The show opens to the sight of the fans booing as Frodo Smackins, Gladiator and Thomas Girard all are standing in the ring.
Wow, what a great start to the show is surely what everyone in attendance is thinking.
The three of them have been in the ring for the last half hour just going back and forth on all kinds of important subjects such as rape matches, which titles should be 24/7, and whether or not to hire Rey Mysterio to spearhead a new cruiserweight division.
The fans start to rise and go crazy for their hero, Shane . The reason for this is before the show, out in the lot, Shane was handing out hundred dollar bills and telling people if they cheer loud enough for him he'll come back out after the show to give away even more money.
A chant breaks out as Shane has the biggest smile we've seen on his face in many years. The last time Shane smiled like this, he was participating in some sort of goat sacrificing ceremony in the middle of the ring with the likes of Greggo and The Hired Gun!
: I need the three of you to listen up! I've got some FANTASTIC news!
Shane has some pep in his step as he rushes the rest of the way to the ring and slides in, still looking happier than a pig in shit.
: Alright then... So, Frodo! Gladiator! Thomas! I've done it!
Frodo: Done what? Got Ophelia to kill himself? Got Lome to squirt all the cum out of his ass so he can make room for Gilmour tonight?
: HA! It's funny you'd bring him up but no, nothing like that. It's even better!
Remember how you cast of DUMB SHITS almost cost me and the XWF our deal with the Universal Championship being recognized by the IWGP?
Gladiator: We did? That's news to me.
: Yes! You did! And I am so tired of hearing you sound like Sean Connery in this ring!
Oddly enough Shane is still smiling through all of this.
Frodo: So what did you have to do to fix everything? Promise them we'll strip our current reigning Universal Champ ASAP? Here let me do the honors.
: That won't be necessary, Frodo, but thank you. As for what I had to do to "FIX everything" well that's going to be a hard potato for some people to swallow...
See...
In order to guarantee some very pissed off Japanese people that they should continue to invest in the XWF and its championships, I had to promise them that the running circus featuring you three would come to an end.
Thomas Girard? May I have your attention please?
Thomas looks a bit nervous as he stands before Shane...
Shane is glowing with joy, a massive smile on his face as he shouts right in Thomas' face. Security rushes into the ring and tackles Thomas hard, cuffing his hands behind his back and dragging him out of the ring as the fans go crazy for it!
: Now that THAT'S done with.
Hey, Gladiator?
The fans instantly quiet down as Shane walks right up to Gladiator and looks him in the eyes.
: We both know you have no place on this show and you barely have given me a reason to keep you around to run the 24/7 divisions. Poor Jerkbeast is getting tired from how long you've let some of his challengers keep attacking him before calling it!
Some of the fans laugh because it's so true.
: I have a great idea for how to help you do your job better!
How about...
You're BANNED from Warfare! Nothing about your job requires you to be on here! (in Stephanie McMahon voice) Get out of my ring!
The fans roar as security enters the ring and tackles Gladiator who starts fighting them off but they taze him! They cuff him and drag him out there with Thomas Girard.
: And now...
For you...
Frodo Smackins.
The fans let out a low "Oh..." and get quiet as Frodo stands before the great Potato Lover himself.
Shane smirks...
He looks out to the fans and milks it. He milks it like he's milking the shit out of a cow to get some fresh ass raw milk. So delicious.
: Well?
WELL?
What do you guys think I should do with Frodo?
Shane twirls the mic by its cord as he listens... There's a huge crowd reaction but so mixed that nothing stands out from the rest. Some of them screaming rape him... some of them screaming fire him... some of them screaming we love and waving the hundred dollar bill Shane gave them high in the air.
Shane smiles hugely again and his eyes light up with excitement as he casts the mic back up toward his wet lips.
: Do you know what part of my deal with the Japs was, Frodo? Something I never thought I'd do...
Something even I never saw coming...
There's one more person I have to remove from his current position of power, Frodo...
And would you like to take a guess just who that guy is?
Shane has a curious look on his face as Frodo doesn't seem sure what to say.
The fans are waiting for it...
The world is waiting for it...
: Well that person's name... is...
...
...
SHANE !
...WHAT??? The fans' jaws all drop as the arena goes dead silent.
: That's right. I had to relinquish MY spot as the owner of this company, Frodo. It's bittersweet, because on one hand none of this is MY problem anymore and I still get to be employed by the company! But on the other hand? I'll miss some of the perks as owner. I had no choice, though...
To keep them happy and keep our deal going, I had to step down from ownership because to be honest, we wouldn't have survived without their investment after the way I spent at the casinos during our off season. But none of that matters now as I'M PAID! I'M PAID! And I still got a job! HA!
What's my new position in the company? Heh... MANAGER, of course. Not a general manager, no... I'm talking about a manager of talent. A manager of CHAMPIONS!
The grin on Shane's face takes a more devious appearance as he looks at the camera.
: Who, though? Who will I take under my wing and lead to absolute supremacy?
Will it be YOU?
Shane's wink at the camera is so sadistic it almost shatters the lens.
Shane turns back to Frodo.
: Oh but don't worry, Frodo. With all these firings, bannings and position switches, YOU still get to keep YOUR General Manager position as is!
The booing rains down as Shane holds his hand up to quiet them.
: But guess who you're working for NOW????
The fans go dead silent again, looking around and toward the entrance for any signs of who the new XWF owner might be...
Girard and Gladiator are still slowly being led up the ramp in cuffs as Shane gestures to the entranceway for Frodo to meet the NEW owner...
And then…
...
I WANNA ROCK!!!!
WHAT!!!!!!????? The crowd erupts in raucous cheers as the X-Tron comes to life with the video package and music of Universal Champion, “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane.
There's no way.
Purple and pink strobes dance across the faces of every audience member in attendance as the familiar wail of Twisted Sister booms from the PA, and the crowd loses it once again when Loverboy emerges from behind the curtain, decked out in an expensive Italian suit… along with his familiar hot pink headband and massive title belt, as usual.
This CAN'T be what we're thinking it is...
Loverboy smiles at Girard and Gladiator as security walks them right past him on their way to the back, both of their jaws dropped. Loverboy gives them both a wink and a wave as they vanish behind the curtain.
Frodo looks like he’s seen a ghost as Shane grins from ear to ear, dancing poorly along with the music! The crowd continues to lose its mind chanting both for Shane and for Loverboy at the same time.
With a dazzling toothy grin, Loverboy pulls a mic out from behind him while standing out on the stage, watching the two men in the ring avidly.
“Hey there, dudes! Surprised to see me?”
Loverboy holds the mic out in an outstretched arm to the boisterous crowd, pumping them up even further. By this point Frodo has just started frowning and leaning against a corner, whereas Shane is still dancing, even though the music has stopped.
“You know… I thought this was a crazy idea too, man. I thought it was nuts. Me? Vinnie Lane? Own the damn company? That’s insane, right? Like… what do I know about running a wrestling company?”
Loverboy pauses while the crowd starts up a “This is awesome” chant, smiling and nodding along with the audience as they clap and shout in unison.
“It really is awesome, dude!”
The crowd goes nuts again at the sound of being acknowledged. Loverboy keeps smiling and nodding, even clapping along with the chant for a moment before holding out a hand to try and get things under control.
“We’ve got a long show in front of us, man, let’s get through this as quickly as we can. Like I said… I thought it was nuts to consider someone like me to run the XWF… but then I thought about it. And you know what? Why the fuck not, dude?”
More cheers, and another calming hand from the megastar.
“Who knows more about what the fans of the XWF want than “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane? Who knows more about how to get it done night in and night out than the Universal Champion? Nobody. Sure as hell not some tightwad like Girard or a delusional wannabe centurion like Gladiator, that’s for sure, dude.”
The crowd boos just at the mention of the fallen GMs.
“No… no way, dude. This company has been on life support for way too long! It’s no secret that your resident megastar is the one who’s been keeping the ratings up and selling all the tickets. Not all the bickering and divisiveness among the members of the administrative staff. Not rape matches. Not an unhappy roster being bossed around by little megalomaniacs with low testosterone… hey Frodo, you listening?”
Frodo sneers in the ring, staring a hole through Loverboy, who just takes a few sauntering steps forward down the ramp.
“A few weeks back, this place was in serious trouble. The IWGP was even talking about pulling out of their partnership with us. That’s no Bueno, dude. That was a real wake-up call. They knew that working with yours truly was a winning play… after all, I’ve been representing their company as its champion for quite a while now… over in Japan, they see me as a stabilizing force, something to keep this place from going off the rails. Something needed to change… and we’ve definitely got some changes coming this way. This is a historic night for the XWF. We are doing things behind the scenes that is going to GUARANTEE this is the place to be and the place to see for a long, long time! Now… how about we kick this incredibly awesome night off right? You guys want to hear a bombshell from a bombshell?”
The crowd roars its approval, and Loverboy turns back toward the entrance. Suddenly, the lights take on a deep purple hue and the rhythmic voice of Lady Gaga singing the chorus to “Paparazzi” plays over the sound system. Then, the curvaceous form of Roxy Cotton, dressed to the nines in a form fitting purple business suit with matching six inch stilettos steps out from the back wearing a pair of cat-eye framed glasses and carrying a metal clipboard.
The crowd loses it as she struts her stuff across the entrance ramp and then walks over to Loverboy, who hands her the mic.
“Ladies and gentlemen… as Vinnie Lane’s personal executive assistant and head of office relations, it is my proud honor to announce to you… the return of individually rostered and specialized shows on XWF programming!”
Another huge pop from the crowd drowns out the lovely blonde as she tries to continue. Loverboy has to hold up both hands, mouthing ‘there’s more,’ to get the excited audience under control.
“We will now go back to having TWO official programs, Wednesday Warfare and Savage Saturday Night! AND the XWF is opening the doors back up for guest GMs to host their own special opt-in only events. All with their own tailored rules and experiences, to more fully reach the broadest audience possible. As soon as the clock strikes midnight tonight, nobody will be assigned to any roster and a list of details pertaining to each official show will be made public so that everyone can take the time to decide which show sounds like the best fit for them, and fans will also be able to send in their suggestions for where they want to see their favorite XWF performers. The Loverboy Era of XWF is all about pleasing YOU – the fans!”
She waits a few seconds to let the cheers settle enough for her to address the next point.
“The same fans who spoke up and let us know exactly who they think the XWF March Star of the Month should be! So without further ado I want to congratulate...
“XWF March Star of the Month...”
“TRAVIS MCCOY!”
Roxy smiles and the crowd goes wild once again. A picture of Travis McCoy appears on the X-Tron as the fans break out with a "he deserves it" chant!
Loverboy and Roxy let the fans show their appreciation for the SOTM, applauding right along with them until Loverboy gives her a kiss and takes the mic back from her, sending her on her way to the backstage area once again. Roxy waves goodbye to the appreciative crowd as she heads to the back. The X-Tron goes dark again as Loverboy speaks.
“Isn’t she great?”
Loverboy walks down the ramp as he talks, smiling and showing off his Universal Title the whole way.
“Now, Shane… Shane and me, we go way back now, dude. We didn’t always used to be on the same page, either. But we both want what’s best for the XWF and what’s best for the XWF fans, and that’s what’s brought us together to make this incredible deal here tonight. There are going to be a lot of things to introduce to you over the next few weeks… so make sure you stay tuned online and on the XWF Network! Now… one more quick thing before we go on with the show.”
Loverboy hops on the apron of the ring, staying outside of the ropes and turning his back to Shane and Frodo.
“Check this little interaction out that Frodo and I had a week or two back, down in the Federweight Hallway.”
Loverboy points up to the X-Tron, which lights up with Frodo’s face.
(03-28-2016, 12:37 PM)Frodo mother fucking Smackins Said: "Your title is in my domain. You have zero control over it. If Girard gives control to his champion, that's on Girard. You want control of your title, don't hold one in my domain."
