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Prof. Bobby Bourbon · (12-29-2017)

So, this is who the Universe has to offer?

I mean, Jim Caedus and Robert Main bring a big game, but don't want to take the champ on one on one, the ole' four on two screw-a-roo is the way they wanna run, so I get why those jokers aren't coming at me for a fair fight right now.

The Engineer did indeed prove himself to be a worthy ally, I guess, forsaking going after my title to team up with an enemy.

Wait, that one I can't really wrap my head around, but meh, I reckon I trusted the Engineer before, no reason to stop now. Or something. I mean, the logic is there, but leaving me and Pig to get outnumbered like that...

Robbie shrugs.

Well I had been in absentia, so I guess pissing and moaning about that is just kinda childish.

Engy, next time bud, and I sincerely congratulate you on being the dominant half of the tag team champs, but next time we're set to headline a show against anybody, give us a little heads up.

I know it's fun, since you and Jim are rivals and all, but the Motherfuckers were outclassed in every way at War Games.

Made pointless.

Rendered harmless.

Punked the fuck out.

The way I sees it, every shitty thing that Jimbo and Bob had to say about us was absolutely right.

We aren't a threatening team. We aren't cohesive, we don't win, we're chumps.

But that's us.

Me, on the other hand, am such a huge chump I got eliminated twice, I got mollywopped by Graves after announcing to the universe that I was assisting in reversing the decline of the bee population, and eventually put on the backburner as a joke of a champion and a waste of XWF payroll as a wrestler.

Kinda shitty when you diagnose a problem and see the same face you see in the mirror.

So, time to step up and prove to myself that I deserve something.

Lord knows I've been doling out what's deserved to a lot of other people, but now is high time I took a long hard look at myself.

The King of the Jobbers, Universal Champion.

The walking oxymoron.

Notorious.

It's high time I just got my big ass in the ring and do something.

So I don't have a real contender in front of me, not by a long shot.

Hell, Chasm would have been a contender by comparison.

But Finn Kuhn?

The biggest fucking waste of space in the XWF. Show up, call someone liebchen, tell us all how fit and ready to fight you are, blah, blah, blah.

That's not something worrying me.

I mean, I got half the whole damn universe gunning for me.

Michael Graves wants a piece of me, a shot at my title.

Jim Caedus wants to take my head off with his own and take away the belt.

Robert Main hopes and prays on the daily someone can catch me in the ring and walk out the champion.

James Raven thinks I've squandered something he supposedly handed me.

Everybody wants a piece of me.

Except Finn Kuhn.

Everybody wants to come knock me off the pedestal, no matter how low I set it.

Except Finn Kuhn.

Everybody can come get their shot, I'm not running, I'm not hiding, I'm right the fuck here.

And I will be at Warfare.

Defending my title against some chickenshit little fart who doesn't have a snowballs chance in hell of beating me.

A fuckwad waiting to get wrecked by yours truly, the Wednesday Night Wrecker.

XWF, you are hereby on notice. Step on up, come on down, quit running your mouth and get it sealed shut by the ornery prick holding the big gold, or just run around being a little bitch.

Finn Kuh, you are on notice too.

Start fitting your career for a coffin.

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