Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **02-14-2016, 09:16 AM**

Hello, America. Hello, XWF.

Next weekend I will be teaming up with a group of real headrockers, real slam dancing, bone busting, skin flensing, Xtreme hitters. As such, my pledge to you, my teammates, and to you, the people, is I will in turn deliver my share of the winnings to the rest of the team, and as the new Xtreme Champion I will bring in a bona-fide age of Xtreme back to the XWF, because namby pamby sissy boys are pathetic champions.

Ho, hey, that's right XWF. Your lame duck pussy boy Xtreme champion is getting pinned and going down at Shove-It, all while paying out to LeStrange.

#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick · **02-14-2016, 10:30 AM**

You're gonna beat Austin up and pin him Robbie?

Just like you did last time?

Eat a dick man, you're terrible.

**Vincent Lane** · **02-14-2016, 11:14 AM**

Robbie, that's cool man. I hope your dreams come true and you win the X for #TeamLoverboy next week, I really do.

I mean, it's unlikely, because Austin is, like, the second best wrestler in the XWF... but funny things happen, right?

Oh, and plus I'm i the match... so I mean it's probably like a 99% lock that I do the pinning the winning, but whatever man, I'm sure you'll do fine.

Just be in ring shape, okay? Like, for real. No more racks of lamb or bottomless bloomin' onions, okay? Pinkie swear?

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **02-14-2016, 02:23 PM**

enjoy lying on your back

St. Diabolicus · **02-14-2016, 07:26 PM**

Hello filth. Hello you festering c......I'll leave this stuff to Bourbon. Much to my dismay, a reunion with an old ally is on the horizon. This new body of mine should bring quite the devastion I am hoping for.

Shame I should stray from the path of putrification and join the likes of Lane and Bourbon. A minor setback. But if Bourbon truly believes he getting ahead of me and taking back the Xtreme Championship, he is gravely mistaken.

**Vincent Lane** · **02-14-2016, 09:39 PM**

LeStrange, shut the fuck up.

Can we trade this fucktard for Ghost Tank?

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **02-15-2016, 03:02 PM**

Don't worry, Vinnie, the stories of my training regimen and diet are highly exaggerated. I know how crazy it can seem, this big ole' body rumblin' in a ring on a high octane, scientific diet. Ooh, maybe you could give me some diet tips, that way I could do enough drugs to kill an elephant and still somehow manage to piss in a toilet.

Oops, sorry, you missed the toilet when you came to my dojo. Then a dog ran in and lapped it up. I don't even own a dog, Vinnie, what were you on?

Luca's asshole is so loose he can bend over at a train track and make the Orient Express disappear. Oh, sorry, Luca, you were saying something about me eating too?

#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick · (02-16-2016)

Robbie's so insecure with his sexuality he watches gay porn just to call the performers

between sobs.

Oh, sorry, Robbie, you were saying something about me being gay so you can convince yourself your wet dreams involving me have even the slightest chance of happening in the real world?

Dead that queer shit fat boy, and hop on a fuckin' treadmill before you lose both your feet to Diabetes.

Then go and fail spectacularly at pinning Yung Fern for the title, convincing other people to successfully pin Yung Fern for the title, and fuck it anything else involving you and pinning Yung Fern for the title you

.

Shit, maybe read a book on the treadmill. Get some of that gut mass in-between your fuckin' ears.

Mason Prince · **02-15-2016, 03:15 PM**

#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick · (02-15-2016)

Robbie over here like

[Image: UXNw2gS.gif]

Imma beat you up Luca!!!

Memewhile I'm just like

[Image: _NFXlu.gif]

L-O-L come at me bro.

**02-15-2016, 05:31 PM**

daaaaamn thats my boy

thats my boy!

robbies so fat his rolling chair has flat tires

AAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HES FAT!

St. Diabolicus · **02-15-2016, 06:13 PM**

Stepping up and doing the unthinkable, LeStrange comes to Bourbon's side.

You tread on murky waters and come Shove-It, all these words that come flying out of your mouth are gonna u-turn and overload your prison stretched asshole. I'm on your team whether yoy like it or not so quit your bitching. The great and legendary Vinnie Lane is nervous about losing because of me.