The crowd reacts with murmurs and boos. Then the cheers return as Loverboy smiles and turns around to face the hobbit.
“Looks like some things have changed, huh Frodes? But hey… I respect you a little bit. At least enough to not immediately swipe that ill-gotten title off of your waist. You’ve got yourself a pretty big match tonight dude… and if you manage to hold on to that X-Treme Title? Then I’ve got an announcement JUST for you… NEXT week.”
“Screw you, Lome. You’re still a bitch nigga. You’re going to lose your title to Gilmour tonight.”
The crowd almost smothers Frodo with its boos, but Loverboy waves them off, grinning from ear to ear,
“Lose? Dude… I own the company. I already won. Good luck tonight, midge.”
Then Loverboy blows a huge pink bubble of gum, letting it grow until it pops on his face before sucking it back into his mouth and snapping it incessantly. He hops down from the apron and tosses the mic into the air while his music flares up again and the crowd goes nuts while he heads to the back, chanting "Thank you Vin-nie! Thank you Vin-nie!"
Zan "The Port City Powerhouse" Xander
- vs -
Alice Standard Match
Barney Green
- vs -
Shade Ref's Rules
Guest Ref: Caius
Maverick
- vs -
JerkBeast 3 RP limit
Loser loses their dick
John Black
- vs -
LeStrange
- vs -
Kid Kool Hell Freezes Over Match
Bulletproof Glass box with a steadily dropping temperature and a mist of freezing water and liquid nitrogen
Liddle J
- vs -
Makaveli
- vs -
15 Shows Triple Threat, 1 Fall Championship Qualifier: The winner will receive a future title shot at ANY TITLE they choose! (except the Universal)
Ghost Tank
- vs -
Mike Emerick No Escape from Hell.
As described by GT: " My opponent and I are shipped to an island, where on the island is a casket, and inside it are three buckets of thermite and shovels. To win, it's like a casket match and buried alive match. Your opponent must be put in the casket, after you've dug a hole deep and wide enough hole to put the casket in. Before you drop the casket in the hole and after you lock it, kick it in, push it in in, whatever way you want. Once the casket is in the hole, dump the thermite all over the hole and casket, then lead a trail and then light the trail on fire. How do you light it on fire? A fucking flamethrower. The thermite reaches the casket, lights it on fire and eats through the casket." Championship Qualifier: The winner will receive a future title shot at ANY TITLE they choose! (except the Universal)
Tag Team Championships Austin Fernando
& Luca Arzegotti
- vs -
Fontanna
& Surprise Partner
- vs -
Travis McCoy
& Surprise Partner
- vs -
Marvelous Keith
& Prince Richie
- vs -
Chris Macbeth
& Scully w/ Tush at ringside Tag Team Clusterfuck
No memes, no Acronyms, no mention of any cartoon/anime/animatedshit whatsoever. You will seriously lose in you do. Elimination match!
X-treme Championship Frodo Mother fucking Smackins
- vs -
THE WORLD!
ALL challengers welcome! All you need to do is start RPing for this match, and make sure you label your RP titles so we don't miss them! X-treme Adult Swim Match
Everybody starts off at the same time. Match takes place in an abandoned swimming pool, with knee deep shit in it. First one out of the pool wins the whole thing!
Intercontinental Championship Tush
- vs -
Trax 3 RP Limit
Trax picks the stipulations in his first RP
MAIN EVENT Universal Championship
- vs - Peter Fucking Gilmour 2 out of 3 Falls Match
Peter picks round one stips
Lane picks round two stips
Round three, if needed, is a buried alive in shit match!
We're all set for our first match, scheduled to be the debut of Zan "The Port City Powerhouse" Xander against somebody named... Alice.
Zan is here, but where is this Alice we've been promised?
Zan grabs the microphone from ringside and says…
“Avast ye, avast ye, I 'ave travelled from great lengths t' be here tonight t' wha' th' XWF considers "quality" opposition. T' me dismay, they put me up against some second tier British-wench who doesn't even bother t' come out from th' locker cabin. Turns out me ole pal Sleepy here caught a whiff o' wha' he thought was fish earlier, 'n upon investigatin' it, I discovered yer gym bag. So, without any further t'-do, I be on me way back thar, wench!”
Zan puts his walking stick and out of ring attire atop the turnbuckle and slides under the ring and races towards the locker room. On his way, he grabs a camera man.
“I know where you keep your jewels, Alice….’ere’s no hidin’ from Zan Xavier Xander!”
Zan scours the dressing room in search of Alice’s green room and runs into some make up assistants and backstage help. A boom mic controller bumps him a bit too hard for his liking….
Crack - Oh my, he’s got that AV guy up by the neck, what’s this? No? Powerbomb!
“Out of me way, she’s got what I came here for. Stepping stone or no stepping stone!"
Katie - That’s from way down in the Port City! Wait, is that, Alice?
Crack - No doubt, that’s her dressing room! What’s this?
“Ya can’t hide from me for fureva, buttercup…yer in here ain’t ye?"
The camera feed begins to break up as a bright flash jolts through the room causing a white out. Suddenly, the room goes completely black, and there’s a loud commotion. It is unclear if Alice is in the dressing room or not, there’s now complete silence for an awkward few seconds…
Katie - Ladies and gentlemen, we don’t know what’s happened, the picture up on the screen is completely black, we don’t know what’s happened to Zan, Alice, Sleepy the parrot is still at ringside, this isn’t the debut we had hoped for.
Crack - Folks, we’re staying with this live, all we can tell you is…wait, the picture is clearing up…can we get some camera guys back there? What is going on here! Is this amateur hour? There it is! We can see!
Katie - What are we looking at again?
The image clears up on a completely laid out Zan Xavier Xander, flat on his back, apparently out cold. The room is completely demolished.
Crack - Can we get some help back there? What happened? Wow, this really isn’t the debut we had in mind for Zan…
Katie - Ladies and gentlemen we don’t know who’s behind this attack, we didn’t see Alice, control room is telling us she hasn’t been seen all week, we can’t confirm nor deny that was her who just viciously attacked Zan on his debut here on Warfare….medics are on their way back there to get him up…
Crack - What are we going to do about this bird? No, seriously…haven’t you ever seen that horror flick?
The image fades to black on the big screen and Katie goes over and gets Sleepy the parrot, from the turnbuckle of the ring…
Barney Green
- vs -
Shade Ref's Rules
Guest Ref: Caius
Caius calls for the bell, and Shade is about to charge at Barney, but Caius walks over to step in between them. He winks at Shade before snapping his fingers. A Colt Delta appears in his hand, and a wicked grin comes cross his face. Barney looks concerned as Shade pulls the slide back, and cocks it. Caius steps aside, and Shade aims it right at Barney Green, who starts walking over to Shade. The trigger is squeezed.
The gun makes a loud pop, and nothing happens. Not even a puff of smoke.
Crack: Damn, my nigga didn't even get a real gun.
Barney grabs the pistol and begins to whip Shade in the face with it. The fans begin to laugh as Barney's barrage continues. Until Shade throws a quick jab to the stomach of Barney Green. Green backs away, as Shade begins a series of attempted shin kicks. They fail to connect, but Shade goes on the offensive, and quickly spins to drop a quick roundhouse kick right to Barney's temple. Barney shakes it off, and raises the pistol for another whip, but before he can drop the weapon, Shade has vanished, and popped behind him just in time to slam another kick into Barney's back. Barney stumbles forward, just for Shade to be right in front of Barney and slam a knee right into Barney's torso. Barney is doubled over, and Shade drops an elbow right on the spine of Green, causing Barney to gasp. Cauis laughs and snaps his fingers, and brass knuckles appear on Barney's hand, which he uses to throw a fist directly in Shade's knee cap. The left one.
Shade stumbles back, and Green pops up to his feet. He catches Shade across the jaw with hook, and then another one quickly to the gut. Shade is now doubled over, and Barney drops a massive elbow on the man. Shade goes down, and Green begins to stomp on his spine. Caius laughs and claps as this is going on. The crowd is absolutely losing it over this. There are cheers for the Green name being used for good, and people are even throwing things into the ring for Barney to use to stomp ass. He walks over, and grabs something that a fan tossed in. He picks it up and looks at it.
Katie: That's a Calculus text book. Who brings a text book to a wrestling match?
Crack: A nerd who fucks dogs, Katie. A nerd who fucks dogs.
Barney runs over with the book, and readies it above his head. He's about to slam it down on Shade, when Shade spins around, still on all fours, and kicks Barney in the nards. Green goes down faster than a 5 cent whore on a quarter. Shade is up, and raises his hands in the air. Another snap of Caius' fingers, and a trident appears Shade's hands. He brings it down, and stabs Green in the leg with it. Green howls, and Shade releases his grip on the trident before going for a pin.
1
2
...THREE!!!
Katie: Your winner is Shade!
Maverick
- vs -
JerkBeast 3 RP limit
Loser loses their dick
Jerkbeast is in the ring staring Maverick down. Maverick starts to run away, but Jerkbeast is too quick. He catches Maverick with an uppercut right to the back of the head, forcing Maverick to stumble and hit the ropes. Jerkbeast seizes the opportunity and Superkicks Maverick directly in the spine. Maverick goes limp, and Jerkbeast jumps, and lands a knee directly on Maverick's balls. As Maverick holds them and howls, Beast picks him up, and delivers a Beast Master that ends with Maverick being slammed into the corner, allowed Beast to run back, and charge for a high knee to the face. Maverick is busted open, and bleeding. Beast pulls him out of the corner, and delivers the deadliest of all Sweet Benny Bombs. He goes for the pin.
1
2
THREE!!!
Crack: Your winner, and the only man in the competition to keep his dick, Jerkbeast.
Aeon's God Gives Head in Heaven blasts through the arena as Jerkbeast is ripping off Maverick's shorts. Morbid Angel walks into the ring while the audience loses their shit. He grabs Jerkbeast, and hits him with a Gott ist Tott which lays him out.
Did you think you could take a dick without my approval? NO! I take the dicks around here.
Morbid picks Jerkbeast up again, and throws him into the corner. The Dick Collector looks at Maverick's body laid out in the ring, sees that he's not wearing shorts, or underwear, and that he left a brown stain on the mat, and hold his nose before going in for the kill. With a quick motion, Morbid pulls a massive bowie knife out of his pocket, and slashes Maverick's dick clean off his body!!!!! For good measure, Morbid kicks Maverick in the balls before walking off.
JerkBeast gets up, and is angry. He wanted the dick necklace, but the sounds of Darth Vader's theme song, the Trap Mix comes through the PA. Everyone pauses to see what Warfare GM and general bad ass Frodo Big Dick Managa Smackins is gonna do.
Katie: Hi, Daddy!
He arrives in the ring, holding a box cutter.
"Hi, sweetie. Hey, bro. Listen up, guys. Maverick not only lost his dick, but he failed to put up a single promo for the match, which means, he's going to lose more than his dick."
Frodo reaches down and slashes off Maverick's balls.
"Here, Beast, here's a prize for you."
Frodo tosses the balls to Jerkbeast before walking away.
John Black
- vs -
LeStrange
- vs -
Kid Kool Hell Freezes Over Match
Bulletproof Glass box with a steadily dropping temperature and a mist of freezing water and liquid nitrogen
Kid Kool and Black look at each other, and then at LeStrange. Black and Kool decide to charge at Strange, and deliver the holiest of holy ass whoopings. They slam his head into the case with a barrage of punches and kicks. Strange hits the case and starts to slump down, only for another blow to send him back up. Kick to the gut, punch to the head, elbow to the temple, knee to the crotch. Strange finally slumps down as the water begins to fill in the tank, and the temperature begins to drop. Kid Kool is in his natural environment of being Kool, and Black is smart enough to keep moving to stay warm, but Strange is just laying there as the water fills the tank. Black and Kool decide to leave him there while they begin to trade blows with each other. Kid with an axe Handle smash to the head of John Black, followed by a quick knee to Black's gut. Black goes down, but not for long. He throws a quick punch to the Kid's Kock, which pushes him back. Black pop to his feet, and using some crazy ass ninja powers jumps in the air and perfectly kicks Kool right in the jaw.
