“So Sick!”

Noah stood there swishing his tail back and forth. Knocking into the walls without a care in the world. I quickly take off the rappel harness. Noah continues swishing about when I grab him by the shoulder.

“Knock it off. We need to get out of here ASAP. It’s not safe for me to be out here exposed for this long. Sarah isn’t going to be happy about what happened Thursday, I’m still the X-Treme champion. You need to get ready to go…”

Noah drops his head and begins to take off the dinosaur costume. It was quite odd seeing Noah the Sunday after Savage wearing the Dino suit again, but he figured better late than never to the party.

We began walking towards the parking lot, when there was a loud crash. I admit, I jumped like a little bitch and quickly swung my head around.

“What the fuck was that!?”

Noah bolts ahead, and comes back shrugging his shoulders.

“Nothing.”

“No Seriously Noah… what was it?” I sheepishly said while rubbing my neck. Noah walks over to where the noise was again, and once again returns.

“Seriously you old cunt… nothing. Lets go.”

“I need to get back to the safe house…”

“I’m aware.”

I know some people would think hiding in a safe house as some sort of sign of weakness. I understand it, but the reality is in order to accomplish everything I want, I need to do anything necessary to keep the title around my waist. The last round of the Lethal Lottery opened my eyes. I could easily lose this title, and I wouldn’t even be my fault. I’m slowly starting to regret entering this fucking thing, but I’m still here.

“Noah did they release the next round match-ups?”

Noah shakes his head no. He pulls out his own phone and orders up an Uber.

“That’s a change. Its nice to see you taking this one.”

“Nah pops, I just signed in as you on my phone, this way I don’t have to constantly take your phone from you. Why are you so concerned with the next round of Lethal Lottery? You know that you’re going to win no matter who your partner is, it’s not like you can be paired up with that cunt Liam.”

“True, but Mastermind is totally still in play.”

Noah’s eyes go wide.

“Wait that cunt is still in it and I’m not!”

“Yup.”

I guess I must’ve struck a nerve with Noah. It’s the first time in what seems like forever that he’s quiet. I find it relaxing, but now I’m just lost in my own thoughts. That’s a dangerous place to be right now. The paranoia is becoming a burden that I can’t deal with. I mean I know one way I can deal with it, but that just isn’t an option right now. I need to keep a clear head right now. I know that Big D and I just won, but who knows what the next round holds.

The Ube pulls up, and we both quickly hop into the car. The driver checks the mirror as Noah just aimlessly stares out the window. The guy gives me a smile, and I just nod. Noah glances over to me and shakes his head.

“You ever think if all of this is actually worth it?”

“What the fuck are you on about Noah?”

“I mean, we are constantly on the run now that you’re the X-Treme champion.” Noah begins to drum on his thighs. “I want to go back to when you and I were just hanging out having fun again. There wasn’t any stress, but now that you’re a champion. It feels as if you’ve put us on the back burner.”

“Noah that’s the furthest thing from the truth.” I reach over and place a hand on his shoulder. “ I haven’t put us on the backburner. Actually quite the contrary. With this title there is no denying us anymore. You have been nothing less than stellar as my eyes and ears to the world. I know it seems like we aren’t where we want to be, but that’s ok. I know you don’t take much advice from me, because you don’t need it, but take this.” I pause for a moment and take a deep breath. “ Sometimes you have to slow play everything. I have said this so many times that it’s become almost a cliche, but in chess the Pawns go first. I know you don’t see the full picture yet, but trust me…. The Sick Cunts aren’t going anywhere.”

Noah nods his head, and pulls out his phone and tosses it on my lap.

“The matchups came out about an hour ago. I was just enjoying fucking around in our Dino Suits.”

I quickly open up the phone, and pull up Youtube. Noah and I sit there watching and waiting for my name to be called. Of course I was one of the last ones called. My head sinks down into my waiting hands.

“At least it wasn’t Mastermind….”

“Oh fuck off Noah. What the fuck is an Aklfdjg Socio?”

“I don’t think you said that right…”

“I don’t care, Noah. This is the end Noah. This right here is the end of the fucking line. It was all fun and games making D do all the work last round. That’s now not an option if I want to move onto the next round”

“Well I mean, just make sure he eats the pin.”

“That’s the problem Noah…. I don’t want to lose. I want to move on, it’s all apart of the plan.”

