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**Doctor Louis D'Ville** · (09-13-2016)

004

Co-Pilot

Trevor's head smacks off of the side of the penisbike as it zooms 666 mph down a large freeway heading straight for the center of the huge city. He looks up to see the stranger he met earlier doing the driving.

It takes him a moment before he realizes he's strapped upside down to the stranger's back and isn't even on the bike. He reaches up and begins pounding on the stranger's leg trying to get his attention. The bike down shifts and hits an exit off of the freeway that they were conveniently approaching. They travel a little further down a short road and pull off into a packed video rental store parking lot. The stranger shuts off the engine to his cockacycle and steps off with Trevor still tied to his back.

"I was wondering when you were going to fucking wake up."

The demonic stranger says behind his back as he pulls a strap and releases his luggage. The top of Trevor's head meets the hard pavement. He struggles to his feet almost right away and catches his balance.

"What the hell's the matter with you anyway? You some kind of light weight or what?"

"I don't think so."

Trevor said, holding the top of his melon. The stranger laughs.

"It suuuuuure seemed like it. You dropped like a sack of shit."

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"After you passed out like a bitch, I was just going to leave your ass in the street. But uh..."

The stranger looks around and points a bit to the area around him. Trevor looks around and sees the similar bulletins and signs with his face plastered all over them.

"What the fuck is that all about?"

"I don't know, but I figured I'd give you a ride. It'd take you a year to walk and the public transportation is a joke. If Doc's broadcasting your ugly ass all over the city, it must be important."

"Doc?"

"Yes, motherfucker. Doc."

The stranger begins to walk over to one of the vehicles parked outside the video store.

"You know anything about C.diff?"

Trevor begins following after the stranger.

"The colon disease?"

"That's right."

"Well, I know THAT about it."

"So, you don't have it?"

"No. No, I don't."

"Figures."

The stranger approaches another motorocycle parked among several other vehicles. The motorcycle has a small sidecar attached to it for passengers. Trevor watches as the stranger walks up to it, grabs ahold of the sidecar, and rips it from the bike. He then carries the sidecar over to his Cockasawkee and pulls a large drill out of his ass.

ZIP!

ZIP!

ZIP!

Within seconds, the Cockasawkee was equipped with a sidecar.

"Holy shit, dude."

Trevor stands in awe as the stranger hops back on the cockbike and revs it up.

"Get in fuck face. I'd be Satan!damned if some asshole was riding bitch behind me on my Cock."

Trevor hops into the sidecar and before he could even get comfortable the cockcycle was zooming back onto the freeway at 666 mph!

He can barely keep his eyes opened, but even with them filling with tears from the hot air blasting into them, he can still make out the huge tower in the distance. He looks up and sees the stranger leaning forward, peering through his goggles, and his tongue hanging out at least three feet behind him. He finds another pair of goggles under his ass and shuffles around the best he can to fish them out.

Every thing they passed appeared to be sitting still as they zoomed in and out of traffic. Some asshole not using their turn signal changes lanes, just before stranger makes his own turn to another off ramp, and smashes into the side car. "FAWK!" The demidemon and Trevor shout aloud simultaneously as the Cockasawkee spins out of control for just a moment before the stranger gains it again and zooming off the freeway. The side car, however, flies mid air, crashes into the median, and slides to stop.

The conference room remained full. The large table surrounded by friends and colleagues alike while the doctor sits at it's head. He faces his audience with a grin a mile wide and a cigar poking out the side of it.

"You see, my friends. The Doctor and Unknown Soldier have ABSOLUTELY nothing to concern themselves about. The line-ups are in, the bets are on, and the very best of every team have already been unveiled."

The doctor rises to his feet and begins to slowly walk around the table. The large fireplace across the room ignites with a blast and flickers violently across the room. An image of Peter Gilmour takes shape on the tips of the flames, like his image was projected from inside the flame.

