WEDNESDAY - 8TH JANUARY 2020 THE XWF CONTINUES IT'S IRELAND/UK TOUR. THIS IS... WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE!!!! From... GLASGOW HYDRO ARENA, GLASGOW, SCOTLAND

Warfare begins in the parking lot of the arena, packed with vehicles from front to back. The fans' adrenaline echoes throughout the evening air... Everyone here in Glasgow are shouting in excitement for what is sure to be another amazing event from the Xtreme Wrestling Federation!!

Warfare has been heating up lately, just as Savage has been, all thanks to a decent influx of new talent, primed to show the world what they've got. Add to that the quick rise of Anarchy into an established brand, and the XWF is enjoying a rush of credibility and popularity, slowly becoming stronger than ever before.

A motorcycle pulls into the lot, the driver wearing a jet black bodysuit with a dash of crimson... and pulled over his head is a red and black helmet. A few fans are milling about outisde, in awe of the figure just arriving before them. A few fans hold out their hands to greet the cyclist... but the man / woman simply ignores them, till they come across one last fan--

-- A 5 year old kid with a BigD stuffed figure held lovingly in their arms. The kiddo looks up at the entity high above them, and the unknown removes their helment, slipping it onto the youngster's head. Their mom and dad smile as the anonymous figure nods their way... We find that the figure is wearing a black mask adorned with a red x across the face --



The masked man, known only as "red-x" , approaches the entrance... They reach into their outfit... pulling out a black baseball bat. They roll the bat in their hand, whispering something to themselves, before heading for the Glasgow Hydro Arena....

#HereComesTrouble

"i'm wakin' up,
i feel it in my bones...
welcome to the new age."

"this is it....
The apocalypse"

---

MATCH #1: LINK REXX - vs - MICHAEL ARCHER JUNIOR NEWCOMERS MATCH

Link Rexx makes his way to the ring, and waits for his opponent.


Michael Archer makes his way to the ring, and gets in and stares at his opponent, before the bell rings.


HHL: “Here we go! Two hot studs ready to get it on!”

PC: “I get what you mean, but this is a newcomer match!”

HHL: “That’s right two new guys ready to get down!”

PC: “Mhmmmm…”


DING! DING! DING!


As the bell sounds, the two newcomers meet in the center of the ring with a test of strength that seems to be going in the favor of Link Rexx! But as he shifts weight to pin down Archer, Michael Archer quickly turns it around before releasing to throw a stiff jab! Rexx staggers backwards before having two boots dot him on the chin as the dropkick sends him into the corner! Archer quickly gets back to his feet before running towards Link and nailing him with a charging super kick!

Rexx staggers out of the corner as Archer quickly hooks his arm and nails him with a snap suplex with a hooked leg into a bridge!










ONE…










TWO…









TH-NO! Rexx kicks out!

HHL: “Oh man! I thought he was done that quick.”

PC: “Hmmmm….”


They both stagger to their feet, but it’s Rexx who catches Archer with a kick to the midsection before hooking the head of Archer and driving him into the mat with a DDT. Rexx grabs up Archer and hooks an arm before lifting him up and DROPPING him right onto the top of his head!

BRAINBUSTER!

Archer looks a little groggy as Rexx rolls over and hooks a leg!








ONE…
















TWO-KICKOUT!

Both men slowly roll to their feet, but it’s Archer who nails Rexx with a headbutt! Rexx looks at him and delivers one right back! Both men are out on their feet from the hard-hitting headbutts! Rexx hits the ropes, but he’s caught as he comes back with a huge kick to the gut followed by a delayed brainbuster of his own!

BRAIN TRAUMA!

PC: “That may have indeed caused some Brain Trauma!”

HHL: “He could give me trauma anytime he wanted…”

PC: “Jesus…”

Archer covers him!








ONE…












TWO…













TH-KICKOUT! Rexx managed to get a shoulder up!

Michael Archer Jr quickly gets to his feet as Rexx gets to his knees and catches another superkick to the chin! The hit stalls him as Archer leaps up and hooks his head on the way down!

X MARKS THE SPOT!

The RKO spikes him into the mat as Archer covers!















ONE…













TWO…













THREEEEE!

Winner - Michael Archer Jr.

---

Welcome to the first event of the XWF Highland Games. The Caber Toss. Each contestant has 3 minutes to toss a caber, and the most tosses a contestant throws in 3 minutes is the winner.

First up is Thunder Knuckles. He manages to toss a caber 9 times. Well done Thunder Knuckles.
Next up is Robbie Bourbon. He manages to toss a caber 6 times. Not too bad Robbie.
And last up is Calvary. He manages to toss a caber 8 times. Almost Calvary. Almost.

CABER TOSS WINNER: Thunder Knuckles.

---

MATCH #2: ROMAN - vs - THE COLLECTOR NEWCOMERS MATCH

Roman makes his way to the ring, and waits for his opponent.


The arena blacks out entirely. The Collector's "Legion" (fan base) lights up their blinking masks as Empire starts to play. Once the chorus hits, the Collector emerges from backstage. His mask, wrist bands and boots all blinking in unison: Blink. Blink Blink-Blink. The lights fade on once he climbs into the ring.

DING DING DING!

The bell sounds and these two circle around the ring. Roman slides across the ring grabbing for the legs of The Collector, but he’s just a little too quick as he slides away. Roman begins to get up to his feet, but The Collector floats over and drills him into the mat with a DDT! The Collector brings him quickly over to the corner where he begins laying in the chops!


HHL: “Oh man! My tits are on fire just hearing that!”

PC: “The Collector is trying to find a new shade to Roman’s chest!”

HHL: “Nothing hurts worse!”

After ten chops or so, The Collector takes a step away and rushes back towards him after springing from the second rope! But Roman ducks the dropkick as The Collector crashes and burns! Roman quickly rolls him up!







