They’ll call this blasphemy

Gideon Algernon Mantell sat at his desk and looked over the tooth that had just been found. It appeared to be from a giant lizard, but he couldn’t be sure. Perhaps this was just the bones of a domestic farm animal. But it couldn’t be, the bones were too thin and hollow. Whatever it was this was surely the most exciting thing he had found in a long time. Mantell called his assistant over.

Do you see this this tooth here? It’s far too big for a normal lizard of it’s kind. This had to have been enormous.

Mantell’s assistant didn’t say a word, but sat back with his mouth completely agape.

Say something!

This is the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen

Normally a geologist, Mantell had been given some rock samples that had contained one of these teeth. In examining it, he had determined that it couldn’t have come from anything that still existed. There had been rumblings amongst some paleontologists that these great creatures could have once lived, but for the most part people dismissed these as monsters and they weren’t scientifically studied.

But to state that these creatures were created by God and no longer existed, that’s what stirred up real controversy. People clung to the fact that science had to be explainable within the realms of what the Bible told them, and the Bible didn’t talk about monsters. That’s where the real line occurred between what he could do and what he wanted to do. Trying to explain the validity of something that the world didn’t think existed was something that could get him laughed out of the scientific community.

There must be an explanation for everything…

He had been a medical doctor in a previous life, before the lure and the appeal of geology overtook him. That life was so much easier, everything could be explained, and most things had a direct cure. But there was no appeal to his fascination there. The medical field wasn’t big enough for Mantell. He had to transcend into explaining the unknown in the world, showing that the world was bigger than most gave it credit for.

As he examined the tooth, he found the same fascination he felt when he had been at his first dig. He held a constant inner monologue with himself.


How do you bring something new into existence? How do you create a creature that’s not there?

He slowly compared the tooth once more to a normal Iguana tooth. Other than slight structure resemblance, this was completely different.

How do you fight a system that will accuse you of playing God?

He knew this was something he had to stand for. He might be treated as one of science’s biggest jokes once people hear what he was pitching, but his conscience wouldn’t allow it.

This was something worth fighting for.
-----------------------------------------




Neville stood outside of the Cuckfield Museum in West Sussex. This was a pretty remarkable place. There was a mix of restored buildings to make it resemble an old high street. There was a wooden spoon museum that was the envy of the world. And there were dinosaurs, everywhere. This was the place where Gideon Mantell had made one of the most famous paleontological discoveries of the past two centuries. It all started with a tooth.

In a giant field outside of the museum, Neville viewed the recreations of dinosaurs and found himself admiring things as if he was a little kid again.

There’s something inside every little boy that makes him love dinosaurs, isn’t there? You see these gargantuan creatures and you wish that they still existed because they’re fascinating. Walking amongst these figures here reminds me of what it was like to be a kid again. I still felt the same excitement and enthusiasm to think that at one time in history, they walked here! Unless Jurassic Park is to be believed, this is the closest I’ll ever get to walking with the dinosaurs. Plastic dinosaurs will have to suffice in my life.

Neville stands near a recreation of a fully grown Iguanadon and runs his hand down it’s spiked back.

I almost felt that same kind of boyish excitement another time this week. Watching Finn Kühn trying to fight Jack Cain made me remember what it was like years ago when I was first breaking into federations. I have to admire his courage as he went right in at Jack Cain, thinking that he had a chance. Warfare hasn’t aired yet, I don’t know if he even has a chance of beating him, but the excitability I saw in him made me smile like I was watching a puppy take on a bone way too big for him. Then I saw him get booked for a match against me for the tv title, and the excited puppy look came right back. He actually thought he had a chance with things!

Neville glances over to a father and son walking through the park of dinosaurs. The kid excitedly pointing at everything, and the father being dragged along.

You see that boy over there? The odds are, he will never be more excited about that fake dinosaur. Call it childish wonder. But you wouldn’t call him a paleontologist would you? Asking him to study dinosaurs would be like asking Jack Cain to give a book report. They might do it, but it would simply come out as incoherent gibberish. So why wouldn’t you call him a scientist? Because excitement alone doesn’t get you places. You have to study, put in work, and understand how the field you’re going into works. Finn Kühn, this is how I look at you when I see you eye up the championship belts. You get really excited, talk a decent game, but have no idea how to become a champion. In the XWF, you are a rookie in the truest sense of the term. While I admire your enthusiasm and your excitement, I want this to be a week for you where you learn what being a champion is all about. I don’t know if you’ll ever get there, but since you have the courage to step in the ring with a championship, I’ve decided to give you the “championship experience” this week.

Neville wanders over to a giant workhouse sitting on the same property. This would have been constructed after Mantell had been here. At one time it actually was a Canadian military building during World War II. But that’s the point, when a place becomes great, other things sprung up around it.