Noah snatches his phone from me and quickly puts it in his pocket.

“Well then fuck the plan. You’ve got a plan B right?”

Of course I do, but that’s not the point. I don’t want to resort to that option. I was content with just allowing everyone else to do the heavy lifting, and saving all my energy for the finals.

“Yeah.”

“And that is what exactly?”

“Well it’s simple Noah… I need to remind everyone that I’m a Legend, and I’m one of the Sickest Cunts in the XWF!”

“Fuck Yeah!”

Noah and I do our super secret handshake as the car pulls up to the safe house. Noah and I slowly walk towards the door. Noah’s phone begins to buzz, and he answers.

“What do you mean he didn’t say happy birthday?... Wha…. Huh?.... Fine I’m on my way. I’ll see if I can flag the Uber again. Bye.”

“Something wrong Noah?”

“Vita is having…. A moment.”

“I understand. I think I can get into the safehouse by myself.”

Noah runs off into the night, I let out a sigh as I begin to walk towards the house as the camera fades to black.

The Afterthought

Ok, let's just get all of this out into the open, I am not a coward. I’ve heard what everyone is saying about my tactic to keep this title around my waist. Big D doing most of the heavy lifting in our match, hiding in a safe house, but guess what? It’s worked hasn’t it? I mean look at everything from my perspective, I’m on the upswing. Since I’ve become a champion, again, here in the XWF I haven’t lost. I constantly have to look over my shoulder. I just never know when BWP is going to burrow under my house with a small Mexican Militia, or if is going to run at me in the buff. So yeah, I bought a safe house, but really how safe has it kept me? It hasn’t, if anything attempts on my title have increased since I’ve been in “hiding”, but still here I stand. I’ve found a way to advance in Lethal Lottery, and am still X-Treme champion.

So yes once again, for another round I’ve got a boulder tied to my ankle. I don’t know what the fuck a Socio is, but if there is one thing I know, he’ll listen better than Big D. No one could possibly be dumber than him. I mean Socio got along with Vita, and that says something to me. If she can put some small amount of faith in him, so can I. So Socio, this is for you….

Don’t Fuck this Up for me.

Speaking of fuck ups… What’s crackin’ D? Long time no see. How did it feel to continually be a pawn in my game of chess? I know to you it seems like a weak way to continue in this business, I mean you said it yourself to my face. How long did you hold onto this title? That’s right, three whole weeks, and here I am on the cusp of getting the briefcase that comes along with it. That’s what you were trying to do right? I mean sure that’s what everyone hopes to do when they get this title, but for you this title was your ticket.

It was your ticket to getting that one on one Universal title shot you think you deserve. Well here’s the cold hard truth for you, in the list of people deserving of a shot you fall somewhere between Mastermind and Liam Roberts. In other words, nowhere near that title. The XWF faithful would rather gouge their own eyes out before they watch you with the top belt. There’s a reason why I was so upset when you purchased your TV title shot. It wasn’t because I didn’t want Thad to lose, it was because I wanted him to face someone worth a damn.

“BUT FUZZ I WON!”

Yeah I know, but that still doesn’t take away the fact that you backdoored your way into the match. You basically stole that shot from a handicapped kid. How does that feel? Knowing that you took away the only opportunity he’ll ever get….. Wait he lost to Centurion for the Hart Title? Hmm, either way D, this is going to go the same route as what happened at Relentless. I’m going to constantly prove to you, that you in fact don’t deserve to be in the same ring as me. Hell the public doesn’t deserve to say my and your name in the same breath, it’s a waste of oxygen. From now on they will just call you, that guy Fuzz destroys every time their paths cross. Yet it’s not just you I have to worry about is it D?

We have the Brothers Blackwater. Well that seems like a stretch, it’s just Donovan. Maybe. I don’t know can anyone tell who’s going to show up this time. Well I’m going to work under the assumption that it is in fact Donovan. I’ve never been in the ring with a Blackwater so I have no idea what to expect….

Wait yeah I do.

Nothing but disappointment. Well I mean aren’t you the same guy that “caused” your current partner his Universal Title shot? Aren’t you the one he constantly blames for not being the champion now? Yup that’s you. I almost forgot you were even in this company still. I actually mean that from the bottom of my heart. All I know about you is what is needed. I know that you are nothing less than worthless. You had some sort of clout, but every time you peek your head back in, you get decapitated almost immediately.

