Lux, Azrael, and Joachim appear again in a glistening white chamber of pearlescent marble. White linens hang from the walls in rivulets and....

BLLLLLLLLEEEAAARRRGGHHHHH!

Oh damn it, Jo's puking AGAIN!

I'm surprised you have any left!

Jo coughs out the remains of his sputum and drags a forearm across his mouth. Yeah, that's never gonna NOT suck.

Sorry kid. Azrael says sheepishly, offering him a handkerchief to finish cleaning himself off.

Ok! Back to business. The entire chamber is cast in fine marble that seems to glisten under a strange glow of an unknown source that illuminates the room. In fact, it almost seems like the air itself is alive with light, negating the need for any further light source. Two immense armored Paladins beckon them to come forth and pull aside two double doors inlaid with gold. Moving past them, the trio appears in another chamber made from the same pristine marble, but this one is affixed something like a court room. Their foot steps crack against the marble floor, offering up the only noise in the room. The only noise until....

JO! Engy shouts and rushes the group, damn near tackling Joachim to the floor as he envelops him in a hug! Joachim can't resist a joyous laugh as he returns his father's hug. Engy then holds Jo out in front of him. Look at your old man!

Joachim looks down to take Engy in. Engy is wearing a white satin robe. He's freshly shaven and above all healthy. The ravages of his cancer seem to have been completely wiped away, returning him to a vitality and strength he had not seen in months. The sight of it moves Jo to tears.

Dad...you look great! He whispers.

Yeah, it's kinda nice to not have a tube up my dick. He then takes note of Lux and Azrael. Oh shit guys! He takes hold of Azrael, and then Lux, swamping each of them with a back clapping hug. Just in time to see me sent to hell!

You're not going to hell, Dex. Azrael tuts.

Lux nods in agreement. You literally set the reset button on the end of the world. Dexter, you're a hero.

Attention! A commanding voice booms from the front of the court. A middle aged man is seated behind a sprawling lectern. He's wearing armor similar to the Paladins, but it seems to be lighter and more ceremonial in nature. His head is ringed by golden yellow shoulder length hair and a brilliant halo hovers over his scalp. The man beckons them all forward as the Paladins close ranks behind them, ushering them ahead. The man, who is clearly some kind of judge, looks at Azrael, Lux, and Joachim in turn. You're living. He states matter of factly.

We are, sir. I realize this is rather unorthodox but....

Yes Mr. Erebus, it is. But on the grounds that Mr. Brights adjudication is, in it of itself rather unorthodox, I will allow it.

Thank you, sir.

Now Mr. Bright, you understand why you are here?

Ayyyuuup. Lux shivs Engy in the back with an elbow. I mean, yessir!

Good. So let me explain how this will work. We have already taken a measure of the balance of your good deeds and transgressions.

Okay.

These.... the judge holds up a stack of papers....are your good deeds.

Oh, word!

The record of your transgressions however could not fit within the confines of this court room.

Joachim groans behind Engy. Engy turns towards towards his friends with a hand cupped over his mouth. Is that bad?

It's not quite good. Azrael replies with a tight lipped terseness.

Mr. Bright! Engy wheels back around to face the judge. The process of your adjudication is not yet complete. There is one final step. You must confront and account for two of your transgressions in person right here and now.

Engy looks confused. The judge sighs and rolls his eyes. You have to say you're sorry to people you have done bad things to and really, really mean it.

Oh I can do that! Engy flashes the judge a thumbs up.

One of your trans-hmmmm “bad things” has been selected at random. However, because priority is given to the sin of murder, you WILL have to confront someone whose life you ENDED.

Lux and Joachim both shoot Azrael a nervous look. Joachim puts a hand on Engy's shoulder, giving it a brief supportive tap.

Please have a seat while we strap you in. The judge gestures to a nearby table with a strange silvery device on it. The face of the device is littered with gauges and displays. One of the Paladins takes Engy over to the table and gestures for him to sit down. He then proceeds to affix a number of sensors and doodads to him. Engy laughs. Oh, I know these things! One time I joined a church and they used one a these to tell me how many space ghosts I had!

Azrael shakes his head. Not the same thing, bud.

This device will be able to accurately gauge what is in your heart. It will tell us if you are honest and true in your desire for forgiveness of your sin.

Like on Maury?

