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JimCaedus · (12-17-2017)

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"Gifting for a Pig"

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The following PREVIEW has been approved for hacks, gays, gay hacks, American adults who inexplicably spell Los Angeles as Las Angeles like they've impossibly never seen it in text before and former military personnel turned pro-wrestler who were somehow too queer & inept to land a job in law enforcement getting paid (and acquitted) for gunning down unarmed civilians and whom also compensate for their lack of a romantic life via desperately uploading short, contrived, self-revealing violently homosexual hype videos en masse as if a dumpster fulla dogshit has more value than a pocket fulla gems.

FADE IN CLOSE-UP on the peaceful, undisturbed surface of sullied and clouded water.

::BLOOMP::

A large bubble rises from the depths and breaks free of the surface with a POP.

CUT TO OVERHEAD VIEW of a chubby, bearded, pale-due-to-agoraphobic-levels-of-avoiding-the-sun-like-a-loser-hermit adult Caucasian male in a bathtub half full, laughing hysterically, slapping at the water while more bubbles rise and pop. A massively plump log of excrement belying bbc-blown-out providence suddenly bobs to the surface like a bloated corpse or every War Pig promo ever. The adult child's expression switches from elation to dread.

Uh-ooooh, poopyyyys!

Joshua looks around to ensure no one is watching, then grabs the poop tightly with his left hand, too tightly in fact, brown doo-doo ribbons squeezing out from between his fingers like a Play-Do "spaghetti" press.

Joshua's left poop filled hand disappears beneath the surface as he leans to his left side, exposing his buttocks. We watch as he uses his right hand to pull his right ass cheek away from the left...

You get in there poopys!

...then wrestles the turd back up his anus, receiving much pleasure in the process. His eyes roll into the back of his head as tendrils of a viscous white substance now rise to the surface while he licks his palm and fingers clean of poop.

(dramatic soundtrack)

CUT TO Joshua sat and clapping excitedly at the dinner table wearing a bib, his mother serving him and his father tossed salads.

Joshua explodes, bellowing in a fit of rage, throwing the salad across the room, upturning the table then tackling his mother and clubbing her like a gorilla while his father ineffectually beats him about the head with a frying pan screaming "NO, JOSHUA, NO! BAD JOSHUA!"

CUT TO Joshua in his parent's backyard screaming like a lunatic and firing an M-16 at the morning sun.

When the sun remains shining he bellows in frustration and flips the weapon around to inspect the barrel closely with his right eye.

FADE TO BLACK

::BLAM!!::

CUT TO Joshua's father with a towel around his waist in the bathroom, shaving in front of the fogged-up mirror.

Without warning the bathroom door opens to reveal a giggling Joshua sporting a tiny boner with his pants and underwear down around his ankles. His father turns, dropping his razor, raising his arms like Ric Flair pleading off.

Joshuaaaaaaaa, he says with a warning tone.

Joshua advances clumsily, tackling him. His father hits his head on the toilet on the way down, losing consciousness. Joshua then lifts and spreads his dad's legs missionary style to insert and pump away at his asshole.

Joshua's mother runs in with a baseball bat, ineffectually beating her son about the head with it and shouting NO, JOSHUA, NO! BAD JOSHUA!". His rhythm speeds up.

Joshua ends with a quick, loud finish and pulls out, creampie oozing from his father's bunghole. He stands, clapping.

I gon' have a baby brother noooow!

CUT TO CLOSE UP on Joshua's wide though seemingly vacant open eyes. We begin to pull back...

...Joshua's entire top half is now in frame and he appears to be in the middle of some paved highway in the country advancing on our pov, huge open mouthed dopey smile with hands and arms outstretched towards us. We continue pulling back...

...to reveal he's penguin shuffling towards the lens with his pants and underwear down around his ankles, shrimp dick flopping.

From behind we watch and see he's shuffling forward to a small army of SWAT officers, Main and Drew among them in costume, aiming their weapons at him over their vehicles.

"TAKE 'IM DOWN!"

DRAMATIC SLO-MO Joshua's body violently spasms and dances around as the cops pepper him with an overkill shower of AR-15 fire. CUT TO a grenade landing at his feet. BOOM!! Joshua splatters. Seconds later, his head falls from the sky and bounces off a patrol car hood to the pavement.

CUT TO CLOSE-UP of the head, that same stupid smiling gape across his face.

The cops open fire on his head, it bounces around like a Mexican jumping bean before it meatily explodes.

::BLACK::
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