A camera comes into focus in front of Theo Pryce's office door. Nothing is happening, but a loud whirring can be hear and it's getting louder. Soon enough, right when viewers are probably thinking they logged onto XWF99.com just in time to watch the nice potted plant outside Theo's office grow, Bilbo Blumpkinz rolls up in his pimped out mobility scooter. It's been upgraded, obviously. Ground effects. Huge rims. Once it comes to a stop in front of the door, the sound of 'draulics hissing out echoes in the hall and Bilbo makes the ass drop.

Turning to face the camera directly, Bilbo makes a pained expression on his face and grunts.

"Hurrrrgggg..."

One of his eyes bugs out a little. Well, a little more. He cocks his head to the side and his face reddens as he grunts again.

"HHUUUURRRGGGGG..."

Then there's a sound. It's kinda like when someone is trying really hard to get the last bit out of a squeezable mayonnaise bottle, but way louder. Also, the leaves on the potted plant yellow a bit and curl inward.

Bilbo looks relieved, and he pulls away the baby blanket printed with pictures of Phantom Panzer's face on it to the side, revealing his obviously naked lower body. Next to his deformed hip is a colostomy bag. It's full with what looks like chocolate mousse but with peanuts in it.

"Aw crap. I think my tapeworm came out."

Bilbo pops the bag off of his intestinal tube and rips it open with his teeth, then starts fishing around in its contents until he pulls out a wriggling, squiggling worm. He eats it, obviously.

"Gotta keep my twink-like figure.

Bilbo then tosses the baggie into the potted plant and sucks his fingers clean.

"I feel better."

He rolls away.

---

---

---

"Sup. Bilbo here. I know you guys all missed me. You love me. Remember when I proved Danny Sex was actually hermaphrodite with ephebophilic tendencies? Or when I titty-fucked Dolly Waters through her hoodie? Or that time Gilly just stood there and let me suck his meat, proving once and for all that he was in fact gay? Remember? Those were awesome. I also won some belts."

"bX3 doesn't die, you dumb gays. Did those homos at the Pulse nightclub die? Of course they didn't. Because they were bX3-O-maniacs. We're endless. Me, Panzie, and Mingermind... that's his name now, don't you dare deadname him or you're a cis-bitch.Anyway, we've been chillin', all maxo relaxo, just biding our time to show up and have a bX3-some all over the XWF's eager open mouthed face! We're gonna finish on every tongue on this roster! Big D! Ned Kaye! Shawn Warstein! Atara Themis! And especially that dumb champion Robert Main. I've been thinking about busting these horse hormone injected gonads all over that wild hair of his since 2017. He's gonna swallow so much of he won't ever be able to get it all out. I'll take root in his belly and grow spores and soon I'll BE him. New body! Fuck yes!"

"Anyway. Before I throat fuck Bob Main, I've gotta fight this Russian guy who has a chest that looks like he got implants in Guatemala and then had to go to the guys on Botched to have them removed before he died of blood poisoning. Where did you go for your tit work, Rosey? Chechnya? You have a gaping concave in your sternum big enough to fit Boris. It's like you were jerking off to Komrade Trump's tweets, took him seriously when he suggested cooking up fish tank cleaner on a spoon, and took a double dose of that shit right into your bronchial tubes. What happened? Did Mingermind drop his massive purple peter on your thorax and crush your ribs? Why are your nipples pointing different directions? Why are you wearing a male cheerleader outfit? Are you a male cheerleader? Are you busy after Savage? Do you like tapas? We can go for tapas."

"I'm gonna have sex with you, Rose."

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