The judge sighs audibly. Yes. Like on Maury. Now, here is th first sin you must confront. On June 12, 2004 your actions caused the death of another human being. Please bring him in.

The Paladin behind Lux, Jo, and Azrael goes to the double doors and opens them. A slim looking black man wearing a white robe enters. His own head is topped off by a small, jaunty halo. The newcomer steps to the center of the court. Engy almost shoots up out of his seat at the sight of him, but is deterred by the gauntleted hand of the Paladin hovering over him. OH MY GOD! SPAGHETTI!

“Spaghetti”? Lux shoots a glance at Joachim. Do you know anything about this?

I have absolutely no idea.

MY NAME AIN'T “SPAGHETTI”! It's RON! The man shouts. That's just some dumb shit you called me because my brain was too messed up at the time to tell you to knock it off.

Mr. Bright, why don't you explain your history with this man.

Engy looks shamefaced as his eyes meet Joachim's. Do I gotta?

Yes!

Engy's gaze drifts back down to the floor. We called Spaghetti “Spaghetti” because one time he got so drunk he puked up all the spaghetti he ate on a Chinese tourist. It was funny and that's why we called him that.

Ron doesn't look happy and neither does the judge. Yes Mr. Bright that's all very interesting, but it's not what we're looking for.

Okay, okay! Engy draws in a deep breath. 'Schetti, I mean, Ron and me used to live under the same bridge with some other guys. Ron had lotsa problems like voices in his head tellin' him to show his privates 'cuz that was the only thing that would shut off the CIA listenin' devices in his head. He looks nervously down at the floor, completely avoiding Ron's gaze. So one day we was filmin' some bum fights for this dirt bag and he was gonna have me fight Ron. But before the fight he comes up and says to me, “Hey, I'll throw in an extra hundo if you cut the guy a bit.....”

Oh, Dad, no.....Joachim speaks aloud, his voice laden down with sadness and disappointment.

Engy looks up at his son. I'm sorry, kiddo. I was real hungry and....

We was all hungry, Dexter! Ron bites back bitterly. But I never did nothin' like that to you!

Cowed, he continues his story. So, I said yeah to doin' it. But I was just gonna cut him a little, not real bad or nothin'. But Ron was drunk and he tripped and fell and my knife went right in his belly up to the hilt. Shit, man....

Yeah. Shit. Ron turns to Joachim, Azrael, and Lux. You know, it wasn't even the cut that killed me. I got septic in the hospital real bad. They didn't give a shit. I was just some crazy drunk. Took me like three days to die. He returns his attention to Engy. Three days to die, Dexter!

The former Universal champion stays quiet for a solid minute before the judge prods at him for a response. Well, Mr. Bright, this is your chance to ask for forgiveness.

He nods in response and jerks his head up abruptly, and his friends are surprised to see tears in his eyes. I done lotsa bad shit. I ain't gonna deny it. Fuck, I probably don't even deserve to go to Heaven.

Azrael, Joachim and Lux exchange nervous glances again.

You know what, ain't no probably about it. I don't. Engy shrugs.

Dad!

No, I'm sorry Jo. But I don't. And Ron? I can tell you “sorry” like a million times but it ain't ever gonna take back what I did to ya. But for what it's worth, which is probably jack shit, I'm sorry. And I ain't just sayin' that 'cuz I wanna get into Heaven, 'cuz I know I ain't getting' there. I'm sayin' it because it's time for me to be a man and square up. He nods again, resolutely. Would it help if you punched me in the dick?

Ron's expression is inscrutable at first, but then he cracks and a small laugh comes stumbling out. You ain't changed a damn bit, Dexter. Then, to the judge. Can I punch him in the dick?

The judge makes a WTF expression. I don't know...I guess? It's never happened before.

Engy stands up and tenses his body, bracing himself for impact. Go ahead and do it! I'm ready.

Ron looks at Engy's assembled supports. Lux looks confused. Joachim looks nervous. Azrael mostly looks mildly amused. The aggrieved party rolls up the sleeves of his heavenly garb and adjusts his halo a bit before sauntering up to Engy. You sure you ready?

Aye aye, Captain!

Oooooohhhhh kay. Ron winds up and pops Engy right in the dick. It's a good solid hit, but not overly malicious. Engy doubles up immediately and sinks to his knees with a choked sob.

