WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17, 2018 THE NORTH AFRICAN TOUR CONTINUES IN ALGIERS, ALGERIA... THIS IS... WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE!!!! LIVE FROM STADE DU 5 JUILLET!!

Finn Kuhn - vs - Chasm If Chasm wins, he receives a UNIVERSAL TITLE SHOT! "The Basic Bitch Doctor" Joshua Reno (w/ Bilbo Blumpkinz) & Phantom Panzer - vs - Jim Caedus Handicap Match! If Panzer and BBD win, they receive a Tag Titles opportunity! Chris Clemens - vs - Muddy Waters Scully - vs - Grande Ricardo X-Treme rulesatxh, no DQ, falls count anywhere! HART CHAMPIONSHIP TURMOIL MATCH APEX Robert Main & Drew Archyle - vs - The Purebred Killers Peter Gilmour & Michael McBride X-Treme Rules!If Gilmour or McBride pin Robert Main OR Drew Archyle, they become Hart Champion! Chris Chaos - vs - Bearded War Pig Brass Knucks on a Pole! Whomever retrieves the knuckles from the pole first will be allowed to use them in the match! Universal Championship Match Robbie Bourbon - vs - Danny Imperial

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The camera follows the trail of a comet-like firework as it flies toward the entry stage, exploding in a massive fireball as the intro theme fades away!

Pyro launches across the ramp as the cameras swoop in revealing the cheering faces of the thousands of fans in attendance, and then centers on the two men sitting behind the broadcast booth.


Welcome once again ladies and gentlemen to the HOTTEST world tour in professional wrestling, XWF WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE! I'm Pip Collins and with me as always is my good friend and colleague, the incomparable Luca Arzegotti! Luca are you ready for a heck of a ride?


Maaaaaaan, the homie Danny Imperial gets his due tonight in a Uni Title shot!


Indeed he does! And we will also see the Hart Championship defended in an unconventional manner... a TAG team match with champion Robert Main and his APEX brother, Drew Archyle, taking on former XWF Tag Team Champions the Purrebred Killers, Peter Gilmour and Michael McBride, and if the Killers win, the Hart Title goes to the man who makes the pin!


Yeah man that's ridiculous! Also Chasm is here.


Yes he is! Let's get to the ring!

Finn Kuhn - vs - Chasm If Chasm wins, he receives a UNIVERSAL TITLE SHOT!

The following is Scheduled for one fall.....Introducing first from Ottawa, Canada. Weighing 225lbs and standing 5'11........Chaaaassssssmmmmm





As the music starts Chasm walks out from the back and makes his way down to the ring.


Well would you look at that he actually showed up for this fight.

Of course Luca, he gets a Universal title shot if he wins.


His opponent from New York New York By way of Frankfurt Germany.Weighing 200lbs and standing 6'3"....Finnnnnn Khuuuunnnnnnnnn.




As the heavy riffs of No Resolve echo their way through the arena, the fans begin to litter the stage and arena with boos as they know who's coming out. As the main riff starts to play, Finn Kühn makes his way out from the back in a long, black jacket, and his head bowed and in a hood, walking slowly towards the ring, allowing all the noise from the fans to go in one ear, and out the other.

As the lyrics began playing, Finn removes his hood, looking ready, determined, and walks to the ring with purpose. Once in the ring, he poses on the turnbuckles as fans continue to boo the Kaiser. After a few seconds, he hops down and waits for the match to begin.


And there is the man that stands in the way of Chasm's dreams.

Well at least you realize its a dream Pip, on he's about to get a rude awakening from

The bell rings and the two men lock up in the center. Transitioning from position to position not giving up to much ground.Finn breaks the holds and cracks Chasm with a right hand stumbling the smaller man. Finn continues the assault with more right hands pressing the attack, pushing Chasm into the corner.
While in the corner Finn begins to rain down open hand slaps to Chasms bare chest.

1....

2...


3...



4....




The ref breaks them up to allow chasm some breathing room. Finn walks away smiling and mocking Chasm. Chasm takes a moment to collect his breath and begins to walk towards Finn.Just thing Finn turns around and hits Chasm with a flying knee to the solar plex. Buckling the man and dropping him to his knees.The faster Finn takes the opportunity to kick Chasm while he is down and climb the turnbuckles. The prone Chasm right underneath him Finn attempts a moonsault.
He lands it and goes for the quick cover.....

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2........





Kickout by the veteran and Finn is furious, Finn gets to his feet and begins to argue with the ref. Chasm takes this chance to get to his feet. Waiting like a stalking animal Chasm stands right behind Finn.He finally turns around to be caught by a


Belly To Belly Suplex


Chasm nearly tosses the lighter man out of the ring. Finn's body bounces on the mat and rolls towards the ropes. Chasm acting like a rabid animal grabs Finn by the legs and set him up for a Sharpshooter.Finn fights back but a few hard shots to the stomach from Chasm's boot quells any type of resistance.He rolls Finn over and locks it in Finn begins to scream a writhe in pain.

This could be it, Luca, This could be the chance Chasm has been waiting for.

Yeah, Or Finn could just grab the rope Chasm left him next to.

Finn realizes that Chasm has in fact not moved him away from the ropes and he grabs the bottom one for the break. Chasm ignores it and applies more pressure to the hold.The ref begins to count.

1....

2....


3.....



4.........





Chasm breaks the hold and pulls Finn by the feet towards the center. Finn counters this attempt with a boot to Chasms face. Chasm stumbles back and goes back to Finn where he caught with both boots to the chest this time Finn puts enough force behind it to knock Chasm out of the ring and to the floor.Finn remained on the mat to take the time and get his bearings again.


The ref gets to the count of three before Chasm gets himself back into the ring where he is met with a dropkick from Finn. Chasm is knocked to his back and Finn takes the chance to mount him and starts raining down punches over and over again.Chasm is having little to no luck defending himself from the vicious assault by Finn.The ref pulls Finn off of Chasm and points him to a side of the ring while he checks on Chasm. Chasm seems a little disoriented but all and all okay. He askes if chasm can continue and Chasm says he can the ref signals for the match to keep going.

Finn and Chasm lock up again in the center and once again begin the war of transitional holds. Finn breaks it once again and whips Chasm into the ropes. On the return, Finn is met a

SPEAR


Chasm almost breaks Finn in half when he hits this devastating move. The two men lay prone on the mat both moving slightly. Finn and Chasm get to their feet around the same time and both men start throwing punches the moment they are within range of each other. Each man giving it all that they have neither of them willing to give up.Each punch thrown seems to make the other person throw harder. The sounds of the punches bouncing of various body parts start to echo through the arena. Each thud more sickening than the last.


Finally, the two broke it up and threw each other into the ropes. Chasm goes for a clothesline but Finn spins around him in lightning quick fashion and out of nowhere delivers a Knife In The Back!! (Backstabber)


With Chasm down Kuhn goes for the cover.