Stop your complaing, embrace the oppurtunity of making yourself greater by giving this monster a clear direction and help mold it into a force to be wreckoned with. Hell, here's a sweet deal for ya. I prove my worth and we win, you get me, as backup, bodyguard, errand boy, you name it. We lose, I do XWF the greatest favor and leave. And believe me, after what Carnage said, i have a hard on to relocate his eyes to where his tonsils are/were so he can have a better view of me kicking his teeth down his throat.

He walks up to Bourbon and unzips his hoodie and reveals a stitched up Dope Show shirt.

[/color]It's on.

Mason Prince · **02-15-2016, 09:19 PM**

LeFuckFace Said:I do XWF the greatest favor and leave

"That's all anyone needed to hear. You can stop talking now, Clown-For-Brains."

[Image: DD4lNkA.gif]

Mr Killjoy · (02-16-2016)

LeStrange, why are you still here?

I'm genuinally curious, why the fuck are you still lurking around when you proved your chromosomes- which are meant to be XY- are in actuality XX, because you're really nothing but a hormonal bitch that looks somewhat like a man who suffers from gynecomastia who cries when someone says something too personal and runs to management to complain and gets himself pulled out of matches on purpose.

Yeah thats right... I'm calling Tyrone "prohibting" you from competing in our match horseshit, staged, you WANTED to get pulled out the match because you knew I was gunning for you and looking to fucking destroy you, poor Fontanna, taking the pin that was meant for you, for shame.

I'm almost tempted to come hunt you down and take your ass out before the Shove It match, although I would HATE to leave Lane a bitch down.

Smirks.

Although... I feel like I'd be doing him a favor, a LeStrange-less three man team would be better than a four man team with you on it, fucking scrub.I'm going to enjoy watching you get eliminated first...but whose to say I'll just be watching? Who that mystery partner is on Fernando's team could be ANYONES guess. Winks

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **02-15-2016, 11:52 PM**

Hiya Trax! I'll bring my Paypal info, bud, you can pay me that way. I do take credit cards, by the way.

LeStrange, I want you to come in Trax's burrito. I will pay you 5k Xbux to come in a burrito and make Trax eat it after you pin him at the show, unless he's just talking out his ass.

Welcome back to the Show, stud, some of us never left. Now put your big boy fucking boots on and get to stomping, and masturbating, and jizzing in a burrito, like the Dope I know you are, and then force feed it to Trax on live XWF broadcast.

Mr Killjoy · **02-16-2016, 12:09 AM**

(02-15-2016, 11:52 PM)Robbie Bourbon Said: Hiya Trax! I'll bring my Paypal info, bud, you can pay me that way. I do take credit cards, by the way.

LeStrange, I want you to come in Trax's burrito. I will pay you 5k Xbux to come in a burrito and make Trax eat it after you pin him at the show, unless he's just talking out his ass.

Welcome back to the Show, stud, some of us never left. Now put your big boy fucking boots on and get to stomping, and masturbating, and jizzing in a burrito, like the Dope I know you are, and then force feed it to Trax on live XWF broadcast.

I'll shove that Burrito up LeStrange's vagina then shove your gargantuan head up there and make you eat it, tubby.

Besides, even if I AM bluffing and not really in the match, me just insinuating I MAY be in the match is most likely more than enough to make LeStrange pull out, which is what his crackhead father should of done when pumping his mother who is also his aunt for the reasonable price of $1 an hour. Unfortunately though, LeStrange's father blew his load inside the whore harder than you blow title shot opportunities and here we are.

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · (02-16-2016)

LeStrange, hurry on up, I can hear this guy's mouth watering. He's so hungry he's thinking I blow title opportunities. You blew your shot at beating Lane harder than when your father blew his load into your mother, whom he was having sex with for an extra dose or seven down at the methadone clinic to get help coming off that heroin she was sucking five dicks a day to pay for, along with having something to eat and somewhere to sleep occasionally. You should have stayed in the family business. You know, banging addicts with shit-stained panties and polluting the world with bastard children, not this whole fighting bloodsport thing.