Kool stumbles back, and hits the ropes, only to be caught with another kick to the jaw from a flying John Black. He stumbles again, and nearly collapses, but Black is back on him with a massive knee to the gut sending him back up. As Black is preparing for another assault of attacks, he gets backhanded with a powerful fist. It send Black's head turning, and gives Kool a chance to shove him back before destroying him with a Superman punch. Black goes down, just in time for Strange to try and stand up. He lumbers towards Kid Kool, but is caught with a standing drop kick that sends him down to the icy waters on top of Black. The ref, in his fully insulated scuba suit, comes out to count it as a pin,
Nope. Black kicks Strange off of him before anyone can even count to one. Black's kick sends Strange flying to be caught by Kool's outstretched arm. He goes down and hits the water with a splash, or spalsh if you're Luca. The spalsh hits Kid Kool directly on the nipples, and he instantly throws his arms up around his nips to warm them up. This gives Black an opportunity to swing into action. Black pops up behind Kool, and ninja kicks him in the back of the had. When Kid starts to get his balance back, Black is right there in front of him to deliver a Brainbuster that sends Kool down into the frozen water. Kool's head doesn't even hit the water, but he still nearly goes out cold as the shift in temperature difference fucks with his equilibrium. But, before he can go out he sees LeStrange floating, and somehow that inspires him to get back on his feet, and power through the cold. The water is now at waist level.
Black and Kool both shiver like wet dogs as they begin to slug it out in the middle of the ring. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Left. Right. Boom! Kool Kutter drops Black ontop of Le Strange's body. He kicks them both and debates going for a pin, but waits to see if Black moves. When Black stirs, Kid grabs him, and drops him with another Kool Kutter on top of Strange. He then shoves Black face down into the water, and pins Strange.
1
2
THREE!
Crack: Your winner is Kid Kool.
Katie: And, man is he Kool. I wanna warm him up bad.
Katie grabs a warm towel, and runs to the tank to help pull Kid Kool out. She wraps him in a towel and helps to lead him back to her chair where she has a warm glass of Hot Cocoa waiting for him.
Liddle J
- vs -
Makaveli
- vs -
15 Shows Triple Threat, 1 Fall Championship Qualifier: The winner will receive a future title shot at ANY TITLE they choose! (except the Universal)
Makaveli and 15 Shows are already in the ring, as energetic LiddleJ comes running to the top of the stage with California love blasting over the speakers. Trying to get the fans going to the entrance of his self to the fans. He dressed in his black wrestling boots and short skin tight MMA type shorts on with a LiddleJ hoody and makes his way to the ring and short run and slide up the bottom rope with some casual warm up exercises getting ready for his opponent to enter the stage.
Before we see the men go at it, we see someone running inside the ring in a hoodie and shorts trying to thwart the attention away from the guys. Then we see JB punching Liddle J, Makaveil, 15 Show in the face. JB then taunts to the audience.
Crack: What's John doing here?
Katie: I don't know, he just had a match not long ago.
Crack: Well he's needs to leave the ring immediately!
Katie:...well he--
JB then tosses out Liddle J and we see him helping Makaveli to his feet. Then we see the unlikey duo double stomping on 15 Show, and JB lifts 15 Show to his feet and Irish Whips to the ropes and we see a double Suplex. Then the fans are in mass hysteria as JB extends his hand to Makaveli.
Katie: Don't do it Makaveli, you don't know what he's capable of!
Crack: He's a rookie who might as well accept his offering, you know I would.
Katie: Well you might be right, but still I wouldn't trust John with even my eyes closed in a sunna.
JB waited for ten minutes to no sign of a handshake, the JB punches him in the face. While Makaveli was staggering around the ring, we see JB hitting the Death Valley Driver on him and we see him dragging the lifeless body of 15 Shows on top of Makaveli for the pin. Once that was completed, we see him leave the ring with boos.
With all three men in the ring, the bell sounds, and we're off and running! Liddle J, Makaveli, and 15 Shows circle eachother, looking for their spot. Liddle J rushes in and delievers a knee to 15, which doubles him over. J whips 15 into the ropes... Mak's on the apron and pulls the top rope down, causing 15 to tumble to the outside, instantly shattering into exactly 15 pieces. The EMTs come down with brooms and trash buckets, picking up the poor dead dude. Now it's only Mak and Liddle J!
Makaveli returns to the ring, and J and he begin to trae rights and lefts.
Mak: I'll trade you this left-handed Sammy Sosa card for your right-handed Mark McGuire!
J: Deal! And I'll trade your right-handed Ken Griffey Jr. for your left-handed Pete Rose!
Mak: Sure, if you can have Kane from WWE come down here!
J: ...Why?
Mak: Cuz WretleMania 16, bitch.
J: What happened?
Mak: Pete Rose was all makin' fun of Anaheim and he was like 'HOW BOUT IT?!" and then Kane came down and beat that ass like the bitch owed him money. Which he probably did.
J: What did he do to Pete Ro--
CHOKESLAM FROM HELL!!!!
Pin cover... WAIT A MINUTE, 15 Shows just jumped the barricade! He must have had all the king's horses and all the king's men put him back together again! And he's brandishing a kendo stick! Shows slides into the ring and is reprimanded by the ref. With the ref distracted, J nails Mak with a lowblow! Mak drops, and 15 tosses the kendo stick to J, before bringing the ref crashing down with a spinning STO! J begins breaking the stick over and over again across the back and torso of Mak who's turning around on the canvas trying to evade the kendo stick.
Shows picks up Makaveli befre hitting a crisp belly to belly suplex, folding Mak up like an accordion. J comes over and both men start laying in the boots to Mak. J picks him back up and restrains him by the arms, before 15 starts whacking Mak with the kendo, and then J shoves Mak toward 15 who plants him with a kendo stick assisted forward falling russian leg sweep. 15 stands up... before whipping around and leveling J with a superkick! 15 Shows then drops down to the mat and rolls underneath the bottom rope and out of the ring, riding off into the sunset.
Meanwhile, both men in the ring are slowly getting to their feet. J bounces off the ropes and lands a quick kick to the gut of the slowly rising Makaveli. Mak rolls over on his back, and J heads up top. Mak slowly rises, and is caught off guard by a leaping cross-body... but Mak rolls through, holdng J in his arms horizontally. Mak then hoists J upon his shoulders, before swinging him around into a diamond cutter position--TKO!!! J's jaw drops down hard on Mak's shoulder, knocking him out.
Crack: Your winner is Makaveli! I wonder which title he's going to go after?
Suddenly out from the back comes SHANE to a generous reaction from the crowd! Shane gives Makaveli a big thumbs up from atop the ramp and pulls a mic from his jacket pocket.
: Great job, Makaveli. You're going to get a title shot now and guess what? Did you hear the news?
That's right! I'm going to be a manager now...
Of CHAMPIONS.
Shane delivers the sadisticest of all winks, dropping the mic and heading backstage as quickly as he arrived.
Crack: Hmmmmmm... What's that potato fucker up to now? Looking to revive The BLACK Circle perhaps? I mean Mak is black.
Ghost Tank
- vs -
Mike Emerick No Escape from Hell. Championship Qualifier: The winner will receive a future title shot at ANY TITLE they choose! (except the Universal)
Ghost Tank and Mike Emerick are dropped off on an island in the middle of nowhere, and begin to survey their surroundings. Mike sees a forest of palm trees, and runs towards it. Tank, however, picks a coconut up off the ground, examines it, tosses it in the air once or twice, and then throws it right at Mike's head. It connects, and sends him down to the ground in a lump. Ghost Tank walks over casually, before picking the man up, and slamming him repeatedly into a tree. Once. Twice. Tree times (see what I did there?) Four times. NO! FIVE TIMES!! Mike hits the trunk five times before Tank drops him like a bad habit. He follows it up with a massive boot to the throat of Emerick.
Emerick is coughing and wheezing, but Tank is showing no signs of stopping he drops another boot directly on the pelvis of Emerick. Mike goes to grab his coconuts, but before he gets a chance, Tank reaches down, and breaks Emerick's mother fucking hand. Right there, no mercy, just a clean fucking break. Tank is savagely destroying the other hand now. Then he stops. He pauses, and looks around. He sees the casket, and drags Emerick over to it.
The lid is kicked open with one foot, and Emerick's limp body is tossed in. Oswald goes to work on digging a hole, all the while listening to the whimpers from inside the coffin. With the hole deep enough, he drops the box in, adds the nearby thermite, sets a charge, and walks away. When he's a sufficient distance away, he ignites it and sends Mike straight to hell.
Back in the arena Crack and Katie are cheering for Tank.
Crack: Your winner is my homie, Tank.
Suddenly out from the back comes SHANE to a generous reaction from the crowd! Shane gives Tank a big thumbs up from atop the ramp and pulls a mic from his jacket pocket.
: Great job, GT! You're going to get a title shot now and guess what? Did you hear the news?
That's right! I'm going to be a manager now...
Of CHAMPIONS.
Shane winks so sadistically the lights flicker...
Tag Team Championships Austin Fernando
& Luca Arzegotti
- vs -
Fontanna
& Surprise Partner
- vs -
Travis McCoy
& Surprise Partner
- vs -
Marvelous Keith
& Prince Richie
- vs -
Chris Macbeth
& Scully w/ Tush at ringside Tag Team Clusterfuck
No memes, no Acronyms, no mention of any cartoon/anime/animatedshit whatsoever. You will seriously lose in you do. Elimination match!
It's time for the the big tag team title match!! All eight people except Fontanna and his mystery partner have arrived. His music hits, he steps out on the stage... nobody comes out to join him. He looks worried, but continues down the ramp... he slides into the ring and IMMEDIATELY, MacBeth and Scully attack the hell out of him before driving him into the ground with a double piledriver. They lay in a few boots before picking up the three count. Keith and Richie attack the Brit Duo from behind, but from THEIR behind, Austin and Luca pull them both into simultaneous BackStabbers. The Monarchy fall to the mat and are pinned for the one, two, three, leaving FernGotti, McCoy and Mr. H, and the Union.
Tush at ringside slips in a steel chair, which Scully picks up and swings at Luca. Luca ducks under, rebounds off the ropes, and hits a front dropkick, sending Scully careening out of the ring through the ropes. Luca heads outside, while inside Austin and MacBeth take after Mr. H and McCoy. McCoy and MacBeth trade fists, sending them rolling out of the ring, and Austin/H standing in the center. H goes in for a clothesline, which Austin ducks under... H turns around and receives a boot to the face, knocking H back into a corner. Austin strikes H with a few sharp elbows and knees, some fists, some feet and a few knife edge chops. But H pokes Austin in the eyes! COMBO BREAKER!!!
Austin stumbles back a bit, holding a palm against his sore eyes... H rushes in with a knee to Austin's face, dropping him to the ring canvas with a thud. H climbs to the top rope and comes off with a huge elbow drop... but Luca pulls Austin out of the ring!!! H comes up empty, and rolls around on the mat holding his now bruised elbow. The impact leaving H reeling, FernGotti go to town on The Union on the outside. Fernando pulls Chris up to his feet and picks him up overhead before dropping him with the snake eyes over the steel fan barricade. MacBeth topples backward and falls on his ass. Fern then follows up with a stiff soccer kick to the sitting CMB, dropping him to the outside floor.