**AH!** **EUGH!** Good....one....

That did kinda make me feel better. The man formerly known as Spaghetti readjusts his sleeves and then extends a hand to Engy. Engy takes it, still nursing his sore balls.

Are we good now?

Ron shrugs. Yeah, sure. It's better up here anyway. Did you know I sleep on a bed of pillowy titties now?

Engy's eyes go wide. Whooooaaaaaaaa!

Yeah! Ron high fives Engy. Just then, an affirmative sounding buzz emits from the machine Engy's tethered to.

That's good news for you, Mr. Bright. Your apology has been judged to be genuine.

Score! He pumps a fist in the air. Joachim and Lux breathe audible sighs of relief and Azrael offers up a polite clap.

The Paladin gestures for Ron to follow him back out of the court room. Engy waves goodbye to him as he goes and sits back down with a small pained groan because he sat on his swollen nuts. Can souls still get testicular torsions? I'm asking for a friend.

Now for your final test, Dexter. The judge leans forward in his seat. This one will be randomly chosen from all the sins you've committed, and you must again make a genuine and heartfelt amends to the person you wronged. Are you ready?

You've got this Dexter!

It's go time!

The judge pulls up a box with a giant red button on it and places it before him. His hand hovers over it and the tension in the room reaches a fever pitch.

NO WHAMMIES, NO WHAMMIES, NO WHAMMIES....

The judge clears his throat and glowers at Engy.

Sorry.

The holy hand of the arbiter comes down on the red button and a figure starts to materialize in the center of the court room. Lux and Joachim hold each other (and their breaths) as Engy's final challenge is revealed.



Lux barks out a relieved laugh. Joachim's eyes practically burst out of his skull. Azrael quirks an eyebrow and considers Engy. I dare say you've got this.

Dexter, all you have to do is apologize for what you did to Robbie! Lux cajoles.

But...but...he's not even dead.

Indeed he is not, Mr. Bright. But the aggrieved party does not have to be dead for you to have wronged them.

Engy considers the still image of Robbie Bourbon in the center of the court room. He cants his head, and then opens his mouth to speak, but then clamps it back shut abruptly.

Dad...? With pursed lips and a look of consternation, Engy's gaze flip flops between the judge and Robbie. Joachim's brow furrows in confusion. Dad, you just need to say you're sorry for what you did to Robbie. It's not a big deal, right?

Why don't you start by explaining the situation, Mr. Bright.

Well...I....uhhhh....I mean, we was all Motherfuckers.

The judge looks impatient. And....?

Uhhhhh....well, we were team mates. But...He shakes his head. It's like this, ya see? I was in this stupid fuckin' C-4 Death match with Gilly right? And I got myself nice and blowed up and got hooked on pain killers....

Dexter. Azrael cuts in reproachfully.

But he doesn't heed the prompt. So then the head honchos found out I was poppin' pills like they was Flintstones Chewables and they made me drop outta a big match between The Motherfuckers and Apex. I don't think I did nothin' wrong.

Dexter! The alien butts in again. You need to tell the truth.

Dad! Come on!

Engy looks at the judge again. Okay...maybe there was a bit more to it....

I'd love to hear it!

Engy goes quiet again and his forehead abruptly becomes slick with flop sweat.



He starts to nervously drum his fingers on the machine next to him. He fidgets and coughs, eyes settling on everything in the room but Robbie Bourbon's still image.

Can I confer with my, erm, “client”?

No, you may not. The judge turns a stern eye towards Engy. So what will it be, Dexter?

Fuck Robbie Bourbon.

I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.

I SAID FUCK ROBBIE BOURBON! Engy's shout cuts through the entire court room.

Oh no... Lux gasps.

OH MY GOD, DAD! Joachim wails.

Even Azrael looks floored. Dexter, I'm going to need you to listen to me very carefully....

NO! Engy shoots up out of the seat and before the Paladin can stop him he power walks right up to Robbie. The machine that he's still tethered to clatters to the floor in his wake, and he drags it along with him unwittingly. FUCK THIS SELF R-....uhhhh....SELF REG.....uhhhh....SELF RIGA......help me out here!

Righteous. Self righteous. Lux offers up unenthusiastically from beneath the hands she's presently using to cover her face.