ONE…










TWO…












NO! The Collector kicks out!

HHL: “Roman was trying to capitalize there!”

PC: “You have to get those wins wherever you can!”

The Collector gets back to his feet and quickly springs off the second rope as Roman gets up. The moonsault catches him this time as they both hit the mat. The Collector quickly climbs to the top rope, turns around and leaps off for another moonsault! It hits as well as he quickly hooks the legs!









ONE…











TWO…












THR-NO! Roman powers out at the last second!

Both men get to their feet quickly, but it’s Roman who gets the upperhand with an upperhand to the face of The Collector! He follows it up with a dropkick sending him back into the corner. He rushes over to him before kicking him in the gut and rolling him into the center of the ring. Roman climbs to the top rope and turns around, but The Collector has leapt up there!

SUPER HURRICANRANA!


HHL: “WHOA!”

PC: “That’s a long way down for poor Roman!”

HHL: “Damn! Did you see the way his back hit the mat?!”


Roman slams to the mat with a huge thud and skids a foot or so as The Collector sees an opportunity and goes for the cover!







ONE…






TWO…











THREE!


NO! He got his foot on the rope! The Collector is pissed that he didn’t hook both legs.

HHL: “What a noob.”

PC: “Well, this is a Newcomer match!”


The Collector lifts up Roman and sends him into the ropes before catching his return with a double diving dropkick to the knees sending Roman face-first into the mat! He tries to get up as The Collector hits the ropes and drives his face into the mat with a curb stomp!

NEW YORK’S FINEST!

The Collector covers!
















ONE…



























TWO…





















THREEEEE!

Winner - The Collector

---

MATCH #3: GRIFFIN MACALISTER - vs - CALVARY X-TREME RULES

Griffin emerges from the entrance; eyes set straight ahead, he marches to the ring without much attention or emotion shown towards the crowd. Climbing the steel steps, he then takes his place within the ring and awaits the bell.


As the music kicks up, The Calvary can be spotted in the corner of the arena with his chest puffed out. He flies down to the ring before slowly descending onto a turnbuckle where he gives out a mighty bellow. He pounds his chest before stepping down into the ring and cracking his knuckles.


DING DING DING!

The bell sounds as these two stare each other down across the ring. They begin to circle before Griffin makes the first move by running across the ring with a huge clothesline. The Calvary ducks that and drives a huge punch right into the midsection of Griffin who staggers backwards. His eyes light up as he engages The Calvary again.

PUNCHES ARE COMING FROM EVERYWHERE!

Both men are lighting each other up with a huge barrage of blows! Neither man is relenting as they keep throwing wild shots! Both men seem to be really enjoying themselves as they’re striking with some heavy blows!


HHL: “This is INSANE!”

PC: “This is what happens when two superpowered fools square off!”


The Calvary misses a shot as Griffin ducks at just the right moment before hitting a huge punch of his own to the midsection! The Calvary steps back holding his gut and seemingly entertained by the brawl. Griffin hits the ropes and comes back with a hu-

SPEAR!

The Calvary nearly breaks Griffin in half with that huge collision! But he isn’t finished. He quickly lifts up Griffin and hooks an arm before nailing a delayed jackhammer drilling Griffin right into the mat!

The crowd begins to boo as The Calvary is going one time too many to the Goldberg well. The Calvary seems momentarily confused by the crowd before Griffin catches him with a roundhouse followed quickly by a leaping DDT!


HHL: “The adaptability of Griffin MacAlister seems to be coming in handy here tonight!”

PC: “He’s got to do whatever he can to match the power of The Calvary! His resourcefulness is definitely aiding him!”


Griffin quickly turns him over into an Anaconda Vise and locks it in tight! The Calvary is in a lot of pain here as he slowly rises to his feet with Griffin locked around him. He manages to break the hold with his sheer strength flinging Griffin backwards. He rolls back to his feet, but The Calvary is right there with a sleeper hold of his own!


PC: “Looks like The Calvary might be more than just a brute as well!”


Griffin seems caught off-guard from the change of his moves as he locks in a tight embrace around his head. Griffin reaches towards the ropes for a few before realizing he only has one option.

JAWBREAKER!


HHL: “There’s that resourcefulness again!”


The Calvary’s jaw is jammed together as he backs away clutching his jaw in agony. Griffin quickly catches his arm over him and lifts him up for the Rock Bottom!

LIGHTS OUT MOTHER FUCKER!


HHL: “Griffin just hit all of that move!”

PC: “We’ll see if The Calvary can come back from this one!”


Griffin cockily covers The Calvary with just his shoulders leaned back against him.







ONE…












TWO…













TH-KICKOUT! The Calvary kicks out big there!

Griffin turns around and just begins delivering stomps viciously to him, but The Calvary catches one! He slowly rises with anger building on his face as Griffin looks a little apprehensive. The Calvary turns Griffin around quickly before driving a HUGE shot into the gut followed by a massive uppercut! As Griffin is picking up his teeth, The Calvary hits the ropes and nails a huge clothesline that floors him!

JUSTICE, RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND DUE PROCESS!

The Calvary climbs to the top rope and begins puffing out his chest.

Griffin MacAlister slowly rises to his feet as The Calvary leaps off with a huge punch aimed right at his face!

THE CRUSADE!

The punch hits hard enough to turn Griffin inside out as he slams down to the mat. The Calvary covers him!









ONE…

















TWO…
















THREEEE!

Winner - The Calvary

---

Welcome to the second event of the XWF Highland Games. The Shot Put.

