Let's talk about hope spots. Familiar with the term, Nico? You really should be, since you found yourself dead in the middle of one when you decided to face me again after beating me once.
I'm guessing you aren't, though.
So let me fill you in.
You won. You beat the certified legend Luca Arzegotti. Threw him right into the fire and everything. Sure, that Luca boy could always bellyache about how you didn't pin him and thus it wasn't really a decisive victory, but that didn't matter. The opinion of a bitter sore loser never matters. Regardless, all it took was a few harsh words from the loser of the match to spark you up once more. Ready, willing, and able to beat Luca a second time. After all, he must really be slipping if he lost to you in the first place, amirite?
Now, let me ask you a question, since I'm sure you've been paying attention.
What did Luca do a couple days after this loss? After getting burned by you?
Fuck shit up is what he did. Despite his burns, despite Maverick getting himself disqualified in an attempt at injuring dat Luca boy, despite facing off against the current Intercontinental Champion...
Luca did what he does best.
He fucked shit up.
A return to form, if you will. The classic Luca style of effortlessly embarrassing the roster with every breath. Destroying the credibility of those across from him with each oddball decision.
Hell, I could show up wearing a fucking dress and be more over as an ambassador to the androgynous crowd than your fucking partner, Nico. And I'd still be able to stomp on the back of your head until I snap your fucking neck.
See, there's the catch. The kicker.
You have the win over me, and you think that's gonna help you. You think you're gonna have the psychological advantage over me all because you tossed me into some fire. That I'm scared of your ability to follow the rules of a ridiculous gimmick match?
Luca, concerned about a loss?
Luca, the guy who made his career out of throwing matches on a whim, coasting by on the image of the perennial underachiever? The guy who could've been Universal Champ a billion times over if only he cared enough. If only he didn't decide to spend his days getting high and making fun of #fuccbois. If only he spent half the time he spends killing scrubs doing something productive like giving a shit.
If you think that loss has fazed me in any way, you're as fucking as your wife's (who just so happens to have the same first name as your tag partner #mostawkwardthreesome) tits are big. Now that, my friend, is a fucking accomplishment. Put that shit on your resume under your fantastic, against all odds win over me.
I'd hire ya.
Right, hope spots.
You're the hero here, Nico. You temporarily bested the big bad villain and you're looking to deliver that #deathblow.
But then that big bad villain hops right back up and fucking #rekts #shrekts #murkts you faster than you can gasp in shock.
Because that's what the pros do, Nico.
Do you know what pros don't do, Nico?
They don't fucking bury themselves when they try to rub salt in the wound. Of course you do that shit you fucking amateur. Right, I'm totally suffering a fall from grace, because that's what you say when you want to legitimize a win. You dense motherfuc-- that's the shit your next opponent says to undermine your win over a legend.
Gah, I feel like an old man, reminiscing on the days when people knew how to fucking spit that hot fire.
At least there's Star, who was created in a lab to spit hot fire. Sure, if it's part of her synthetic robot programming to spit that shit it isn't much of an accomplishment but hey, I'll take what I can get.
Speaking of taking what I can get, hey Ophelia. The one with the Satanist's last name, not the one with the terrorist's last name. Jesus you're both so fucking edgy.
Anyway, after I get done kicking your hubby in the chest until his fucking ribs break.
After I get done stomping the limp-wristed, squeaky voiced little 's vocal cords into dust.
After I fuck his shit up the way I fuck everyone's shit up, what say I hit you up and show a real man, get you away from all that edgy Satanist bullshit.
Just a thought.
#MistaStealYoGirl
Out in the Desert (redux)
Hey less important Ophelia! Terrorist one. :)
Oh come on, don't give me that look! ^_^
You should cool off, Ophelia. Get it? Because you're angry. =^.^=
Oh my fucking god can the fucking writing the transcripts to my promos stop putting those stupid fucking faces at the end of everything I say? They get it you fuck, I'm going after McWhatTheFuckIsThisCuntEvenGoingFor, you don't need to bash it into everyone's fucking skulls. -_-
I know I have the subtlety of a fucking sledgehammer to the face. That's my fucking aesthetic. >:(
Fuck you bro. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I know I'm just stalling because I really don't even want to deal with this . I mean, seriously, what can I even say to her/him/her again/are you sure it's a dude? That's more Rebel's department to be honest, and she's already done and ended that poor fool's career a hunna times over so what else is there for me to say that won't just be adding unnecessary nails to the coffin? ¯\_ツ_/¯
Seriously, life's gone and beat this dude down for real. Dude talks about mediocrity infecting the XWF or some shit like that when he's walkin' around fuckin' Winless in Seattle over here. The only way this fuccboi/gurl/none of the above even managed to claw his/her/its way out of the fucking lower card is because my name's tied to him/her/it like someone took the time to put sprinkles on a fucking turd that was bad touching another turd. ಠ_ಠ
But like, you definitely got a shot of winning this match Ophelia Terrorist Surname. For sure. You and your #partnerinfuccboiery are the underdogs in a cheesy sports movie. Star and I are the villainous favorites, who look down on you unfairly and don't regard you as legitimate competition despite your obvious skill. That's canon now. ( ◔ ‿ ◔ )
You'll definitely overcome the odds in the last stretch, narrowly eking out that victory in the final moments after our hubris catches up with us-- pffffffft hahaha yeah that shit isn't happening. (⌐■_■)
Nah, face it Edge Squad. This ain't no fucking movie and you're not the plucky underdogs. You're the fucking duo that decided it'd be a good idea to throw yourselves to the wolves. No amount of poorly talking shit or claiming you're rising above #NORMALOCRACY (whatever the fuck that is) will save you. You're going to fall to the mat when Rebel and I hit you. :)
You're gonna lose, in summation. You're fucked, in even more summation. You never had a chance. ᕙ( ✧ ͟ل͜ ✧ )ᕗ
Don't be sad, you came close! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
L-O-L JK. ( ͡° ‿‿ ͡° )
But you tried your hardest and I'm sure that counts for something in the minds of the fans that are already on your side. How many of those are there? Oh, right. Zero. ¯\_ ᵔ ツ ᵔ _/¯
as your wife's (who just so happens to have the same first name as your tag partner #mostawkwardthreesome) tits are big. Now that, my friend, is a fucking accomplishment. Put that shit on your resume under your fantastic, against all odds win over me. ![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://media.giphy.com/media/9rAMt7eTzYnxS/giphy.gif)
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