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3!!!

Winner: Finn Kuhn

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"The Basic Bitch Doctor" Joshua Reno (w/ Bilbo Blumpkinz) & Phantom Panzer - vs - Jim Caedus Handicap Match! If Panzer and BBD win, they receive a Tag Titles opportunity!

Tig O’ Bitties Introducing first accompanied by lover and best friend Bilbo Brommer Blumpkinz, weighing in at entirely too much, hailing from who knows where, BASIC BITCH DOCTOR JOSHUA RENO!


Bilbos scooter can be seen cresting the entrance ramp in slow typical Bilbo fashion. One hand on the throttle the other on his throbbing erection. Being pulled behind the scooter in a little red wagon is none other than Basic Bitch Doctor Joshua Reno. The two men get to the bottom of the ramp as BBD hops out of the wagon and Bilbo pulls to the side to watch his best friend compete.





Tig O’ Bitties: And his partner, weighing in at 242lbs, hailing from Timmys Clown Emporium, PHANTOM PANZER!


He slowly walks out as the lights dim. Then they light up on the ramp only, and he walks out and as he walks along the lit ramp, blood seemingly follows his every step, coating the ramp. As he reaches the ring, the ring is lit up and before he enters, and as he steps foot inside the squared circle, the effect rushes from all four corners. After a minute, he throws his arms out fast upwards, and the lights brighten as bloodied confetti shoots out and into the crowd.





Tig O Bitties: And their opponent weighing in at 230lbs, one half of the XWF Tag Team Champions, with way too many accomplishments to list, hailing from Long Beach, CA, JIM CAEDUS!


The now familiar opening notes to "Ready Steady Go" by Paul Oakenfold begin to blast from the PA moments before the ring announcer plugs. The fans erupt. As the spiel is unloaded the lights cut, plunging the arena in darkness before silver strobes begin to flash and silver spotlights begin to continuously wave from along the length of the entrance walkway to the crowd and back.

Obviously practiced and well-timed, the moment the announcer finishes, "ready, steady, g-g-go!" is let fly by the song's vocalist and silver pyro erupts from the egress. Before the cloud of smoke dissipates, the 1/2 XWF Tag Team Champion and Mr. 24/7 Jim Caedus steps out as the house lights come up, Tag strap over his left shoulder, 24/7 briefcase in his right hand.

His hair hangs freely, emotion absent in his eyes. He glances around at the majority population of fans who now know exactly who he is. The small pockets of his smarks seem less enthused to be a part of the crowd but remain cheering nonetheless.

As the music continues he turns his attention to the ring and it's inhabitant(s) then starts an unconcerned slow walk, carefully gathering his long blonde hair into a secured samurai-style bun along the way. At ringside he heads immediately to the timekeeper table and hands off both his strap and case then removes his Dickies jacket walking to the ring, folding it carefully beside his corner's steps, ascending to the apron and stepping through the ropes into battle after nearly 2 minutes have elapsed.


The bell sounds and away we go! Immediately Caedus goes on the offensive and rushes PP and BBD. He lands a vicious double clothesline sending both men crashing to the mat below!


“Caedus displaying his raw power here tonight folks.”

PP and BBD quickly climb to their feet and charge Caedus once more! Caedus goes for another clothesline but the two men duck! PP springboards off the top rope looking to come directly down on Caedus but Caedus catches him out of midair!


“That man something special, Pippy.”


Before Caedus can capitalize on the offensive counter, BBD drop kicks him connecting perfectly with his head, sending him crashing to the mat still holding PP.
The referee drops to make the count!

1..

Caedus quickly throws PP off of him with so much force that he flies across the ring before jumping to his feet. BBD begins to throw punches at Caedus but misses over and over as Caedus side steps them all!


“Jim Caedus is a man who lived most of his life on the streets. Fighting for his life. BBD isn't thinking his attacks through!”


Immediately PP charges Caedus but he’s cut off in the middle of the ring! Caedus and PP lock up, Caedus slings PP to the ground with incredible force! Caedus and BBD lock up, the two struggle for the upper hand for a moment before Caedus slings BBD to the ground! The two men can’t believe what they are seeing! Caedus yells out to the crowd displaying his dominance over the two men!

Caedus steps back and motions for PP to bring it. PP cautiously meets up with Caedus in the middle of the ring and the two lock up again. Caedus overpowers PP and shoves him to the mat AGAIN! PP lays on the mat looking up at the physically imposing Caedus. Caedus motions for PP to get back to his feet. BBD hits the ropes and flies at Caedus with a crossbody. Caedus clotheslines BBD who hits the mat and rolls outside.


“Caedus is pretty much running the show it seems here tonight!”


PP makes it back to his feet and manages to chop block Caedus from behind! Caedus hits the mat and PP begins to capitalize. PP climbs on top of the downed Caedus and begins landing blow after blow to the face of Caedus, laughing maniacally with every blow that successfully lands! BBD rolls back in the ring and both men begin laying into Caedus who is still down on the mat just absorbing the punishment!


“Come on Jimmy, you gotta get up, fam. Don’t let these idiots run shit!”


Both men pull Caedus to his feet and send him flying into the ropes, in full sprint, together, they nail Caedus with a clothesline sending him over the top rope and to the mat below!


“Well Luca, it looks like these two might make a decent team after all.”

“I doubt that, ones ugly as fuck and the other is talentless as fuck. So ok, yeah they good together.”

BBD and PP begin to gloat in the ring before BBD slides out and begins to take the offense to Caedus once again. BBD grabs Caedus and pulls him to his feet.
BBD motions for Bilbo to come his way! Bilbo begins slowly riding towards the two mens location. The referee keeps trying to institute a count, but PP is in the ring making condom balloon animals and showing him, keeping him overly occupied! Finally Bilbo reaches his friend. BBD instructs Bilbo to hold Caedus for a moment, so Bilbo takes his tiny little arms and does his best to hold Caedus. BBD reaches under the ring and pulls out a large, black, carbon fiber dildo!


“Um, Luca, what the hell is that?”

“A good time for someone, I’m sure. Probably not Caedus, doh.”


BBD smiles and says a few inaudible insults before running towards Caedus wielding the dildo, ready to swing! BBD swings for the fences!
Caedus breaks free at the last second! BBD hits Bilbo directly in the forehead with the dildo!
BBD is in shock! Caedus levels BBD with a clothesline before rolling him back in the ring and rolling in the ring himself. PP is still distracted making balloon animals so he has no idea that Caedus has snuck in behind him! Caedus smiles and rolls back outside of the ring for a moment! Caedus tosses Bilbo off his scooter like he weighs nothing, hops on, and begins to drive the scooter around the outside of the ring!


“I honestly have no idea what to make of this anymore, Luca.”

“This is awesome, dude, just embrace it!”