Up first is Peter Gilmour. He throws a distance of 45 meters 4 inches. Well done Peter.
Next up is Thunder Knuckles. He throws a distance of 50 meters 8 inches. He takes the lead.
Third up is Robbie Bourbon. He throws a distance of 48 meters 5 inches. Almost Robbie. Almost
Fourth up was suppose to be Jim Jimson. But he never appeared so he was eliminated.
Fifth up is Calvary. He throws a distance of 47 meters 2 inches.
And last up is Boris. He throws a distance of 45 meters 2 inches.

SHOT PUT WINNER: THUNDER KNUCKLES

---

MATCH #4: THUNDER KNUCKLES - vs - MADISON DYSON WEAPONS MATCH

"BLOODMONEY" by Poppy hits the sound system as the main screen is flush with images of Madison Dyson in action interspersed with fascist imagery from Nazi era Germany including dramatic rallies, that fade into more modern scenes of right wing upheaval. These scenes are cut with shots of her bathed in a white light looking messianic, as well as her name in Fraktur font colored blood red. Madison hits the top of the stage alonside Universal Champion, The Engineer!

Pip: Whoa! Wasn't expecting the Universal Champion here tonight!

Heather: Yeah, he was not scheduled to be here. I find it hard to believe he's just here to watch, Madison “wrestle”.

Pip: Why, broadcast colleague, it sounds like you may have put “wrestle” in quotes there!

Heather: I certainly did, seeing as how Madison and Thunder Knuckles have been pretty overt about the fact that she's buying a win here!

Madison stops at ringside and peruses the collection of weapons assembled in trash cans. She acts like shes going to take one and then shakes her head and says “nah”. She slides in the ring and The Universal champ takes a position at ringside.


A giant wall of flaming pyro burst through the ceiling as Thunderstruck RuMbLeS through what remains of the arena! Thunder Knuckles marches down the ramp wearing a shirt that says “Pin Me, Pay Me” and rolls into the ring. He isn't wasting any time getting into this fight....that he's already agreed to take a dive in, of course!

TK and Madison both get in the center of the ring, and Madison immediately gestures for him to hit the mat! Knuckles raises a hand up and waggles his finger at her, and then he pulls out his phone to check his Xbux balance!

Heather: Oh, for the love of....

Knuckles smiles and flashes Madison a thumbs up! He returns his phone to his pocket and takes a fighting stance. Madison pokes him in the chest and THUNDER KNUCKLES HITS THE CANVAS! The fans are already booing their asses off!

Madison melodramatically dives on top of TK! The ref rolls his eyes and reluctantly drops to make the three count.

1.....


2.....




















(INSERT DRAMATIC PAUSE THAT NOBODY IS FUCKING BUYING)





…...HOLY SHIT 3!!!!!!!!

THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, VIA XBUX......MADISON DYSON!!!!

Madison pops to her feet looking ecstatic and in a state of shock, she forces the ref to raise her hand in victory as “Bloodymoney” hits once again! Thunder Knuckles rolls out of the ring before the fans start a riot!

Pip: These fans not hesitating to let their feelings known about this match!

Heather: Vinnie? Theo? Anybody gonna do anything here?

Thunder Knuckles starts walking backwards up the ramp, patting his “Pin Me, Pay Me” shirt and laughing before he disappears into the back.

The Engineer rolls into the ring and makes a cut throat motion, calling for silence. He grabs a mic from a member of the ringside crew.

Wow....WOW! We are definitely gonna need a post match breakdown of all this insane shit that went down! A few pieces of trash hit the ring, which The Engineer ignores. Madison, how did you pull off that stunning victory?!

Madison approaches the mic, pretending to be out of breath. The jeering from the fans reaches a crescendo, they're not allowing her to talk. Ya'all wanna shut the fuck up?

MORE BOOS!

Whatever, I'll just talk over you. I tell you, that was the single most taxing match of my career! She takes a deep breath. But between my training and my faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I pulled through!

Madison fist pumps triumphantly, which she then turns into a middle finger to the crowd!

**FUCK YOU, MADDY!** Clap...clap...clap,clap, clap! **FUCK YOU, MADDY!** Clap....clap...clap, clap, clap!

Madison returns to the mic. Whatever assholes, you're all just hating on success! What have YOU done lately, huh?! I'm stimulating the Xbux economy! Do you know many jobs will be created filling bags of trash from Ghost Tank's house or printing off Mastermind t-shirts that no one wants?!

The Engineer leans in to say some soothing words to Madison and then gently pulls the mic away from her.

It'll all be okay, Madison. Don't you worry. But, while I'm out here, I figured I take the opportunity to switch gears a bit and address a big fat glaring hole in the Cunt Fest card.

The crowd's animosity starts to die down a bit. Apparently, they're interested in this too.

It's a hole at the very top of the card. A very large, very loud hole. A hole with something to prove. And yet, it's a hole that, officially speaking, has still not been filled! He looks a bit incredulous. Rest assured folks, there is a man who can fill that mighty hole. He just needs to speak the words and tell the world what he wants. He looks pointedly into the camera. And when the man who fits squarely in that hole is READY to do that, I am ready to answer.

Anytime, big man. Anytime.

The Engineer drops the mic to the canvas as his theme music hits. He and Madison leave the ring, but before departing completely, the champion considers the weapons surrounding the ring that were supposed to be for the match. He walks around the cans a bit, and then a playful smile crosses his features and he starts removing them and tossing them into the crowd! Some of the fans pop as he tosses kendo sticks, broken pipes, shanks, stop signs, and more into the waiting arms of the masses. Madison claps and laughs as he does it. When all the weapons are dispersed, the champion waves “goodbye” to the crowd in dramatic fashion and finally makes his way to the back.

Heather: I wonder who he was talking about....

Pip: If you're wondering, then you really haven't been paying attention. The main event at Cunt Fest is gonna be hellacious!

