The Road So Far


Gravy continues to find himself trapped in a promo, and it's not even a very good one! 



THEN!






A rustling comes out of the trash bag tent. Michael crawls out on his stomach. He is fresh to the day and still somewhat in dreamland. Graves stands up and stretches out his arms with a yawn. A lady walks by, giving him a disgusted look, but she doesn’t get very far! Michael hits that bitch on her ass with a Stiff Lariat!


Coffee goes flying!


"FUCK YOU, BITCH!"


Gravy snatched the coffee out of the air before it hit the ground, deliberately stepping aside just seconds before, and the XWF Cam Drone crashed where he was standing!


"Ain't no fate but what you make! Now! Why the fuck does this keep happening!?!"


Michael opened the lid and drank the coffee quickly, preoccupied with his predicament rather than getting it in his mouth, more of it ends up on him than in him. Michael throws the empty paper cup on the ground, hops into a red Corvette, and peels rubber on his way out of Hobotown, USA


Young Graves: "You seem happy." 


Micheal Graves:"Ah, you're early!"


"And you're in a good mood, why!?"


Gravy cut off some little old lady and ran her off the road. She angrily shook her fist in his rearview and he continued to speed down the highway!


"The Universal championship, man! I told you already!"


"And I told you to simmer your fucking hopes, dickshit! You ain't winning no Uni belt, we been through this before!"


Gravy's confidence was at an all time high, he just grinned and shook his head.


"No way, man! This time it's different! I can smell it in the air, baby!"


Gravy whisked some of that differently smelling air into his nostrils.


"Micheal Graves is about about to beat the yella off that fella!"


Once upon a time, remarks like that were nothing out of the ordinary, tame even, but in today's XWF?


"Keep talking shit like that, and you're going to find yourself canceled again dipshit!"


"Ain't nobody canceling nothin' so long as I'm pulling in viewers, and they're ain't no denying the fact that Gravy's been shaking shit up and making some noise! Once I beat this embarrassment of a champion, nobody will be able to touch me! Ever hear of a fucking Uni champ getting fired for not being P.C. enough!?"


"Not off the top of my head, no, but Gilly was a Uni champ, and he had his shit cut the second Shane-o was out of power! You're right about it being a new day, I'm just sure it's not going to be YOUR day!"


Young Gravy did have a point. While capturing The Universal Championship would considerably raise Gravy's stock in the XWF, and indeed offer some level of protection against the clapback we all know is coming once the XWF Universe becomes reacquainted with our foul mouthed master of the bad take, Micheal Graves; just winning the belt wouldn't be enough.


"Good point! This can't just be some flash in the pan title reign! Don't nobody expect me to walk out of Warfare champion as is. Even when I do, I already know everyone gonna be saying transitional champ and waiting for me to inevitably drop that shit at Relentless."


"Either way, you find yourself again at the mercy of Lane and his games. Can't win for losing! Story of our fucking life, right!?"


Let's get this out of the way now. Micheal Graves has always been a career midcarder. His first run in the company would amount to a short XWF World Championship run and a Tag Team Championship run with his brother Sean Graves, who arguably did the heavy lifting for the team depending on who you ask, Gravy or anyone else. Also, don't get too excited by that World title, it was very much the SuperCon of it's day for the good, not great. 


His second run, and the one that most are more familiar with started off promising enough. A competitive contest with Thad Duke followed by a few wins that would lead to him challenging Robbie Bourbon for the Hart Championship. Micheal did well and even looked to have the match won at one point, but interference by at the time Savage GM Jefferson Jackson would lead to Micheal's defeat and cost him his first chance to hold gold.


"Yeah, sure is..."


Micheal reflects on another time, when he, Robert Main, and Jim Caedus came together to form a stable the potential power of which had not been seen for years in the XWF, only for "circumstance" to drag The Kings, a legendary and powerful grouping of former "Kings of the XWF" which included one Theo Pryce. One week after forming, Micheal Graves and his stablemates would find themselves in a power struggle with The Kings that would end with AX3's self destruction caused by the shattered egos of his former brothers... And perhaps a side of jealousy at how quickly AND well they bounced back while his stock did nothing but sink.


"That AX3 shit and everything after? That was all you though, homie!"


It was true, Jim and Robert both being new to the XWF, looked to Graves to help mentor and guide them through these dangerous waters. Again, you must remember that Micheal Graves was not always a politically incorrect loony toon. 


"I was dealing with my own shit! My back couldn't bear to carry the load of their whiny bullshit on top of everything I had going on!"


His feud with Dolly. The one that led to everyone pegging him as a pedophile. Their claims weren't baseless, Micheal said and did some fucked up shit throughout that feud. It never bothered him though. Well, it did, but that didn't stop him from playing into the stereotypes. Any press is good press, or so they say.


"Oh yeah, I remember! The feud that tanked both AX3 AND US all because YOU were to busy tryin to get your dick wet in the forbidden Waters!"


