Scene 1: A memoir, and ducking Mike Tyson


“A Memoir of Gage Gannon: You Too Can Strive to Be an Almost Gage Gannon”

Chapter 1.

Is it Invincibility or Durability??

“What makes Gage Gannon tick?  What drives Gage?  Why is Gage the arrogant little bastard that we are all inclined to hate?  Who knows, maybe my parents left me a shitload of money, and one night we were coming down a dark alley from the movie theatre, and they got shot.

Only this time it wasn’t justice that drove me, but maybe it was the fact that at ten years old they had the audacity not to fight for their life.  Maybe my parents chose the weak way out and decided that in that moment dying would be easier, versus them choosing to fight and to live.

Maybe I have a rage inside of me, that won’t be quenched until I am fully seen.  Maybe I am an attention whore.  Maybe my pod fell from outer space, and I my superpower is to be the vainest egotistical jackass that this world has ever seen…….

That would be the most likely scenario, right?  I mean to come from a means of wealth with some exciting story about how I came into all my wealth.  Sadly, I don’t have that story.  No, see it’s no secret that I am a man of Good Taste and Wealth and I like the finer things in life.  A nice Glass of wine, here and there after a successful day of becoming even more richer, it just titillates me.  

To be honest I’ve never been a man at a loss for words, so when the idea was broached to me to right a book for the common man on how they could become an almost Gage Gannon I was intrigued.  I was riveted.  Now I apologize if my words are all over the place, but you must understand something.  Being an almost Gage Gannon is no easy task.  I mean when you think about all the elements that are needed to make up ME, Gage Gannon, well then, it’s not quite an easily formula.  I guess I could start from the beginning then I suppose.

The first step to be an Almost Gage Gannon, is well you must have money? Now often people ask me how I came into money and the truth be told, my family has it.  Now don’t ask me how my family got the money, I just know that way way back in the olden days, my great Grandfather invested in……….”.

(Gage is shaken from his reverie with a knock on his study door as Giles creeps his head into Gage’s study.)

(KNOCK KNOCK)

Giles: "Sir I know that you told me not to disturb you but...."

Giles is stunned as he sees a pile of papers on the table, and crumpled paper on the floor as he goes over to Gage and picks up a piece of paper...

Giles: An Almost Gage Gannon??? Sir this isn't even proper English.....oh dear lord please don't tell me that this is the name of your memoir sir???

Gage: Do you know the patience that it takes to sit down a put your words on a piece of paper?  Your most inner deepest thoughts?  When you told me Giles about this book deal and tour dates I didn't expect for me to actually have to sit down and right my own memoir....

Giles: What were you expecting sir??

Gage: I was hoping that maybe you would hire a Ghost Writer and  I would just be able to tell them about my experiences....

Giles: Trust me sir, the same feeling, that same oomph is not going to come unless you take pen to paper yourself.  You're a charismatic leader sir, and if for no other reason but to cause entertainment, your book I am sure will be on the best seller list sir.  

Gage looks at GIles wearily, shocked even that somehow his words of wisdom somewhat make sense....

Gage: I guess you are good help to keep around.  Now tell me why do you disturb me, when I clearly told you to mind your own damn business....

Giles; Uh SIr,,,,he's on the phone......

Gage turns around and looks at GIles confused as he doesn't know who he is talking about.

Gage: Who the hell are you talking about?

Giles: Sir...Mike Tyson is on the phone and he wants to speak to you.

Gage's eyes get wide as he gets up and starts pacing back and forth....

Giles: Sir, are you ok???

Gage: OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! No I'm not fucking ok you nitwit. Did he say that he was on his way?

Gage gathers his papers of his memoir and shuffles him to one side of his desk as he paces back and forth nervously starting to sweat.....

Giles: Sir, he's on the phon.....

Gage: You don't understand.  I owe this man money.

Giles: Well how much money do you owe him??