BBD is starting to come to, as is Bilbo. The two men see Caedus riding the scooter around the ring about the same time that PP also spots him! PP quickly drops the condoms and slides to the outside! Caedus going all of about 1 mile per year, hops off the scooter and meets PP with a kick to the midsection! PP stumbles back before being struck with a huge blow to the head that sends him crashing to the floor! BBD stands and attempts to charge Caedus but trips over Bilbo’s erection, and falls down once more. Bilbo smiles and strokes it as BBD climbs to his feet. Caedus rushes BBD and jumps hitting him with a flying headbutt! Caedus rolls BBD in the ring, and for whatever reason, also tosses Bilbo in there too! “What?! Bilbo isn’t in this match?!” Caedus rolls in the ring himself and grabs Bilbo! With a spear like erection, Caedus charges BBD with Bilbo sending Bilbos throbbing member directly into the eye of BBD! BBD stumbles back as PP is trying to climb back in the ring! But Caedus spots him and launches Bilbo at PP forcing them both to tumble back to the outside! Caedus turns around and sees BBD already laying in the middle of the ring waiting for the pin.

Caedus looks confused but lays down for the pin anyway!

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3!!!!!!!

WINNER: JIM CAEDUS!

Jim Caedus is walking up the ramp after his hard fought victory over Phantom Panzer and Sebasstian Dyke or Basic Bitch Doctor or whatever that asshole is calling himself these days when suddenly Bilbo Brommer Blumpkinz comes flying past Caedus and down the entry ramp in his diesel fueled wheel chair.

Phantom Panzer looks down at Bilbo who is slowly trying to roll himself into the ring. As that happens Sebasstian Dyke pulls out a 2 foot long double sided black dildo and places it around Phantom Panzers throat essentially choking him out with it.

Panzer tries to fight his attacker off but Dyke has the dildo wrapped so tightly around Panzer's throat that it's only a matter of seconds before Panzer passes out and falls to the ring unconscious.


So Panzer you wanted a team, some guy to bounce some ideas off of, figuratively and literally. Well pal have I got some good news for you. Bx3 has been without a leader ever since Brucette Blingsteen was gang raped to death by a couple of Mexicans and now with you looking for some friends it only seems appropriate to tell the world that the search for our new leader is over.

Effective immediately Phantom Panzer is now the NEW LEADER of Bx3. Welcome home fucko!


Sebasstian Dyke drapes a slightly used Bx3 shirt over Panzer's body while Bilbo rolls over to him and starts licking Panzer's face until the show goes to commercial.

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The scene opens to reveal Roxy Cotton, the bodacious fiance of XWF Owner Vincent Lane as well as head of the XWF Bombshell Division.




"Hi baby..."

Roxy adjusts her cleavage and smiles into the camera.

"Like... as a lot of you probably already know, because you probably all follow me on Twitter, @MyLoveOnTheRox, just like everyone else... I've been doing a lot of, like, charity? Philanthropy? Stuff like that. And recently, when talking to my super close friend Kenzi, I learned about a severe problem in South Africa!"


Roxy produces a map of the world and points at some random spot which is pretty much nowhere near Africa at all, south or otherwise.

"So! As is my mission as an Operating Level Four Scientologist, I took it upon myself to solve the problem... see, like a long time ago in the 80s or whatever, some loser named Nelson said he didn't want anymore of a party down in South Africa. Everything was a lot of fun and was really great there until this hashtag basic bitch Nelson decided to put an end to a party. For only like the cost of a venti Starbucks a day, you could totally donate to help me in my charitable efforts! DM me on Twitter and use my hashtag:

#BringAPartyBackToSouthAfrica

Oh! And while you're at it and I have your attention... vote for me to make the Lingerie Football League's Pro Bowl! I play slot for the Cincinnati Hit Girls in Conference X!

And as always, be sure to invest in my hot new cryptocurrency BITCHCOIN, available right here in the XWF shop!





Thanks baby!"

Roxy blows a kiss to the camera and the scene returns to the broadcast booth at Warfare.

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Tig O’ Bitties: Introducing first weighing in at 215lbs, hailing from Jacksonville, FL, Chris Clemens!


-$-The lights shut off across the arena as the big screen lights up with Chris Clemens entrance video.-$-

-$- Boos and cheers can be heard mixed throughout the arena. Green stage lights twirl around vigorously as explosions of gold glitter erupt on each side of the entrance ramp. Green and gold lasers shoot across the arena as The Impossible Chis Clemens steps out from behind the curtains. The crowd explodes into chants and cheers as he keeps his head looking at the ground switching his weight from one foot to the other. He starts rollings his head back and forth loosing up his neck just before he throws his fists into the air at the same time as two more explosions go off sending even more gold flakes floating into the packed arena. He continues full steam ahead down the ramp and through the pyro smoke. He rolls under the ropes quickly and jumps up throwing his fists in the air again as the crowd cheers and taunts him at the same time. He just smiles and taunts the crowd as he goes corner to corner throwing up his fists. -$-





Tig O’ Bitties: And his opponent, weighing in a 230lbs, hailing from Pikesville, KY, Muddy Waters!


Muddy makes his way from behind the curtain carrying 10 cans of Grizzly Snuff and begins tossing them into the crown for his toothless fans! He eventually makes his way down to the ring himself and puts a big ole dip in and gets ready for action!

”Well, this should be an interesting matchup, Luca.”

”Nope. Clemens all the way. Muddy ain’t got shit.”

The bell sounds and away we go!




15 minutes later..


”What an incredible match that was, both men gave it their all!”

”Yup. Good enough that it ended in a draw!”

WINNER:DRAW

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Scully - vs - Grande Ricardo X-Treme rulesatxh, no DQ, falls count anywhere!

Suddenly the arena lights go red and "Angels Fall" by Breaking Benjamin blares out of the P.A System. After about 40 seconds The Scull Meister finally steps out on to stage, his XWF Universal Championship over his shoulder. He looks around at the XWF Galaxy in attendence and smirks. The chorus of boos fill the arena in disapproval of Skull, he shrugs it off and slowly walks down the ramp, ignoring them. He stops at the bottom of the ramp and smirks once again at the crowd. He then raises his XWF Universal Championship in the air as the boos become louder. He walks up the steps and walks along the ring apron. He turns to look at the fans whilst slowly moving both hands from his face to the floor, gesturing "A look at me" type taunt, before raising the title once again. Scully enters through the middle rope and into the ring. Skull walks over to the far turn buckle and climbs to the top. He holds his hands in the air, making sure the title is there for everyone to see and then does his "Look at me" taunt. The Scully Meister spins himself round and chills on the turnbuckle with his arms folded, his title put over his shoulder. His music fades out.





As My Dragon Pal and me plays, an Timothy Omundson's sweet voice drifts through the arena, Grande Ricardo walks down to the ring, calmly, and slides under the ropes.