Travis is checking on the fallen Mr. H, before he's attacked from behind by Scully with an axe handle smash. Scully lands another, sending Trav lowered to one knee. Travis is about to feel the brunt of a shining wizard, when he grabs the boot and Scully falls flat on his face. Trav cinches in an ankle lock, but Tush comes in and breaks up the submission attempt. Travis and Tush get up in eachothers' faces. Travis shoves Tush, who rushes back in... before smiling, and rolling out of the ring-- CHAIRSHOT TO TRAVIS! While the ref was outside with Chris MacBeth and Austin Fernando, Scully smashed the previously unused chair ontop of 'The Real McCoy''s skull, leaving a huge dent in the steel seat.
Travis drops to a knee, and Scully loads up for another shot-- CRACK! The chair is swung, and the seat is broken off, spinning mid-air before falling outside the ring. Trav falls to the mat, as Scully goes for the pin;
1...............................
2...............................
...Thre-KICKOUT! JUST in the nick of time. Trav rolls out of the ring and lands on his feet, holding the top of his head, which has been busted open, staining his hair crimson. Trav is now being checked on by Mr. H and the ref, when Scully bounces off the opposite side of ropes, and goes for a baseball slide... but Trav and H step to either side, before Scully turns around.... RIGHT into a double superkick to his crumpet-crammin' face! Scully falls backward, his spine hitting the apron. Travis deadlifts Scully over his shoulder, before feeding him to H, who drops the Union member with a resounding spike ddt, sending a vile 'CRACK' sound reverberating throughout the arena.
Luca loads MacBeth onto his shoulders in a seated position... before Austin comes off with a wicked clothesline, sending CMB careening off Luca's shoulders and back to the hard concrete floor with a wild rendition of the Road Warriors' 'Doomsday Device'. Austin rolls CMB back into the ring, before Luca slides in and goes for the pin. At the same time, Travis goes for a pinfall on Scully... but both teams only get a two count over the Union!
Travis begins to work on Scully with a figure four leg lock while Mr. H continuously strikes Scully with rights and lefts. On the other side of the ring, Chris MacBeth has been pulled back to his feet by Austin, but he's dug down deep and found a fire to step up against both members of FernGotti. Right fist to Austin, left fist to Luca, right fist to Austin, left fist to Luca! Chris irish whips Luca into Austin and the two crumble to the ground. Chris comes off the first turnbuckle with double fist drops for both tag champs, and stands, smiling heartily to himself. But just as he turns around--WHAMMO!!! He receives a flying lariat from Mr. H, flipping CMB inside out, before he falls to the mat. H goes for the pin... Chris kicks out!
Suddenly, with the ref checking his phone for the latest XWF headlines [check xwf99.com for all the breaking news!] ... Tush slides in with a chair of his own, whacking Mr. H in the face, sending him dropping to the canvas like a sack of bricks. Tush then guts Austin with the chair, before whacking him over the back, sending him to the canvas in a heap. Tush goes for Luca, but Arzegotti rolls out of the ring. Tush turns around to receive a dropkick from Travis McCoy, sending the IC champ out of the ring. Travis then spots Luca and the two XWF warriors stand face to face, squaring off for all the marbles. Trav goes for a lock-up, but Luca rolls out of the ring and signs an autograph or two. Travis rolls his eyes, before clearly having had enough.
Trav rolls out of the ring and attacks Luca, slamming his face into the barricade. Trav asks for one of the fans phones after wiping out Luca with a FlatLiner [a lifting reverse STO, ala the late, great Chris Kanyon]. Trav pulls Luca up to his feet [barely] as the former Xtreme champ is wobbling around, only held up by Travvie. Trav asks for the pen, which he's given.... Trav scrawls the hash tag #WREKT across Luca's forehead, before handing the pen back to the fan. Travis then takes a picture of himself, the fan, and the nearly unconcious Luca. Trav smirks before handing the phone back over to the excited fan. Trav then irish whips Luca into a corner post, causing his forehead to become busted wide open.
All the while, Mr. H and Austin are trading blows, before Austin sends a knee to Mr. H's gut. He then goes for a powerbomb, but Mr. H swipes Austin's legs out from under him and goes for a pin-- 1....2...kickout! Austin backs up into a corner, Mr. H creeps on in, but Austin takes him by surprise with a wild SPEAR! Mr. H goes down and Austin goes for a pin himself; 1....2...KICKOUT! This contest is at a stand still, with all four fighters giving it their all. SUDDENLY, a random explosion sets off mid-ring... Scully emerges from the smoke, carrying an unconcious McCoy. He tosses McCoy at Mr. H, and pins them both at once; 1..........2.........3!!! And now it's down to The Union and FernGotti!!!
Chris clotheslines Austin, hitting his neck awkwardly and Austin's head flops in an unnatural manner as he falls. Chris looks surprised at the effect but goes for the pin anyway...
...1
...2
...THREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
And now it's a handicap match! Luca is cornered on either side by Scully and Chris! Tush slides in and the Union surround Luca. The self-proclaimed #MemeQueen battles all three men, but the numbers are too great. Tush irish whips him into the ropes, he returns, and Scully goes for a dropkick, but Luca evades and somehow Scully accidentally kicks Tush out of the ring!!! That move just got #WREKT, brah! The ref's back in the ring... MacBeth goes for a spear, but AGAIN Luca evades, and Chris GORES his own partner in Scully!!! Now Chris rolls out of the ring and Luca goes for the pin...
...1
...2
...THREE!!! He gets it! It's down to Luca and Chis!
Chris comes in from behind brandishing the steel chair, but Luca turns around just in time to drive a boot into MacBeth's gut. Luca then drops him with a brainbuster and climbs the ropes... Cash Money Spalsh! Yes Spalsh because fuck you! Luca goes for the pin...
...1
...2
...THRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god was that close! Luca slams a fist into the mat out of frustration. He stands up and argues with the ref............ he's spun around right into the FINAL CUT!......... Scully heads up top and he just hit the Untouchable!!! He holds for the pin and this COULD be it!
...1
...2
...THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Crack: The winners and YOUR NEW XWF Tag Team Champions of the WORLD-- Chris MacBeth and Scully: The UNION!!!
Suddenly from the back appears...
SHANE !
: Congratulations, Union!
Have you heard the news? I'm going to be a MANAGER now!
But not just any manager.
A manager of Champions!
Shane winks the most sadistically sadistic wink that has ever been winked before vanishing to the back...
Crack: Guess it'd be that time. Let's see who the first participant is for the X-treme chamionshippppppp!!!!!!
Hail to the King blares the speakers into a submission. The sound drowns out the audience disapproval. As E-unit walks straight out onto the ramp.
Katie: He doesn't look like he's here to compete.
Crack: Do you fucking think. Let me guess that custom suit and Gucci loafers was the dead give away hahahahhaha.
E stops half way down the ramp. Puts a finger up. He bends over at the side of the ramp. Bringing up a hat and a can of monster. He puts the black hat on with the classic monster M in green. He cracks the can open and takes a swig. He steps into the camera and cuts a quick 10 sec promo for monster energy drink. He pitches the hat and nearly full can of liquid into the crowd.
The camera shows the announce table. They set there stunned. Mouths wide open as E continues his strut down the aisle l!
Katie: Do you think XWF made money off that advertisement.
Crack: I'd say no. E-unit is douche baggerey at its finest, and I like it. What the fuck is he doing now. He's digging around under the ring. Please God don't let that man stain those knees.
Katie: What?
Crack: That's gotta be a 2000 dollar set of slacks. People like E-unit don't shop at men's wear house you know. What in the.
Katie: ( laughter ) I guess when your a whore on the level he is. You can afford to wear 2000 dollar pants.
The screen blacks out completely.
Crack: I'm getting word from the trucks. XWF cannot show you what this man is doing. Just know it's funny, and he's making a complete ass of himself.
Katie: If he goes this fair to sell beeeeeeepp I'd love to see him try and sell a hot dog.
The crowd can be heard chanting this is awesome. As an official can be heard explaining to E that the cameras are blacked out.
Crack: Don't make him stop now. We're blacked out and I bet the ratings are through the roof. Can you imagine what would happen if we had the rights to advertise the product he's pitching.
Katie: People would probably start watching wrestling again.
The camera comes back on to live feed. E stands there mic in hand. Looking out among the masses. The front 25 rows is showed making a bowing motion. Almost to the point it looks like a wave. E wets his lips the smile that was on his face has vanished. He brings the mic up.
E: Now how was that for an entrance. ( the crowd pops ) Sadly I must report the last half was blacked out. ( crowd boos ) Apperntly if XWF ain't getting paid. Well ain't anybody getting paid. So if you took pictures. Get them up on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Hashtag E-unit
Katie: E-unit and XWF is trending right now.
E: For the lucky ones who videotaped that. Get it out there to the masses.
The camera zooms around to show a frontal of E.
E: Now onto business. Many wonder why am I standing here in the finest threads known to man...... Well that's because I'm not competing here tonight. ( booooooo ) XWF Suits said E you can go out there and expose the truth. Show the fans you're the greatest on the roster we have. So I paused a moment. Then I said I've had one match and you already want to give me a pay raise. I mean the units doing alright, but more bread never hurt anybody.
Crack: How can you not respect this man. Most idiots would ask for title shots. This mans asking for money.
E: They laughed. They laughed in my face and degraded my man hood.
Katie: No I'm pretty sure you did that 10 minutes ago!
E: They said E we want you to go out and compete for the X-treme championship! ( crowd comes to a roar ) I thought what part of E-unit looks X-treme. What part of this chiseled body looks like it's just begging to get hit with a weapon! So I thought even harder, and I asked the suits how much is that belt worth. Now I'm here to tell you people. The pawn shop I'd try sell it to. Would make me pay them to take it off my hands. The trash bag I'd throw it in after I won it would be worth less because the X-treme belt is in it.
Crack: Whoa
E: I happily declined their offer. So now the establishment tells E. That I have to come out here and explain why I'm not going to wrestle. I'm supposed to look like a fool.
Katie: Congratulations you have successfully achieved their goal.
E: I've made a killing off my few appearances. So now I'm telling the man. That told me I had to come out here and tell you fans I'm not competing. To kiss my ass. Sign my check son and for fuck sakes the ink better not be smeared. So fan dry that some bitch. E-unit is officially retired until XWF Can come up with something to peak my interest. Hit my music.
Go on take the money and run blasts instead of E-units theme. E shakes his head. As he walks up the ramp. Fans throw stuff at him. Soda splashes his face as he stops to yell at the fan. The lights go out in the arena.
Crack: What's going on. Everything surrounding this guy is over the top.
The lights come back on E is vanished.
Katie: Where'd he go?
The camera feed skips two or three times. A dimly lit room. A silhouette sits in a chair. Hands tied behind his back. A man in a mask appears. His voice is distorted. As he looks around.
Man: Deep in the recesses of this arena. The bowels have swolled you whole. Like a Phoenix rises from the ashes so shall you. Then you will know what it means to be a victim of violence.
The man reaches down and swiftly removes the mask covering. The man in the chairs head.
Katie: OMG It's E-unit.
Crack: And even with a gag ball in his mouth. This bdsm scene is still the second most embarrassing thing he's done tonight.
Katie is heard laughing.
Katie: What a great promo. Wish we could have showed it.
The camera zooms into a bloody face. E has on a blind fold. Mutters and groans as the man hits him repeatedly.
Man: No one will come for you. No one cares!
The man kicks him in a the side of the face, as the chair tumbles over. The gag ball comes dislodged. E yells in fear and pain. As the camera holds still on his Picasso painted bloody face. The freeze fame holds and a hash tag appears. Words slowly fade in. #savee-unit
X-treme Championship Frodo Mother fucking Smackins
- vs -
THE WORLD!