---

WELCOME TO THE THIRD EVENT OF THE XWF HIGHLAND GAMES - SLINGSHOT A.K.A HAMMER THROW

First up is Robbie Bourbon. He throws a distance of 100 meters 6 inches - well done Robbie
Last up is Calvary. He throws a distance of 98 meters 2 inches - Almost Calvary. Almost.

HAMMER THROW WINNER: ROBBIE BOURBON

---

MATCH #5: NOTORIOUS NED KAYE - vs - TONY SANTOS LAST MAN STANDING

The entire stadium goes black as the song begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Slowly stepping from the fog is none other then Notorious Ned Kaye. He stops for a moment, calming himself in front of the clamoring crowd. He lifts an arm, eyeing the stands to watch the many audience members who follow suit. With a single smile, he drops his arm and rushes towards the ring, slipping in from under the bottom rope, picking himself up immediately.


A Lesson Never Learned" hits, roaring guitars filling the arena. Tony Santos descends down the entrance ramp, hoodie with the hood over his head, quickly walking to the ring, scowl on his face. The disdain from the crowd pours in as Tony simply grunts at the crowd.

The chorus (Could be the end of the world, I'd still be laid here on my own, wasting my life away!!!) hits, Santos ascends the stairs and climbs the turnbuckle, one hand raised in the air. Boos rain in from the crowd as Tony simply soaks it in like a fine IPA.

Santos jumps off of the turnbuckle and hits the mat with his two feet, giving one more raised arm to the crowd, then turning toward the entrance ramp, awaiting the bell to ring....

Ned and Santos start in their respective corners.

HHL: "We're looking at a rematch for the Hart title from several months ago. These two seemed on fairly even ground back then."

PC: "Yup! Get ready for some flippy shit, folks!"

DING! DING! DING!

The two begin circling one another and Ned reaches high for a collar and elbow tie-up, Santos, however, slaps Kaye's hand away and goes in from the side and locks in a headlock. Santos whirs at the head and snaps down, going on to one knee; Ned struggles briefly in the hold before planting his feet and wrapping an arm around Santos' stomach and places another under Tony's thigh before lifting back into a Back Suplex! But Tony rolls out of the hold and lands on his feet behind Kaye.

Santos goes low for a sweep but Kaye hops up into the air and drops a beautiful Bicycle Kick onto Santos' dome! Tony flops forward and Kaye turns to run the ropes, on the rebound, he goes onto his backside and nails a baseball slide kick into Santos which bowls the former Hart Champion over to his back. Kaye sprints over Santos and jumps onto the top rope, steadying himself briefly before leaping back with a turn in mid-air looking for a crossbody but Santos manages to quickly step back and pushes down on Ned's body causing the Notorious One to crash down onto his knee with a rib breaker!

HHL: "These two are going hard quick!"

PC: "Pfft... Gay."

HHL: "Shut up, I'm saying they're exerting a lot of energy early on."

Ned rolls off Tony's knee and Santos grabs the back of Kaye's hair to pick him up; Tony slams Kaye's head against the turnbuckle before switching him around and tossing him into the opposite corner. Kaye flips; hitting the turnbuckles with his back and flopping over onto the apron. Santos builds a head full of steam and hops onto the ropes before bouncing off and throwing a boot towards Kaye who barely ducks the attack. Santos lands on his feet with a slightly stiff leg; Kaye jumps over the apron and places his legs around Santos' neck in an electric chair position before twisting and dropping Tony Santos with a hurricanrana! Santos drops but rolls to his feet as Ned gets back to his feet and the two run towards each other; Ned jumps high looking to plant two boots into the back of Santos' neck but Tony ducks and runs forward too quick as Ned lands. The two spin quickly around at one another planting spinning heel kicks in each other's chests and the two go down with a big pop from the crowd.

The ref stands between the two and raises both hands.

1


...


2



...



3




...




4



Ned begins to stir.


5


As does Tony.


6


Ned gets to a knee!


7


And Santos quickly follows.


8


And with a roar from the crowd, both men get back to their feet.

Kaye raises his fists and eggs Santos on. The two get closer together and Ned strikes with a forearm which Santos brushes off; Ned goes for a right hook which is dodged and Santos disrespects Ned with a powerful open hand slap which gets some 'oohs' from the crowd. Ned taps his lip and goes immediately into a full swing with his right with a big pop and Santos stumbles back as Ned continues the assault of quick right jabs forcing Tony against the ropes; Ned finishes his assault with a knee to the gut before propelling him towards the opposite ropes, on the rebound, Ned rushes forward and drops Santos with a huge crossbody!

HHL: "The Airborne Annihilator!"

PC: "A piece of Ned Kaye's history just took down Santos!"

Kaye rolls off a prone Santos clutching his ribs. Ned, slowly gets to his feet and rests in the corner, the ref hovers over Tony's body.

1


...


2


...


3


...


4


...


5


...


6


Santos begins to stir.


7


HHL: "Looks like Santos isn't down for long!"


8


PC: "That move of Ned's was more to get the pin, not knock out."


9


And Santos stumbles to his feet, his feet drunkenly fumbling towards the ropes which he uses as a crutch. Kaye pushes himself away from the corner and rushes Santos but he's stopped short by a dirty elbow to the throat! Santos goes for a kick to the stomach but Ned just grabs Tony's leg in time but Santos switches his stance and bowls Kaye over the ropes with a spinning leg lariat! Kaye crashes to the outside and lands hard on the floor. Santos gets to his feet and pushes the ref to start the count.

1


...


2


...


3


...


4


...


5


Kaye begins to stir.


6


He begins to roll to his feet!


As Santos gets to the top rope!


SANTOS TAKES TO THE AIR!!!

FINAL DESTINATION!

The Senton Bomb lands with perfect precision and the two competitors are still on the outside.

The ref counts as the crowd go apeshit.

1


...


2


...


3


...


4


...