Ricardo comes up from behind Scully and slams the top of a baseball bat into the back of his head, staggering Skull, and topping him. Ricardo then proceeds to strike Scully's midsection and legs with the bat, which is wrapped in razor wire, cutting him open. Ricardo then lifts the bat high, and slams it down with all of his might on Scully's face before walking to down to the ring signalling for the match to begin.



The bell rings, and Scully and Ricardo lock up, but the larger Scully has the advantage. Scully twists Ricardo, and holds him in a sleeper hold, and holds it tight, trying to end this match as quickly as possible. Ricardo struggles to free himself, stomping on Scully's foot, but that just causes him to tighten his grip. Ricardo spazzes out trying to wriggle himself free, to no avail. His movements become slower and more erratic while Scully keeps laughing. Suddenly with what appears to be the last ditch effort, Ricardo pushes back as hard as he can, and slams Scully into the turnbuckle. The hold breaks, and Ricardo falls to the floor gasping for air, and begins to crawl away from him. Scully casually walks over, cracks his neck, and then delivers a massive kick to the throat of Ricardo, which sends the lizard man toppling over. Scully walks over and stomps directly on Ricardo's stomach, laughing as he does. This causes Ricardo to wheeze and gasp, which amuses Scully, who climbs over to the ring, and strolls to the time keeper's table, and picks up the bell. A woman screams on the sidelines, begging Scully not to do it. He ignores her and pops back into the ring, just as Ricardo struggles to his feet.



The bell slams into Ricardo's back with enough force to send him down. As Scully raises the bell to drop it onto the body of Ricardo one more time, he thinks quickly and punches directly into Scully's ankles with both fists. This imbalances Scully, and staggers him back into the ropes, allowing Ricardo time to roll out of the way and pop to his feet. Scully rights himself and turns to face Ricardo, hoping to catch him upside the head with the bell, but Ricardo scouted that and ducked down, throwing a quick punch to Scully's eggs and dragon. He follows it up with a solid uppercut that rocks Skull's jaw. As the Champion rights himself again, Ricardo dives between the ropes and rolls onto the floor. He pops to his feet and scuttles away like Zoidberg, with the noise and all. Scully throws the bell up the rampway at Ricardo, but it misses, and Scully decides to give chase. The referee is following behind Mike trying to get them to just fight.

Scully passes underneath the jumbo tron, and through the narrow way with all of the equipment, trying to find Ricardo, who pops out of an empty travel case, and hits a diamond cutter that drops the Skullster. He goes for a quick and dirty pin, but Skull kicks out before the ref can drop down and count it. Ricardo pops back to his feet, but Scully, still on the ground, kicks Ricky in the knees, before kipping up, and driving his head directly into Ricardo's torso as hard as possible. This pushes the pair through the partition the XWF's set up for interviews, knocking over Sayors, who was just standing around like a nerd. Little Feather, who was standing by and flexing for some reason, drops down, and pulls Sayors out of the way as Scully kneels on Ricardo and begins to lay into his chest with a barrage of punches that are sure to exacerbate any lingering bruised ribs from earlier. Once Sayors is pulled away, Little Feather hands Scully a cable that had come unconnected, which he wraps around Ricky's throat and uses to choke the life out of the Lizard man. Sayors and Little Feather book it out of the way as Ricardo fights to get free.

He throws punch after punch into the ribs of Skull, but they fail to make a massive impact. As before, his punches start to slow, and lose force while Scully laughs and holds tight. With one last attempt at freedom, Ricardo throws everything he has into a headbutt that connects solidly with Skull's face, and causes him to release the grip. Ricardo bucks Scully off of him, and rolls onto all fours, and pulls the cable off his neck, while Skull sits up. They both push themselves up to their feet with Skull showing little to no signs of slowing down, and Tricky Ricky is gasping for air again. Grande starts to back away from Scully, who calmly stalks the lizard lover. Scully backs Ricardo into the cafeteria where some of the referees are eating. Scully chuckles as he gets an idea. He scoops up Rick, and running powerslams him through the referee table. It collapses under the weight of the superstars, and sends food flying in the air. Scully goes for a quick pin. All the referees instinctively go for a count.

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Shoulder up just as a hand was about slap for a third count. Scully pops to his feet and begins to lift Ricardo up, who drives his head into Scully's midsection, while grabbing Scully's legs. He lifts Scully, and holds him on his shoulders for a minute before going for a Samoan drop onto what's left of Mika's Krab salad. Rick rolls off of Skull before popping back to his feet, and leaping into the air for a double chest stomp, causing some pain to Scull. Sliding his feet off of Scully, Rick runs out of the room, allowing Scully time to get up, dust himself off, and charge after him. Down the corridor passed the women's locker room, Skull thinks about checking in there, but then he remembers Rick isn't into women, so he ignores it, and moves down the hall. He sees a brunette woman standing around with a bright pink robe on, so he figures he'd ask if she saw Ricardo go by. As Scull approaches, he extends his arm to tap her on the shoulder, causing a small jump. She turns, and DIAMOND CUTTER! Bamboozled, it was Grande in disguise. With Scully down, and pops up, and sees a stack of cases for the equipment beside them, and pulls it down on top of Scully before trying to take off again. Unfortunately for Ricardo, he's accidentally wrapped a cord around his ankle, which trips him up and sends him down.

Scully pushes the cases off of him, and pops to his feet with Ricardo undoing the cord and getting to his feet. Both men stare each other down, and lock up again, this time with Scully losing out, and Ricardo slamming him into the roll up access door, and grabbing hold of a case on wheels and slamming it into him. Scull manages to dodge that, and hit a sick Pele kick that puts a good size crack in Ricardo's helmet and knocks him back into Little Feather, who was trying to flex in peace again. He retorts by shoving Grande towards Scully who's ready and destroys Grande with a well timed "Da End" (Cross Rhoades) and then a cover.





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3!!!

Winner: Scully

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Chris Chaos - vs - Bearded War Pig Brass Knucks on a Pole!

Well, this should be a good one...Bearded War Pig versus Chris Chaos Knucks on a Pole!

You know, I submitted like 10 much better “...on a pole” ideas for this match. I can't believe they didn't take any of them. Like, Tide Soap Pods on a pole....

That's all really fascinating stuff, Luca.

....Bean Bag Riot Gun on a pole....bottle of pissed off fire ants on a pole (they're pissed because somebody shook the bottle)....





Introducing first, he hails from Lake Station Michigan and weighs in at 224 pounds....BEARDED WAR PIG!!!!

The arena is moderately quiet when suddenly birds chirping the Star Spangled Banner begin to pierce the ears of everyone in attendance from the rafters above. This goes on for about fifteen to twenty seconds, then a brief moment of silence...

