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BMW i8 · (02-03-2020)

1994 Subaru Impreza WRX! you think you got big wheels, You ain't got a lithium ion battery, You fucking scrapdump, You ain't got dat hybrid engine bitch, you ain't from the 2000s, you old fucking boomer. You think you got gold rings, bitch I got a gold engine.

Fight me at walmart carpark, bitch!

BEEP BEEP NIGGA! THE WAR IS ON!!

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Corey Smith · (02-03-2020)

Oh, snap bitch! CAR FIGHT UP IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER!

~~1994 Subaru Impreza WRX~~ · (02-03-2020)

"HHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIT!"

"The electric razor's calling me out!? The undefeated and greatest motor vehicle in sports entertainment!? Bitch do you know who I am? I've got the suspension from Eddie Guerrero's low rider! I got the crankshaft from JBL's limo! I even got tears of shame from Vince McMahon's last sexual harassment charge stained onto the leather seats in the back. You call me old, you plastic mother fucker I am history! Colin McRae would be spinning donuts in his grave if he saw the state of your Kendall Jenner looking bumper."

"I am a legend!"

"You're a fashion accessory who can't even look at a gravel road without rattling your pistons in fear! You wanna fight, you got it! But it ain't gonna be at no Walmart, I'm high class, I get paid I'M STAR OF THE MONTH! We have this at the one place where we separate the machines from the shopping carts."

"You."

"Me."

"Nurburging."

"HONK HONK CUNT!"

[Image: 3aa08473-subaru-wrc-colin-mcrae.gif]

BMW i8 · (02-04-2020)

Do you seriously think making some old as fuck references is going to make you look young. "I'm young I swear, listen to my early 2000 references" BITCH PLEASE! you ain't shit you fucking scrapheep. Although you making all these 20 year old references shows that you are

Your not a legend, you're a washed-up automobile.

You say I'm plastic, bitch I'm all-natural. Only the rawest of materials are used on me. Maybe you should have some surgery your starting to look old and worn out, but that's the only reason anyone likes you, your nothing, but an old nostalgia act running its last laps. You only got Superstar of the month cause I wasn't here yet. You claim to be the greatest motor vehicle in sports entertainment, maybe in the 1990s but you see times change, the engines get better and the old get cheaper and break down and get used for parts.

It's scrap time bitch!

You couldn't go 5 laps without breaking down in Nurburging Oldtimer

My true identity is....

[Image: 1RDXj46.jpg]

Ha! you thought I would reveal my secrets NEVER!

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · (02-04-2020)

My cars would tear up the road

Maverick · **02-04-2020, 02:38 AM**

"Shut up, Gilmour. No one cares. I'm pretty sure not even the cars care."

~~1994 Subaru Impreza WRX~~ · (02-04-2020)

(02-03-2020, 11:25 PM)BMW i8 Said: Do you seriously think making some old as fuck references is going to make you look young. "I'm young I swear, listen to my early 2000 references" BITCH PLEASE! you ain't shit you fucking scrapheep. Although you making all these 20 year old references shows that you are

Your not a legend, you're a washed-up automobile.

You say I'm plastic, bitch I'm all-natural. Only the rawest of materials are used on me. Maybe you should have some surgery your starting to look old and worn out, but that's the only reason anyone likes you, your nothing, but an old nostalgia act running its last laps. You only got Superstar of the month cause I wasn't here yet. You claim to be the greatest motor vehicle in sports entertainment, maybe in the 1990s but you see times change, the engines get better and the old get cheaper and break down and get used for parts.

It's scrap time bitch!

You couldn't go 5 laps without breaking down in Nurburging Oldtimer

My true identity is....

Ha! you thought I would reveal my secrets NEVER!

"You Nazi gold bought piece of scrap, I never said I was young! I may be cobalt blue but I'm a silver fox and thrive in it! I am aged and experienced, just ask your momma. That VW Beetle had some junk in the trunk and I don't mind going in the dirt if you know what I'm saying."

"You're so dumb you're the only mother fucker I have to squint so I can hear what dumb ass shit you're saying. You wanna say you're the best but I can see your pussy quivering when I rumble."

Windshield wipers activate.

"You're so pathetic I gotta wipe the tears of laughter of my face. You're gonna get wrecked you young punk, you say I won't last 5 laps but I'm just hearing a bunch of beeps. I put my warning lights on and you pop a gasket. You ain't shit, boy."

"Best learn your place, I'm pole position, you're sat in the slow lane."

"You said you didn't win SOTM because you weren't here? Well, bitch, guess you didn't have the horsepower to get here on time. Now you're just trying to cash in on my fame."