For fuck sake, how many of you are there? Is it like the snake of Hydra? Cut one off and two more appear? Which one are you today? Are you Larry? Moe? Or Curly? The difference is this time you have to bring along Shemp. It must be difficult having to carry Big D, good thing there are three of you in order to get it done. You shouldn’t have any issue with him. He’s very easily swayed, it’s really easy, the problem with all of this is simple.

All you are to Big D is an excuse. Hell you have a pre built in hatred. Now you can cause a lot more damage than good. You can cause him to leave the Lethal Lottery tournament, hell you can cause him to leave empty handed. I can easily break all the rules that Vinny has made very apparent, I can legally win and have two titles.

How’s that for Dripping in gold? You know it’s something I’ve done every time I pop my head back into this company. It doesn’t matter about the Era, it doesn’t matter who the talent is. The bottom line is always the same… Fuzz is a champion. Deal with it. The reality of the fact is I know that everyone looks at me as the Old Guy, but let’s all be honest. You guys would suck a dick to be for a second. You just salivate at the fact that you would actually feel like people care about you. You’d actually feel what it’s like being a Legend.

It must make both you know sad knowing that I’ve done something neither of you have done. I’ve actually held the Universal title. You guys wish for that opportunity. I’ve been there, and trust me when I say this, there is literally nothing I can’t or won’t do to get back to the top. So if you think that a one week arraignment will stop the freight train on the tracks, you have another thing coming. I won’t allow you two, who have done nothing, stop me from moving on.

Sure the randomness of the Lottery brought this match to fruition, but let's be honest for a moment. This match was basically destined to be. This was brought to me on a silver platter. This is my opportunity to break Big D again, and take another title from him. It’s my opportunity to make the Brothers look like fuck wits. And it allows me to easily move onto the next round. The only question I have, with all that gold around my waist what will I do at the PPV?
I mean I have no problem fighting 6 times in a night, but I don’t think the XWF can do that for insurance reasons. I guess when I take that title away from D, I’ll just hand it over to Socio. I mean that is if he earned it from his actions in the match, otherwise the Sick Cunts will both have singles gold. Everything's coming up Fuzz and there isn’t anything you assholes can do about it.

Beating the both of you, will be a nice feather in my cap.

So this is where I’m going to leave this off at. I don’t want you guys to be mad that you drew me in this round. I want you both to realize that come Lethal Lottery, you guys will be able to relax. You won’t have the stress of having to compete. Meanwhile I’ll have to figure out another partner, and what I’m going to do with two titles around my waist.

I know that it’s not going to last long, but just imagine. Within a few weeks I could easily be X-Treme, TV, TAG, and Briefcase holder. Now tell me that doesn’t sound about right. Oh yeah I forget, compared to you guys, I’m the 1%...

The Rich get richer I guess.

---

The wind has picked up since Noah ran off. Oh well, it’s just good to finally be home. I can finally sit down, relax and not worry about anything. I’ll be able to decompress. As I approached the door I notice that it’s open.

“Hmm, that’s weird.”

I guess Noah just left the door open. It’s not the worst thing he’s done recently. I cautiously walk up towards the door. This wouldn’t be the first time that someone found this place. As far as safe houses go, this one isn’t hidden very well. I mean Noah geo-tags himself here about once a week. I peer into the house, I don’t see anything. Except for one thing.

“Where the fuck is my door?”

It looks like the door was just ripped right off of the hinges and tossed aside against the stairway. There is some broken glass on the ground that crunches with every step.


“What the fuck happened….”

I slowly walk towards the back of the house. I check every corner and room that I walk past. I haven’t seen anything or anyone. Nothing seems to be missing. I slowly approach the back living room. The TV is on and casting a low glow around the room. That’s when I see it, and large man sitting in the living room. Feet kicked up on the coffee table. I can’t make anything out as the TV is backlighting him.

“Hhh-hh—-hello?”

The hulking man takes his feet off of the table and stands up, and turns towards me. Before I know it there is Socio standing there right in front of me, goofy smile on his face.

“What the fuck are you doing here? How did you find this place? What the fuck is going on?”

All of the questions must’ve broken his brain. We both stood there staring at each other for what felt like hours, but in reality was a few seconds.

“The door was unlocked. Hope you don’t mind….”

*Sigh* “Well….fuck.”

Camera Fades.