ALL challengers welcome! All you need to do is start RPing for this match, and make sure you label your RP titles so we don't miss them! X-treme Adult Swim Match
Everybody starts off at the same time. Match takes place in an abandoned swimming pool, with knee deep shit in it. First one out of the pool wins the whole thing!
We open to an indoor swimming pool of shit. Who's shit? Everybody's shit. Mostly Maverick's. Anyhow, Frodo is in the very middle, yelling into a microphone. A few fans are sitting on the bleachers with gas masks on to filter out the terrible smell in the air. Frodo shouts;
Frodo: LADIES AND GENTLEFUCKS!!! The following is the first EVER Adult Swim, Pool of Shit Match! It is for MY Xtreme Title, and you better bet your ASS I'm keepin' this motherfucker around my beautiful waist after I RAPE AND KILL two pieces of trash IN a pool of waste! Bank on it!!!!
A bloody casket with purple skulls lowers from the ceiling. Suddenly the wire snaps and it crashes into the pool of shit. The casket explodes into confetti and then Hero Xtreme 7.9's music starts playing and a bunch of poultry walk out onto the side of the pool as the fans cheer enthusiastically.
Frodo: First off, after me of course, is LEGENDARY XWF SUPERHERO, hailing from thel lovely surroundings of X-Town, it's some dumbass. I mean, XTREEEEEEEEMEEEEEE HEROOOOOOOOOO!!! 7.9 Edition for Workstations.
Hero steps out of the pool and tries to chop the poultrys' heads off. Any of the turkeys he manages to kill are given to kids in the audience.
Frodo: AND NOW.... THE most useless sack of flesh I've met this side of rAyNe Gordon.............OPHELIA SOMETHIN' OR 'NOTHER!!!
The lights shut out and "Prayer" by Disturbed plays. The fans find the words 'resist assimilation. think outside the box. fight the prison of naievety and RISE above the shackles of Normalocracy' on the X-Tron hung above the hgh-diving board, before crimson red sparks rain down from the ceiling over the X-tron and diving board. Ophelia McVeigh steps through the curtains to a wave of boos, flanked by his girlfriend, ATM: Ann-ThraxXx McVeigh..
Ophelia wears a pair of dark black shades, ripped jeans and a black tee with the word 'RISE' written across the front in blood red. The duo glares out across the sea of fans, Ophelia smirking to himself and shaking his head as Ann-Thraxxx waves with a mocking smile. Ann and Ophelia slowly walk toward the pool, hand in hand, glaring at the fans and soaking in their resentment.
Ophelia takes Ann's hand and kisses the back softly. He gazes into her eyes, before she kisses him on the cheek... and then motions for him to sit down beside her. Ophelia slips his thick black boots into the pool, so he can be in the pool without really feeling the effects of the shit.
Frodo: Ok, so the two of you are just gonna sit there without getting in the pool? Well fine, those boots aren't gonna be enough, and if you don't get in the pool, you're DISQUAL--
Ann suddenly shoves Ophelia into the pool, his screaming heard throughout the building before he lands face first into the pool. He quickly gets up and yells at Ann, desperately wiping at his mouth and face. Ann grimaces and shouts for McVeigh to focus on the match at hand. Ophelia turns and finds himself nose to nose with Hero Xtreme. Hero brings OM and sends him flying through the air with an exploder suplex! Ophelia lands in the shit, and now Frodo's kicking him!
Frodo lifts up Ophelia and is abou to strike, when Hero comes up from behind Fro and hits a German Hero Suplex! Frodo's head is buried in the shit, and he kicks his feet about in the air trying to free himself. Ophelia's back up and he reaches into the shit... he's found a shovel! He goes to whack Hero in the head, but Hero evades. OM goes for another shovel shot but misses once again. Hero SPEARS Ophelia into the ton of feces and begins to lay in a few right fists.
Frodo pulls Hero off of Ophelia, before sriking with the HADOUKEN!!! Hero is sprawled out in the shit sea, as Frodo heads to the edge of the pool to get out. Suddenly however, a hand reaches out from the shit... the hand tries to pull Frodo into the shitty abyss, but Fro fights back, pulling the figure out with his leg.. IT'S MAVERICK!!!
Frodo: What in the FUCK are YOU doing here?!
Mav: Well, I heard we were having a match in a pool full of shit, and this place is like a second home to me now! Ya can't have a shit party without the Mav Man!!!
Frodo: OH yes we can!
Frodo punts Maverick in the head, as Mav was only halfway out. His eyes roll back into their sockets. Frodo pulls Maverick all the way out... Hero rushes toward him, but Frodo tosses Maverick's body at the oncoming XWF icon. Maverick and Hero tumble into a heap, Frodo goes to escape the pool, just as Ophelia comes out of nowhere with a rake! The rake breaks in half over Frodo's skull, and Fro falls to the sea of shit. Ophelia drops the broken rake handle, lowers and begins to rub Frodo's face into the putrid shit.
Hero is finally up and trying to escape, but Ophelia sees this and heads toward 7.9 with a sinister gleem in his eye. He springs up from behind Hero Xtreme and hits a killer Zig Zag! Ophelia digs into the shit...... it's a TOILET FILLED WITH SHIT!!! He heaves the toilet up and drops it ontop of Hero, pinning him underneath with the mounds of shit all over him, covering from top and below in the brown, stinky stuff.
Frodo catches Ophelia from behnd with GILMOUR CUTTER!!! Ophelia's face is once again driven into the pool, Frodo then starts pissing all over both Ophelia and the shit covered Hero!!! Frodo then digs into the shit and pulls out a cable cord! He lifts the cord into the air to a mixed reaction. He begins to tie it around Ophelia's throat, strangling the ever lovin' fuck outta him. Hero comes up from behind Frodo with a plunger and starts to... uh... plunge his head. As if that'll do anything.....?
Frodo releases Ophelia and glares in Hero's direction. Hero then goes to smack Frodo with the plunger but Frodo swats the plunger from Hero's hands, before booting the bigger foe in the gut, doubling him over. Fro leaps up, before drilling him with a ddt into the huge shit hole. Frodo pulls out a washboard!!! He strums at the washboard a bit... there's Maverick blowing on a jug!!! The two are-- RKO! RKO! RKO! HERO JUST HIT A DOUBLE RKO ON BOTH MEN!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Maverick magically gets right back up lke a hacked CAW in WWE2K16 snd heads over to Ann the Zombie/Ghost/Clone/Whatever and sits beside her, the both of them eating Jack Hoff brand gat dam sammiches. SUDDENLY THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!
Hot pink laser lights go all over the place before former XWF star Jack Hoff returns, his cousin Mike Hunt beside him, standing as D-Preperation H, the newest tag team to arrive here in the XWF!!! If anybody embodies 'Adult Swim', it's Jack Hoff! The lights return to normal as 'Welcome to the Jungle' continues to play and H&H sit beside Ann&Mav, gobbling up ham sandwiches.
Hero heads back to escape the pool.... but Ophelia just struck with a SLICE OF VICE, aka the TKO!!! Hero's stuck in shit, and Frodo's slowly recovering... Frodo heads for Ophelia to pull him away from the edge.......... EDGE OF GLORY!!! The Outsider's Edge connects, and Frodo's head is once again buried in shit! Frodo struggles to get out of the predicament, while Ophelia is now heading for the side of the pool, the fans booing every step of the way, as Mav, Ann, and the D-H duo all cheer him forward.......
....
Can he do it???
...
HADOUKENSHIT!
OH MY GOD!
A fireball of shit just got launched by Frodo and it sails right toward Ophelia, disappearing into his back and causing him to fall back into the shit!
Smoke is rising of off of Ophelia and the smell of shit is also even stronger then ever. Frodo trudges through the shit with all his might and makes his way toward victory...
...He starts to climbs out...
Ophelia somehow gets to the other side and starts climbing out of the pool too!
They're both almost out!
But Frodo moves so comfortably while still covered in shat that he's able to give himself that last sudden burst of energy! He does it! Frodo has escaped the pool of shit!
Crack: What a shitty match that was. Get it?
Suddenly out from the shit appears SHANE ! He has the shit covered mic...
: I have to say that was an excellent match, and I'd know, I had a shit's eye view of it! HA!
Now with that said I want to congratulate you, Frodo! You're still the champion as well as the GM of this show. Did you hear about ME, though?
I'm going to be a MANAGER now...
A manager who lets bygones be bygones...
A manager of CHAMPIONS.
And that reminds me, since you still have that title, be ready for anything when it comes to the surprise Vinnie Lane has in store for you. You can be sure he's only been hanging back tonight because he's preparing for his title defense but you might have a harder time next Warfare when he has time to pay attention to you!
Shane's wink is so sadistic as shit falls from his face and body. He turns to Ophelia...
: Ophelia, I see how close you came here today and I can see you WANT it badly. You didn't mind how much shit you got in your eyes, ears or mouth tonight. You're a fighter... dare I say with the heart of a champion?
Oh, and did you hear about ME?
I'm no longer the owner! I'm free! Free to be what I've always DONE BEST...
Manage.
And I plan to manage the best... The ones with the drive to be CHAMPIONS and will do whatever it takes!
Shane's wink to Ophelia produces such a sadistic force that it sends Shane plummeting straight back down into the shit with a massive splash.
Intercontinental Championship Tush
- vs -
Trax 3 RP Limit
Cage Of Death!
The eerie boom of the bass vibrates around the arena as multiple laser and strobe lights obnoxiously flash, to the arrival of the Lounge Lizard. Tush makes his way through the curtain and smirks at the crowd while having a rag on his shisha pen which he puffs out in the shape of a lizard before continuing to make his way down the ramp. He struts his way up the steel steps before stepping through the ropes, where he goes over to the opposite corner and turns around, grabbing the ropes and slumping down onto the ring canvas.
Trax walks down to the ring in his wrestling attire and a black trench coat that reads "Mr FN' Dominance" and shades, he looks around at the crowd pointing and beating his chest smiling. Before he walks to the ring like a man with a mission and climbs the ring steps before climbing onto the turnbuckle. He raises his right arm into the air in a clench fist before jump off the turnbuckle into the ring. He takes off his shades and coat places them both into the corner before walking to the middle of the ring shadow boxing as he does, he then stands in the middle of the ring and raises his arm once more in a clenched fist, before backing up into the ring corner and shadow boxing some more and bouncing up and down on the spot waiting for the match to start.
Trax and Tush glare at one another as the cage lowers over the ring. Strewn about the ring and the surrounding area included within the enclosed cage, are objects meant for extreme dismantlement. Spiked clubs, chains, steel chairs, tables, ladders, spring loaded batons, whips, toilet plungers, barbed wire covered baseball bats, high voltage tasers, a live 20 foot long python and a steaming bucket of "fun" from the last time Frodo tripled himself, are just some of the items included as options for tonight's match. The fans are howling with excitement, ready for blood and tons of gore as the bell sounds and this fight for the Intercontinental Championship... begins!
Tush diving right into the swing of things by charging at Mr. FN Dominance, he quickly catches Trax with a Clothesline! Sprinting off towards the ropes, Tush springboards off them and gets Trax with a Diving Elbow Drop. Followed by an immediate Texas Cloverleaf! Yet Trax surges at the ropes and manages to break the hold before any real damage can be done. Annoyed, Tush rises to his feet at the same exact moment Trax gets to his and they both lock up. However, this swiftly turns into a furious exchange of rights and lefts before Trax delivers a quick and unexpected Headbutt, to the bridge of Tush's nose. A small trickle of blood seeps down into the Lounge Lizard's stash but otherwise he's fine. Trax cures this situation with a kick to his midsection and then gives a Hip Toss that sends Tush careening towards the ropes, bouncing off them he soars right back to Trax and gets taken down with a Big Boot!