5



...



6




Santos stirs.



7






....





8







Kaye stirs.






9







SANTOS IS UP! Scarmbling to the barricade to aid himself, briefly planting a foor onto Kaye's back as he stands.








Kaye tries to pick himself up.












AND!













TEN!!!


The ref finishes the count and Kaye flops back down to the outside.

Winner - Tony Santos

Ned and Tony are both regaining their senses after a grueling bit of combat. They slowly start to stand, Tony using the ropes to bring himself to his feet. Ned leans his back against the corner post, as the fans continue to cheer for the two incredible athletes. Ned and Tony stand within the center of the squared-circle, seemingly about to shake hands in a show of sportsmanship.... when SUDDENLY--



'X Gonna Give it to Ya" hits, and the audience gives a mixed reaction. The lights are overcome with a dark, blood red crimson hue. The X-Tron is hijacked, static quickly filling the screen. The lights around the ring are cut off, and the fans, as well as Ned & Tony, are left in silent bewilderment.... The fans eventually begin taking out their cell phones to snap pictures... A muffled voice speaks through the speakers, as the Tron is now overcome by a big, flashing crimson 'X'....

....before ALL of the lights cut out, and then?? Amongst the sea of darkness, the Tron lights up with a cryptic message --



The XWF Galaxy is truly beginning to come unglued...

PIP: This reeks of one of the XWF's newest signees, the masked man [woman?] that goes by the moniker, "red-x".

Heather: He's only been on the roster a couple of days, hasn't had a match yet, and he's STILL already sending shockwaves through the company!!!

A spotlight shines in the middle of the ring, where none other than 'red-x' himself is standing center stage [just gonna go ahead and presume it's a 'he'] ..... He is carrying the same black baseball bat he had in the parking lot at the top of the show. Kaye & Santos stand unsure of who this is, or what exactly he's here for.

Ned comes in to speak with the anonymous new kid on the block, but receives a cheap shot from the baseball bat. The bat connects with Ned's gut, doubling the Notorious One over. Red-x then strikes Ned on the small of the back, dropping the indie darling to the mat. Tony comes up from behind to assault Red-X, but X feels Tony's breath down the back of his neck. The crimson crusader swings around and smacks Tony Santos right in the face with his big black bat ( see-wut-i-did-thurr?! XD ) square on the jaw, toppling the XWF icon with one blow.

Ned and Tony roll out of the ring, as the spotlight focuses on Red-X. He asks for a microphone, which he grabs with the hand that isn't holding the baseball bat. The spotlight is shining brightly on X, as he holds the mic in one hand, and the bat resting over his shoulder with the other... X gazes out at the sea of fans, as they are already starting to like this guy.

Red peers out at the Galaxy, readying to speak.... when instead, he drops the microphone, to scattered jeers, and the masked man rolls out of the ring, hearing a couple of cheers, but mostly boos. red-x dissapears thru the curtains, as the spotlight shuts down, soon replacebd by the normal arena lights.

Heather: Well, I'm a bit shocked... this new guy was seemingly ready to make some sort of announcement, but instead he dropped the mic without a word...

PIP: I dunno about this guy, Red-X, but here's hoping that he turns things around and adds to the list of fresh faces propelling the XWF into the second decade of the millenium!! Next up, our main event between Chris Chaos and Robbie Bourbon.

Heather: Oughta be a barn-burner!!! Stay tuned....

---

MATCH #6: PETER GILMOUR - vs - CENTURION FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE

The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then see fire emiting from the ramp after a bell tolls a few times. We then hear "SUCK MY DICK" blast from the PA and the crows begins to go ape shit. "FUCK EVERYBODY" by Steel Panther begins to kick in as res strobe lights and lasers hit the stage. We see Peter Gilmour and his demon assassin Valerie Sky appear on the stage. They look around as Peter bobs his head to the music. As soon as the chorus kicks in we see Peter start singing into the camera saying, "EVERYBODY CAN SUCK MY DICK!" They head to the chamber and then Peter then throws his hands up in an "X" pose as fire and fireworks go off above the chamber in the same manner. Peter looks at Valerie and smiles wickedly as they get into the ring to await Peter's opponent.


Centurion walks down to the ring with the Hart Title proudly placed over his shoulder. He hopes into the ring, and waits for the bell to ring.


PC: “The Hart Championship is on the line here!”

HHL: “How does Peter Gilmour keep getting these title shots?”

PC: “What do you mean? He’s Peter FUCKING Gilmour!”


DING! DING! DING!


The bell sounds as Centurion and Peter Gilmour circle around. The two lock up, but Centurion sweeps to the side before hitting a Russian leg sweep. He rolls through and climbs to his feet. He hits the ropes as Peter rises back to his feet before Centurion rushes toward him with a raised knee strike the dots Peter right on the nose! Peter hits the ropes and bounces back towards Centurion who side-steps him and grabs the side of Peter before lifting him up…


PC: “THE 1000 MILE SLAM!”

HHL: “No! Peter just raked his eyes!”


Centurion steps away clutching at his eyes in pain as Peter Gilmour gives him a crotch chop before hitting the ropes and nailing a clothesline turning Centurion inside-out! Peter hits the ropes before leaping high into the air and coming down with all of his weight in a leg drop. Centurion spasms from the impact clutching his throat before rolling to his feet using the ropes to pull himself up. Gilmour charges for another clothesline only for Centurion to lower his shoulder to send Gilly flying to the outside!


PC: “He just came down hard!”

HHL: “Something I hear he excels at…”

PC: “Oh that’s just…”


Gilmour hits the floor as Centurion rubs his throat for a moment before rolling out of the ring. Peter slowly gets back to his feet only for Centurion to nail him a dropkick sending him over the barricade and into the XWF faithfuls. The crowd begins patting and rubbing on Peter. One hand even reaches down and grabs a handful of that Super Dick!

