.............Jenny turned off the ninja blender.

The concoction inside the plastic tube was an awful looking mix of red and brown, a bit chunky but also disgustingly smooth. Popping off the top and drinking it right from the container, audible gulps as the odd colored partially chunky liquid slid down her throat and finishing with a loud "AHHH", she set the container down and wiped her face. The gross liquid now mixed with her black lipstick and off-white fascial makeup, making her look like a rabid racoon with herpes sores.

She set the empty plastic cylinder down and picked up her X-Title, putting it over her shoulder.

"You knowwwwwwwwwwww.......................

Sarah makes a solid point. Not only would 90 percent of America rather watch golf on mute than listen to a Raion Kido promo, but he HAS had some rather easy bookings as of late, no? He HAS had some matches that you give to the new comers to get their feet wet, not a former Universal Champion with a Win-Loss record better than the 90's Chicago Bulls. He has his work cut out for him in round one as the wheel has determined. Praise be. But since we all have to sit here and watch this promo battle unfold (honestly, it's like watching Battleship in a nursing home--some entertainment, some chaos and confusion, some nasty words, a whole lot of snooze enducing anime garb) with a 20somethinggoingon13 using words that should get a Dove bar to her tongue and the XWF's resident stucco wall, a little ideaaarrr came to this head of mine.

Hear me out.

I have to put my body on the line every single week. No matter what match I have, what show, what day of the week, hour of the day or what fucking timezone, my belt is on the line. I don't have a choice in the matter. I can't take a week off. I have to be better at all times.

Sarah Lacklan is a former champ and a staple of the XWF community. She's also hilarious, and well, you know, us women have to stick together! Raion Kido has the golden goose in his back pocket and still refuses to make it shit the golden egg. He has a chance to break the moral fibers that make him who he is and cash in that briefcase on Mark Flynn. I mean....we know Raion can't beat him, he's proven that, so what is he waiting for?

Is he waiting for his babynuts to drop and get the slightest twinge of public hair before making the move that could forever change his career? Or does he even have nuts?

We KNOW Sarah has nuts. Big saggy elephant nuts. We KNOW she would use the briefcase the way it is designed to be used. We also KNOW that she would totes tell us ALLL ABOUT IT and would be rather insufferable for a couple weeks (months). But at least it would be a whole hell of a lot more then whatever it is you are doing.

Think about it, Mark Flynn versus Sarah Lacklan for the Universal Championship….could be MATCH OF THE YEAR……or or or or maybe she cashes in on Flynn? I know that’s a weird concept to you.

But you're all high and mighty, constantly on the moral soapbox, preaching to everyone about how small and dingy their soapbox is compared to yours. Why don't you prove you're as good as you say? Why don't you put that briefcase on the line in Round 1? Ya know, make your loss worth something?"