-person tournament AND win a triple threat to get his hands on the title! He can’t be too happy about that!
Well would you be!? The man should have gotten a first round bye at least! But, well, we know how that went last time… hey, speaking of, his opponent is Lexi Gold! Irony!
VS.
“5 out of 6” by Dessa plays and Lexi Gold appears from behind the curtain to a chorus of cheers from the crowd. She slowly makes her way down the ramp and gazes out on the jam packed arena before she runs forward to fans at ringside and claps their hands. The Golden Goddess then makes her way up the steps and goes through the bottom rope and taunts a bit before she makes her way toward the center where her eyes remain fixated on the stage as she awaits the bell.
Hide Yamazaki walks out onto the ramp… alone?
He swings his huge chain over his head like a helicopter blade and then roars to the crowd before walking down to the ramp as the crowd claps and chants “WHERE’S JOHNNY? WHERE’S JOHNNY?”
Hide only snarls and holds up the Tarot card of DEATH as he stands on the apron, then enters the ring and stands in his corner with his arms crossed.
[mad]DING!
Hide quickly starts the match by rapidly stalking Lexi down until she is trapped in a corner. Gold ducks out to freedom when Yamazaki charges in for a clothesline, though. This repeats several times until Hide grows tired of the cat and mouse game and bull rushes gold, slamming his beefy shoulder into her midsection and running her back into the turnbuckles before ramming her over and over again until she simply falls out of the ring between the ropes.
Yamazaki follows her out and drops a heavy double ax across her back as he comes down from the apron. He then proceeds to drive Gold into the railing, and then the ring apron, before setting her against the ring post and backing up… Lexi moves away when he runs at her with a shoulder block! Hide hits hard and falls to the floor, grabbing his arm in pain!
Gold kicks and punches at Hide but he struggles up to his feet, his arm just hanging limp at his side… and Lexi hits the STRIKING GOLD kick to send him down onto his knees!
Lexi heads back into the ring and climbs the ropes, standing on the top turnbuckles and watching as Hide struggles to stand once more… POETIC JUSTICE from the top rope down to the concrete floor!
Hide is left laying after his head bounces off the cold hard floor, and Gold has to do nothing more than roll back into the ring and wait for a count of ten… and Yamazaki is counted out! Though he manages to roll in just one second too late…
WINNER - LEXI GOLD
Match Time: 5:33
[/mad]
Lexi advances! What a win for the Golden Girl!
Incredible! Many people favored Hide Yamazaki going to the finals at the very least… but he’s one and done!
There’s only one more tournament match to go tonight, right Jacuinde? Wow!
Yes indeed but before we get to that, it’s time to check on the OTHER two participants in the triple threat IDL final coming up… first up is Sierra Silver taking on “The” Jessica Anderson! Let’s get back to it!
VS.
As our video feed shifts to the ring, “The” Jessica Anderson is already in the ring, doing a little shadowboxing! Looking sharp! Looking quick! Her music fades out and…
(Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I wanna be saved
My song has not been sung
So long live us)
As the music kicks in, Sierra bursts through the curtain with all the energy in the world and a huge smile on her face. She runs over to the edge of the stage and pointing her Minecraft diamond sword prop out into the crowd before returning to the top of ramp and striking a "supervillain" pose. She poses for a few seconds before taking a running start down the ramp, high fiving everyone she can on the way down, going around the ring and back up the other side of the ramo before stopping herself at the top, turning, and skipping down and sliding into the ring under the bottom rope.
(Breaking out of a town called Suburbia
I remember everybody always saying
"Little brat must be crazy
Never make it in our vicious little world"
Still I'm leaving)
Sierra jumps up onto the turnbuckle and points her sword into the air, repeating the process for each corner before jumping down and running laps around the ring before coming to a stop with a hop in her corner, bouncing on her toes and heels as she awaits the beginning of the match
[mad]DING!
With the match beginning, it's a fast and furious start! Sierra Silver and Jess Anderson quickly meet up in the center of the ring, initiating a collar-and-elbow tie-up! Jess Anderson is clearly enjoying a confidence boost after a BIG win on the most recent episode of Anarchy, and she lets that fuel her! It's what allows her to capitalize on Silver's weakness in terms of technical ability, and the two go back-and-forth trading transitions!