"Mister Gilmour, you've proven time and time and time and TIME again that your bark is FAR worse than your bite, and your bark isn't worth a DAMN. You dare claim that you haven't spent the last two years avoiding the GOOD DOCTOR? You and I have crossed paths ONE time in the doctor's reign over this UNIVERSE and the only reason was because I wouldn't budge from your path. I laid my UNIVERSAL TITLE in front of you on a silver platter with a potato, a veggie, and a soup or salad. You refused my challenge after I demanded a title defense against the X-Treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeme ICON. Even after humiliating you over the King of the XWF crown, even after ripping your ear from the side of your skull and spitting it in your whore's face.... You refused your own chance for revenge and refused me my trophy. You may not be worth anything NOW, Peter, but I will credit you with the fact that anytime the XWF is brought up in casual conversation, your name is likely to be mentioned, as well. So, that was ONE, teenie-tiny, itty-bitty, litte notch that I was NOT passing up on my belt. It went exactly as I had planned too, the doctor, indeed, defended his UNIVSERAL CHAMPIONSHIP."

"Guess what, Peter? There's another notch that I'm after for my belt and that is the XWF Tag Team Titles."

The flame poofs out and creates another image beside Peter. It's his tag team partner Michael McBride and he's holding both of the tag title belts. Peter's eyes stretch wide like he's just seen the biggest dick he's ever seen and hugs McBride like a queer. The people around the conference room chuckle a bit at the image they see.

"Ah, yes. Peter and Brother McBride, former Tag Team Champions yourselves. Peter alone has had the titles with how many different partners? Four in four years? You lack a little bit of consistency there, don't ya, Mister Gilmour? You treat your sluts like that, too? When someone sweeter and sexier come along you drop your current partner and go with someone new? You have a thing for Irishmen, now, Pete?"

"Brother McBride, I'm surprised you've still decided to stand beside Mister Gilmour after the two of you lost the titles a short time ago. The bitching and moaning, conspiracy theories, and excuses that you had to listen through couldn't have been any less than excruciating. I suppose I DO look forward to facing the two of you the most in the finals of this tournament. I wouldn't expect any less out of the two of you, to be honest."

The images of the Purebred Killers in the flames poofs away and is replaced with a large flame of Drezdin, Legend Killer 2.0, La Familia, and Equinox. They stand with their designated partner, except for Equinox.

With another gust of flames, Barney Green appears standing completely nude with the two Tag Team Titles hanging down covering his junk with each strap. The two other teams, plus Equinox all look away in disgust and poof away like all the others, leaving Barney standing alone performing a subtle, celebratory dance. All of the people around the conference table only wish they could do the same as La Familia, Drezdin, and so on... And disappear, but all they could do was turn their heads. One even vomited, being unable to erase the mental image of a naked hardcore phenom from his mind. The doctor laughs as he finds his seat again.

"Drezdin and Legend Killer, La Familia.... Barney Green and Equinox.... I would hope that the two of you, former champion clad and all, would survive those two matches to meet your demise at the hands of Soldier and the GOOD DOCTOR. Drezdin and Legend Killer 2.0 have done nothing but make fools of themselves in this FINE federation since they've first entered and XWF arena. Barney Green humiliates himself on a daily bases, and is barely a shell of what he used to be. A man that has been here since SIN, a man that has more opportunities than anyone but Peter Gilmour, Barney Green, ANOTHER hardcore legend, is backed into a corner."

"Tell me, Barney Green, what WOULD you even do if you reached the finals of this tournament? If your weak, beaten, battered body manages to make it through a single match, could you manage another? Followed by another?! I could only begin to wish for you, my friend. Say you did, do you actually believe you stand a chance at the two most dominant forces in the XWF? Do you believe your partner Equinox will change ANYTHING about the outcome?"

"It's not that the doctor feels sympathy for your misfortunes, my friend, and he couldn't possible empathize..."