YEAH! FUCK THIS SELF RIGHTEOUS ASSHOLE! Thinks hes God's gift to the XWF but couldn't even be arsed to finish his Universal title reign. You wanna know why I bailed on the Motherfuckers?! 'CUZ I WAS BETTER! Everybody knowed it too! Everybody knew that ol' Engy was the best goddamn thing on the team, and that these scrubs were holdin' me back.

Maybe you wanna dial back the ego a little bit DAD!

But it ain't ego, Jo, it's just the truth. And you know what else? It WASN'T managements fault I got bounced from that match. I just wanted out!

Azrael smacks his forehead.

Yup! And you know why I wanted out? 'Cuz I knew that these half assed ASSHOLES couldn't hold a limp dick to Apex's throbbing bone yard. I knew we was gonna lose. And I wasn't about to let these guys drag me right down in the shit with 'em.

Oh, but what Engy did was SOOOOOO WRONG! He slaps his cheeks like a judgmental church matron. Yeah maybe it was. But it was also SOOOOOOOO SMART! Because you know who ended up bein' right? He slaps his chest. ENGY! And everything that happened after that night just proved it! Robbie's reign ended up being a big old, “runs down the shorts wet fart”, and Pig only actually tries when Robbie's there to stick his hand up his ass like he's some kinda fuckin' Kermit with trench foot. Well I didn't let NOBODY stick their hand up MY ass! Engy says with obvious pride. And you wanna know another thing...?

Probably not, actually.

Yeah, I decided it would be MORE fun to hang out with Jim Caedus than my own team. I mean, who wouldn't? That guy was the only dude in the fed that was even crazier than me. Good times were had by all until the voices came back or some shit and he went even more cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs than usual. Now where was I?

BEGGING SINCERELY FOR FORGIVENESS! Joachim growls through gritted teeth.

Oh yeah! So after I dumped those rectums I went on to become the longest reigning Universal Champion of all time. Wait..he looks over at Azrael.... am I still?

You are, actually!

FUCKIN' SWEET!

Lux punches Azrael right on the arm.

So yeah, it's pretty clear to me that all I did was toss a BIG FAT ASS anchor off the deck of the Titanic. Robbie sucks. Motherfuckers sucked. Fuck Robbie Bourbon, I ain't sayin' sorry for shit. It was just a damn good career move. So sue me.

Engy finally shuts up and looks around. You could hear a pin drop in the court. And for the first time he takes note of the horrified expressions on Azrael, Joachim, and Lux's faces. And then it hits him like a ton of bricks. His bottom lip quivers. His body goes rigid with fear. And then he suddenly throws himself to the floor in front of the judge's podium.

OH FUCK ME! I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!

**BRAAAAAP**

The machine he's still tethered to barks angrily at the lie.

I JUST LOST MY HEAD! I LOVE ROBBIE BOURBON!


**BRAAAAAAAAAAAAP**


HE'S A GREAT WRESTLER....


**BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP**


….HE HAS ALL THE BEST PROMOS....


***BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP!!***


….HE WORKS OUT LIKE A FIEND.....


***BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!!!!!!***


The machine's starting to smoke now.


…..AND MOST OF ALL, IT'S ALL MUSCLE BABY!!!!!


The machine explodes.

Fuck. He looks plaintively up at the judge. I throw myself at the mercy of the court! PLEASE DON'T SEND ME TO HELL!

The judge sighs wearily. Relax, Mr. Bright. There is no such thing as Hell. What loving god would create a Hell? It just doesn't make sense.

Oh. But are you mad at me because I don't like Robbie because he sucks?

Honestly Mr Bright... the judge throws his hands in the air.... Robbie DOES suck.

YES!!!!!

WOO HOOO!

It's true though. He's pretty terrible.

However, you were correct in your assumption. You are NOT going to Heaven.

That puts a damper on things. Engy's trio of supports abruptly stop their celebrating and turn solemn looks towards the center of the court. Joachim is the first to speak. Ok, so what happens now?

Please don't turn me into a blob fish!

We're not turning you into a blob fish! The judge leans back in his seat, looking like he's about done with this whole ordeal. Look, you spent like 95% of your life being an awful person. Just, the worst. But then in that last 5% you gave up a chance for supreme power from an insane demi-God, saved your son and saved the world.

That's pretty good, right! Lux chimes in helpfully.