The feeling of his nether region being grasped seems to supercharge Gilly as he kips up to his feet. A grin spreads across his face, but, before he can do anything, a steel chair crashes down upon his head! Gilly staggers back as Centurion swings again!

But Gilly catches it!


HHL: “Oh, he’s in for it now!”

PC: “You won’t like him when he’s horny!”


Gilly throws the chair aside before stepping up onto the barricade and leaping down towards him with his elbow outstretched! The diving elbow sends Centurion back into the apron. Gilly gets back to his feet before loading Centurion up and dropping him forward for a Falcon’s Arrow! Centurion clutches at his neck and back in pain as he slams down onto the floor. Gilmour reaches underneath the ring and pulls out a table as the crowd cheers with glee. He kicks out the legs and sets it up at ringside before motioning towards Centurion and giving another crotch chop to the audience’s enjoyment.

He pulls Centurion up onto the apron before climbing up himself. He pulls Centurion between his legs before locking his arms underneath his legs getting ready for the…



DEATHSTRIKE!

But Centurion manages to reverse the move into a back body drop sending Gilmour right through the set-up table!


PC: “Well that didn’t go as Peter predicted!”


Centurion leaps onto him for a cover as this match is indeed a Falls Count Anywhere match! The referee slides into position.















ONE…













TWO…


















TH-KICKOUT! Gilly gets his shoulder up!


Centurion staggers back to his feet before reaching underneath the ring and pulling out what appears to be a golf bag.


PC: “Is this really the time for a game of golf?”

HHL: “Look at his eyes! He’s got other plans for that club!”


Centurion pulls out a nine-iron and begins sizing up Gilmour as he slowly pulls himself up out of the wreckage of the table. Gilmour pulls himself to his feet.

WHACK!

The golf club makes contact with the boys downstairs for Gilmour whose face goes white from the impact! He falls to his knees as Centurion places the end of the club underneath Gilly’s chin. Before swinging!


HHL: “OW!”

PC: “Gilly might be missing some teeth after that direct hit.”


Gilmour falls backwards as Centurion places a boot upon his chest.









ONE…



















TWO…










KICKOUT!


Centurion just lifts his club again and brings it down upon the ribs of Gilmour!

And again!

And again!

And ag-

Peter grabs Centurion’s club!

He slowly rises as his cheek is now swelling from the impact of the club. He yanks Centurion close before wrapping his hands around his head and twisting him into…


THE GILMOUR CUTTER!!!!




The modified cutter plants Centurion into the floor with both men out of it! Peter doesn’t even have enough to get the cover.


PC: “Cover him, Peter! We could have a new champion here!”

HHL: “Gilly’s moving!”


Sure enough, Gilmour is beginning to inch his way towards Centurion and throws an arm over him.
ONE…











TWO…












THREEE!!!!!!
















We have a new champion!!!!!










































Wait!












NO!







Centurion managed to get a shoulder up at the VERY last second! Peter Gilmour looks at the referee in sheer disbelief before slowly pushing away from Centurion. Both men are spent as they slowly rise up to their feet. Centurion begins walking up the ramp, but not before grabbing his title. He slings it over his shoulder and it seems like he’s done with this match!


HHL: “Is Centurion saying fuck this match?”

PC: “It sure seems like he’s done fighting with Gilly.”


Gilmour sees this and runs up the ramp and grabs Centurion by the arm and whips him around.

TITLE SHOT TO THE FACE!

Gilmour staggers backwards before slamming down onto the rampway. Centurion quickly leaps into the cover motioning for the referee to hurry up and get into place.













ONE…








HHL: “That was a great trick by the Hart Champion!”

PC: “You don’t hold a championship without pulling out all the stops to retain it!”















TWO…
















TH-NO! Peter manages to kick out!



Centurion looks down at Peter with disgust before slowly pulling him up to his feet, but Peter rolls up Centurion!














ONE…











KICKOUT!





Centurion quickly gets to his feet while swinging that title right into the face of Peter once more hitting the Angle Slam!





1,000 MILE SLAM!









Centurion covers him!





















ONE…






























TWO…






























THREEEEEE!

Winner - AND STILL XWF HART CHAMPION Centurion

The match is over as Centurion’s hand is raised high. He’s handed his championship title as he looks down at the Hart Championship before smirking.


“YO CENT, OPEN CHALLENGE PART TWO!”


Centurion turns around to see Vita Valenteen’s foot quickly approaching his face! SUPERKICK! The kick knocks Centurion off of his feet. VV reaches down and grabs the arm of Centurion and begins to turn him over before she feels resistance. She looks down too late to realize that Centurion has pulled her mace from her tights!

She backs away clutching her eyes in pain as Centurion rises to his feet holding his jaw. Cent tosses the mace away. He grins as he pulls up his Hart Championship and rushes her!

TITLE SHOT TO THE DOME!


Vita slams down having been completely blindsided by the mace. Centurion grabs her legs and turns her over into a Boston Crab with Vita crying out in pain.

FALL OF ROME!!



She’s reaching out trying to find anything to break the hold, but there’s just nothing to aid her! Centurion pulls back on the hold before putting a knee on Vita’s head drilling her face into the hard metal of the stage.

Vita’s strength is quickly sapped from her as she slumps forward with her arms no longer reaching for salvation. Centurion releases the hold as he just throws her legs forward onto the steel. He motions for a microphone before leaning down.


Centurion: I’ll take that as you accepting. At the January Pay-Per-View, we find out if your sneak attacks have resulted in anything more than just your embarrassment. See you soon.


Centurion drops the microphone as his theme song begins to play. He brings a thumb across his Hart Championship as he backs away as if cherishing every moment with the gold.

