---

You know how sometimes you can just tell right away if you can trust a dude? Whether it's the look in his eyes, or his name, or something about the way he re-racks the weights after using them... You can just tell within the first couple seconds of meeting a guy if you can trust him with your life, and you'll always be right.

So anyway, here we have a gentleman by the name of Pedontis Predoto. That's the name of a man you know you can trust right off the bat. He's a long time associate of Amjetkun Socio and one of the only men you'll find walking around on a sunny ass day with an open umbrella.

"Bro I don't wanna over do the fuckin' tan!"

Well that's Pedontis for ya. He thinks being in the sun an extra couple seconds will somehow make his tan uneven or some shit.

"Mind your own business if you're not man enough to rock this fuckin' look!"

Luckily he's not talking to me (or you) but just to some stupid ass teenagers walking past him and laughing at him while he stands out in front of a Chipotle. I mean the dude is well dressed and would fit in fine except for that damned pink umbrella he's got slung over his shoulder in the bright ass sun. The teens keep looking back at him and laughing as he shoots them a constipated look that could kill.

"Yeah keep walking! Dick for brains! If it rains later who's gonna be the one laughing bitch? Me! ME! Fuckin' Pedontis Predoto up in this bitch!"

Once the teens hear him shout his own name they immediately tone it down and know to take him very seriously. You do not laugh at a man named Predoto. You just don't. In fact everyone in the area has taken notice of the fact that this man is not to be laughed at. Silence. All eyes are on Pedontis as he enters the Chipotle and walks up to the counter. Anticipation. Yes, he has kept the umbrella open and held over his head. Anticipation. He looks the Chipotle employee square in the eyes and there is a momentary awkward silence (and anticipation) before Pedontis speaks...

"Yeah bro I've got an Uber Eats pick up?"

"Ah yes sir, we saw that an order came in. Let us go ahead and start on the order."

"So you wait until the person shows up to pick up the food and then you start making it?"

"Yes sir."

"Broh."

Pedontis just stares into the young man's eyeballs for a long ass time...............

"Alright well go fuckin' do it!"

The nervous white man behind the counter happily obliges and the eventual end result 20 minutes later of this epic scene is Pedontis Predoto making his exit from the Chipotle having secured the Uber Eats order someone named "Barney" had placed on the Uber Eats app. Barney had used the app hundreds of times in the past with only about 25% of those times experiencing big problems like missing items, late delivery, or shit smeared all over the bag. Barney had high hopes for today's Uber Eats order though, and today was also Pedontis Predoto's first day fuckin' around playing delivery guy for Uber Eats.

Pedontis Predoto is a name you can trust. Well, I hope this Barney fellow doesn't think he can trust a guy named Pedontis Predoto to deliver his fuckin' food to him. End scene.

---

Skipping ahead after having just met that nice fellow Pedontis Predoto, now we're back at Fuzz's safe house where Fuzz has just arrived on the scene. This was how his promo last week ended for you dickbeards who don't know. That's right Fuzz came back to the safe house to find the damn door ripped right off the hinges and a ass Amjetkun Socio just chillin' there like some punk college kid who just came home for the holidays to make a big ass mess and be an asshole. Our boy Amjetkun's got a SHIT TON of food and snacks all over the place too. Dirty socks and underwear strewn about... Bags of fast food are everywhere... A half eaten pan of lasagna sits next to a stack of already finished lasagna pans. Somehow it looks like days worth of Doritos bags and Pringles containers are all over the place and let's not even get started on the half eaten turkey carcass on the floor.

Fuzz: "Seriously? You couldn't even cook it first?"

We must assume Fuzz was looking at that half eaten turkey.

Socio: "Are you fuckin' nuts bro?!?"

Fuzz with a case of those classic "w...t...f?!?!? o_O" eyes isn't even sure how to respond. He looks around at the mess and is just dumbfounded. You'd think a bunch of teenagers spent months just trashing the place. No really there's like a year's worth of garbage here dude, it's fucked.

Fuzz: "How is it humanly possible that you got this place this messy? How long have you even been here?"

Socio: "Bro I been here for like a day, tops. Fuck it make it like a few hours dude. I dunno bro whatever floats your boat. I haven't even had time to eat."

Fuzz just stares forward, blankly. No reaction, no sign of emotion, it's like he's paralyzed. It's not even clear what he's staring at, but he's frozen still. God damn I wish there was a way to know what's going on in his head right now as Socio scoops up a handful of macaroni and cheese off the coffee table and swallows it without chewing. Socio was already staring directly into Fuzz's eyes for the last several seconds of silence but now he leans in even closer and Fuzz doesn't budge.

Socio: "Brohammer? Fuzz? You ok in there?"

Oh shit THIS JUST IN! Amjetkun Socio's shitty promo gear is getting a temporary GEAR UPGRADE so just this one time only we actually CAN know what's going through Fuzz's head right now at this very point in time while he's standing there speechless!

