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Zane Norrison · (04-09-2019)

I sit on my sofa, eyes still fixated on my television screen, even well after Mastermind's promo came to a close and I wonder... is this guy for real? With a laugh, I shake my head and reach for the remote. Shutting off the television, I lean back and retrieve my cell phone. Turning on the camera, I point it at me as it starts to record a video.

"Oh wow, Mastermind! I can't believe how upset I made you!"

Laughing in pure astonishment, eyebrows raised, I continue.

"It's like I fucking wronged you or some shit. Geez. Relax there, buddy. It's okay. You're safe."

As I compose my laughter, I pull a cigarette from the pack laying next to me on the sofa and fire it up. Even though it's been nearly three years, since my lungs have taken in air for necessity. I can still manage to use them when it suits me. Not for actual breathing purposes because the oxygen doesn't do anything for me but I can intake air and release it back out for other reasons, for instance when I smoke. It helps to blend in when I need to and I like smoking - primarily cigarettes, I did when I was alive and would you believe it... that need just didn't go away with the fading of my pulse. I've also been known to hit some weed, every now and again. Mostly when I'm spending time with my neighbor and close friend, Harper. Fun Fact: Zombies can still feel the effects of certain things. Yeah, it's a real head scratcher but then again, my entire existence dwells on the cusp of reality. It's not like I was given a manual on zombies when I became one, so I can't explain it. I'm simply glad there are still things out there that I can enjoy that make me feel fucking normal. Cause my afterlife would be hell otherwise.

"You got some real rage issues there, my friend. You should talk to someone about it. Atticus Black told me to seek therapy, for my own specific special set of problems and while the session didn't really fix anything for me, being that I'm a member of the undead and my rage outbursts stem from something beyond what can merely be talked out, it might really help you. Only a friendly suggestion, nothing more. Take it or leave it. Just please don't freak out and have a heart attack about it in front of a camera. Maybe in the meantime, borrow some of your wife's Midol. Heh. A joke. This is me messing around, having a bit of fun. You do know what fun is right? They have that on your planet, don't they?"

Taking a drag from my cigarette, I momentarily look away from the camera when I exhale, mouthing the word "Wow" very visibly.

"Alrighty then. I'm going to dive right in and address what you had to say about me."

"The reason that I mentioned others is because you brought them up. You commented on past achievements and compared them to yourself. With Engy being the only one that you talked about that did better than you; as far as the title you attached along with him is concerned, but... ha, you failed to mention how much longer his reign was compared to yours. Which was weird cause then why did you bring the dude up at all? So I thought I'd throw Azrael out there. Since you both held the TV title and his record is impressive. That must have been the reason you brought up the Engineer, correct? His record is impressive?"

"I have to assume this because there wasn't an explanation, so I had to formulate my own and that makes the most sense logically. Come to think of it, there wasn't really a reason given for why you were comparing people to yourself either. You ended it all with... "Sorry Zane you must be wondering why I am hitting you with stats?" then you went on to talk about how you wanted to go for my Hart title, when I had it but didn't cause you won the TV title. From there it even further strayed away and you got into talking about our match. For me to know why you were doing all that comparing, I would have to have been a mind reader. Which I'm not. I'm a zombie. Zombies don't read minds."

"So without that knowledge, I decided to give my own take on things. If we're going to sit there, throwing around stats and pointing out accomplishments, everyone should be given a pat on the back. You are right though, that would take a lot of time away that should be dedicated to talking about the forthcoming battle and our opponent(s). That's why I didn't sit there and list off everyone that I respect, by name. The little words that I said really didn't take much time or effort to produce though. Why they would insult you is past the realm of my understanding. I mean, to the point of calling me a brown noser, which is totally false, by the way. I didn't specifically go on a long ass spiel about adoring a bunch of people by name, while listing off all their accomplishments and accolades. I only spoke with respect and kindness cause guess what, I'm not an asshole. Surprise. After our fight, you should really see a doctor about the stick that's jammed up your ass cause it seems like it's lodged in there mighty deep."

Another pull from my cigarette.

"I'm glad you're immune to zombie bites. Now I have nothing to worry about. So kudos to the both of us there."

A puff of smoke.

"In regards to our fight. You go right ahead and think that I'll be a push over and an easy victory. That you can take control of the fight and dominate. You fly your flag and fly it proud, my man. I told you that your fatal flaw would be to underestimate me but it seems that's what you're going to do anyway. I can only give you fair warning, I can't process thought for you. If I could, I would have definitely stopped you from uttering more then half the stupid shit that you said, while allowing you to execute your words properly. Without sounding like your either drunk or slow in the head."

"Mastermind, I might be a nice guy but do not take my kindness, for weakness. You want to talk down on me and that's fine, it's your right. If you walk into our fight thinking my words have any effect over my performance, you will lose. I told you before, my goal is to entertain and give it my all, in order to accomplish that feat and that's what I'm going to do. You are getting into a fight with more than a man, I am an abomination... a monster, that doesn't have the same infrastructure or pain tolerance as you do. You're body might mend itself quickly but you can still feel pain, right? Yeah, you can. Anyway, I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume I can take far more, than you can. Everyone has their breaking point, correct? Even fast healers? Going by the example of others in the company with this gift they appear that they do. Well, unless you plan on shooting me in the head, I n pretty much power through anything."

"Still, it should be acknowledged, that you're a fast healer that's immune to zombies. Personally, I think that's fantastic to hear cause once again, I have nothing to worry about. I don't have to fret when it comes to breaking you in ways, where it would ordinarily take years in order to repair the damage that's been done. If it happens at all. I can do whatever I want and it's cool, you'll be fit as a fiddle in no time flat. Awesome. You have no idea how happy that makes me. This might be my favorite fight, to date. So thank you for sharing that information with me, Mastermind. In that knowledge, you made my day, in spite of talking down to me for most of your promo."

"Don't worry though, that's water under the bridge. I swear that it'll have no bearing or basis on what happens during our fight. That would be petty and small, two characteristics that I don't possess. No... when I rip you to shreds in that ring... and I will rip you to shreds, it'll be for the fans and the roar of the crowd. Who I am certain will be utterly ecstatic, since they get to see a real life zombie, literally tear someone apart. I'm sure it'll be like an episode of Fear The Walking Dead, for some of the younger members of the audience. I do aim to please, after all... so I have no qualms about giving the masses what they want, especially the kids."

"This is going to be super fun and at the same time kind of cathartic, I get to let loose and be free. Really sink my teeth into things and give it the utmost extension of my abilities. Oh, that's not figurative talking either, there definitely will be biting involved. Seems like a cheap tactic but I'm a zombie, I can't really control myself. When the rage hits me... that's it! I am a slave to my inner demon and now you will be too, when I unleash the beast and rain relentless, unholy hell down upon you."

"Come Wednesday Night, you had better prepare yourself because the dead will walk the Earth and you won't have a prayer."

"Cause it's the dawn of the dead and I'm feeling hungry... for the X-Treme title. And this win will bring me one step closer to achieving it."

"Till next time, Mastermind."

With a slight smirk I shut off my phone and die out my cigarette. I feel good about how that went.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode It's the dawn of... THE DEAD!
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