Tush hits the canvas and lays there long enough for Trax to connect a solid Elbow Drop. From there, Mr. FN Dominance rolls Tush over, quickly placing him in a Crossface Trax expertly delivers the submission and promptly brings the pain. Wrenching Tush's head back as hard as he can, Trax yells out and Tush joins in with his own screams... of agony. This only causes Trax to yank back harder as Tush hollers in extreme torment. His hand out and shaking with the immense agony he must feel. The crowds gasps as they believe Tush is about to tap out this early in the fight. Inches from the canvas, Tush's hand is vibrating worse than Michael J. Fox without his meds. Hungry for an easy win Trax pulls the hold even tighter as sweat beads on his forehead and a fierce look of desire enters his eyes. But Tush does not satisfy Mr. Dominance's craving! Instead, the Lounge Lizard bellows out in defiance as he stretches his arm forward, hand immediately grasping onto the rope, he clutches it tight and breaks the hold!
Dominance quick to his feet, strides over and grabs a steel chair while Tush gingerly rises. Trax turns and rushes towards Tush, leaping into the air with the steel chair extended and expectant for contact! But at the last second Tush dodges the impact and Trax soars out of the ring and crashes to the mat surrounding it! Tush gazes out and rests both palms on the top rope as he looks at Trax slowly rising from the mat. A devilish smile creeps across his face and then, Tush is airborne! Flying out at Trax with a Top Rope Missile Dropkick! Tush hits Trax with amazing accuracy and the impact forces Trax into the cage wall! Crashing into it head first, Trax flops backwards and hits the padded floor. That's when all hope for humanity dies and Tush goes for the bucket.
Yep, that's right, the steaming bucket of sick from the last time Frodo tripled himself. It's chock full of cum, shit and thick chunks of vomit. It's a wonder how Frodo managed to get it all in there! And so neatly too! Not a single drop on the outside! Oh but what's this? There also appears to be some urine and a little cat food included within the repugnant vessel too. It's quite the ungodly stew and Tush nearly adds to it with some puke of his own as he lifts the bucket and the putrid stench of it all wafts to his nose. Luckily though, he manages to hold it back and rushes over to Trax, still laying on the padded floor. Tush raises the bucket over Trax's head and looks down with pure glee as he starts to tilt the bucket of nightmares. Trax, shaking the cobwebs off, sees this happening and shouts out in fear and utter disgust. Reacting quickly Trax kicks the bucket, seconds before the contents spill forth and the slop winds up covering Tush instead! The sheer smell of the abhorrent cocktail mixed with the power of Trax's kick to the bucket itself, knocks Tush over and he instantly begins throwing up! Puking with heavy chest heaves, he vomits all over himself, the side of the ring and the padded floor.The now overturned bucket, resting on its side while also on Tush's chest, reveals every last drop has been emptied onto Tush. How revolting! Tush gags and screams as Trax gets to his feet. Picking up a spring loaded baton as he rises, he walks over to Tush and lifts the bucket. Then he puts the bucket over Tush's head, extending the spring loaded baton to it's full length Trax starts to wail on Tush, like there's no tomorrow!
The baton slams into the bucket until the empty filth vessel cracks to bits! From there, Trax continues his brutal beatdown, striking nearly every inch of Tush's body with that baton as Tush recoils in agony! One hit after another, Tush's entire form is being covered in massive red marks and welts. Tush tries to get away, crawling on his hands and knees but he slips in the plethora of filth that both coats his body and surrounds him. Tush flop face first into the disgusting goop and starts to writhe in pain as he attempts to slither away. Trax just keeps on with the beating though, like he's become a machine or a maniac obsessed with hitting someone with a baton. Each blow even harder than the previous hit, there's suddenly a snap and Trax looks on with disbelief. He broke the fucking baton in half!
Severely bruised and beaten bloody, Tush flails desperately and grabs the first thing his hand touches. Throwing it with all his might, the object of choice turns out to be the 20 foot long python! Which doesn't get much air time before it hits the ground in front of Trax. The snake looks at Trax and flicks its tongue at him before it slithers between his legs and disappears under the ring. Trax sidesteps away, his eyes locked on the snake until the tip of its tail vanishes from sight and then he turns his focus towards Tush.
Unfortunately, Tush has used the time Trax was distracted by the python to his advantage and not only did he rise to his feet but Tush also acquired a weapon. A club covered in spikes! Tush strike Dominance in the shoulder and Trax shouts out in pain as the spikes sink into his flesh! Tush yanks the club back and blood immediately rushes out of the holes in Mr. Dominance's shoulder, trails of crimson pouring all down his chest and back as Tush goes for another swing. This time, Trax blocks the blow but the club still hits his forearm. The spike stabbing into his arm, Trax hollers out and uses his other hand to grab Tush by the throat! Tush releases the club and it stays put in Trax's arm. Trax's eyes dart from the club to Tush and repeat that motion a few times before Trax tightens his grip. From there he delivers an O.T.M (Ode To Machine)! The fans are on their feet and screaming at this point!
Once Tush is down Trax rips the spiked club from his arm and slams it into Tush's spine, where he leaves it stuck in place. After that, Trax begins to send massive stomps down into the club! Gritting his teeth while he grabs onto the cage for support, he puts all his weight into each stomp! Blood gushes from the wound in Tush's back while each stomp pumps out a thicker stream, slowly Tush's body becomes slick and overcome with red. Drenching and coating his body, the blood covers up the previous layer of filth and pools around him as he grows limp and visibly weak.
Trax then reaches down, lifting Tush from the mat, Trax rolls him into the ring and follows soon after. Yanking Tush from the canvas by his hair, he throws the man into the corner where Tush stays put. His body slumped in the corner, head drooping to the side, Tush is in a terrible state. Barely able to stand, Trax helps Tush to the canvas with a Trap Silencer! Tush's body thunders to the canvas and Trax covers him for the...
...1
...2
...Three!
Trax grins as the ref throws his newly awarded title over his shoulder.
Crack: Your winner is Trax! Tush's career is officially over!
The fans begins the nah nah hey hey goodbye song as Trax joins them while making his way to the back. Tush pulls himself up and looks around, blinking a few times and taking it all in. He starts to make his way up the ramp and waves as the fans transition from singing to applauding him. They start a Thank You Tush chant as he stands atop the ramp and looks out to the sea of fans for a few seconds before nodding in appreciation and turning to make his exit.
One seriously pissed off narrator: Austin Fernando is packing his bag in his locker, and preparing to leave. There are giant crocodile tears dripping down his bitch ass face. He mutters something about Memes when suddenly the door opens in his locker room. There's a shadow in the doorway, and Austin's bitch ass can barely make it out. It steps forward, and slams the door behind him. The light is now too dark for him to make out the figure. He's nervous, and pees himself.
"It's rape time, boy."
Austin tries to fight back, but the only sounds to come out are the sounds of a beached whale crying, and what appears to be gurgling on cum. Probably Luca's. The Shadowed man moves towards Austin, and whips his belt off. Austin tries to run away, but the floor is so soaked by his tears that he slips and falls right on the floor. The mystery man, who is definitely not Frodo, moves towards Austin, and whips Austin across the back and buttocks with the belt. A tiny voice is heard.
Thank you, Senpai.
"Shut the fuck up, bitch."
Without another word, Frodo Mystery man rips Austin's pants down, and looks at Austin's exposed anus, it's all red, swollen, and abused. The Mystery man lowers his pants, and slides his hard cock right into Austin's asshole. He thrusts and thrusts and thrusts. Austin is crying like a bitch, and wishing his mother was here to stop it. But, she isn't. Because he's a bitch. Suddenly the door is kicked in again, and someone stands in the doorway. A deep angry voice bursts from the doorway.
YOU! MYSTERY MAN THAT IS TOTALLY NOT FRODO! STOP RAPING THAT BITCH!
The giant man runs in, and the mystery man gets to his feet and runs out of the locker room trying to pull his pants up. The Giant Mystery Man walks over and begins to piss all over Austin Fernando's bitch ass raped ass.
FUCK YOU! MOTHER FUCKER!! JOHN MADISON IS A JEW!!
The Giant man pulls a bowie knife out of his pocket, and flips Austin over onto his stomach. Austin's unimpressive member is laying there, limp and useless. It will never please anyone. The Giant slashes off Austin's dick, and ties the dick around the other tiny dicks on his necklace.
Good fit, little fella. You'll fit nicely with Peter and Bjorn.
MAIN EVENT Universal Championship
- vs - Peter Fucking Gilmour 2 out of 3 Falls Match
Peter picks round one stips
Lane picks round two stips
Round three, if needed, is a buried alive in shit match!
The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then hear the eerie sounds of a bell being tolled and then an explosion of fire emitting from the entrance ramp. The beginning of SICK LIKE ME by IN THIS MOMENT begins as the heavy guitar riffs kick in and red strobes dance around the stage. As soon as the verse kicks in, we see Peter Gilmour and his lovely queen Maria Brink #2 come out to the ramp. They smile at each other before going down the ramp hand in hand. Peter bobs his head to the song. They get in the ring together and Peter gets on the turnbuckle and throws up an "X" sign as pyro goes off above the ring. Peter hops down and hugs Maria as they wait his next victim...
"I Wanna Rock!"
The high pitched wail of Dee Snider pierces the air as the Twisted Sister classic pumps through the PA system. As two big pyro towers shoot off on either side of the stage, "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane spins out of the entrance ramp, wearing his favorite t-shirt, a cutoff Faster Pussycat screen print, long silver tights and shining silver boots. The crowd pops as Loverboy struts down the aisle, strumming the air guitar across his XWF-IWGP Universal Championship and leaping into the air with a jumping split. As he hops onto the ring apron, he swings around, facing the crowd, and pumps his fist along to the music, singing along and inciting the crowd to do so as well.
Lane and Peter are both waiting in their corners, they know what's to come, and are prepared for it. The ref calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Both men walk to the center of the ring and they lock up! Peter pulls Vinnie in close, and slams his head directly into Lane's face, sending him back, but with Peter still holding Lane's arm, he pulls him in again, this time to be caught off guard with massive jab from Lane before he can connect his head. Peter releases Lane's arm, and stumbles back. Lane is on the attack with a spear that nearly topples Peter, but the Legend stands tall. Lane is pushing as hard as he can, but the men only take a few steps back allowing Peter to drop his elbows on Vinnie's spine. Lane is resilient, though, he doesn't go down. Instead, he throws his arms into Peter's ribs as hard and as fast as he can possibly go. Peter is taking it like a boss, but he is not able to stay strong for as long as Lane can deliver the blows. Peter starts to stumble and stagger, and Lane moves out of the way. As Peter starts to regain his footing Lane throws out a Superkick that Peter manages to barely dodge.
He catches Lane off balance with a quick haymaker to the jaw and then follows it up by grabbing Vinnie by the throat, pulling him in close, releasing, and grabbing for a devastating Body Slam. As Peter tries to get out of the ring quickly to get glass panes ready, he's caught off guard with a Superkick to the back of the head that sends him tumbling forward. Lane is up again and on the move, and Peter is down. Lane charges at Peter, leaps over his body, hits the ropes, and bounds off of the top rope for a moonsault right on Peter. Lane is up on his feet first, and jumps out of the ring with a virility that shocks no one, but definitely turns more than a few ladies on. Some men as well, but the match digresses. Lane is quick on his feet and moves over to the announcer's table. Katie is giggling and cooing as she hands Lane some panes of glass that she smuggled over to her side, hoping to hit Peter with them. Lane fakes a smile, and sets the glass down on Crack to sign Katie's tits that she exposed for him. Crack shakes his head as Lane puts the pen away, grabs the glass and heads back into the ring. Peter is up on the move in the ring. As soon as Lane enters it, Peter kicks him in the knee, then gets behind Lane, and spears him into the turnbuckle, and sends him through the glass panes. The ref calls for the bell.