He wasn't and he didn't. but it's complicated. On one hand, he hated the little bitch for what she had done to his face with that ball bat. On the other hand, she did have a cute ass and I'm not sure he would have said no if the opportunity had presented itself. 15 is legal in some states and he's really not a good dude. 


"I wasn't tryin' to do anything other than win the X-Treme Championship! You know that, ya fuck!"


It didn't matter what he knew, it was what the world interpreted. What the world saw was a middle aged man making sexully fueled threats, going on to kidnap, and finally, savagely beat a minor in the ring. Not a good look. 


Does it help that Micheal is batshit bonkers? Does that relieve him of any of the burden to be carried from his actions? IDK, maybe? Why else would he be here today, challenging for the Universal championship no less?


"Then why'd you keep it up after Dolly dropped the belt to Bearded War Pig?"


"Because I was pissed that she cost me a shot at the title by being so fucking mentally weak!"


Young Gravy didn't believe his older self, and with good reason! They shared a mind!


"Nah, you kept going even after you went and whipped that title back off Pig yourself! You could have left her alone at that point. You had everything you claim you wanted. So why continue? Why go through the trouble of kidnapping her? Why continue to pursue the match, even after she tried to walk away? If it was all just for the title, then why'd you nearly end her career? Admit it, you wanted to smash!"


He did have a point. One that required Gravy to search his body and soul to find the answer.


"OKAY, FINE! I WANTED TO FUCK HER!"


Young Gravy's face went so white, you'd think he had painted it in his vintage skull design. He hadn't. 


"FUCK HER UP! Bitch fucked up my face! Smashed it real good! I had to wear that stupid mask for years!"


"Until the potato fixed us!"


The Golden Potato. The less said about it the better. Let's leave it at this: It was a magical item gifted to him by a maniacal madman who once laid claim to this company. It's assumed that he wished to see what terror and torment Micheal would bring unto the world with this mystical and all powerful item. He used it to help create BOB, and wasted it's power trying to take over that creation. He was left with nothing for his efforts! The thought of it brought a noticeable frown to Micheal's face.


"You sure know how to bring a fucker down!"


The loss of Micheal's potato, and his exile from the Chris Page era of BOB (rumor on the street was that CCP was weary of Gravy's ability to turn into a woman at the time, and feared accidently sleeping with him/her much like the BOB driven plot to frame Vinnie Lane had lead to Lane sharing the sack with ole Gravy once before) left Micheal vulnerable to repercussion, and Vinnie decided real quick that he could have more fun dicking with Gravy's career than straight up firing him, but it wasn't the first time a GM had meddled in his career. 


"Good, stay there and save yourself the embarrassment of falling to Raion Kido's feet and looking like a fucking pussy-ass loser doing it! I don't know if we can handle another Chaos moment!"


He was of course talking about 2017, Micheal Graves first and until now, only Universal title shot. Much like this one, Micheal had gained the opportunity by raising a stink backstage. Unlike this time, he didn't actually ASK for the opportunity, but it was offered when him and the then champion, Chris Chaos, got in a verbal spat while Paul Heyman was trying to announce the updated rankings. It was a silly way to get a shot at the top title. A shot that had eluded him and so many others for so many years prior. As dumb as Micheal may have thought it was, he did make the most of it. Much like today, Micheal went in the obvious underdog with a track record that screamed "short night". In an effort the give the fans something that would resemble a competitive match up, Savage GM at the time Colten Kato would book the match as an Iron Man match. 


Then, adding insult to injury, and showing the world just how little the XWF Universe thought of him, he Colten would declare that Chris Chaos would need to win by 3 falls, OR LOSE! Granted, this was done due to Chaos drawing the ire the GM, Colten Kato, but that would later turn out to be a ruse as well. 


When bell time came, Micheal would turn heads in the industry with his performance and nearly shock the world! At one point Chaos would try to attack Micheal with a chair, but Micheal managed to turn it on him earning a DQ. Realizing the power in his hands, Micheal would deliver a couple of more chair shots to the deserving Chris Chaos and fully give up the three fall advantage while also putting himself at a much bigger disadvantage!


Some might call this act foolish, but Micheal was confident! He had it cinched. Nothing could derail the Gravy Train on this night, and he was right! Chaos and Gravy would battle back and forth on this night, neither giving more than an inch at a time. In the closing seconds, it looked as though Gravy had it! He was in the lead and in full control. 


Enter Colten Kato.


"I'm not getting dicked by fuckin' GM's anymore! I got the Dangerous Daddies to watch my back this time!"


Yeah, that'll do a lot of good. Even Young Gravy's rolling his eyes.


Gravy continued to his destination and with the relative calm inside of the car, this time he took that curve like a champ!




And he makes it to his final destination without incident thanks to the safety and speed of his little red Corvette!













"You are a deep depression!"


Gravy twitches, but otherwise ignores the young one.