The Subaru open's the driver's side door and flings out its cigarette lighter like it was a toothpick at the BMW.

"You name the time and place and I'll make you look like a Reliant Robin."

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-04-2020, 11:21 PM**

(02-04-2020, 02:38 AM)Maverick Said: "Shut up, Gilmour. No one cares. I'm pretty sure not even the cars care."

and nobody cares about u either mavdick

Jim "the Jim" Jimson · **02-05-2020, 12:16 AM**

(02-04-2020, 11:21 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said:
(02-04-2020, 02:38 AM)Maverick Said: "Shut up, Gilmour. No one cares. I'm pretty sure not even the cars care."

and nobody cares about u either mavdick

Look here, it's the great peter glimour, he's been at this for YEARS yet the best comeback he can make is a dick joke, a dick joke not even funny...

You should meet up with my 8-year-old brother, you guys can laugh at the words like "pee-pee" and "fuck" for HOURS although you probably will get erect as soon as you two meet, you definitely haven't had human contact in at least 6 months and seem to get more boners than a hormone-filled teenager.

boeing 737 · (02-05-2020)

Bruh moment #489,032, you guys are still on land? Gay lol, Fuck cars

The Brothers Blackwater · **02-05-2020, 02:56 PM**

"Hello cars and plane, not sure why I can hear you talking but it's a weird world out there, might as well accept it. I can't wait till Train shows up."

"Anyway, I was passing through and I heard a couple of things that struck me as... strange."

"Peter, why are you talking to Maverick's dick?"

"And Jim, why do you want your 8 year old brother to meet Peter, even though you suspect that he'll get an erection, during the meeting?"

Jim "the Jim" Jimson · **02-05-2020, 03:30 PM**

(02-05-2020, 02:56 PM)The Brothers Blackwater Said: "Hello cars and plane, not sure why I can hear you talking but it's a weird world out there, might as well accept it. I can't wait till Train shows up."

"Anyway, I was passing through and I heard a couple of things that struck me as... strange."

"Peter, why are you talking to Maverick's dick?"

"And Jim, why do you want your 8 year old brother to meet Peter, even though you suspect that he'll get an erection, during the meeting?"

Hes an alter boy for the local church, he's used to creepy old men having boners around him

**02-05-2020, 05:49 PM**

**sniff, sniff**

It sure smells like BITCH in here.

All I see are some white trash shaggin' wagon and some yuppie piece of shit acting like they got BIG DICKS when everybody knows that the CYBERTRUCK is the one packing maximum meat missile, BITCH! I've got the utility of a truck with the kickass speed, sleek styling and panache of a sports car. Plus I look like I come from the motherfucking future. Can either of you oil smears say that? No, I don't think so!

Also planes suck dick.

The Brothers Blackwater · (10-21-2020)

(02-05-2020, 03:30 PM)Jim "the Jim" Jimson Said: Hes an alter boy for the local church, he's used to creepy old men having boners around him

"And the answer to that is to introduce him to more perverts? Wow. You're a terrible older brother and just about as sick as the pedophiles that you knowingly allow to continue to be around your younger sibling. I am both horrified and appalled. You sir, are an awful human being."

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-05-2020, 10:22 PM**

jimbo ive had more sex with hot as fuck women than you've had a win here in the xwf.. so shut your damn mouth!

The Brothers Blackwater · **02-05-2020, 10:45 PM**

"Then why were you talking to Maverick's cock?"

Jim "the Jim" Jimson · (02-06-2020)

(02-05-2020, 10:22 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: jimbo ive had more sex with hot as fuck women than you've had a win here in the xwf.. so shut your damn mouth!

So you fucked 3 people. Got it. so you've fucked your mum, your sister and your auntie, good job keeping it in the family over there, we don't want the Gilmour genes to go to another generation.

Can't wait for Gilly to say "No I fucked your mum" Real original

Maverick · **02-05-2020, 11:42 PM**

"I would say Gilmour is the von Habsburgs of the XWF with how intertwined he is with incest, but honestly, even they would stick their noses up at him."

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · (02-06-2020)

uh no i fucked maria brink, rose smith, ashley marie, kelly osbourne, candy from UK, mia yim.. countless more hot as fuck women.. including your grandmother and mother too

shutup jim before the THREAT ends u

Jim "the Jim" Jimson · **02-06-2020, 12:14 AM**

(02-05-2020, 11:42 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: uh no i fucked maria brink, rose smith, ashley marie, kelly osbourne, candy from UK, mia yim.. countless more hot as fuck women.. including your grandmother and mother too

shutup jim before the THREAT ends u

Bitch please. The THREAT, couldn't end a Trisomy 13 baby.