Go ask your mom, Trax, she'll explain the techniques to swallow LeStrange's daddy goop when mixed with shredded beef, rice, beans, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cheese, ghost pepper, and cilantro and wrapped in a warm tortilla.

Mr Killjoy · **02-16-2016, 01:53 AM**

(02-16-2016, 12:33 AM)Robbie Bourbon Said: LeStrange, hurry on up, I can hear this guy's mouth watering. He's so hungry he's thinking I blow title opportunities. You blew your shot at beating Lane harder than when your father blew his load into your mother, whom he was having sex with for an extra dose or seven down at the methadone clinic to get help coming off that heroin she was sucking five dicks a day to pay for, along with having something to eat and somewhere to sleep occasionally. You should have stayed in the family business. You know, banging addicts with shit-stained panties and polluting the world with bastard children, not this whole fighting bloodsport thing.

Go ask your mom, Trax, she'll explain the techniques to swallow LeStrange's daddy goop when mixed with shredded beef, rice, beans, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cheese, ghost pepper, and cilantro and wrapped in a warm tortilla.

YOU trying to rib ME for losing the UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP, a title you've never held, to Lane, a guy you, unlike me, could never hope to beat. Thats rich, you're the same guy that got pissed off with me because I didn't choose you to be my partner to hold the tag team titles, a title you didn't deserve to hold because you flopped and got eliminated in the contender match fair and square, please save the excuses you used before, I don't want to hear them.

At least I can say I've been Universal Champion and have main evented Pay Per Views here and will so again, something you can't and will never be able to say, I mean, you've had more chances than most to be a champion here and you fucked up every single one.

You had an intercontinental title shot against Gamer Girl, did you win though?

You've had TWO tag team title shots, did you win either though?

You've tried pinning Fernando for the X-Treme title more than anyone else, have you won though?

I can't remember if you've ever had a Hart title shot, but if you had it means you lost, and if you haven't well you'd probably lose anyway, Peters actually been on a roll as of late.

And you most certainly wouldn't win a Universal title match, considering you can't beat any of the lesser champions for their lesser championships but go ahead, if you're so good, give it a shot, challenge Lane for the title.

[INSERT BOURBON'S EXCUSES AS TO WHY HE DOESN'T WANT TO CHALLENGE FOR THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP IN THE NEAR FUTURE HERE]

Thats what I thought.

Face it, you went from " debated superstar of the month" and "future main eventer" to "Lost In The Shuffle" and "Fixed Mid carder" real quick. How tragic.

Trax shakes his head and laughs, before walking off not interested in hearing any rebuttal Bourbon wants to pull out his ass.

St. Diabolicus · **02-16-2016, 07:01 AM**

LeStrange walks out of a room with a burrito, ready to split.

Hope your hungry Trax, this will keep you full like your momma. By the way, didnt I see her at the Harbor yesterday, daring all the fisherman to "catch" what was in her waters?

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **02-16-2016, 09:15 AM**

(02-16-2016, 01:53 AM)So scared he turned his hair into life saving rope Said: YOU trying to rib ME for losing the UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP,

Yep, that's what I did. How much methadone was your mother on, dude, you had trouble grasping the fact you went from fighting Lane for the belt to, well, who exactly?

Oh yeah, the guy you tried to scare off because he pinned you for the Xtreme Title and currently is holding a burrito with his sperm in it. 'Atta boy, LeStrange, you're Dope.

St. Diabolicus · (02-17-2016)

Not my proudest moment.

Mr Killjoy · **02-17-2016, 02:12 PM**

LeStrange. Bourbon. Just...just shut up, both of you. Both of you give me a headache, which is the most amount of pain either of you have or will ever inflict on me, considering neither of you fuckwards can touch me in the ring. Bourbon, you're so mediocre that Lane feels the need to TRAIN you to help "tighten your game" as he put it in his promo...how do you feel?

