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Hero Xtreme 7.9 · (03-01-2017)

The scene opens to NOCMM reading the title of Jim Caedus or Rookiepool's promo, whichever one showed up before this one did. He could be reading both, who knows, this promo was filmed before theirs showed up so only Hero Xtreme 7.9 could know. It's tedious to ask God about such things. Why waste his time?

Anyway he's reading the title of a rookie

promo and it's so bad he kills a monkey in cold blood. Normally he'd be protective and make sure their blood didn't splatter all over the computer he looked up the title of their promo(s) on, but whatever. I guess the title was that bad, so bad that at no point will NOCMM address this title by name. It's so bad that no one as great as him could possibly say it.

NOCMM: I didn't get blood all over this computer because I'm a "Gen Xer" who hates technology. I did it because the title of that promo was so shitty I couldn't control my actions and take preventive measures. I'm sorry for disrespecting your creation, old skool fan who made this computer, sincerely and truly. My art was destroyed by some rookie, and then I turned around and got blood on the art of someone else. The only thing that makes me better than this rookie is that I have the sense to apologize.

NOCMM shakes his head at the

who thinks destroying the credibility of an art form is funny.

NOCMM: The ability to give a sincere apology is the most treasured skill. Hillary Clinton's biggest blunder was only saying "I regret saying that" instead of "I regret saying that, I'm sorry" and now we got an orange rookie as the president of the United States of America. It's sad that the old skool fans' votes for my client were shunned because of that whole separation of church and state thing, because then with 538 electoral votes my client would have ran this country much better than a rookie could, that's aside the point.

NOCMM digresses.

NOCMM: I'm shooting this promo to highlight this difference between these rookies and I. I have the balls to apologize, but not once did these rookies apologize for their shitty rookie promo names. They aren't sorry for adding these shit names to the pile and making public opinion of promo names go down. They aren't sorry for putting these names against classics like "God Always Main Events" and "Oaktree is

", and maybe they shouldn't. It does make my promo names sound even better by comparison, but they don't need it. They're already the best. They're 'clickbait' that give you exactly what you were looking for. For instance, you look at a promo called "Rookies are shit at naming promos 5", you think "Rookies are shit at naming promos, so I better watch that" and you watch it, and "WOW! Rookies are shit at naming promos, how dare they be that shitty! SLAY NOCMM! SLAY! YOU WOKE OLD SKOOL BAD ASS! Slay those fucking rookies!"

NOCMM's impression of the old skool fans is so dead-on and respectful. This male old skool fan voice is a voice that could sing a cisgendered woman to sleep, and talk as dirty as she wants.

NOCMM: If you're trying to make my promos sound even better, rookies, well you're well-meaning

then. That's awfully nice of you. It's too bad that nice rookie

finish last. In reality you're doing me no favors and you're doing the business no favors either. You're just being shitty rookies who can't name shit. Fuck you,

.

NOCMM is invisibly done with this. He counts the 350 xbux he'll receive for shooting this promo and wonders if it was even worth giving these fags any attention at all as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade to black

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Rookies are shit at naming promos 5
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