Silver manages to get the upper hand though with a JUDO HIP THROW! Anderson sits up to try and recover, but Silver gets on top of her like white on rice! A flurry of kicks to the seated Anderson has her downed, and Silver capitalizes off of it all with a BEAUTIFUL slingshot Arabian Press! Silver goes for the quick pin...
KICKOUT AT 2!
Anderson attempts to battle back into things, hitting a solid dropkick that has Silver reeling. She tries to go for another win, aiming for her with the ASS KISSER (Hip Attack)!
BUT SILVER DUCKS UNDER IT! Anderson goes flying and lands right on her ass, and as she rubs her sore backside while she's getting up, she sees Silver running up-!
GREENHEART (Codebreaker)! That one laid Anderson out! And it allows Silver to go up to the top rope and lines up her target...
SILVER SUN RISING (Swanton Bomb)! Silver goes for the cover!
1...
2...
3!!!
WINNER - SIERRA SILVER!
Match Time: 8:09
[/mad]
And that’s a nice win for Sierra Silver! The quote-unquote villain reminds everyone here at Madness why she is in line for the biggest match on the biggest show of the Madness Brand’s young history!
Geez, just get a room already, Jacuinde! We get it, you’re into Sierra! BARF! Jess Anderson is WAY hotter!
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder my friend… but the fact that Sierra Heckin’ Silver just picked up yet another win on Madness is indisputable fact!
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! But I bet the MILF of Madness outdoes her next!
She REALLY hates that nickname…
VS.
Myra Rivers emerges with a smile as the fans blow up. It’s obvious she has people in the crowd familiar with her career, with one person in the front row holding a sign saying AND FINALLY… MYRA IS HERE!
Rivers saunters down to the ring, slapping hands as the crowd continues to cheer for the SCW star. Unfortunately, most likely due to Bath Saltzmann, she also has to endure a chant of “MILF-OF-MAD-NESS-CLAP-CLAP-CLAPCLAPCLAP” - which just makes her roll her eyes and shake her head.
She gets to the ring and looks across at the official, waiting patiently for her opponent.
The lights go down and then a pair of flaming pyres illuminate the entranceway.
Cheyenne Fier appears, wearing an elegant cloak and looking at her feet as she walks slowly to the ring… and then she throws the hood off of her head and pulls her head back in an otherworldly scream that echoes through the arena!
Cheyenne Fier slithers into the ring and crouches in her corner across from Myra, staring at her with unblinking eyes.
[mad]DING!
The bell rings, and Cheyenne Fier looks to start off strong! She comes out like a house on fire, looking for a big boot, but Myra Rivers manages to duck and roll out of the way! Fier manages to catch herself in time, and cuts off Myra's attempted follow-up with a sharp back elbow!
Fier looks to try taking advantage of things with her power moves. A German Suplex manages to toss Myra out of the ring, and a Bicycle Kick threatens to damn near take her head clean off! But Myra stays in this, and the crafty veteran manages to pick her spots and use them to her advantage. She manages to twist her way out of the Fire Crotch Guillotine before slipping behind Fier and hitting her in the back of the head with a roundhouse! She manages to stomp her way out of a Belly-to-Belly attempt, instead locking Fier in a rolling kneebar!
Fier manages to power her way out though, and THROWS Myra across the ring with a Saito Suplex that drops her on her head! Fier goes for a pinfall attempt...
KICKOUT AT 2!
Fier looks irate! She grits her teeth, now stalking the ref and interrogating him on the count! Her questioning proves fruitless however, and as she turns around... SHOULDER TACKLE BY MYRA RIVERS! It staggers the massive Fier, allowing Myra to line up her shot... VIXEN KICK (Chick Kick)!
Fier bounces off the ropes, clearly groggy from the impact! Being in a lull like that allows Myra to dart in, and she knows what she's got in mind! She manages to hit the SPIRIT BREAKER (Corkscrew Neckbreaker) RIGHT ONTO CHEYENNE FIER!
The cover, now!
1...
2...
3!!!