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

A crashing commotion startles some of the fans before the instrumentals to "B.M.F" by Upon a Burning Body erupts from the arena's surround sound system. Simultaneously Red, White, and Blue flames erupt down and then back up the rampway. The flames die down and "The Wild" Motherfucker, Bearded War Pig stands proud and invincible. His Boomstick resting on the right shoulder strap of his flack jacket that's covering his bare chest. Repetitively his weight shifts to the left and right his balls swing freely under his American Flag patterned silkies. Pig's thousand yard stare becomes a fierce warrior like grin as he points the barbwire buttstock end of his Boomstick toward the ring. Exploding like a well-stacked IED, BWP begins bouncing down the rampway with a shit-eating grin to the beat of his theme music. Sliding into the ring under the bottom ropes Pig quickly and powerfully charges to the nearest turnbuckle, hopping into the air both his ranger laced combat boots land firmly on the second turnbuckle. Pig's left foot rises to the top turnbuckle as he raises his Boomstick in the air with his right hand and his 'Boom' knucks with his left!

"Bearded! War! Pig!"

Begins to erupt from the majority of the people in attendance. Pig begins making harsh and violently disturbing remarks about his opponent(s), something similar to Stone Cold Steve Austin before climbing down off the turnbuckle. BWP then struts around the whole squared circle like a predator circling his prey. Stopping in his corner after making one complete lap Pig tosses his Boomstick outside the ring and begins stretching and cracking bones while waiting for the match to begin...


And his opponent, he comes from Clearwater Beach, Florida and weighs in at 240 pounds, CHRIS CHAOS!






The words "FOLLOW ME" show up on the X-Tron screen as smoke billows at the entrance. Blue and white lights flicker. At the 10 second mark, he steps through the smoke wearing his jacket (Rated R Edge trench coat). Looking to both sides of the crowd. He walks slowly to the ring until he gets about 3/4 of the way down, then jogs and slides into the ring (edge style)...When he gets into the ring he gets up on the far turnbuckle and gets up on it, throwing both arms up. 


....Game Boy Color on a pole....Minority Report Sick Stick on a pole....

You're still doing this?

Nobody's stealing these fresh ideas, yo.


The bell rings and the match is underway. Chris Chaos immediately races for the pole!


The wily former Universal Champion going for the weapon right away!


But BWP is not letting him have it that easy! As Chaos climbs the turnbuckle to reach for the prize, BWP grabs him by the hair and rips him down HARD! BWP then drops a big elbow on Chaos, then dragging him to the center of the ring where he stomps him repeatedly. Chaos eventually rolls away and to his feet. BWP locks up with him then, switching behind him into a rear waist lock before transferring into a rear sleeper hold, but Chaos slides down and out, rolls away. BWP comes at him again, but Chaos surprises the veteran with a big time spinning heel kick!

Chaos looks for the knucks again, but seeing BWP already starting to get up he dropkicks BWP down to the mat before racing to the pole again. He reaches up, trying to unhook the knucks but it seems to be taking a while.


What, do you have to solve a Rubik's Cube up there first?


Chaos looks frsutrated. BWP rouses, gets under Chaos legs and powerbombs him down to the canvas! BWP then mounts the turnbuckle himself to get the weapon! Chaos starts to stir, and he grabs the back of BWP's trunks pulling him down to the mat and into a big time clothesline! Chaos drags BWP away from the pole and locks in a Boston Crab! BWP cries out in pain, pounding the mat and struggling for the rope.


He's gotta get there, it looks like Chaos has that locked in good and tight.


BWP finally breaks the hold by grabbing the bottom rope. Chaos forces BWP to his feet and irish whips him into the ropes. BWP puts the breaks on by holding the ropes and turns towards the pole, but Chaos interrupts him with a spear! BWP falls into the corner with the pole, and Chaos follows him with some shoulder rams that cause Pig to drop t the canvas. Chaos starts to drag BWP out of the way, but BWP surprises him by kicking him away! Chaos falls to his back and BWP jumps on top of him and mounts him, nailing him with a series of angry punches. BWP then picks Chaos up and viciously whips him into a neutral corner, followed by a big splash!

Chaos stumbles out of the corner and BWP nails him with a big Muy Thai syle leaping knee to the face. BWP heads for the pole again.


Chaos needs to move, BWP is gonna be deadly with those knucks!

But think of how much better this would all be with an ambiguously labeled bag of blood as the weapon.

Okay, we get it!


BWP is working on the clamps holding the knucks in place. Chaos starts to stir and seeing how close Pig is a look of fear comes over his face! He runs to the corner and clambers up right next to BWP, and then takes flight, bringing him crashing to the mat with a floating neck breaker! Both men are down after that!


What a move!


Chaos stirs first, he picks BWP up to a vertical position and starts throwing punches, backing BWP into the ropes before clotheslining him up and over! Chaos then follows BWP to the outside as the ref counts them down!

1....


2....


Chaos grabs a cup of soda from a fan at ringside and as BWP turns around to face him Chaos splashes the drink in his eyes! Chaos then irish whips BWP right into the ring steps, causing the Motherfucker to crash into them hard! Smelling blood, Chaos advances on him.

3....


4....

Chaos picks up the ring steps, but BWP responds by punting Chaos right in the junk! Chaos drops the ring steps! Pig gets vertical and picks up the steps himself. He runs at Chaos with them, but Chaos ducks and rolls back into the ring. The ref yells at Pig that he can't bring the steps in with him, so he tosses them aside reluctantly. Chaos lunges on Pig as he rolls in, stomping him. BWP weathers the storm, finaly snapping up to his feet and hitting Chaos with a short arm clothesline.

Pig starts going for the pole, and Chaos gets up soon after. He forces Pig to turn around and they start trading blows, with Pig eventually getting the upper hand and he drops Chaos. Pig gets to the pole!


Man, this crowd is getting antsy. Somebody better get these knucks soon. You know what would pick up the pace here...?

Put it in writing.

I was about to say a shorter pole. A reasonable suggestion, no?

My ulcers have ulcers.


Chaos runs up the turnbuckle to stand side by side with BWP now, and they are both frantically trying to grab for the knucks! Both men start trading blows as each tries to maintain some balance! A left from Pig....a Right from Chaos! A chop from Pig! A chop from Chaos!

Somebody's gotta have 'em here soon!


Chaos grabs Pig by the head and tosses him towards the ropes. On the return Chaos almost splits his opponent in half with a knee to the mid section followed by THE EQUALIZER!!!




1







2








3!!

Winner: Chris Chaos

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HART CHAMPIONSHIP TURMOIL MATCH APEX Robert Main & Drew Archyle - vs - The Purebred Killers Peter Gilmour & Michael McBride X-Treme Rules!If Gilmour or McBride pin Robert Main OR Drew Archyle, they become Hart Champion!

Tig O Bittes: This Tag is set for one fall...making their way to the ring first the Hart Champion Robert Main and Drew Archyle...APEX!!!