Lesson #1 – Achieve Greatness

One of the biggest tragedies of the past century has been that it’s been that moron, Donald Trump, that has coined the term of making something great again. Someone so beneath mediocrity has hijacked the word “great”, and most people are afraid to talk about it, let alone become it. But my first lesson to you is to achieve greatness. This week, you’ve had a chance to really prove yourself in this federation, and honestly, you’ve proven to be as boring as anyone else in this federation. Watching your promos bring about the same kind of excitement as when I accidentally leave on my television and Coronation Street comes on. Man in Coma. Check. Running from Police. Check. Overly dramatic monologues acted out by someone with very little thespian talent. Double Check.

Neville looked up the large building. This used to house the working class in this town.

Finn, come on man, you can do better than this. Acting too tough for hospitals and running from the police. This is all stereotypical stuff in the wrestling world. Here’s where I bring this to a lesson, you need to “wow” people. Don’t just watch other people’s stuff and try to make it your own. The reason I brought you here to look at dinosaurs is because there actually had to be someone crazy enough to fight the system and argue dinosaurs into existence. Can you imagine how crazy it sounded for someone to bring the idea of giant lizards into the mainstream scientific world? Finn, on the outside understanding you as a champion seems like a scientific impossibility. It’s highly improbably, some people probably even believe it’s impossible. But your main job is to show us all that it can exist. Right now, you’re not doing that. You don’t sell anything to any of us other than an overly excitable, big-talking idiot who does actions we shake our heads at. Be Great. Be Memorable. Make others believe you deserve more than one shot. Be the reason people are excited about the XWF. Don’t just copy everyone else you’ve ever seen.

Neville walks over to list of names that sits on the street. These were all the people who had contributed to society from this town. These looked like just names now, but these were men and women who had meant something to the world.


Part of my sheer frustration with you Finn, and I know I’ve called you uninteresting before, is that I can barely get a read on who you are. Since “the young lion” seems too wordy, and I don’t really understand how the hell it’s a good nickname, I’m just going to call you “Simba” ok? Partially because you have the toughness of a Disney cartoon, and partially because all your bitching resembles a song he sings called “I just can’t wait to be king”. The funny part in all of that, is that in the 5 seconds it’s taken to come up with all of that, you now have a more interesting character than Finn Kühn ever was. I mean, you yell, you swear, you have a bad attitude. That’s the only thing I can understand about you. Everything else seems situational. If I was trying to write you into a movie, you wouldn’t even get a name, you’d be known as “awkward angsty teenager #4” because you offer so little to the narrative of what’s actually going on here.

Neville sees Mantell’s name on the list and smiles. Mantell was a great man, one who challenged the system and ultimately paid the price for it. As Neville thinks on Finn, he can only cringe thinking that he actually thinks he’s of any importance. There were great men, and then there was everyone else, people who lived their lives of little importance. Neville was a great man, Finn was everyone else.

So here’s a lesson you need to learn. Figure out who the hell you are. Stand out, pick something that matters and give everything you have to it. I bet you think that whenever you speak, everyone rushes to hear it. But we all know that there’s very little reason to listen to you because you never say anything important. I don’t respect you, this federation doesn’t respect you, and it’s obvious you have very little respect for yourself. If you want to one day be of any consequence in this federation, you need to figure out who you are, what makes you different, and get our attention. The luckiest thing for you now is that because of the title I hold, and a very generous booking agent, I have to notice you this week. Do something to stand out. Be interesting. Figure out who you and why you think we should notice you, and then talk to me. Because without that, I’ll barely listen. Got that, Simba?

Neville’s finally at the point in his day where he needs a Scotch. He knows he’s going to have to drink a lot this week with who he’s facing. He pulls out a 27 year old Littlemill Private Cellar Edition and takes a shot straight from the bottle. He needed something to take the edge off.

Lesson #3 – Grow the Hell Up

I watched your promos last week in horror, not because I feared anything about you, but because you acted like such an immature little fuck. Let's use painful wrestling moves on security guards who are just trying to do their job! Awesome! Let’s then run from the cops! How Cool! Finn Kühn, if I could say anything else to you tonight, I just need to let you know how much you truly irritate me. I don’t speak to this like you make me fearful, or that I feel threatened by you. Honestly, you are just one of those people who irritate me to no end. Like the guy who chews his own toenails. Or the guy who brings his own sound system to the public beach. I could go on, but know that you fit that description. You just… bug me, Finn. Do you even know what it takes to be a man? Have you ever lived anywhere other than your parents basement? Have you even gotten your first hair on your ball?

In all I’m saying, I want to challenge you to prove me wrong. Maybe you’ll do something great this week? The odds aren’t looking good for that. Maybe you’ll figure out something about yourself, that would be nice. But the one thing I need is that we have a man to man fight. I don’t want to continually feel like I’m fighting a 15 year old who doesn’t understand how the world works. Do me and you a favor and grow the fuck up.

Neville hits back a couple of shots and smiles

I honestly feel like I’m fighting a little boy playing with his dinosaurs. But little boys don’t get to play with adult toys. Would you trust a toddler with a gold belt?

Educating the XWF since 06/08/17