WINNER - MYRA RIVERS
Match Time: 10:54
[/mad]
And Myra gets it done! What a showing for the legendary Miss Rivers!
That's Mama Bear for you! I always believed in you, Myra! Please call me back! Stop leaving me on read!
VS.
“Spoiled” Summer Page appears with a look of focus on her face.
Heading down to the ring she barely even looks at the crowd as her attention is locked onto the task at hand. She looks like a million bucks, as always, but the determination on display is as impressive as her centerfold-worthy figure.
As the opening riff of "Vampire" by Saint Agnes tore through the arena the crowd jumped to their feet! Vita makes her way down to the ring, slapping hands with her fans along the way. Vita then slides into the ring and postures for the crowd as her music dies down.
[mad]
DING!
The match started off respectful with the two meeting in the middle and slapping hands, before separating and beginning to circle one another. Vita ducks under an attempt to lock up and hits the ropes at speed before coming back at Summer. Summer meets the tempo and leapfrogs over Vita. On the charge back, Summer drops down and sends Vita bouncing back off the ropes once more. Summer then catches her with an arm drag only for Vita to pop back up and return the favor. Vita snaps on a headlock that Summer powers out of, shooting Vita to the ropes once more.
Vita grabs hold of the ropes and waits for Summer to close in instead. She kicks Summer in the gut and then slingshots from the middle rope into Summer with a back elbow. A quick cover only nets a one count.
Both competitors get back to their feet and Vita tries to press the advantage. A series of knife edge chops backs Summer into the corner but the moment that Summer's back hits the turnbuckle she snatches out to Vita and flips her around into the corner, taking control of the match for herself. She drives a few forearms into Vita's body and head and as the vampire stumbles out, Summer drives Vita back into the corner with a shotgun dropkick. Vita bounces to the mat and covers, with Vita kicking out just as the ref's hand hits for two.
Summer is able to keep up the assault. She manipulates Vita's legs, trying to tie her up in the PERFECT TEN! Locking it in for just a few seconds, Vita still has enough wherewithal to scramble towards the ropes rather than directly fight against the pressure Summer applies. The ref forces the break. Vita tries to pull herself up on the ropes but Summer is back on her, slamming her with a scoop slam. She then waits for Vita to stir, and just as Vita begins to pick herself up off the mat, Summer is there with a running meteora. This time, a cover gets a clear two count.
When Summer tries to pick Vita up once more, she is surprised by a sudden small package! Vita gets a two count for her efforts, but more than that, she buys herself some space to get her feet back underneath her. Summer makes another move, but Vita uses a basement dropkick to take Summer's legs out from underneath her. A frantic running bulldog helps shift the momentum back to Vita further and she follows it up with a facebuster before going for another cover and only getting a two count once again!
In control again, Vita whips Summer to the corner. She mounts the second rope and starts laying punches (open-handed of course!) into Summer while the crowd counts along. After the ninth punch, she gestures towards the audience, but that break was all Summer needed to muster the strength to push Vita off. Vita reacts very quickly and immediately bounds back towards her foe with a running high knee that really rocks Summer Page. She seamlessly transitions this into a swinging neckbreaker and covers again. Summer again kicks out, but it's visible that the pace of the match is starting to tire her out.
Seeking to inflict further (legal!) damage, Vita applied a sharpshooter. Summer tries to fight, reaching for the ropes, but Vita is able to pull her towards the center of the ring. She yanks back, increasing the pain for Summer. After a struggle, Summer is eventually able to roll through flinging Vita away. Vita tries to keep up the attack but Summer sees an opening, leaping up and planting Vita with a jumping DDT. A scoop powerslam, followed by the PURE PERFECTION! Vita gets planted and Summer bridges for a cover. The ref gets to two and a half before Vita shoots up a shoulder! Summer is in shock!
Summer then climbs up to the middle rope - the momentum having swung once more in the match. As Vita gets up, Summer jumps off with a spinning wheel kick. Vita dodges and grabs Summer, flipping her over into a bridging German suplex for a two count. Immediately after the kickout, Vita continues the pattern of the match of never letting up as she climbs to the top rope. A diving double foot stomp misses its mark and Summer responds with a cross body when Vita tries to press. Vita rolls through, using that crazy vampire strength to lift Summer up in a fallacy position. Summer snaps down into an arm drag and when Vita gets back up Summer ducks a swinging arm and hoists Vita up for a belly-to-back.