As their song plays Robert Main and Drew Archyle walk out to a crowd screaming their names. The men slap hands with a few fans before climbing into the ring awaiting their opponents.


Tig O Bittes: There Opponents tonight…. THE PUREBREAD KILLERS!





We simply see Gilmour and McBride walking down to the ring, and entering it. The stare at their opponents as the theme cuts off.

After the bell had rung, all four men start to brawl inside the ring. Gilmour and Drew Spill it to the outside, as Main and McBride brawl it inside the ring. Main then Irish Whip McBride to the ropes and connects a Strong Clothesline. McBride slowly gets on his feet, while holding his jaw. Main then Whips himself to the ropes to hit a Running Forearm, but gets dumped out the ring by Gilmour holding the top rope. Gilmour then Stomps on Main’s body, and Drew clocks Gilmour with the belt over his head. Drew helps Main up to his feet, but McBride comes to the outside and hits Drew with a bottle of Jack over the head. McBride tosses him inside the ring, and goes in for the pin…


1


2


KICKOUT!


“Man this bell already rung, and we still trying to figure who’s going to win this high stakes match of the evening.”

“…yep”


Drew Kicksout by two, and McBride lifts Drew to his feet and hits a Suplex on him. McBride tags in Glimour in, and he hits a Elbow Drop on Drew. Glimour taunts to the audience, and grabs Drew to his corner. Gilmour Tags in McBride, both men start Stomping on Drew in the corner. Main comes inside the ring and hits a Arm Drag Neckbreaker on Gilmour which causes him to roll to the outside. Main goes to the top rope, and hits a Missile Drop Kick on Gilmour.


McBride looks at the outside floor to see if Gilmour is okay. Drew slowly rolls out the corner and Roll Up McBride… with tights pulled as the ref counts…

1

2

KICKOUT!


“Drew is proving his worth in the company.”


“Of course he is… I mean, this kid go more sprit in him that Gilmour has in five years.”



McBride managed to break out at 2 ½. Drew goes to his corner, and tags Main in. Main lifts him up to his feet and hits a double Suplex on McBride. Both men Stomp on McBride, and Gilmour tries to come inside, but the ref holds him back to his corner. Gilmour shoves him off, as McBride tags him in.


Gilmour comes in Clothesline Drew and Main. Gilmour locks in a Chinlock that transition to a Camel Clutch on Drew. He breaks the hold and slaps him on the back of his head few times. Gilmour then tags in McBride and both men lift up Drew and hits…



THE MCBRIDE/GLIMOUR COMBO…



Gilmour and McBride stands side by side of Drew, and wait for Drew to get up. …






THEY HIT THE WICKED BARREL!





“I think the match is ov—“



Gilmour pins Drew…

1

2

TH—BREAKOUT


“Nevermind him speaking, fans.”


Main immediately breaks the pinfall, and McBride Spears Main. Both non legal men are back in their corners, as Gilmour places Drew legs on the turnbuckle post. Gilmour goes outside, and smashes his left leg on the post. Gilmour looks under the apron, and pulls out a chair. He measures the chair to the leg, and gives it another swing as Drew holds his left leg in pain.


“Working that leg is the smartest thing that Gilmour had done so far in the match.”


“Gilmour is trying to kick his left leg out of his left leg. If you don’t know the reference, 1994 y’all.”


Gilmour goes back inside the ring and tags in McBride to finish him off. But, Drew hot tags Main inside the ring. Main signals Drew to get some weapons, and Drew hands him a chair and a crowbar to use. Main then hits McBride in the guts and back with the chair. Main sets the chair in the middle of the ring and lifts McBride up and Whips him to the ropes and hits a Drop Toe Hold on the chair, which busted McBride open.


“Oh my god… McBride busted wide open by Main’s Toe Hold!”

“Oh…”


Main then goes into the corner and tunes up the Apex Band, as soon McBride slowly got to his feet, Main hits a Superkick that only made him dizzy. Main then lifts him inverted DVD Position… walks to the chair….




DEAD MAN’S HAND ON THE CHAIR!


Drew rushes in the ring and hits Gilmour with Ill Gotten Gains before he could break it up the pin. Drew rolls Gilmour out of the ring and backs himself into the corner allowing Robert Main to make the pin on Michael McBride.


1








2










3!!!

Winners: APEX - Robert Main and Drew Archyle

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Universal Championship Match Robbie Bourbon - vs - Danny Imperial

Tig O'Bitties: And now, it is time for your WARFARE MAIN EVENT! The following contest is for the XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP!







Tig O'Bitties: Introducing first, the challenger, from New York City... he is a former XWF Hart Champion... weighing 215 pounds... DANNNNYYYYYYY IMPEEEEERIAALLLL!!!



"Hail To The King" Blares through the speakers as laser multi-colored lights move haphazardly through the stadium. As the heavy guitar drops, two opposite flares shoot out from the base of the entrance. A crazed, grinning Danny Imperial walks out from behind the curtain. He runs a hand across his face, pulling back his hair.


He strolls down the ramp towards the ring, smugly glancing from side to side, giving Betsys in the crowd a wink as he passes them. He slides smoothly into the ring, crawling up to the announce, Tig O' Bitties. Climbing up one of the turnbuckles. He sticks both hands into the air and licks his lips in anticipation.


He leaps off the turnbuckle, walking to the center of the ring as a blue light shines on him. He simulates a crown on his head, lifting the imaginary crown and placing it at the center of the ring. He walks back to a turnbuckle, and lies across the ropes awaiting his opponent.



Tig O'Bitties: And his opponent...







A series of fireworks fire off on the stage and the arena goes dark the following sentence is heard over the PA.



"It was at this moment he knew...



...he fucked up."



Tig O'Bitties: Fighting out of Washington D.C., weighing a slim 290... he is the reigning XWF Universal Champion... the man of the people... ROOOBBBBBIIIEEE BOURRBONNNNNN!!!



The opening chords to Nobody Speak permeate throughout the air as Robbie's music starts to play throughout the arena. Across the X-Tron, we see the exact same thing as what is traditionally used as Robbie Bourbon's banner on the XWF website as Robbie steps out. He raises his arms to 45 degree angles while the X-Tron shows clips of Robbie standing on top of the Elimination Chamber followed by the massive dive through the top onto Trax, Robbie forcing Vinnie Lane to sign his contract mid-match, Robbie Bourbon scoring a pinfall against Chris Chaos, and Robbie delivering the final blow to Barney Green's career by way of Robbiebomb onto the hood of the car. Robbie Bourbon pinning James Raven and hoisting the XWF Universal Championship belt high with both hands. Robbie starts to calmly walk down to the ring, taking his time to get there. He climbs the ring steps, stands on the apron, and turns his back to the ring, and raises his arms at 45 degree angles while jawing to the crowd, which is singing along to Nobody Speak. Robbie then enters the ring and points at the referee, jawing at him. He then spins, hops on the second turnbuckle, and raises his arms at 45 degree angles again.