Fuzz thoughts: It’s time to take a deep breath and concentrate. This can’t be happening. How do we get rid of him? Think Fuzz, just think how do you get rid of an oversized, juiced out man baby? Fuck how did he make such a mess so quickly? How did he find this place….. Fucking Noah!

Fuzz's thoughts are interrupted by the sound of an unfamiliar voice saying "hello?" He spins around to see a roided up beefcake carrying several big bags of hot delicious smelling food. Amjetkun immediately recognizes the roided up beefcake and gets all happy n' shit.

Socio: "Bro! You fuckin' made it!"

The two bro's slap hands and show each other some love as some food falls out of one of the bags and spills all over the floor. Looks like several tacos along with some beans and rice are all over the floor now, that quickly. Socio and his pal don't even notice as they hug each other and are both stepping in the food.

Fuzz's mouth falls open, he's just taken away by what's happening before his eyes right here at his safe house nobody is supposed to know about!

Socio turns to Fuzz.

Socio: Bro I didn't mean to be rude let me introduce you to my boy Pedontis Predoto. We go way back bro he's cool as fuck.

Pedontis nods and goes "sup?" to Fuzz, who still seems unable to muster up the words.

Predoto: "Yo Fuzz it's good to meet you bro I heard a lotta good things. Lemme know if you need anything bro I work for Uber Eats and I just take the food like a pimp. All this food here was for some dumb bitch but I figured fuck it I bet my boy is hungry so I just found him here where his Facebook said he was at."

Fuzz's eyes. Holy fuck.

The two bro's slap hands and give each other dap or whatever you want to call their hands all over each other to say goodbye. Pedontis gets on his bike and sounds the bike chime two times as he rides off into the distance. Fuzz just looks at Socio...

Fuzz's inner brain thoughts again dude: I mean I am kind of hungry… no focus. This can’t be happening right now. I could just kill him? No one would find out about it, and I’m going to torch the house when I’m done. But fuck I need him for Saturday. I can’t think right now…..Wait are those egg rolls?

Socio has obviously taken Fuzz's silence as his cue to go take a big ass shit in the bathroom. It's the sound of the exploding diarrhea that snaps Fuzz out of his own thoughts and causes him to scream "NOOOO!"

End the fuck out of that scene!

---

Big D Said:despite all those muscles, he's probably packing a little smokey for a dick! One can only assume that's why you never see any women around him

"Bro you can't be this stupid."

The scene opens at the pool with Amjetkun's sexy ass muscles glistening in the sunlight. There looks to be around 30 to 40 very muscular women all around him. Some of the women are as muscular as him.

"Bro I seem to recall some stupid fuckin' bitchmade piece of trailer park dog shit from hell saying something about my dick being small so there are never any women around me! HAHAHA! Idiot! Good job Big D! Saying I'm never with women is like saying I'm never with pumps! What a stupid thing to say bro!"

Some of the women laugh and start to gossip among themselves. One of them has a voice that sounds exactly like Macho Man Randy Savage. 🤔 A different woman's voice is so deep it sounds like The Great Khali.

Socio is all smiles as he calls out toward the camera with a twinkle in his eye.

"Brah! You wanna know who I've never seen naked in a swimming pool with hundreds of sexy ass bitches? That fuckin' Affordable Champcare Act jagbag Big D! That same tugboy who spends a bunch of time saying rude shit about my dick!"

"Well what do you have to say now that you see me with thousands of hot fuckin' pieces of ass who all think I have a gottdamn great dick!? Look at these swolt ass muscles bro!"

He starts to flex and pose a lot of the usual bodybuilding poses like Hulk Hogan in his prime would do. Dude's jacked as fuck though let's not even lie. I'm glad Amjetkun has the sympathy to at least be honest with Big D here...

"Bro I'm thinking we gotta fuckin' problem when we get in the ring together because you can't be looking like you do and be called BIG D standing next to a gottdamn BEAST like me. Dude look at these muscle bellies. Look how full they are."

He lets the camera zoom in on the fullness of his right bicep and he flexes so hard the lens shatters.

"Wow ok holy fuck Big D dude I'm poppin' camera lenses over here I look so good and you're poppin' brain cells of everyone listening when you say stupid shit like this about my superior god given all natural hard earned genetical physiqoids...

Big D Said:"I'm not worried about Amjetkun Socio," I stated, a smug look on my face. "Brawn can only get him so far. He may have the size and strength advantage, but I've got the brains and I'm already using 'em before our match has even begun!"

Amjetkun starts to laugh as he claps for Big D and gets all the women around him to give Big D a big round of applause.

"We're all so proud of you! You're using your brains before our match begun bro!"

He's clapping and laughing his ass off. All the ladies are clapping and laughing their asses off too. Nobody even wonders where the clips are being played from. Several women wearing only loin cloths and no tops come out from the back and bring drinks out to everyone and even these random half naked servant women are laughing at Big D's dumb ass.

