Crimson Dong sticks his dong in the blender and turns it on. The blender is rendered diseased and exploded.

DONG: My dong can't be killed. My dong can't be killes!

Crimson Dogma sticks his water balloon in his ass and it pops on the way in. He only ends up shovsine the rubber from the balloon up there.

DONG: John Austin sucked my dong in teh bathdoom and then asked me for a quarter like I'm gonna pay for that shit.

Crimson Dong sticks his head out the window and yells at some little black kid trying to steal his bike.

DONG: Get way from my bike you spic!

He rushes out and does a dong pounce followed by a dong stomp followed by a dong dong.

DONG: You are like John Austin thinking he can steal my gig. He tried exposing himself to a school of fish and they died. He's not the crimson dong! He's the dicky dicky doo doo bitch with the tit for a face! Eisenhower told me that John Austin and the CUMerection are just a bunch of fruit snacks. I guess fruit roll ups but just not as tasty, you know like imitation fruit roll ups. The CUMerection will fail in the main event when the drong raises his flag staff at full and a half mass plus has been working out and dropping acid all week. I'm more prepped than I have ever been for any date unless you count the time I went on a date with Ricky Desmond's mother. She's got dat puss dat puss. Need dat puss.

The Crimescene Dong does a little shake rattle roll boogie and sticks his whole dong and balls into a blender again but this time it's got a Corvette engine. He flips the switch on full blast and PLACOWWWWW!!!! BLWWO OSH SDFIJUOS IU! NDSLKJ OSIJD

His dong is shredded the fuck up, yo. On the real.

He goes to hospital. They no fix.

He goes to voodoo doctor. He no fix, but he put curse on the Dong.

He goes to a mad scientist. He gives Crimson Dong a super metal dong. It is attachment that is super dong itself. He clamps it in place and has all the functionality of a real dong but 6954354 times more powerful like a jackhammer on every steroid on the planet and crack.

DONG: I came out better than I started and now I'm going to march into John Austin's asshole like he had dat puss on his backside. Where's my next hit? Oh it's John's buttpussy. Need dat puss dat puss.

His metal dong breaks the ground and causes a volcumo to erupt.