"I do, however, feel your pain, sir. I understand what it could be like to be constantly knocked down the ladder over and over again. Barely gaining any ground, barely able to even catch your breathe before being KICKED DOWN AGAIN. I know because I am the one at the top doing the kicking. I was the one in control of the UNIVERSE. It may not have been direct kicks to you Mister Green, but if anyone at the top has held anyone back, it was me. Whether fear played a part, or just plain common sense, not a single person in this place wants a piece of the doctor and not a SINGLE TEAM IN THIS TOURNAMENT WANTS A PIECE OF TEAM DOCTOR SATAN!"

The two belts on the Barney Green hologram burn up leaving him completely exposed before he poofed away as well.

"Ghost Tank, are you the reason that my partner's mind is so polluted with that ridiculous Clostridium difficile infection?"

Just as the flames begin to stir again, the double doors to the conference room blast open to the side of the most hardcore death metal riff ever heard. If the explosion didn't mangle anyone sitting around the table, the Cockasawkee blasting through and spinning tower throughout the room did. The peniscycle stops on top of the wreckage to a cloud of smoke and the rider steps off.

"Did someone say, C.diff?"

The doctor, unscathed from the blast or the cockbike, remains in his chair at the head of the table.

"Well, I would say, it's about time that you've showed up, my friend."

"Sidetracked, Doc."

"Where's Trevor? I made it pretty clear to bring him along, did I not?"

"Yeah. It was pretty obvious. What's the big deal? He said he didn't have the diff."

Unknown Soldier walks around the room and begins checking out all of the mangled bodies that once sat around the table.

"Why the fuck you got this fire going? You cold?"

Soldier continues to speak in the background as the doctor drifts away towards the opposite side of the room towards his drink cart.

"You see this? Unknown Soldier has not only approached me to accompany him on his journey to tag team gold, but for answers, as well."

Doc stirs together a drink and carries it away while reaching for a cigar.

"Answers to questions that are destroying him."

Soldier shouts across the room as the doc laughs aloud and exits stage right out of a large red door that appeared in the corner of the room. It led straight into his office where his large desk sits on the far side of the room. With his lit cigar and small concoction, he makes himself comfortable behind it.

"Mister Cleanser. Ghost Tank......"

"We all know your logic behind you attempting to pin me for the X-Treme Championship all that time ago. We understand it. We comprehend it."

"You served me, as you said. You were my Cleanser, my Phoenix... You placed yourself in danger before anyone else in my precious Asylum. You were, indeed, my little monster."

"My mindless drone that went rogue."

"Do you understand that even THINKING about pinning the doc was blasphemy? Apparently, even after all of this time, you still don't. It looks like you're still the same Ghosty, too. You make excuses and have a back story for just about everything I have to say about you."

"I AM happy for you and your Hart Title reign, my friend. Like I've said, it's the perfect title for you. That low range, mid card title is perfect for you to defend every other month or so. No wonder you've held it as long as you have. Especially when Mister Frodo, or whoever does it for you, places you in non-titled match ups for no reason. Like LAST Wednesday when you lost to Felix Braddock."

"You forget, Ghost Tank, you DO NOT have to defend yourself or get silly with the good doctor. He knows the truth, you know that. I've seen you at your greatest and I've most certainly seen you at your very worst. It wasn't much of a climb, but it's been a hell of a ride, hasn't it?"

The doctor chuckles to himself a bit as he takes a sip from his drink.

"I would have placed money on your anticipation to get your hands on me, GT. I could only imagine the dreams you have of stomping Doctor Louis D'Ville into the ground. Having the ability to even stand toe-to-toe with me is a dream on it's on. If you think that just because I've been off on vacation for..... what? Six months? A year? Two years? It doesn't matter what it is, that my ability has changed enough that YOU, of all idiots, would stand a chance? Come on. Really?"