Gage: I made a twenty five dollar bet that he could punch me and he wouldn't knock me out....

Giles: Wait....wait....wait......you bet $25 that you could withstand a punch from Iron Mike Tyson???

Gage: Listen you little twit we were drunk and I was feeling brazen...

Giles: Well....sir with all due respect what happened???

Gage: I don't remember, all I know is I woke up and had some of the best sleep I have had in a while....

Giles: Well uh sirrr.....he's waiting for you on line two....

The usually confident smug look on Gage's face is met with trepidation as before he pushes the intercom to talk to Mike he flashes back to his bet with Mike........

(FLASHBACK: almost 2 years ago hanging with Mike)

Disclaimer: Hanging out with a drunk Mike Tyson is never a good idea, especially when you both are piss poor drunk and bored with nothing to do...

Gage Gannon: Tell me something Mike, you can't really hit that hard can you.... I bet you hit like a woman in your old age...

Mike Tyson: Yo, what did you thay to me?

Gage: I said I think that in your old age you can hit me and it would be nothing more than a lovetap...

Mike Tyson: Yo, right now I will bet you however much you wanna bet me that I will knock you on your ath....

Gage: I highly doubt it old man, do you know who the f.....

Mike Tyson: Pleathe thpare me that "Mecca" Gage Gannon bullthit. Yo, bet me right now and I will knock you on your ath....

Gage: Ok, ok I'll tell you what? You've been a pretty good guest tonight I will give you $25 whole dollars if you can knock me out right here right now....

Mike Tyson: And what if I don't knock you out and you win....

Gage: Then easy, I won't bet you money but I get to punch you in your face with no repercussions from you....

Mike Tyson: O.k. dummy bet....

Gage: Ok...bet

Gage shakes Mike's hand as they agree to count to three before Mike punches him in the face....

Mike Tyson: Hey Gage, thith ith really going to hurt you. You are about to be flat on your ath...

Gage: I doubt that you have that much pow......

(WHACK!!!!))))))

All of a sudden Gage falls down on the ground snoring as Mike leans down trying to wake him....

Mike Tyson: Oh thit, oh thit, oh thit, Gage are you O.K.

Mike slaps Gage's cheek as Gage snorts as he wakes up disoriented....

Gage: Huh, what?  No mamma five more minutes please.

Mike slaps Gage's face some more as Gage finally wakes up....

(FLASHBACK ENDS)

Gage snaps out of his daydream as the look of worry on his face shows, as he is rubbing his chin....  Gage hits the intercom....

Gage: (sigh) Hey Mike....

Mike Tyson: Yo, you little punk why have you been ducking me??

Gage: I haven't been ducking you what are you talking about???

Mike Tyson: Yo, thon I want my $25.

Gage: It's the principle here!!! You didn't knock me on my ass I wasn't ready, and you suckerpunched me!!!

Mike Tyson: Yeah, alright man when I thee you your ath ith mine!!!

Gage: Wait, what????

Mike Tyson: I'm gonna eat the thit out of you little bitch....

Gage: I'm nobodies bitch I suggest you.....

Mike Tyson: Yeah, yeah that'th why you thpeaking all hethitant becauthe you know it'th on thight when I thee you!!!!

Gage: If you touch me so help me God....

Mike Tyson: Jutht give me my damn $25 and we will call it even!!!!

Gage: We will call it EVEN, when you can knock me on my ass without suckerpunching me!!

Mike Tyson: Alright bet, I promithe you I'm gonna butht your ath the next time that I thee you......

Gage just looks nervous as he rubs his chin and he hears the phone on the other end click....  GIles looks at Gage with a concerned look on his face.

Giles: SIr, just give him the $25, it won't even make a dent in your bank account....

Gage just scoffs at the ground shaking his head as he refuses to budge....

Gage: Why would I give that man the satisfaction.  

Giles comes over and pats Gage on his shoulder.....