---

Here we go guys the Main event of the XWf Highland Games - The Tug of War. The only person not to turn up is Jim Jimson. Which immediately puts Thunder Kuckles and Calvary on the back foot, but somehow they manage to get out of the gate by almost catching Robbie Bourbon, Peter Gilmour and Boris, off guard.

But thanks to Robbie Bourbon, he manages to get control back, but not before Thunder Knuckles and Calvary manages to have enough strength to pull the rope back further towards the line.

But in the end the numbers were too much, and Robbie Bourbon's weight. He with the help of Peter and Boris manages to pull the rope back towards them, and then have enough strength to pull the rope towards the famous mark.

WINNERS OF THE XWF TUG OF WAR: ROBBIE BOURBON, PETER GILMOUR, AND BORIS

---

ROBBIE BOURBON - vs - CHRIS CHAOS IRON MAN MATCH - 30 MINUTE TIME LIMIT

The lights in the arena go blue.

The XTron displays static, which slowly gives way to the word "MOTHERFUCKER" and the crowd starts to go ballistic. As the opening sounds to Orangutan permeate throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Robbie Bourbon. He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the chamber. Robbie climbs the steps, then raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison:

*FUCK 'EM UP, ROBBIE, FUCK 'EM UP!*FUCK 'EM UP, ROBBIE, FUCK 'EM UP!*WEDNESDAY NIGHT WRECKER, FUCK 'EM UP!*

Robbie enters the ring, and waits for his opponent.


The words "FOLLOW ME" show up on the X-Tron screen as smoke billows at the entrance. Blue and white lights flicker. At the 10 second mark, he steps through the smoke wearing his jacket (Rated R Edge trench coat). Looking to both sides of the crowd. He walks slowly to the ring. Jumps inside and waits for the bell to ring.


Chris Chaos is all smug and pomposity as the bell rings and he swaggers to the middle to meet Robbie Bourbon, who just stands stoically with his arms relaxed at his sides as if contemplating what flavor of milk shake to get after the match.

Chaos has a few words for the big man, then raises a hand in the air to challenge him to a test of strength. Robbie howls with laughter, which seems to piss Chaos off, and Chaos uses his free hand to slap Bourbon across the mask. That gets Rob’s attention fully focused on the task at hand and when Chaos raises his arm up again Bourbon eagerly meets it with his own catcher’s mitt-sized hand. Chaos throws a sucker punch with his free hand but Rob catches it in his, now the two men stand hand in hand as if performing an Eiffel Tower on an invisible woman. Chaos bears down and braces his legs, pushing with all of his strength but not moving Bourbon an inch. Bourbon then thrusts forward and shoves Chaos, sending him in a backwards somersault into a corner where the back of his head becomes acutely familiar with the bottom turnbuckle.

PIP: “Robbie flexing his muscles…”

Bourbon heads into the corner to meet Chaos but Chaos quickly launches himself feet first into Bourbon’s knee and lower leg, causing Robbie to stumble and trip into the corner himself as Chaos moves away. Chaos looks pleased with himself for finally thinking to use his agility to his advantage against a much larger opponent, but Robbie doesn’t seem impressed. He just twists his head in his hands to crack his neck and then goes back to slowly stalking Chris across the ring.

HEATHER: “And Chaos flexing his brain!”

Chaos keeps a mid range distance, but isn’t able to close in well enough to take any real shots. Bourbon has himself planted firmly in the center of the ring with Chris Chaos circling, and anytime Chaos looks like he might make a move, Bourbon tries to trap him between his broad body and the ropes. Bourbon nearly snares him in a quick bear hug at one point but Chaos manages to duck under Rob’s beefy arms and ends up applying a rear waist lock on Bourbon, looking for a German. Robbie just leans forward to prevent Chaos from getting him in the lift, though, and grabs him by the wrists. Chaos struggles but can’t keep Robbie from pulling his arms apart. Robbie then spins around and grabs Chaos in a waist lock of his own, lifting him up and around in a big belly to belly suplex!

PIP: “That impact nearly knocked me out of my chair, Heather!”

HEATHER: “Your booster?”

PIP: “Hurtful.”

Rob keeps his weight on Chaos and snags a two count but can’t hold him down for three. Robbie holds his fingers together mere inches from Chaos’ face, letting him know just how close he came to scoring the first fall, and then he allows himself a glance at the clock.

21:33

PIP: “Robbie looks shocked that that much time has gone by, but these two definitely have enough smarts to play it safe in the early going here.”

Robbie gives Chaos the bum’s rush just as Chaos gets back to his feet, plowing him over with a massive lariat that turns Chaos inside out. Chaos scrambles to the ropes holding his jaw, checking with his finger to make sure he didn’t lose any teeth. Bourbon stays on him, dragging Chaos backward by his ankle and then hooking his arms around his legs and lifting him into a wheelbarrow suplex, reversing the momentum halfway through and dropping Chaos onto his front as he sits out.

HEATHER: “Big impact on Chaos, he got rocked!”

PIP: “Robbie with the cover!”


1!








































2!!






























Chaos rolls a shoulder off the mat to escape losing a fall.

Bourbon grabs a handful of Chris’s hair and pulls him up into a standing position, then rotates for a rolling discus forearm, but Chaos finds the wherewithal to duck under, sending Rob into a spin. When Bourbon comes back around, Chaos grabs him by the head and drops to his own knees, slamming Bourbon’s mouth shut on the top of Chaos’s skull with a devastating jawbreaker. Robbie’s inertia slams him onto the mat back-first, giving Chaos the time he needs to get his bearings.

Robbie isn’t down for long, but as he stands up he eats a huge superkick to the mush from Chaos! The Wrong Side of the Tracks lands flush and Rob is down and out, allowing Chaos to leap onto him and hooks a leg…


1!












































2!!

















































3!!!