As for you LeStrange, you'll no longer be garnering any type of emotion out of me, other than pure indifference, no more anger, no pity, you're equally deserving of both...but won't be receiving either. What I will give you, is a thought, how does it feel LeStrange... to suck so bad that your Shove It team leader has publicly expressed, several times, that he wants nothing to do with you and he was even willing to go as far as to trade you for a either a retired failed wrestler in Ghost Tank, or a rookie nut job hes never even HEARD of in Carnage? I'm genuinally curious to know, how do you feel? Knowing you're that untalented and disliked, I know how sensitive you are so I can only assume it feels kinda bad?

Too bad.

Trax shrugs and walks off.

St. Diabolicus · **02-17-2016, 02:17 PM**

Probably the same as knowing you can only obtain a championship throug a briefcase and an unsuspecting victim only to choke harder than Ron Jeremy's co-star in the rematch.

Mr Killjoy · **02-17-2016, 02:30 PM**

(02-17-2016, 02:17 PM)LeStrange Said: Probably the same as knowing you can only obtain a championship throug a briefcase and an unsuspecting victim only to choke harder than Ron Jeremy's co-star in the rematch.

Ohhhh you got me, despite the fact I won both the X-Treme and Tag Team championships in a match, with that said I held the X-Treme title for 6 weeks EARNING me that briefcase... how did you win your ONLY championship again? Did you beat me in a match to do it? Nope.Either face me in a match, or go pester someone else.

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **02-17-2016, 02:41 PM**

Learn from Lane? Shit, stud, there's something to learn from everyone. What'd he teach you, Trax?

Imagine what you're gonna know if you ever stop slackin, shut your fucking mouth, and come see me in my office between the ropes at Warfare.

Mr Killjoy · **02-17-2016, 02:47 PM**

Slacking..hmmm coming from the guy who hasn't won a championship or beat anybody noteworthy when he's been here near enough as long as I have, OK then.

Bourbon, please...you're the one who usually runs his mouth and then gets beat...not me. I'd happily face you or anyone, and we'll go real soon, I promise. For now, try NOT embarrassing yourself at Shove It? OK pumpkin? I'll be sure to be watching.

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **02-17-2016, 03:09 PM**

No, you god damned

. Slacking as in being lazy. Trax is too lazy to get off his ass to fight me, so he's just going to talk about his past.

Damn stud, it was less than a month ago you were a contender. What, are you ready for a porch, some nice cold lemonade, and a rocking chair to talk about your fucking glory days like some wise old man?

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · (02-19-2016)

Trax ducking challenges like he's Peter Gilmour, wow.

Mr Killjoy · **02-17-2016, 03:16 PM**

Ha, getting riled up are we? I just said we'll have a match, you're clearly eager to get your trap silenced, so whatever, I'll face you the Warfare after the second Shove It weekend.

Glory days? Man, I'm only 24 and have been here for just over 6 months, I'm not even in my PRIME yet, my glory days are still on the horizon. No matter how bad you're going to attempt to prevent that, I'm sure.

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **02-17-2016, 03:31 PM**

Since when is Robbie Bourbon NOT hyped, NOT riled up, and NOT ready to tear the god damned house down, Trax?

Shit, I bet if you asked 10 different people to describe me, you'd get 10 different answers.

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **02-17-2016, 03:51 PM**

Oh, and this is from the hip, just to thrill, putting a little paint on and asking Carnage in the mirror his opinion really doesn't count.

And people accuse me of having an identity crisis.

Pop pop, motherfucker.

Mr Killjoy · **02-19-2016, 05:03 AM**

Was that directed at me? Nobody knows what that screwball Carnage looks like under that facepaint, but considering the fact I don't have the power to change my skin color, accent or height, and considering the fact we where both seen and interacted at Lanes party, its obviously not me, are you actually TRYING to look

? All that Mountain Dew has fizzled your head man.

Trying to "shoot" but you missed me so much I thought your closure was going to be a hug, embarrassing.

By the way "Pop" is the exact sound that would be heard if someone was to take a pin to your massive gut, you goddamn walking talking hot air balloon, ask ten people about you? I think you overestimate how many people actually have an OPINION about you but whatever, peace out and see you soon.

Trax throws up some deuces and smiles before walking off.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Bourbon's Shove-It Pledge
Author	Message