Ding!! Ding!! Ding!!!



There's the bell, and our incredible main event is about to get started...



Danny and Robbie charge one another, but as Rob nears the center of the ring, he suddenly drops and rolls away, exiting the ring and standing on the floor looking back up at a flummoxed Imperial.


Danny holds his hands up in confusion, then beckons Bourbon to come back into the ring. Robbie puts a knee on the apron and grabs the middle rope, elevating himself just a bit, but drops back down with a smirk.



What is going through the mind of Robbie Bourbon right now, Luca?


That nigga scared.


Looks more like mind games to me. We've seen Bourbon stand in the face of adversity many times in the past!


Danny Imperial again beckons for Bourbon to join him in the ring, jaw jacking him from between the ropes while Bourbon continues to stand outside the ring with his hands on his hips. Referee Lawanda Sass begins a ten count as Robbie continues to wander aimlessly at ringside.



1!



2!



3!



Danny Imperial gets in the face with Sass, imploring her to not count the champion out of the ring. She widens her eyes and her head starts slinking back and forth from shoulder to shoulder in that well-known AW HELLLLLL NAW manner, and she vigorously points to the XWF logo on her zebra striped shirt.


Outside the ring, Bourbon reaches into the crowd and pulls a folding chair out from under a young fan, plopping it down near the timekeeper's area and grabbing th ring bell hammer away from Nipsey Russel, waiting for the conclusion of the count.



4!



5!



6!











OH MY GOD!!!









Danny Imperial launches himself from a running start in the middle of the ring up and over the corner and into a suicide dive onto the champion in repose!

Imperial scoops Robbie out of the chair and drags him to the rolling him under the bottom rope to get back into the ring itself and thenn climbing onto the apron as Bourbon gets to his feet...



Slingshot shoulderblock!



BOURBON SIDESTEPS!



Bourbon palms the back of Imperial's head as he moves away, slamming him face first into the canvas and then standing again with hands on hips, looking down as Imperial struggles to shake away the cobwebs.



"Come on! Get up!"



Robbie chides Imperial, who looks up at him with fury. Rob nudges him with a toe and Imperial angrily stands up, going nose to nose with the masked champion and shouting into his face. Robbie looks pleased with himself.



I have to say, this is a completely different approach than any other time I've witnessed Bourbon in the ring...


I told you, he SCARED homie! My boy Imp got the juice.


The... juice?


Yeah, brah, you know it.


Frustrated, Imperial continues to yell in Bourbon's face until Robbie half-heartedly shoves him away. When Imperial returns the favor, shoving Robbie with much more force, Bourbon collapses like he's been shot with a sniper rifle and lays flat on the mat, inviting Imperial to cover him.



Imperial instinctively covers!



1!





2!



Imperial gets up off of Bourbon!





What the hell is this fool doing?!?


I... I have no idea what's happening right now.



Imperial stands and talks to the official, pointing at Robbie who has still not moved a muscle and just remains on his back with a gin peeking out from beneath his mask.


Lawanda Sass shrugs and holds her hands up, because ain't nobody got time for that. Imperia paces the ring... and then lies down next to Bourbon! Both men now on their backs, Sass has no choice but to begin yet another ten count!



1!



2!



3!



4!



"You idiot! Pin me already!"



Bourbon whisper-shouts from his back, but Imperial ignores him. Bourbon then shimmies over to Danny and rolls over, grabbing Imperial by the arms and dragging him on top of his own torrso, then plants his shoulders back down on the mat! Sass with a count!



1!



Imperial leaps off of Robbie!



"God damn it!"


Bourbon stands up and dusts himself off, then gets into Danny's grill.


"Stop pussyfooting and get this over with, or I'll slap the shit out of you!"



Robbie spits with anger, and Danny Imperial just shakes his head no. Finally, Robbie makes good of his word by slapping his big meathook across the mush of Imperial, and Imperial pauses, checking to see if his lip is split... then clobbers Bourbon with a forearm shot to the skull!



ROBBIE HITS THE DECK AGAIN!



Bourbon takes the forearm like he got hit by a Buick Skylark, collapsing motionless yet again to the mat and even offering up a leg to be hooked.


Danny Imperial looks sick to his stomach. He throws his hands in the air and begins to exit the ring, leaving Bourbon on his back looking up at the lights, but not the way he'd hoped to.


Imperial exits the ring and starts to head up the ramp!



I think Danny Imperial is abandoning his title shot!


Gee, you think so Pip? What gave it away, dog?



In the ring, Lawanda Sass starts another count.



1!



2!



3!



4!



5!



6!



Halfway up the ramp, Imperial stops and looks back at the ring, perhaps reconsidering his decision to eschew the cheap title win.



7!



8!

















I WANNA ROCK!!!!











Luca, things just got interesting...


The crowd explodes with raucaus applause as the selftitled "King" of the XWF, owner and creative force behind the business, "Loverboy" Vincent Lane walks out from behind the curtain and stands at the top of the ramp!


Lane doesn't celebrate or dance to his music however, and quickly asks for it to be cut off.


"Whoa, whoa, whoa... Lawanda... stop the count. Stop it. Don't bother ringing the bell."


Lane paces back and forth on the stage, holding the microphone at his side while he anxiously adjusts his hot pink bandanna. Danny Imperial turns and watches him silently.


"Danny... dude... I'm sorry. I don't know what the heck is going on hre tonight, man, and I don't know what Robbie's problem is. This was supposed to be the biggest night in your young XWF career! Your first Universal Title shot, right here on the main event of an international Warfare! Just you and the top guy, one on one, no BS... and instead, we got ALL the BS!"


The crowd boos and starts chanting "BS! BS! BS!" Vincent holds a hand up to quiet them before he continues.


"I've got no explanation. I've never seen this happen before. And as for you, Robbie... man, I am so disappointed."


Vincent just stares up at the ring where Robbie has gotten to his feet and is leaning over the top rope watching with a half smile. The Universal Champion shrugs.


"No dude... don't just shrug your shoulders and blow it off like it's no big deal. You walked in here with the biggest prize in this business on your shoulder. I've been in the ring with you, dude, when I HELD that title, and you and me went to war for it. The Robbie Bourbon I wrestled a couple years back isn't the same guy who'd walk to the ring as champion and just take a dive like a CHUMP."


The crowd pops as Lane's emotions start to show. His voice cracks and he starts to yell louder.


"I battered my body for that gold. I spent months at a time on the road for that gold. I ended my CAREER defending that gold. And I am not letting some pompous, lazy, champion take a crap all over it. Not on my watch, dude!"


The crowd pops again as Robbie feigns disinterest, actually turning away from Lane and leaning his back on the ropes instead.


"So here's what's going to happen... Danny... I'm sorry man, but you didn't defeat the champion tonight, and it wouldn't be right for me to award the match and the title to you. I hope you understand."