FALLS Chris Chaos - 1 Robbie Bourbon - 0

PIP: “Chris Chaos with the sudden advantage, he scored that fall out of the blue and Robbie Bourbon is MAD.”

HEATHER: “Bourbon can’t believe that it was a three count, he’s saying he kicked out, but the official is counting it as a fall.”


Robbie abandons trying to plead his case to the official when he hears footsteps behind him. Turning, he meets Chaos running at him and lifts him into a pop-up spinebuster that nearly drives Chaos through the ring. Bourbon holds on for a pin!



1!



























2!!
































Chaos drives a leg into Rob’s face, breaking up the pinning combination.


Chaos jumps and plants a drop kick into the seated Bourbon’s face, though he doesn’t quite get all of it as he’s still shaken up from the Dinosaur Extinctor. Rob is knoced back and Chaos tries to catch his breath while looking up to the clock.

9:27

PIP: “Two thirds of this match has gone by, Chaos with the only fall thus far… you can tell he’s feeling good!”

HEATHER: “For sure, Chaos has a sly smile on his face now. He probably wants to try to play a little clock ball and not screw it all up in the end like the Dallas Cowboys.”


Chaos turns his attention back to Bourbon, but Robbie catches him napping and slaps a claw hold onto his head, getting to his feet and pulling Chaos up with him with the move still applied the whole time.

PIP: “Phrenology Claw from Robbie, Chaos is squirming as his skull is compressed in the big paw of the grizzly bear Robbie Bourbon!”

HEATHER: “Look out! Robbie’s switching it up!”

Robbie lifts Chaos in the claw but then slips his hand down from Chaos’s head to around his throat. Choking the life out of Chaos while he dangles in air for a moment, Robbie then jumps up and sends Chaos crashing to the canvas in a huge choke slam! EMC Squared!

5:04

Rob looks like he is going to make the cover but then he eyes the corner turnbuckles instead. Perhaps feeling a little desperate to catch up on the pinfall count, he leaves Chaos crumpled on the mat and heads for the buckles, climbing them a little more slowly than a typical luchador might.


PIP: “He’ll kill him!”

HEATHER: “Or himself!”


Robbie gets to the top and turns around to face Chaos, who is still in agony from the choke slam. Rob closes his eyes and perhaps says a little prayer, then leaps from the top rope and tucks his knees to his chest in a cannonball, crashing into Chaos with a gigantic top rope senton. Chaos is flattened, and Robbie shifts his weight to stay on top of his man.




1!





































2!!



































3!!!

FALLS Chris Chaos - 1 Robbie Bourbon - 1

Bourbon sits up with a look of satisfaction on his face, probably just glad that Chaos didn’t roll away and kill him.

Rob spies the clock.

2:02

And thinks quickly, trying to get a second consecutive pin off of the same maneuver!


1!

































2!!























Chaos kicks out.


Robbie slams his fists on the mat, knowing time is winding down. Chaos rolls out of the ring to try and gain his bearings, falling onto the concrete floor and lying with his upper body underneath the ring skirting.

Rob follows Chaos out, wanting to put things away. He pulls Chaos out from under the ring and sees Chaos has grabbed onto a steel chair! Before Chaos can do anything with it, Robbie steps on it and then snatches it away from him, tossing it up in the air where it lands in the middle of the ring.

Robbie drags Chaos to his feet and rams his back into the ring apron, then rolls hm back into the ring. He hops up and follows him in, grabbing him by his luscious blonde locks and bending him over to put him away with a Robbiebomb, glancing up at the clock one last time.

0:46

Robbie nods and grabs Chaos, lifting him high over his head ready to plant him with the Robbiest of Robbiebombs, but Chaos raises his hands… he’s got that chair!

**************CRACK!**************

Robbie falls backward and Chaos drops the chair, which is now bent nearly in half. The official races to the timekeeper and we see the pinfall tracker update.

FALLS Chris Chaos - 1 Robbie Bourbon - 2

PIP: “Chaos just lost a fall by disqualification!”

HEATHER: “He avoided the Robbiebomb, but the clock is almost up!”


Chaos jumps onto Bourbon and screams at the ref to hurry up and make a count!

0:02

1!

0:01

2!!

0:00

PIP: “The match is over! Chaos is losing his mind!”


HEATHER: “Robbie’s still out cold from that vicious attack, but he’s won tonight’s main event!”

Winner - Robbie Bourbon

---

A Big Thank You To The Following Fine Folk: Noah Jackson The Engineer Vincent Lane SBW The Calvary As well as everyone who roleplayed and submitted segments.

XWF All Time Wins Record Holder
Official XWF Legend

3x XWF Anarchy Champion

3x XWF World Champion

8x XWF Canadian Champion (Record for most Canadian Title reigns)

1x XWF Hart Champion
6x XWF X-Treme Champion
5x XWF Tag Team Champion
2x XWF United States Champion

Inaugural XWF IDL Champion 
1x XWF King of Anarchy
1x XWF King of Massacre
1x XWF Stable Champion
XWF Star Of The Month - May 2007
XWF Star Of The Month - July 2009
XWF Star Of The Month - December 2019
XWF Star Of The Month - December 2021
XWF Holiday Battle Royal Winner - 2007
Non-XWF Accomplishments:

1x UGWC World Champion

1x UGWC Conquest Champion

2x UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion
    1x DNW World Champion

1x Fight! NYC Bareknuckle Champion
  1x DW Tap Out Champion
  2x CCWF Tag Team Champion
  2x CCWF Triple Tag Champion
1x DCW International Champion
1x EHCW Tag Team Champion
1x NEWF Cruiserweight Champion
1x BAW Bad Ass Champion
1x C2W Trancontinental Champion
BAW Hall Of Fame
CCWF Hall Of Fame