"You're not the first person to mention RELEVANCE when speaking about the GOOD DOCTOR, either, GT. It doesn't seem like I'm any less relevant than I was the last day I was here, do you? Do YOU take me any less serious than you did when I was UNIVERSAL Champion? I'm sure you've prepared yourself to the bone to face us this week, because you know it's going to happen. Our two teams will sweep past the first round with ease and meet in the second round, just as you wish, then you'll finally have your chance, my friend. Your chance to realize that you have NO business competing with this level. I'm glad you've became so fond of your Hart Title, GT, because it's right where you need to be. Every noobie, every rookie, and everyone else that can barely even make it to the ladder, you'll be there. Besides, representing something dead just suits you, anyway."

"Have you seen your partner? He seems like a nice fella... A marine, too?! Splendid! At least the two of you have SOMETHING in common, am I right? You've both been brainwashed."

"Mister War Pig, don't let the 'shit' we talk on your partner Ghost Tank splatter onto you, my friend. I've already spent a little bit of time apologizing for your misfortunes, and well, I just can't go on about it."

"The reason you've hardly been mentioned is because you don't belong here. Most of the fellows in this stupid little tournament don't belong, either."

"Do you know who I am, Mister War Pig? Do you know where you are? My name is Doctor Louis D'Ville and you are in the XWF, my friend. I am here for what is mine. I get what is mine, everytime."

"Now, this is the XWF. You aware of your surroundings and everything? I could give you a tour in case you've missed anything? No?"

"That's right, the XWF, Mister War Pig. There is no amount of sparring, lifting weights, working out, running, climbing, chopping wood, push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups that you could do to prepare you for what's coming. Size and muscle or simply a cosmetic trait here, my friend. You see, no matter your mass or thought fighting ability, this tournament has already been won. Have you noticed how your co-pilot has taken perfect shape by your side? Ghost Tank KNOWS that the outcome of Warfare does NOT include him holding up those straps. So, he's just along for the ride. You'll do the work, Mister Pig, and Ghost Tank will claim as much glory as he possibly can whether it's the first or second round that you two fail. If the two of you survive Jerkbeast and his bus driver, I look forward to it as much as Ghost Tank dreams a chance to defeat the Doctor."

"This all doesn't happen without sweeping past the first round, am I right? Shane

's Blackest Hole."

"So, how did you fellows get wrapped up with Shane

, anyway? I remember something similar right around the time that Vinnie Lane claimed the UNIVERSAL Title, FROM me... Ha, ha. You're welcome, Mister Lane, but yes! I do remember something similar going on around that time."

"Tell me, Mister

, do you just get BORED from time to time that you have to rustle up a group of assholes to follow you around and cause trouble? That's exactly who they are too. John Black alone, Mister

. Where do you find these people?"

"He spoke a few days ago, does he even know what he's going for here? I understand Soldier and yourself have a slight history going o here, Mister Black. Do you forget that I'm here as well? I know you've come and gone more times than Peter Gilmour refers to his privates, but surely you remember the good doctor. Not sure about YOUR co-pilot, however. I'm not sure if Lord Reever is even familiar with himself anymore. You two revived a few dead straps and now what?"

"You've put yourselves in a very, very dangerous situation."

"DOC!"

Unknown Soldier appears through the doorway.

"You're still here??"

"Well, yeah, where was I going?"

"Soldier, it's very important that we take Trevor with us on our little journey here. You have to go back and get him."

"Are you fucking serious? How the fuck should I know where he is now?! And besides, what does HE matter? How is he going to lead to answers about why I can't get C.diff?!"

"Listen, you MUST trust me. Take your....... ... .. ."

"Cockasawkee."

Doc pauses.

"Whatever it is. Take it outside and head towards the direction you lost him. I'll follow."

Soldier obliges and exits the room. In a few short moments, glass shatters and the cockcycle flies out the window and sails across the sky towards the ground. The doctor witnesses Unknown Soldier land and zoom away at 666 mph!

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