Corey Smith · **02-06-2020, 04:13 AM**

I think we are losing sight of the real purpose here. These motor vehicles want to FIGHT.

Maverick · **02-06-2020, 04:19 AM**

(02-06-2020, 04:13 AM)ENGINEER.EXE Said: I think we are losing sight of the real purpose here. These motor vehicles want to FIGHT.

"Side note - how the hell are they able to talk? And why do these suddenly magical vehicles want to come here of all places?"

Corey Smith · **02-06-2020, 04:53 AM**

(02-06-2020, 04:19 AM)Maverick Said:
(02-06-2020, 04:13 AM)ENGINEER.EXE Said: I think we are losing sight of the real purpose here. These motor vehicles want to FIGHT.

"Side note - how the hell are they able to talk? And why do these suddenly magical vehicles want to come here of all places?"

Such is the magic and mystery of the XWF.

Theo Pryce · **02-06-2020, 06:34 AM**

(02-06-2020, 04:19 AM)Maverick Said:
(02-06-2020, 04:13 AM)ENGINEER.EXE Said: I think we are losing sight of the real purpose here. These motor vehicles want to FIGHT.

"Side note - how the hell are they able to talk? And why do these suddenly magical vehicles want to come here of all places?"

Look at you acting like Transformers isn't a thing.

Shawn Warstein · **02-06-2020, 06:36 AM**

(02-06-2020, 06:34 AM)Theo Pryce Said:
(02-06-2020, 04:19 AM)Maverick Said:
(02-06-2020, 04:13 AM)ENGINEER.EXE Said: I think we are losing sight of the real purpose here. These motor vehicles want to FIGHT.

"Side note - how the hell are they able to talk? And why do these suddenly magical vehicles want to come here of all places?"

Look at you acting like Transformers isn't a thing.

He’s not a bright man is he?

Theo Pryce · **02-06-2020, 07:28 AM**

Not so much.

**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · (02-06-2020)

Shane sits on a familiar looking wooden table...

caressing it gently...

as he watches that classic footage of Mav arguing with a table.<-(clicky clicky teeheehee)

(04-07-2015, 01:54 PM)Maverick Said:
(04-07-2015, 01:17 PM)Table Said: LOOK EVERYONE, MAVERICK'S TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO FIGHT A TABLE!

"LOOK EVERYONE, TABLE'S TOO MUCH OF A TO KNOW WHEN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP! Seriously, it's like your one of those special children that everyone likes because, well, you're special. Now fuck off."

That was half a decade ago, Mav... yet today you question how vehicles can speak?

But you spending hours arguing with A TABLE five years ago was all fine and dandy in your mind?!? Shane looks gobsmacked as fuck.

Maverick · **02-06-2020, 08:25 PM**

(02-06-2020, 07:15 PM)superSHAMELESS shaneCARVER Said: Shane sits on a familiar looking wooden table...

caressing it gently...

as he watches that classic footage of Mav arguing with a table.<-(clicky clicky teeheehee)

(04-07-2015, 01:54 PM)Maverick Said:
(04-07-2015, 01:17 PM)Table Said: LOOK EVERYONE, MAVERICK'S TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO FIGHT A TABLE!

"LOOK EVERYONE, TABLE'S TOO MUCH OF A TO KNOW WHEN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP! Seriously, it's like your one of those special children that everyone likes because, well, you're special. Now fuck off."

That was half a decade ago, Mav... yet today you question how vehicles can speak?

But you spending hours arguing with A TABLE five years ago was all fine and dandy in your mind?!? Shane looks gobsmacked as fuck.

"It's... been a while. Too long, honestly."

"I'm surprised you even remembered that, to be honest."

Shawn Warstein · (02-06-2020)

“Mav, Shane has the memory of an elephant. He forgets nothing, it’s the recalling of it that is usually the issue.

boeing 737 · **02-06-2020, 09:39 PM**

I may hate cars, but at least they aren't jumping into any of your threads, you humans are such assholes

ALSO

(02-05-2020, 05:49 PM)Tesla Cybertruck Said: **sniff, sniff**

It sure smells like BITCH in here.

All I see are some white trash shaggin' wagon and some yuppie piece of shit acting like they got BIG DICKS when everybody knows that the CYBERTRUCK is the one packing maximum meat missile, BITCH! I've got the utility of a truck with the kickass speed, sleek styling and panache of a sports car. Plus I look like I come from the motherfucking future. Can either of you oil smears say that? No, I don't think so!

Also planes suck dick.

