Travis? Yoo hoo. Where are you at? You were calling for me to cut a promo, and talking about me, and then you vanish? What's the matter? Are you afraid of me now? Teehee. Big old veteran afraid of little old me? Nearly a foot taller than I am, almost double my weight, and here you are afraid of little old me. Teehee. Oh, my. I wonder what the rest of your wrestling friends will say about this? Will they tease you for being weak? Will they growl and sneer at you? Or, will they, like you, realise that Ginger is just better than you are and be ok with it? Cos, that's the truth, you're not as good as I am. Do you have wrestling buddies?

I mean, you should, right? You've been in the business for ever, you should have made a few friends through the years? Yet, where are they? Even Trax has friends, and no one likes him. Not even me. You don't talk about any friends, you just go on about your name a lot. Are you afraid you'll forget your name? Is that it? I don't have that problem, but George, that's my brother, tells me that I'm illiterate a lot. I got no idea what that means, but he keeps telling me it. I guess if I can recall my name, and you can't you're probably worse than illiterate. Maybe you've got that disease that makes you forget a lot of stuff? I don't know what it's called, but it seems like you got it.

Travis, do you think I'm pretty? Am I too pretty for you? Is that why you got quiet? Not used to a pretty girl talking to you, or about you? I guess I get it. If I looked like Garbanzo's mum, I'd be shocked when pretty people spoke to me as well. That's not a jab at you, just something I noticed. You're not very pretty, and it'd surprise me if anyone ever found you attractive. You kind of look homeless, Travis. Are you a homeless? Is that why you're so angry? Because wrestling is the only thing in you life besides cardboard boxes and waiting in line for soup? Why are you a homeless? Did something happen with your mum and you? Is it that she doesn't want you around anymore because you refused to shower? That happened to George when he were 8.

Mum had to sit him down and chat with him about soap. Remind him we ain't Irish. But, you is, isn't you? You're an Irish bloke, that's what you kept bragging to Joey Menos about, like it's something to be proud of. Your family came from a tiny island a long time ago, and now you can brag to people about where someone else walked. Well, I'm Scottish, and my family lived here since the days of Wallace, do I get to brag about that? No, because that would be silly and petty. I'm not that childish, but I guess you are. I'm sorry, do you need a hug to make up for the idea that someone might have not known your family history?



Eric and I are sitting in my kitchen at the table. I made us some mince and tatties for lunch. We finished eating, and are just sitting there trying to make things less awkward. I'm in a pink Hello Kitty shirt and some jean trousers. Eric's wearing a nice blue polo shirt and some khaki trousers. He looks lovely, and I'm rather adorable myself if I do say so. I lay arms down on top of each other, and slide my head down onto them. I'm murmuring, when I talk.

Are you really married?

He laughs at me.

Oh, god no. I'm single.

I don't feel so terrible.

But you're gay, aren't you?

I see that he cocks his head, I'm now trying to bury my head into my arms more. I'm so embarrassed.

What do you think?

I hear a chair scoot back, and then listen for the foot steps. I feet a hand on my back.

Well, I guess not. But, I don't know.

He kisses me on the back of the neck. I melt. No! This would be a mistake.

Oh, we can't do that again.

He kisses me on the back of the neck again. I'm melting more. I'm about to make a mistake I can tell. His hand strokes my cheek, and I turn to look up at him. He leans down and kisses me on the lips. Yup, I'm making a mistake. I kiss him back, and it's intense. I'm standing up, and going for his belt. He's got my jeans open, and they're falling. His fall down as well, and he picks me up. Oh, god, this feels so good. I wrap my legs around him, and he keeps thrusting. We're turning, and hes got me against the wall. Oh my god. This is a terrible mistake, but it feels so good. Oh, god. This is exactly what I needed.

He finishes, and sets me down. As I pull up my knickers and trousers I start to feel guilty. I wonder if he feels that as well.

That shouldn't happen again.

He chuckles as I try and get my knickers up. I must look silly doing this, I feel silly doing it.

Still think I'm gay? Or, do you need another demonstration?

N-n-n-no. I mean it, I can't do that again. It isn't right.

Why not? It's just sex. You're not over your boyfriend, but you needed something to relieve the stress. Right?

I guess he's right. I guess I shouldn't feel bad for this. But, I don't know. I feel like I'm cheating on Johnny.



Whoops, it looks like you responded to my video since I recorded that last bit. I'm gonna leave it in and just add some new stuff then piece em together. Is that ok? I guess I got confused thinking you was a good guy cos your official roster page on the XWF website has you listed as a face, which is supposed to be a good guy. Or, maybe you got confused on what those terms meant and you thought they was asking what you use to eat? I don't know. You do have the sickness where you forget your name a lot, so it's possible. Whoopsie. Oh wells, that's your mistake.

I'm glad to hear that you supposedly talked to your brother today, but I don't believe you. Homeless people don't have mobiles to give people rings with. Come on, Travis, don't lie to me about something so trivial. Did you speak to a fire hydrant and think it was your brother? Or, is it a fire hydrant that you curl up with and treat like a brother? Do you need a new warm blanket? Is it cold on your street corner? I can also get you a razor to shave with if you like? You know what? No, I'll just send you some money and you can buy it yourself. But, you'll probably just spend it all on drugs. I think that's why you and your mum had the falling out in the first place. Drugs and your refusal to shower.

Branden Harvey doesn't have parents either? Neato. Both of mine died, and my brother is in a wheelchair, and my boyfriend died. Since you wanted to talk about his tragedy, I guess you were interested in seeing how sad my life has been as well. Plus, I'm bald. Yup, bald. This cute little face comes with a freshly shaved head. I don't know, you're a forgetful delusional person. Maybe you thought by telling me someone else has a sad life you thought it'd cheer me up enough to where I won't hurt you too much in our match. That's not how these things go, though. I hope you understand. But, you probably don't. That brain thing that I have to keep bringing up so you understand what's going on.

I'm glad you want me to know so much about you, but honestly? I don't want to know that much. You're not interesting, and your whole wrestling career doesn't impress me. Actually, it makes me sad. I think you shouldn't have to keep reminding us of your time in places if you were worth anything. But, since you can't stop talking about it, and how about how you're not successful here it means that you never were anything special, and you'll never be anything special. Heck, the only reason you're not the show opener is because of me. If it were just you and Joey no one would ever see this match happen. You'd be in the same spot you were in last week, and will probably be in every other week after this. Because, Travis, you're not anything special. You're just another sad old bloke close to retiring who never went anywhere and hopes the XWF will change that. It won't.

Should we even believe that you're going to do anything special in the match, or will you use your old wrestling injuries as an excuse? Or, will it be that illness you got? Will you forget you're in a match with me, and walk off to eat pudding in the back? I bet it's the one where you walk off like the sad old grandpa you are. And then you'll make some ridiculous claim of being good enough to compete for anything here. Cos every nobody who wants to be someone tough comes in and talks trash on how they can dominate and be our biggest baddest champion. None of them make it, but they all claim it. Me, though? I don't want these shots, but I keep getting them, and 2 times outta 3? I win em. Because Ginger's just that good. But Travis and Joey? They're just bottom of the barrel nobodies wasting my time. That's why I didn't bother to talk to you for so long, you simply aren't worth my time.

<3 Gator <3