"Yay Big D! You go buddy! You used the brains before the match!"

Socio lowers himself so his mouth is at water level and he starts opening his mouth like a large fish, taking in massive gulps of pool water while the muscle women all enjoy the beverages the other women brought them. Once he's done drinking, he starts to rise up as water runs down over his super sexy fuckin' muscles and it's such a sexy scene. So, so sexy of a scene as he gets ready to talk more.

"Big D you're a joke. You just watched as like a bazillion hot chicks laughed the fuckin' ballsac off you bro. They laughed it clean off! We don't even need to have a match now because there's no point in me trying to punch you in the dick if there's no balls behind it because that's just weird bro! I mean, imagine punching a dick. Just a dick danglin' there all by itself. No balls to back it up. No support behind the thing. FUCK THAT! I won't do it bitch! Hell no I won't! BIG D GOTTDAMMIT I SAID I WON'T PUNCH YOUR LONELY ASS DICK!"

Socio is splashing around in the pool like crazy as he screams like a nut bag. Right now it pretty much would appear to the naked eye that the water has pissed him off and he's angrily slapping the water and then waiting a couple seconds before slapping it again, like he's smacking some dumb bitch and then waiting a few seconds to see if she moves again.

"Fuckin' bitch!"

While this is going on, one of the women brings a small mirror with a line of white powder on it and Amjetkun gets happier than a Big D receiving another 500 free title shots! THAT'S HAPPY AS FUCK, just in case that somehow wasn't obvious **cough** Big D sucks **cough**

"Just what the BIGGEST MAN on campus ordered! Crushed muh'fuckin' steroids broh! And I'm prescribed the shit legally by my doctor bro so don't nobody try and get me in some shit with the freakin' cops!"

Another woman holds a straw in place over the line of crushed steroids so Amjetkun can easily snort the whole thing like a god damn baller up in this bitch. Just so we're clear, that single line of steroid powder was about the length and width of a roll of Lifesavers candy and not one speck remains on the mirror. Fuck dude he's licking the mirror anyway. Haha wow this meat head drops the mirror in the water and starts slapping at his own face, still sniffing and snorting as hard as he can to make sure any remaining powder at the edge of his nostrils makes its way up where it so desperately needs to be.

"Fuckuhhh myeah!"

His eyes are getting BIG as fuck, rolling around in his head kind of like he's possessed. The veins and tendons in his neck are popping out like crazy. He starts moving around in a jerky way like he's a zombie or some gay shit.

"(inaudible gibberish)"

Foam is coming down out of his nostrils as he passes the fuck out and just instantly sinks to the bottom of the pool like a ton of bricks.

That loud splash is the camera(man?) jumping into the pool and lowering down to the bottom where Amjetkun Socio is just reclining on the floor of the pool, watching that underwater clip of underwater Big D proudly talking about using his underwater brain. Socio looks at the camera and gives like the biggest thumbs up in the entire freakin' world EVAR!

(underwater talking/bubbly effects n' shit)"He UsEd HiS bRaIn BeFoRe ThE mAtCh BrO!!!"

This is one of those times where you can literally tell the bubbles rising up out of Socio's mouth are:
   1) On steroids
   2) Also super proud of (and/or mocking) Big D's big brain accomplishment
   3) Better at rising to the top on their first try than Big D's dumb ass, because they didn't fail to float up only to then have to find gay ass ways to get 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 100th chances to finally get it right like that loser Big D had to spend decades doing!

Somehow it took a little longer than usual but that thing that happens when a scene has made it past the point of no return and absolutely cannot be salvaged, happens.

---

Yo bro, you wanna know what speaks fuckin' volumes? Having to just sneak a little addition onto the end of your promo because you totally forgot some fuckin' nutchin pedocuck from planet shit ass was also in your match! Ha ha! HAHAHA! Fuck dude I couldn't make this shit up if I tried but Donovan Blackwater you piece of smelly ass dog shit, you are that void I had to struggle to fill the fuck up. Trying to remember to talk about your gay ass is kinda like trying to cum when you're fuckin' some street whore that's got a bad case of wind tunnel syndrome! It just ain't natural bro, it's forced as fuck. AND WE ALL KNOW I AM ALL ABOUT NATURAL!

Boy I think I already said all I need to say last week when I said something about you and your stupid dick wad brother. It's like, bruh, I don't even remember what I said about you because you suck that much but I'm telling you I fuckin' know I talked about your dumb ass last week.

With a brain as good as mine and a memory as sharp as the best needle money can buy, I think it's about time to just do it bro:

Pretend I took the time to make a MEME and on it you see Donovan Blackwater's ugly ass face ok? Ok so at the top part of the MEME you see the words: They don't always remember to talk about me And then at the bottom of it you see it says: But when they do, nobody remembers it😢