It is indeed. We also acknowledge that with a life as traumatic and difficult as yours, it's no wonder that things turned out for you the way they did. Contrary to all that Old Testament bullshit the Creator really is pretty reasonable. So, our final decision is this. You WILL be reincarnated. You will be given a second chance to learn and grow. And this time around will be easier than this lifetime was.

Engy bows his head. Thank you, thank you, thank you! How long do I have to get ready?

Like five minutes. Starting now.

Joachim, Lux, and Azrael all rush up to Engy as he starts to strip away all the wires and diodes still tethering him to the destroyed machine.

Oh, one more thing! You will have absolutely no recollection of this life time.

Engy's jaw drops. What?!

That's just how it works. I'm sorry. So these will be your final goodbyes. Make them count.

Engy looks at his son and his friends, eyes wide and overwhelmed. I....I....holy fuck....

Joachim wraps his father in a hug and starts to cry. His attempts at words are cut short by a violent hitching in the back of his throat. Lux curls her arms around both of them. Azrael looks on at the scene and then looks at the judge.

He'll really have it easier this time?

Yes.

Ok. That'll be fine. Yes. Azrael intones, his voice flat with shock.

Alf!

Engy peeks his head out from over his son's tear stained shoulder.

What's up Dex?

I know you brought 'em here. Thank you.

He wipes a tear away. It was my pleasure.

Come here you fuckin' cat eater.

With a wry smile, Azrael joins the hug as well, and they all remain that way for quite some time before disentangling into their separate teary eyed snotty messes. I'll miss you kid.

I'll miss you, Dad. Joachim stutters.

The next one's gotta be better. Lux offers.

It'll be better. The boy nods his head.

Maybe I'll actually be smart this time!

Joachim and Lux share a laugh. Azrael extends a hand to Engy. Engy takes it without any further word and shakes it heartily.

Mr. Bright, it's time to go.

Yeah...yeah....I know.

The Paladins march up to Engy and he takes up a position in between both towering monoliths. He takes one last look at everyone. Good-

But he's gone too fast. They vanish in a burst of brilliant light. Lux slides her arm around the small of Joachim's back. Azrael's eyes linger on where his good friend was just a moment ago.

Okay, next one on the docket.

The big doors open up and two more Paladins enter with a slim, miserable looking female figure between them. Azrael turns to see what's coming and his jaw drops open. Lux, taking note, comes up to him and whispers gently. What's wrong?

I know her.

Who is she?

The Paladins bring her before the judge and Azrael looks on, his features still bearing the after effects of his shock. Stella. She's the Blackwater Brothers' mother. Lux, I'm sorry but I need to stay for this.

Alright. Sure. But how are we getting back?

Right. Azrael flags Joachim over. I'm sorry Jo, I need to take you back right now. I need to return here post haste.

That's fine. I got what I came for.

Azrael again locks hands with his friends, and ushers them away on a beam of light one final time.

A Little Later.....

We return to see Joachim and Lux sitting in the apartment the young man once shared with Engy. Lux is propped up on the couch and Joachim has his head leaning back on a La-Z-Boy.

Who knew a journey to the afterlife could be so exhausting. Joachim's glance meet the grisly painting of his father. I'll miss him.

Me too. Lux sits up a bit. But I think he'll be okay.

Joachim nods solemnly. I'm gonna go lay down. He looks at her, the unspoken request laid bare. You wanna come with me?

She turns her face away, just a tad. I got a bit more to say about the match.

The young man's disappointment registers subtly, but he accepts it. Bidding goodnight to Lux with a small wave, he leaves the range of the all seeing camera. Lux watches him go, feeling a pang of guilt, before retraining his gaze on the camera. She sits up fully now, planting her feet on the floor and pushing her game face up through the waves of exhaustion.

You would not BELIEVE the day I've had. Engy says hi, guys. Don't ask. A smirk finds it's way to the surface. So, gentlemen, where are we? Do you understand now that I refuse to let you run and hide from your records? That I won't stop litigating the last year of mediocrity you've shown us?

The smoke and mirrors don't work. Busting down who and what I am won't work. Not when the complete inability of the Motherfucker's to consistently get the job done has been a prime time and pay per view staple for 365 plus and counting.

Pig, I've been somewhat remiss in addressing you directly for want of you having anything to say to me. You've remedied that situation, so allow me to do the same for you. Look, I do have some respect for you. We went over all this in our first go round. You're a solider. A fighter. You're brave and your tough and your LOYAL. All A-plus personality traits. Unfortunately, you've also been making it crystal clear that unless Robbie Bourbon is there to motivate you, you're an absolute dud in the XWF.