Crack: Your winner of round 1 is Peter Fucking Gilmour.
Peter and Lane separate and pause while the officials come into the ring, and attach a chain to Lane's wrist, and one to Peter's wrist. They then place a pole in the middle of the ring, and run the chain through it, making it good and sturdy. They step out of the ring, and call for the bell. Lane tugs on his end of the chain a few times and smiles. Peter pulls his as hard as he can. Lane doesn't budge, so Peter keeps pulling and pulling, trying to bring Lane towards the pole, but Lane has other plans as he charges at Peter head first, holding his arm out. He closes in on Peter, and he leaps! Soaring through the air like a majestic blonde Teased Eagle, Lane lands with his boot firmly in Peter's chest, and Peter is down on the ground, and the fans are split. Some of the crowd are cheering for Lane, the other half is chanting for Lane to suck Peter's dick. But, Vinnie being the professional he is, ignores it and begins to savagely beat Peter with the chain while screaming something. The crowd can't hear what Lane is saying, but he sure does seem angry. Peter just chuckles sadistically as the beating is taking place, which causes Lane to pause for a moment. Peter sees something Lane doesn't, but Lane feels. THWAP! Cane to the back of the head from Crack. Crack entered the ring to bash Lane in the head. Vinnie collapses, and the crowd erupts. Crack offers Peter a head up, but as Peter's about to take it, Crack punches him in the eye and hobbles out of the ring.
Katie: Savage.
Peter and Lane are both sprawled out, but Lane is stirring first. He's getting up, and trying to move, but Peter rips the chain as hard as he can, and actually pulls Lane back down for a moment. Both men lay there recovering from their assault, and trying to stumble to their feet, but it's Lane who's up first. Lane, the ever agile cheetah, pops up, and runs over to Peter's body. He throws a massive series of boots to Peter's head, and chest. Peter is doing his best to deflect them and get out of the way, but Lane is too quick for Peter. He's almost too much, until Peter grabs Lane's foot, twists the ankle until we hear a pop, and he throws Lane back. Lane hits a turnbuckle, and then gets a smirk. Peter's trying to get to his feet as Lane is hobbling as fast as he can. He's touched one turnbuckle, he needs to touch three more. Peter is up, and catches as Lane touches the second. He begins to move to the third, and Peter tugs on the chain to stop him, but it doesn't work. Lane gets it. Both men charge for the last turnbuckle, and Peter catches Lane right before he touches it with a massive spear that actually sends Lane into the turnbuckle. The ref calls for the bell!!
Katie: Holy shit! Peter has just caused Lane to win round 2. Loverboy Vinnie Lane is the winner of round 2. And hopefully I can put that name to the test later.
Officials come in and remove the chains from around Peter and Lane's wrists, before taking the pole down. Lane rubs his ankle as a truck comes down the ramp, and dumps a massive pile of human shit right on the side of the apron. The fans close to it begin to vomit on the pile in disgust, making it a vomit and shit pile.
Crack: Ladies and Gentlemen, the third and final round will be decided by burial. Whoever buries their opponent in the shit first wins.
Peter and Lane lock up, and the last official drops a shovel on the ground. Peter slams Lane with a Gilmour Cutter, and Lane lays there grasping for air. Peter begins to kick at him, but Lane rolls out of the way. Peter is furious and stomping away at the ground, but Lane keeps evading it. This keeps making Peter more and more angry, but Lane evades every stomp, and rolls out of the ring. He gets to his feet on the apron, and moves to the shit pile. He smells it, and then spits on it in disgust. Peter dives outside of the ring, and charges at Lane only to be caught right in the head with the Shovel!
Peter is down and bleeding. Lane throws the shovel down on the ground, and mounts Peter. With one hand he holds onto Peter's hair, and begins a serious of brutal punches to the dome of the Xtreme Icon with the other. The crowd is erupting as Peter begins to bleed more profusely from his gash.
Women begin screaming as Peter's body stops moving, and Lane drops Peter and gets to his feet. He walks over to the announcer's table and shoves Crack onto the ground, grabbing his chair!
Lane walks back over to Peter, as Peter begins to stir, only for the chair to be brought down smack down right on Peter's face, and once more right across Peter's throat. Lane relishes in the attack as Peter gasps and doubles over. The Pretty Boy leaps onto the apron, and dives off, slamming into Peter, chair first. Peter begins to cough up blood and spit a tooth onto the ground. Lane drops the chair, and lifts Peter up to his feet before slamming Peter back down with his own Gilmour Gutter, er Lane Cutter? Who knows, but Lane has stolen Peter's move!
With Peter down, Lane begins to shovel the shit on top of him...
More and more shit on top of Peter...
Peter is almost buried in shit...
Just a few more scoops is all it will take...
But no!
Somebody pulled Peter out of the shit by his ankle!
Loverboy can't believe what he's seeing as he realizes the one to pull Peter out was SHANE !
Peter is gasping for air and wiping shit off of his face as Shane smiles at Vinnie.
: Surprise surprise, Vinnie. Hey, you're the owner now, right? And yeah that's something I'm really excited to see.
But.
Did you hear about me?
Heh heh, of course you did. I'm just kidding around.
But yeah, so about me being a manager and all that...
Shane looks down at Peter Gilmour as the fans start to react.
Shane's smirk is so legedarily sadistifical that Peter can't help but smirk too with matching sadisticness oozing from him.
And then they do it...
THEY BOTH DO THE WINK!
Katie: Oh my GOD!
The fans hit the roof!
It's happening!!!!
Shane reaches down, pulling Peter up from the shit and THEY SHAKE HANDS!
Shane looks back to Vinnie who is in awe.
: And hey, Vinnie, it's just business here. Let's have some fun with this, ay?
Vinnie almost laughs in amazement, holding back a possible smile as Shane nods and smirks.
Lane: Is this really how it's going to be, dude?
: It IS.
Their demeanor appears to be somewhat of a friendly but competitive nature. Lane shrugs and throws his arms out to his sides, his voice picking up in volume.
Lane: Well then fuck it, let's get this shitdig started!
The fans roar as Shane massages Peter's shoulders and whispers something into his ear before turning his attention back to Lane.
: Oh and one last thing. Ya know, in all my years as an owner of wrestling companies, I've never once been able to be the top champion while also OWNING the company...
So, I don't know, call it jealousy maybe but I feel like it's my duty to make SURE you don't have that privilege. I'm not letting you leave here tonight as Champion. Period.
Vinnie is quick to fire right back.
Lane: You do what you have to do and I'm going to do the same for me.
And Shane walks up to shake Vinnie's hand in the spirit of competition.
: Good luck against my client, champ!
And Shane steps out of the way unexpectedly as Peter Gilmour comes charging from behind him and spearing Vinnie Lane right into the pile of shit!
Shane grabs the shovel and hands it to Peter!
OH MY GOD!
He...
...To be continued!
Yup, I just did that. Conclusion will go up shortly!
A broken and defeated Tush is limping backstage towards the car park with a somber expression on his face. Just as he finds his rental car and opens up the door, he notices that a cameraman has been following him.
"What are you going to do now Tush?"
"I don't know mate. I don't know."
"Got any last words you'd like to say?"
"I hope not."
And with that, Tush gets into the car, shuts the door and drives off into the night.
The following 3 users Like Blue Gator's post:3 users Like Blue Gator's post Mr Killjoy (04-10-2016), Ophelia (04-12-2016), Shade (04-10-2016)
There you have it folks, The Union Leader and his fabled " United Kingdom" championship is no more, thanks to yours truly, Trax, but feel free to call me "MR FN' INTERCONTINENTAL".
Tush... lucky for you my last minute change of heart and plea to make our match Career vs Career was apparently declined meaning your retirement is a choice and not mandatory... meaning you can come back whenever you wish. I hope you consider that, because although you are an arrogant douche who got his rightfully deserved humbling... you are also a hell of a wrestler I will admit.
Now Shane...what is all this talk about you being a manager of Champions?
OOC: For real though great match and awesome show overall. And Tush I hope you actually do come out of your "retirement" sooner rather then later, or you at least continuing RPing as a new character. You're a great role player and I had fun going against you mate.
Banner created by Gabe "The Radical" Reno
XWF Career accomplishments/Highlights:
One Time XWF Universal Champion
Two Time X-Treme Champion
One Time Intercontinental Champion
One Time World Tag Team Champion
XWF All Time Top 50 inductee
One Time 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Intercontinental Royal Rumble Winner
Captained the winning team "Team Dominance" at War Games '15
Lethal Lottery IV Finalist
July 2015 Superstar Of The Month
March 2017 Superstar Of The Month
October 2016 Promo Of The Month "Changes"
The following 1 user Likes Mr Killjoy's post:1 user Likes Mr Killjoy's post Ophelia (04-12-2016)
haha good show was a fun read,
I kinda figured the roster split from your post in bookings haha.
look forward to seeing where this leads.
also curious as to what is going to happen with the titles :)
cheers
EDIT-
I wanted tush for my title shot tho haha tooooo bad!
PS- Shane u planning on managing the whole damn roster or what BRUH? haha :P
(or just Me, Gilmour and Dim when we form the Resistance??? wink wink nudge nudge)
also just a side note, what is it with you guys and shit? haha I feel like you are the ones that keep that "2 girls 1 cup" video floating around the internet lmao. (if you don't know what I'm talking about, keep it that way haha)
*checks frodos internet history..... and sure as... SHIIIIT!* :P
Titles Held: Intercontinental, Tag Team (w/ Peter Gilmour)
Win / Loss / Draw (Since Return): 1 / 0 / 0
Scully
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: The 'cool' kliq fans (booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Aug 03 2014
Posts: 809
399,156
Likes Given: 239
Likes Received: 395 in 219 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 62 in 47 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 62 in 47 posts
Reputation:
18 X-Bux: ✘80,716
"There is mixed emotions from The Union camp at the moment. Our good friend, Tush has left the building. Tush, we suggest you come back, stop being mardy and celebrate with your fellow team mates, who are now your XWF Tag-Team champions of the world. Tush, this doesn't have to be the end but the beginning, the beginning of The Union taking over the XWF!
Scully and Chris Macbeth are going to make the tag division relevant again!"
The following 2 users Like Scully's post:2 users Like Scully's post Chris MacBeth (04-10-2016), Ophelia (04-12-2016)
Sonething tells me im geting screwed. Me and shane together??!
Somdthing smells and it aint the shit on vinnie lane
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
The following 1 user Likes Peter Fn Gilmour's post:1 user Likes Peter Fn Gilmour's post Ophelia (04-12-2016)
Why is this fed so teenagerish? I really don't get it. The matches are all ridiculous and not fun to read. They don't follow the roleplays whatsoever. Every show is always days late. I really don't get it.
Oh shit! Hater alert! The following 1 user Hates 15 Shows His Ass's post!1 user Hates 15 Shows His Ass's post Mr Killjoy (04-10-2016)
Hey man if you don't like the fed you know where to go? Nobody forces you to RP here lol
Banner created by Gabe "The Radical" Reno
XWF Career accomplishments/Highlights:
One Time XWF Universal Champion
Two Time X-Treme Champion
One Time Intercontinental Champion
One Time World Tag Team Champion
XWF All Time Top 50 inductee
One Time 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Intercontinental Royal Rumble Winner
Captained the winning team "Team Dominance" at War Games '15
Lethal Lottery IV Finalist
July 2015 Superstar Of The Month
March 2017 Superstar Of The Month
October 2016 Promo Of The Month "Changes"
The following 1 user Likes Mr Killjoy's post:1 user Likes Mr Killjoy's post Frodo mother fucking Smackins (04-10-2016)
(04-10-2016, 07:03 AM)15 Shows Said: Why is this fed so teenagerish? I really don't get it. The matches are all ridiculous and not fun to read. They don't follow the roleplays whatsoever. Every show is always days late. I really don't get it.