Vita struggles in the air. Eventually, she's able to wriggle free, falling over the top rope to the apron. Summer turns, and Vita drives a shoulder through the ropes into Summer's abdomen. This creates space, giving Vita time to springboard into the ring with EAT DEFEAT dropkick! Summer moves! She kicks Vita in the gut and steps up, looking for the Striking Gold ax kick. Vita dodged and Summer crashes to the mat. Vita pounces and tries to lock her in The Embrace. She doesn't get a chance to lock it in all the way as Summer breaks free. When Vita tries to grab Summer she fights back. Stepping up on Vita once more, she hits the TOTAL KNOCKOUT on Vita and then goes for a second attempt at the PURE PERFECTION, this time with a little more ferocity… Vita's down and Summer gets the 1-2-3!
WINNER - “SPOILED” SUMMER PAGE
Match Time: 11:54
[/mad]
VS.
[/color] Ikura ikura ikura ore no kachi wa ikura!
Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up!
Ikura ikura ikura ore no kachi wa ikura!
Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up!
ANARCHY's "Run It Up" comes on over the PA system as the arena lights dim down, bringing all attention to the lighting on and around the stage. Everyone’s attention is on the entrance curtain when, all of a sudden, an air horn like the one heard from a fire engine BLASTS through the arena. From the side of the stage, a tricked out RV painted white with neon blue accents rolls up. As the opening refrain with Skits Vicious begins, theside door flies open and out comes the 2 Broke Chicks. In name only, of course! There’s some visible laughs of amusement as Jane then turns towards the stage and tries to look serious as she approaches the ramp. On the opposite side of the mood spectrum, Chiaki Sanada gives their ride an adoring pat before scurrying to catch up with her tag team partner.
As the two make their way down the ramp, Jane’s attempt to stay serious is all but lost once Chiaki moves in front of her, just goofing off and throwing random signs at the camera in sync with their music. As the chorus plays, Chiaki starts singing along. The strength of the duo finally breaks into laughter at the little one’s antics and the pair continue towards the ring. Once they reach ringside, Jane comes in behind Chiaki and lifts the crazy little Joshi up onto her shoulders. She makes a lap around the ring itself while Chiaki’s waving her arms from side to side over her head, trying to get the fans to join in. They do, for the most part. Chiaki hops off of Jane’s shoulders and onto the apron. She’s back to throwing thuggish little hand signals as Jane climbs onto the apron. Jane climbs into the ring and stands behind Chiaki who is still doing her thing as they both throw up their actual, personal team gesture. Chiaki finally gets into the ring and the two of them move to their corner, removing their entrance gear and getting in a bit of last minute extra stretching as they get ready for their match.
The Themis sisters slowly enter the area as perfumed air is pumped into the stands. They saunter down to the ring, waving to Atara in her balcony seat above… all three ladies are wearing brand new Toronto Frost tee shirts tied off at the belly.
Desdemona and Agrippina hold hands as they head up the ring steps and enter the ring, smiling to the crowd who are clearly NOT in their corner, except for the college aged dudes since they’re all young, dumb, and full of cum.
Aggy and Des hold their Gemini rings up in the air as they stand in the middle of the ring, then they head to a corner and get ready to go, blowing kisses and waving their booties at their challengers
[mad]DING!
The champs have to play defense from the start, as Chi Chi Sanada is a house of fire from the sound of the bell. Chiaki knocks Agrippina around from corner to corner hitting everything in her bag of tricks along the way. She nails the BOOMSHAKALAK and screams “QUETZALZOATL IN DA HOUSE MADDAFAKKAS!!!” before straddling Aggy on her back and just battering her head with forearm shots.
Chi Chi relents but only long enough to go up top for a falling headbutt… which misses! Des gets the tag after that but barely gets a finger on Chiaki before the little buzzsaw of the LFL somersaults to her home corner and tags her partner Jane in! Jane hammers Desdemona and Des decides to tag her partner Agrippina back in rather than deal with the pumped up Harper.