I don't need extra motivation. I just DO. Day in and day out, without anyone having to poke, prod, or cajole me. That's just who I am. And that's who you AREN'T.

You were half right when you said a team should not be judged on the individual merits of its members. Or at least, that's what I GATHERED you said. Quite frankly it was all rather word salady and maybe you shouldn't walk and chew gum at the same time, eh? So yeah, it is quite possible that Bearded War Pig is elevated to something more than he usually is when he's in the stately presence of the Man of the People. But do you know what you call something that needs to be wound to do anything?

It's a toy, Pig.

And worse yet, a toy that seems to be wearing one hell of a pair of rose colored glasses when it comes to the one doing the winding. Are you guys absolutely sure you're on the same page when it comes to what your team represents? Because call me crazy but Robbie Bourbon ain't seeming like much of a hero to me. Letting his fans down by throwing title match. Pawning cheap Chinese merch on them for a couple laughs and a pop. Hell Pig, Robbie's pretty much stated it outright. He's no hero. He's a man. That's what gives him that depth of character that he prides himself on. Unfortunately though, that leaves YOU holding the “we're the good guys” bag. Robbie picks and chooses his moments of benevolence. You wear your heart on your sleeve. And you always try to be your best self. The good solider who's always loyal to his unit. Which is probably why you were the one who seemed the most hurt when Engy did what he did. I get that. Doesn't excuse your asinine argument that Engy was the weak link when he went on to do scores more in the XWF than either of you, but yeah, I get why you're jaded.

But here's the thing about me. I don't fight to make someone else better. I fight to make ME better. I get the team dynamic. I get how two soldiers can bring out the best in each other because I've LIVED it.

But. I. Don't. NEED. That.

You CLEARLY do.

And that's what makes us different and quite frankly makes me stronger. Azrael is the same way. He needs support and validation from no one. Yes, he's teamed with plenty of people, but he's had plenty of success as an individual as well. We're two whole people coming together to comprise one time traveling, space faring, sci-fi double feature of a badass team.

But The Motherfuckers? On again off again “heroes” whose best days are behind them. A team who promptly up and died when their best member left their ranks. Because Engy saw what the rest of us saw and what you straight up admitted, Pig. That ultimately, Robbie only really gives a shit at random. And Pig only gives a shit when Robbie gives a shit. Who in their right mind would want to be tethered to that?

So yes boys, I'm going to INSIST that Azrael and I have got this on lock down at Warfare. The time traveler and the space man are going over. Robbie's Bourbon's dance card will once again be free to look at boobs on Twitter. And Bearded War Pig? Whatever shall you do without your plus one? My advice? Tell your listless unit commander to go blow and find it in yourself to be your own man.

See you on the other side of my next dubya, boys.

Lux signals for the feed to cut, and it shoots straight into the black.

ELSEWHERE....IN TIME AND SPACE!

FIVE YEARS LATER....

We see a proud African American couple hugging and standing in a doorway. The woman nuzzles her husband's shoulder and gives it a gentle kiss.

I can't believe he scored that high. I mean, I can....but....

I know, hon. I'm still coming down from it too. A 137 IQ! The man chuckles. He can be anything he wants. Doctor! Lawyer! Prime Minister!

They both turn their attention into the room itself, which we now see is a child's bedroom. A young boy is sitting cross legged on the floor enraptured by something on the TV. His room is split even between being adorned with train memorabilia and XWF posters.

I just wish he'd stop watching this AWFUL wrestling!

We see now what's on the television screen.

Quote:Jim Ross' Head in a Jar: BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD! BIG D'S DONE IT! HIS FIVE YEAR DREAM OF BECOMING UNIVERSAL CHAMPION HAS FINALLY COME TRUE!

Vincent Lane (with obvious hair plugs): But Sarah Lacklan looks none too happy about it! And neither does her manager Shane !

Shane can be seen throwing a shit stained dildo at the ref as Big D sobs openly onto the face of his newly won title.

The boy is laughing uproariously as his parents look on disapprovingly. So Rex, tell us, what do you want to be when you grow up?

The boy turns around and smiles wide in an oddly familiar manic way. I WANNA BE A WRESTLER!

FIN!