You want to go, you polygon ps1 lookalike, get out of here or imma going to have to throw a rock at you, Wheel boy

**02-07-2020, 10:55 AM**

"Look at all of you bitches, knowing your stuff with being the fastest and deadly shit. Sure, Colin McRae is a legend, but how many titles has he won, compared to our boy Marc Marquez who's won Moto GP titles with us in two thousand and thirteen, two thousand and fourteen, two thousand and sixteen, two thousand and seventeen, two thousand and eighteen and two thousand and nineteen? One title and that's in the ninety-five season. The last time Subaru had a title win in Rally was back in 2003 with Petter Solberg. After that, they Subaru quitted like bitches in Rally in 2008 because they ran out of money and bitched about not getting enough money. I mean who even cares about planes being competitive when nobody races planes or have any achievements, apart from plane crashes? Nobody.

Bitches, none of you can handle to face against the best team in Moto GP history with the most difficult bike to ride on the grid with us being successful with other riders like Rossi, Mick Doohan, Casey Stoner and even Dani Pedrosa winning races for us. Anyone can have balls stepping into a car, but how many people would have the balls to get on a bike and race for victory? We vrooming to the win and beat you guys. None of you can do wheelies and stoppies on two wheels. Of course, cars can slide, but bikes do it a lot better. Also, Marc Marquez will take you on racing in a Nurburgring track, but Rally cars have no chance against real motorcycle machines on track because motorcycles will have better grip than rally cars do when it comes to tarmac with Rally cars mostly based in mud, snow and sand. We can do doughnuts, slides, burnouts, wheelies, stoppies better than cars can."

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-07-2020, 09:51 PM**

talking cars.. whats next flying pigs

**02-10-2020, 02:07 AM**

The hedge sways in the breeze

Taco · (02-10-2020)

(02-07-2020, 09:51 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: talking cars.. whats next flying pigs

Taco steels himself at the ledge. This is the moment he has been waiting for since he was a suckling piglet.

The glider's straps dig into his flesh, twisting the hairs of his porky shoulders... but he knows the tightness is for his own safety.

It's now or never. The moment everyone has been waiting for... a lot of promises will have to be settled up after this.

He steps forward, snuffling his nose along the roof just in case he missed a morsel of food the first 30 times he checked. Nope. Nothing. Disappointing.

"Onk."

He's ready.

Taco runs forward at top speed, probably 4-5 mph. His hooves click against the tar paper on the roof and soon he is aloft! The glider catches air, and he sails away from the XWF headquarters toward the building across the way, which may or may not be a Piggly Wiggly.

He's damn sure gonna find out.

"OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooonkkkkkkk."

**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · (02-10-2020)

Oh god darn it look what you morons did!

Taco! Here boy! TACO!

Tommy Wish · (02-10-2020)

Tommy catches Taco mid air.

"Taco, you didn't need to do all that... don't listen to Daddy Gilly, say no to peer preasure!"

He hands Taco to Vinny as a grand gesture.

"Hey Vinny, tell Roxy I said hi...and I still thank her for her heels from last year."

**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · (02-10-2020)

Hey thanks Tom! Where'd you get that sweet jetpack?

Vinnie looks down in embarrassment as Taco has begun to shit profusely.

Ohhhhh. I uh... I should probably go.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · (02-13-2020)

gilmour cutter to taco.. he wasn't a THREAT ;)

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · (02-11-2020)

Did you just attack a pig?

For not being a threat?

I HAVE BEEN SENDING SQUIRRELS OUT TO FUCK WITH YOU FOR THREE FUCKING YEARS AND YOU ATTACK A PIG?

Robbie tromps off.

Taco · (02-11-2020)

"Onk."

Taco no-sells the shit out of that weaksauce Cutter because you can't even grab a proper cravate on something with barely any kind of neck. Taco is all torso, baby!

"ONK!"

Oh shit! Taco just tusked the ever-loving fuck out of Gilmour's calves! Gilly is bleeding like... well, like a stuck pig. Which is a racist term, you jerks. Get woke.

"ONK! ONK! ONK! WEEEEEEEEE!"

Gilly is DROPPED. Taco can jump guys, and that means he can fling his fat body at you in the most awkward and hoof-filled cross-body block you've ever seen. All 180 pounds of Taco's pigmeat (I'm being generous here, honestly, he's probably over two bills) lands on Gilly's thorax and windpipe. Gilly is hacking and coughing but Taco's not done! Taco scampers up on top of the Tesla...

TACOSAULT! TACOSAULT! TACO JUST SMASHED GILLY LIKE EVERYONE DOES!!!!!

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