Aggy doesn’t fare much better, she gets beaten up for several minutes and finally gets nailed with a spinning back fist that nearly puts the lights out on her, but Aggy has just enough wherewithal to hold the bottom rope down as Jane comes at her booking for a roundhouse kick! Jane’s momentum takes her over the top as Agrippina falls to the mat.
The official counts Jane outside the ring, and he never sees when Desdemona enters and rolls Agrippina to her corner, then lays down on the mat in her place! Twin magic! Jane is back in the ring by eight and tries to grab her downed opponent… Desdemona rolls her up! It gets two before Chi Chi hits the falling headbutt on Des to break it up!
Agrippina rushes the ring and grabs Chiaki, tossing her through the ropes in a corner so that her shoulder hits the post hard. Sanada slumps and falls onto the apron as the ref pushes Agrippina back out of the ring. Desdemona lifts Jane Harper for a suplex but Jane slides down her back… CHA CHING!!! Jane hits the death valley driver perfectly but can’t even get the cover before Aggy runs in… and Jane is dropped with PYTHIA’S PYRE!!!
Again Agrippina is forced out of the ring by the official, and she shrieks to point out when Desdemona has an arm draped over Harper! The ref slides into position but Harper kicks out before the count of three!
Des crawls to her partner in the Themis corner, and Jane does the same to her own… but Chi Chi is still in a neutral corner of the apron feeling the effects of being driven into the ringpost. Harper has to meet Agrippina head on, and Themis is all over her in a heartbeat. Harper finds herself getting battered with pankration, the ancient fighting tactics of Greece.
Agrippina lets her control go to her head a bit, reminiscent of the tale of Narcissus. She gets too lax and cocky, tossing Jane Harper into her home corner assuming Chi Chi was still down… but Chiaki Sanada leaps from where she had been lying and makes a tag with Jane!
Chi Chi is explosive when she enters the ring this time, and she blasts Aggy with some high heat, then hits the Themis corner with a hip check to send Desdemona flying off the apron as well!
Chi Chi flattens Agrippina with a falcon arrow and then hits her standing moonsault into a knee drop… she pulls Aggy to her feet and then it’s time for CHI CHI BANG BANG!!! The leapfrog cutter nearly decapitates the Gemini Champion… and Sanada’s not done!
Chi Chi is up to the top rope and she’s giving the signal (gang sign?) for the BLUE SPIRAL!
Oh no! Desdemona slides into the ring and shatters her silver hand mirror over Chi Chi’s skull! Glass splinters everywhere, right into Sanada’s eyes! Chi Chi falls off the top to the apron as the official calls a stop to the match!
WINNER - 2 BROKE CHICKS (DQ)
Match Time: 16:26
[/mad]
The Gemini Champions just went and got themselves disqualified to save their titles, Bath! That mirror nonsense is despicable, Chi Chi could have been blinded!
You call it despicable, Jacuinde, but I call it smart… and everyone is still going to call Themis Palaestra “champions” because the titles do not change hands on a disqualification! BRILLIANT!
How can you defend that? Themis Palaestra should be the FORMER Gemini Champions!
But they aren’t… because they are always one step ahead of the game! I love it! I can’t wait to see what they do next!
Well I know this won’t sit well with Tula Keali’i, and I can’t WAIT to see how she handles this latest black spot on her brand! But… I have to admit, that was a great match until the end. What a Madness!
Just like every Madness! The trendsetter in wrestling! Where are we off to next time, Jacuinde? Back in the tropics I hope!
Absolutely Bath! We’re spending some time on the Equator next… starting with Ecuador! The Equatorial Championship is going to happen real real soon, so there you have it! Come January, we will have a total of FIVE titles on Madness! I can’t wait to see the all-new, reborn and rebranded Trios Champs as well as the first ever Equatorial Champion!
Same here, Jay! Bring us home, buddy!
For my partner Bath Saltzmann and myself, Jacuinde, we will see you next time right here in the Mouth of Madness!!!!
The following 3 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post:3 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post Atticus Gold (12-02-2022), King Kieran (12-01-2022), Mark Flynn (12-01-2022)