Imperial nods and mouths "okay" at Lane.


"But you deserve better than what you got. I know you want to earn this championship, I can see the fire in your eyes even from ten feet away from you, dude... you've got that hunger! You want to FIGHT for it! I respect the heck out of that, man, and I'm going to let it happen. Robbie Bourbon?"


In the ring, Robbie pretends to not be sur if he heard his name or not, asking a perturbed Lawanda Sass if Lane is talking to him.


"You know I'm talking to you, jackass, now look me in the eye while I do this or I might just nullify your contract."


The crowd gives a big "OHHHH!" as Lane's threat hovers in th air. Robbie turns around with a frown of anger on his face, mouthing an animated "whatever."


"Robbie Bourbon... you've disgraced the XWF Universal Championship, and you made the mistake of doing it on a night that I was in the back. So as of RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW TONIGHT... I hereby STRIP you of the Universal Title!"


WOW!


Can he do that? Can Lane just steal from people like that?


He certainly can! He's the boss, Luca!


"I am stripping you of the Universal Title, but in recognition of your status as the FORMER champion... I'm putting you into an eight man tournament starting on the next Warfare from Tunisia! And your first opponent... is Jim Caedus."


The crowd goes nuts at the mention of the 24/7 briefcase holder. A chant of "Caedus! Caedus!" Breaks out.


"And Imperial... you're in it too, buddy. You'll be squaring of against another former Universal Champion and XWF LEGEND in the flesh... PETER GOD DAMN GILMOUR!!!"



Crickets.



"We're gonna have Finn Kuhn taking on Chris Chaos! The Engineer will meet the Bearded War Pig, not only as an X-Treme Title defense, but as the final pairing in the Universal Championship tournament as well! Then when we get to Libya, the winners will square off to determine the two finalists... who will meet in the MAIN EVENT of Turning Point LIVE from Cairo Egypt! So bring your steel toed boots, boys, because you've got some fuckin' WORK to do. NOW hit my god damn music!"


The X-Tron flares back to life and this time Vincent air guitars and hops on one foot like Eddie Van Halen across the stage as the crowd goes wild.


What an incredible and historic announcement from Vincent Lane! Turning Point will have an incredible main event, no matter who is in it!

Well, you know, unless the guy decides to just take a dive there too...

Quiet, Luca... that's all we have time for here tonight ladies and gentlemen! For Luca Arzegotti, I am Pip Collins... SEE YOU NEXT WARFARE!!!

Warfare fades from the air as the credits roll...

Great thanks to everyone who helped get this show together! Mezian Cadryn Tiberius John Black Grande Ricardo Theo Pryce XOXO

ooc: Dope show you guys! Opener was great, may sound kinda weird but Finn is a character I like "watching high-fly" and whomever wrote that match did a fantastic job with both he and Chasm. The under to mid card matches were not only entertaining but funny af. A personal thank you to the handicap match writer, since that, I think, first Bilbo post with the Ricky "I deserve this!" video (which makes me lmao, ask Gravy, he'll tell you) I've wanted to see Caedus and Bilbo interact lol That was also a cool twist at the end I thought and though I realize PP isn't keen on the idea I think Panzer/BBD/Bilbo could potentially be a hilarious trio. Roxy, I voted for ya =D wish I could afford the Xshop item tho L O L whoever thought to put the Please Stand By with Spanish Flea bit, xD kickass Scully/Ricardo is one of my favorite matches on the card, I can't get over the image of the Zoidberg scuttling and screeching lol The final 3 were excellently executed, exactly what I'd expect and the main event, shocking turn of events, that's a hardcore twist right there. Danny your roleplay work for that match was fire, keep it up man! On a personal note, you guys know I don't get to watch much TV so, beyond how much I enjoy reading everyone's match writing and IC work on a general level, the cards themselves very much represent my weekly exposure to wrestling, albeit envisioned. This week was a big downer for me irl, details aren't important but what is is all you who put this card together got my mind off of the bullshit for awhile and I wanna thank you for distracting me and helping me get some laughter and excitement going "watching" the show. ::multi-fistbump::

Shout out to Gator/Noah Jackson for this kickass banner





~XWF ALL TIME TOP 50 - #6!!!! <3
~Efed Podcast Top 100 - #74 w/no Twitter (all credit to you, fam, 🙏 <3)
~XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF XTREME CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION w/Chaos then Engy, w/APEX x2 - 3x 
~XWF 24/7 Briefcase - 3x
~XWF Trio Tag Champion w/Ax3 - 1x
~XWF Television Champion - 1x (undefeated)
~XWF Federweight Champion - 2x
~XWF Triple Title Holder - 1x (TV, Federweight & 24/7 case)
~XWF Double Title Holder - 5x (TV/Fedr, Uni/Trio, Tag/24/7, X/24/7 & Uni/Tag)
~XWF 2017 Lethal Lottery IV Tournament winner!!
~XWF 2017 Leap of Faith Rafter Match winner!!
~XWF 2017 2nd Annual Doc D'Ville Shove-It Rumble Co-Winner w/Chaos!!
~XWF 2017 War Games Co-Winner with Rob Main & Drew Archyle as APEX!!
~XWF Feb. 2017 J. Federweight Scramble Winner!!
~XWF January 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Like a Moth to the Flame"
~XWF February 2017 Star of the Month!!
~XWF March 2017 3-Way Star of the Month!!
~XWF September 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Lions & Tigers & Caedus, Oh Shit"
~XWF July 2021 QOTM!! - line from "Took It All"
~XWF October 2021 RP of the Month!! - "This Just In" audio
~XWF November 2021 Star of the Month!! (3rd time!!!!!!)
~XWF Match of the Year 2021 w/Bourbsy!! - X-Treme, Flynn's Audio Shove-It


---Love Me, Like Me, Hate Me. No Worries---

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In Loving Memory of Captain Dick Powers

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Shout out to Gravy for these kickass banners

The Unchained Prince

How quickly Mother Fuckers crash and burn!



Robert Grins

Former:

x2
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Longest Reigning Tag Team Champions in modern history. W- Drew Archyle & James Raven
Longest Reigning Hart Champion in modern history:280 days
2nd longest reigning Universal Champion :269 days
Tag Team Champions W- "Chronic" Chris Page as Cataclysm
Trio's Champion W- AX3
2020 May Superstar Of The Month
Winning Team Wargames 2020
Winning Team War Games 2019 W- APEX PROPHECY
2019 Feud of the year W- "Chronic" Chris Page
2019 Tag Team of the Year W- Drew Archyle & James Raven as APEX
Roleplay of the Month February 2019 "Junkyard Dog"
Leap Of Faith Winner 2018
July 2018 Superstar Of The Month
December 2018 Superstar Of The Month
December 2017 Superstar Of The Month
Winning Team War Games 2017 W- APEX
Mr. 24/7