Giles: Sir, no offense but your pride is going to get you in trouble one of these days.

Gage: Oh shut up GIles, the man is a millionaire like me he doesn't need my money....

Giles; No, but what about being honorable sir????

Gage: Fine then GIles pay the man....

Gage gets up and storms out of the room obviously flustered for being swindled out of $25.


Scene 2:

The scene open up with Gage arriving in the garage of the arena as the cameras are rolling...

"I hate Collectors!!! You know why I hate collectors? It's because they are pesky little nuances that inconvenience you at all hours of the day, But low and behold that is who I am facing this week. A man who calls himself the collector. You will have to forgive me as I am not in a jovial, or joking mood. You see I hate for anybody to get one over on me......

Gage just rubs his jaw and stares off in the distance....

"But I'll be damn if I will let anybody in this company get over on me. See I have one drive, one motivation. And it's real simple... I like to Eat. I don't like to collect, I like to devour. I like to make my opponent in their head doubt their ability, doubt that they belong in the same ring as Gage Gannon. It's a knack that I have, and it is something that I will always utilize towards my advantage. I realize that I can come across as someone with a superiority complex, but the fact of the matter is that I only expect the best of myself. See I can't walk around here with my head down wondering if I can beat my opponent. I can't walk around here wondering what my opponent has in store for me. The only thing that I wonder about is how long it is going to take me to beat my opponents ass."

"I'm not a complicated man really. It's simple. In life their are the predators, and then there are the people who can easily be manipulated. It's the people who you can tell from day one are the ones who doubt their ability. The collector is one of these people. See he walks around here in a mask, he hides his voice, and from what I can tell, with what little experience I have seen from him....he's not very good in the ring. We seem to have developed a sort of pattern here with my opponents."

"My opponents have all been people who should in this business be somebody, but they are nothing more than curtain jerkers. See they are the ones that will always be at the bottom of the list. They are going to be fighting for scraps. It's safe to say that after this week Collector you will be in the same position you were, as you were a few weeks ago. See before I here what you have to say let me assure you that I am going merely by nothing more than the lackluster output that you have shown so far. See it just bugs me to death that someone like you who have the audacity to potentially say something to someone like me."

"I've beaten every opponents ass that I have stepped into the ring with. They have all found out the hard way that Gage Gannon is the real deal. Now I am not going to sit here and blow smoke up your ass. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I think highly of you, i'm not going to sit here and blow smoke up your ass and tell you that this match will be competitive. What I will tell you is, to bring your lunchbox, because you have a long day ahead of you."

"I want you to understand what is about to happen to you next week. I want you to get this through your head. See sometimes its easier to paint a visual and though it may come across funny I assure you that what is going to happen to you next Wednesday is going to be no joke. I'm going to beat you Collector. There is no doubt in my mind, there is not an ounce of humility when I tell you this. I'm going to beat you. Because anything other than a win against you is going to be a letdown. And I DON'T LIKE LETDOWNS. Understand that when I get you in that ring I am like a surgeon. I will dissect you physically beyond what you are used to. But then again I don't need to tell you that as I am sure that you have seen a few of my matches, if you were a smart man."

Gage looks down as he rubs his jaw....

"A man once knocked me out once, and it was the most humiliating thing that I could ever imagine. To be.....helpless, to be almost......at the mercy of another man's whims. I hate being vulnerable. It's a nasty little caveat that brings a man to his lowest. Collector, as a man, getting in the ring with you I assure you that is not a feeling that I am going to face with you. There's only so many ways that I can tell you that I am going to beat you. I have to show you what I am talking about, because then when I show you.....that's when you become a believer. See I want you to collect all of this knowledge that I am going to give you of being in the ring with Gage Gannon. Because then you can spread my gospel, and you can tell others what it was like to be in the ring with someone far more superior than you. Next Wednesday, you've already lost and you just don't know it yet...."

-Scene Ends-