Well 15 Shows, if you really think about it... E-Feds are nothing more than a cliquish society where whom ever is the leader... leads with the leader if you understand.
If you think the matches are not fun, than o'well you aren't fun to please...but the fans are paying their hard earned bucks in international currency to see somebody in ridiculous mach stips that you think aren't fun to watch on the monitor.
Also who really needs to follow the wrestlers personal life to obtain a victory from the bookers? I mean most of the time they are busy with trying to keep up with themselves with the shenanigans backstage.
Each time you complain about shows being late, the more likely you will get Blacklisted from ever stepping foot in this company again.
You're right and I probably won't. Too many hours into apparently unread work for nothing. But I'm simply just trying to figure out why the fed is like this? With the rape stuff and cum squirting and matches that make no sense? Has it always been like that? And am I the only one who thinks a more realistic show would be more enjoyable?
The following 1 user Likes 15 Shows His Ass's post:1 user Likes 15 Shows His Ass's post Ophelia (04-12-2016)
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
(04-10-2016, 07:28 AM)15 Shows Said: You're right and I probably won't. Too many hours into apparently unread work for nothing. But I'm simply just trying to figure out why the fed is like this? With the rape stuff and cum squirting and matches that make no sense? Has it always been like that? And am I the only one who thinks a more realistic show would be more enjoyable?
That is the selling point of the XWF. There a thousands of normal efeds out there that you can join, but I understand the criticism. I do think that atm it's being shoved unnecessarily in some situations, which is off putting for new people. I'm guessing that the new show Shane was talking about is going to be a more traditional experience.
Honestly, I thought the match writing was lacking this show, but with so many old GMs abandoning the fed and a lot of people stepping in and picking up the heavy load, they've done incredibly well.
The following 1 user Likes Blue Gator's post:1 user Likes Blue Gator's post Ophelia (04-12-2016)
That's the kind of response I'm looking for. I'm not trying to shit talk or spew hate. Just understand why the writing is so kiddy and the matches don't make sense. In my match my guy left. He just left lol. For no reason haha. All the wrestlers come off as idiots the way it's written. But I get it, if that's why people like this fed than that's cool.
Well, the cum squirting was really just something I jabbed at Lane with. Lane and Frodo always bicker, and Frodo always calls Lane gay in different ways. Also, if you paid attention to the overall story, Frodo and the other GMS were going mad with power and thus threw up insanely stupid matches. Although, Shit matches have been a staple of the XWF since before I joined. We tease with rape, but it really only happened to Austin as a punishment tonight. And a lot of matches and stuff had to be either retooled, or written quickly because of some major events behind the scenes. This week's show was kind of a one off that way, we hope.
The following 3 users Like Frodo mother fucking Smackins's post:3 users Like Frodo mother fucking Smackins's post Blue Gator (04-10-2016), Ophelia (04-12-2016), Unknown Soldier (04-10-2016)
(04-10-2016, 08:09 AM)15 Shows Said: That's the kind of response I'm looking for. I'm not trying to shit talk or spew hate. Just understand why the writing is so kiddy and the matches don't make sense. In my match my guy left. He just left lol. For no reason haha. All the wrestlers come off as idiots the way it's written. But I get it, if that's why people like this fed than that's cool.
I think there is a fine line between trying to create storyline feuds and writing actions that make no sense for the character, the match writing has been a bit strange this event, it's usually a lot different. If you stick around, you may find things changing to your liking. XWF has just come off from my understanding an exodus of some sorts, so they are trying to change things up a bit and this is the transition time.
The reason XWF is so different and the appeal can be big is because literally anything is allowed and it has always been like that. There's no censorship or anything. There used to be a second show that was a more traditional efed experience which I think they are bringing back like I said, but it's not confirmed or anything so you may find that more to your liking.
The following 1 user Likes Blue Gator's post:1 user Likes Blue Gator's post Ophelia (04-12-2016)
Hey man, I have more realistic tastes when it comes to fedding too. What a place like this gives you is an opportunity to take realism as dark or crazy as you want. I know the rape and cum and shit seems childish but the fact that it's allowed means you can take it to a place that works in your world.
If you want to have the freedom to do whatever you want you're gonna have stuff that's not to your taste.
Trust me dude, I had a guy get kicked so hard his head literally spun around, I wasn't super pumped on it but it's part of fedding here.
I also think that once the people here start to realize you have the more realistic taste I think they'll cater to you a bit.
Stick it out till this transition period is over. If you don't find a place here your comfortable with then go find something more your taste, but I think you'd be smart to stick around.
The following 1 user Likes Travis McCoy's post:1 user Likes Travis McCoy's post Ophelia (04-12-2016)
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
Shade is getting ready to hit the road to get to home. When Hope walks over to him asking. Hope: ''So what are you going to do next. you bet Barney the Pedosaur, but now it looks like you have nothing to do after this. so what's going to happen.''Shade looks at her and she shivers with excitement and says to him''From the way your looking at me it seems that you're smiling at me under your mask i feel like you already got a plan and it's making me very horny.''Shade just looks at her while he throws his metal bat into a suitcase and as his pet birds fly unto his shoulders from out of nowhere he says to her Shade: Hope i will reveal my plans. later after all we have a bit of time. but if you want sample, all i can say is a certain champion will be my next target if he likes it or not.''After shade had said that hope embracing him saying. ''But after your little holiday i'm debuting right.'' Shade nods and as the camera fades to black Hope goes in for a kiss leaving a lipstick mark on Shades mask
End Of Transmission
Oh shit! Hater alert! The following 1 user Hates Shade's post!1 user Hates Shade's post Peter Fn Gilmour (04-10-2016)
Which one of ye take responsibility? Which one of ye has meddled in me personal affairs? I can tell you, someone....will PAY! These isn't waters sailed through easily, and the XWF and every single one of these scallywag pansies, eccentric as one ought not be, whichever of you decided to step in me business with the likes of that wench Alice tonight will pay, significantly. These chains? I'll wrap them around ye necks and tug. The ole' tug and pull special. Needn't be confused with ye visits overseas, no tuck and tugs right Sleepy? Right....
Consider this a CHALLENGE to the coward who took me out with the aid of some two bit theatrics....
I've put all of ya phoney buccaneers on notice. Tell it now, I will find out which of ya knocked the Port City Powerhouse out cold on his debut in the XWF....and I will lay ye down to rest, down in Davey Jone's locker...
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
Ghost Tank sits on the return 'cruise', on a satellite t.v. set, watching the replay of what Shane said, shaking his head.
A few hours later, he'd call Shane up from a nearby phone,
"Mister Manager of Champions. Whether Peter wins the Universal or if he stays the Hart champion, make sure he knows that I'm coming for the Hart Championship. Unless someone can give me a reason to go for a different title.
Hell, put it out for me, Shane, if someone makes a good case for me to not go after the Hart title, I'll give them twenty grand in the form of Xbux, and a hundred grand in U.S. currency."
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
The following 1 user Likes Peter Fn Gilmour's post:1 user Likes Peter Fn Gilmour's post Unknown Soldier (04-10-2016)
OOC: It sounds like 15 Shows is saying he's more used to feds where the same person reads all your RPs, judges if you win, collects your submitted segments, and also writes your match. If the same person did ALL those things every time for every wrestler, results would take 2 weeks to come out AFTER the deadline hit.
The question of "unread work" doesn't apply. Nowhere in XWF does it state that something you say or do IN an rp is guaranteed to transfer into a match of yours. There's a REASON we have the segments/attacks link. That's where you go when you want to make sure something specific is adhered to for your character, or to submit SPOTS FOR YOUR MATCH which basically turn the match into something that matches what YOU are developing within your character and his wrestling abilities IC.
As far as matches on this show, it was mentioned publicly that many of them had to be speed written and that some other issues were going wrong. Hell, I even said myself after that fact that I'm just hoping to get this done with so we can all start discussing the new directions/shows.
It almost seems like if you pay enough attention, every single concern of yours 15 Shows has already been addressed before you said anything.
The following 2 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post:2 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post (04-10-2016), Frodo mother fucking Smackins (04-10-2016)
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
"Peter, I'm assuming you win the Universal. If you do, why would you want to keep the Hart title? Then again, smart choices aren't in your repertoire, are they?"
Oh shit! Hater alert! The following 1 user Hates Mr. Oz's post!1 user Hates Mr. Oz's post Peter Fn Gilmour (04-10-2016)
I'm not used to a fed with one person doing everything. That probably would end up horrible. I've been in one other fed and they had a team of people. Like 3 or 4 people who judged and wrote each show. With random people doing it each week it just comes off as sloppy.
As far as unread work, I am new here and not fully aware of all the aspects of the fed. I just figured whoever reads the roleplays would write the matches rather than me writing my ass off only to read the match and see my guy leave half way through the match for no reason. And even the other matches with the teenage comedy. But like others have said there's some sort of transition period happening right now so maybe it's not always like this.
(04-10-2016, 02:01 PM)Ghost Tank Said: Ghost Tank chuckles
"Peter, I'm assuming you win the Universal. If you do, why would you want to keep the Hart title? Then again, smart choices aren't in your repertoire, are they?"
Suck my dick
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
The following 3 users Like Peter Fn Gilmour's post:3 users Like Peter Fn Gilmour's post Ophelia (04-12-2016), Unknown Soldier (04-10-2016), Vincent Lane (04-10-2016)
Thanks for repeating what everyone else said. Maybe the lack of communication is the problem. But if you guys like it then it's not a problem. Maybe this fed just isn't for me. Who knows, maybe we'll find out.
OOC: 15 Shows, I was the same when I started here, I thought it was OTT, a bit too crazy for my liking. I moaned to some people as I preferred the traditional type, the more wrestling side. I even called it "Stupid". I went on Madness cuz of this, Monday Madness was the traditional way and seems like that could be coming back. Now though and for quite some time, I really couldn't give a monkey's, it's all made up right? After all for quite some time, Scully was and you know what? It was fun and alot of people enjoyed reading my stuff. It's all a bit of fun and although I might not like everything, it doesn't bother me at all. As long as Scully isn't being bum raped like Fernando, I couldn't care less lol
Just give a shot. Everything and anything is pretty much allowed which actually makes it more fun. Use your imagination. After all this is creative writing :)
The following 1 user Likes Scully's post:1 user Likes Scully's post Ophelia (04-12-2016)
Alright, I'm just going to come out and say this. 15, I'm the one that wrote your match and it was my idea to have that happen. It was a dumb idea and ended up creating this mess, but PLEASE don't let that be the reason you leave. I was here in 2013, got banned, and realized I'd never had as much fun in the 15 years I've been doing this as I did here. It's as they say, free to the fullest of your imagination. Witches, aliens, and like my character Reeve, Demonic Shape-shifters. Anything you can think of is possible here, and that's the appeal. Travis McCoy is the embodiment of the fact that a 'normal' wrestler he can get over here. He doesn't get involved with 'childish humor', his promos are focused directly on the match he's in, he always puts in work, and he's driven, and doesn't need a lot of the gimmicks that are used here.
Makavelli's the same way. Classic roleplays focusing on 'normal' storytelling, and he contributes with graphics, videos, segments all that jazz and it helps tremendously. But the bottom line is this; Stay. Wait it out, and I can almost guarantee you won't regret it. I'm sorry I had that happen with your character, but I was told the winner, so having you and J kinda got the short end of the stick, and for that I seriously apologize. But don't be upset with everyone else here cuz of me. I hope you do stick around and give the new direction a shot. More than likely you'll be happy you did.
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. The reason for this is before the show, out in the lot, Shane was handing out hundred dollar bills and telling people if they cheer loud enough for him he'll come back out after the show to give away even more money.![[Image: p3wdn.gif]](https://i.imgflip.com/p3wdn.gif)
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