"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave but not our hearts."



Clive, my Godfather who I was staying with at the moment, handed me a book of photographs. On the front of it there was a picture of Blaine, my uncle, and my Father, Seth, standing next to each other with grins on their face. Underneath there was italic writing that said “The Davids Household”.

I guess this proved that he really was my Godfather. Then I thought back through my life in recent years. I looked out upon the rain that slowly drizzled from the heavens. An aura of nostalgia rushed through my veins and a tear trickled down my face.

My father, the one I had murdered in order to survive. The one I had butchered in order to avenge my uncle who was more of a Dad to me than my actual father ever was. All because I killed my Mum as I entered this world. Labelled a murderer from the day that I was born.

If it was not for Blaine I would have burnt to ash along with the house my family had previously lived in. Now where were my brothers? One of them was dead. Two of them were missing. My mother, dead at my hands. My dad, dead my hands. I was never meant to have a home. I was never meant to be happy. Here I stand among the dust, a proud man who destroyed everything in order to continue to live. Did that make me evil? No. My brain made me evil when I was younger. The way I butchered children because of my state of mind. Was it in my genes? Was it nurture over nature? Was it destiny? All I know is that it has led to this point now. This point where everything I ever held dear is lost.

Then I thought of my best friend Mark and how he betrayed me. I thought of Lacey and how Mark tainted her. She was pure.

I turned over the front cover to see my Father at his wedding dance with my Mum. They both looked so happy. Seth had long messy and hair just like me before he got old and grey. My Mum had the most dazzling of smiles. My Father was a good man. Once. The next page was also from the wedding, but it was Clive, Seth and Blaine. They were suited up and they were dancing to something ridiculous it seemed.

There were a series of photos from the wedding and of my brothers. There were none of me with my parents though, obviously.

My life had crumbled.

Following the incident, where my Father went mental and set my house alight while I was still in it and ran off with my brothers, there were some photos of the burnt house.

Clive stepped behind me, a tear trickled down his face.

“A day doesn’t go by where I don’t miss them you know. Even after what he did. I know it’s not right but he was my best friend. That house, filled with memories. We practically grew up there. Look at it here,” he grabbed me by the shoulder with a sad smile on his face.

I did not say a word.

Nothing but dust and ash had survived. And me. Thanks to Blaine.

The next photo was Blaine holding me, a worried tear glistened on his cheek. Then there were photos of Clive and Blaine playing with me at Blaine’s old home.

I wonder what he thinks of me. I wonder what he thinks of what I have become.

Blaine and Stewart are up there looking down on me somewhere.

You might wonder why I am telling you this. Well, this week I return to where it all begun. Wednesday Night Warfare. It has been so long since I have fought on Warfare. In fact, the last time I was on Warfare I became the Universal Champion. I want you to understand just how much I have been through. It’s been almost thirty months since I made my debut here. A lot can happen in that time. Too much.

The final photograph in the book was a photo of me about five years old cuddling Blaine who was down on one knee.

Men like him suffer above while I am down here breathing the air that he deserves. I murdered people. I killed people. What did he ever do? He only did what was right, always.

That’s why I know that this world is an evil place. A tortuous place that shows no mercy, no forgiveness.

I slammed the book shut and walked away from Clive, staring out into the rain. I pressed my cold hand against the sleek glass and watched each drop fall from the sky. Every single droplet contained a separate memory that delighted me, tortured me, haunted me, made me.

When you’re gone for so long, people begin to forget who you are. THAT is why I have to highlight what has happened. The people who I love may have forgotten why I am here. Why I am this way. Why I did what I did. It was not for the benefit of me. It was not for the benefit of others. I did what I did because my brain told me that it was a good idea. That those people deserved what they got. They deserved the suffering, the tortures, the evil, the pain, the death. The truth is. No one deserves that… I would know better than most.]

I stepped out into the garden and looked up at the perfect grey clouds. They were dark but fluffy. The rain trickled down into my beard yet as I looked up I smiled. My tears of joy conjoined with the rain.

Ambrose Helios stepped out into the garden.

“You know man, I often wonder if my police partner looks down on me too. It’s all good he would say. People die, people live, people get hurt, war happens, shit happens but all we have is this. We have these moments to share with those we love or those we do not even know. In the end though, he is right. Through life you can look back and be sad. Or you can look back with pride at what you have achieved. You can enjoy each and every moment that happens. Laugh and smile and fight what you believe in. Make a difference to this world so that those that come after you can live in happiness as well. When all is said and done, all we have is eternal blackness. Yes it may make even the happiest of us worry. That’s why people cling onto faith and religion. The chances are, there’s nothing. Nothing but eternal sleep without the dreaming. Without the consciousness or the thoughts. But as your eyes are about to close for the final time, you should smile. Smile and think of the good times. Do not think of the anguish you have put onto other people. Think of the times you laughed. Think of the times you helped others. Those are the memories that count because at the end that’s all we have. That and for those who can find it, love. I know it’s deep man and you probably stopped listening to this a while ago, but it’s all the truth. Those who ever hear these words know it deep down, but they’ll always hope they can come back as another human being, an animal, an entity of some sort, a ghost, or even that they can come back in a new world. We know different Steve. So make the most of what you have. Do what you do best. Turn this world into your home once again. Be reborn from the dust that surrounds you and survive. That’s what you do. Survive.”

I looked up at Ambrose as he finished speaking and I smiled. He smiled back. I needed to hear all of that. Maybe it would mean nothing to most people but I understood every word. I felt every word. He was right.

“I suppose it’s time I forget about the past. I forget about the failures. It’s time to move on,” I whispered.

“It is indeed. Clive wants you here, I want you here. This is your home now Steve. You need time to settle but…”

“No. This is my home. I know that now. At least it is one of my homes.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll be going home next Wednesday.”

“You mean…?”

“Warfare. This wrestling career is one of the best things that has happened to me. It has allowed me to be me. It has allowed me to say the things I cannot say. It has allowed me to dream things I would never have dreamed. That’s why that federation means the world to me. It’s not just a place where people compete. It’s where friendships are made. It’s where rivalries unfold. It is where the creators get to create. Dancing around that ring leaves blood, sweat and tears but I would not have it any other way.”

“Oh I know. I may have only competed in two matches there but I competed with every bone I have in my body.”

“To some it might be a place to get away from reality. To others perhaps it’s just a chance to get to fight. To me, well to me it feels like home and boy have I missed smashing some fucking skulls.”

“Easy now, you already lost one match.”

“Don’t Ambrose, you know what happened in that match. Glisten fucked it like he fucks hairless donkeys. That’s what happened. The guy’s not only a creep, he’s also a spoil sport. One day I will pin him again, he deserves it.”

“Ah I see you’re booked in against an old favourite.”

“I’m afraid I’m not quite sure who Dominic Chambers is, but Peter Gilmour… Well let’s just say we have some history to say the least. He’s probably still seeking revenge after I took his Xtreme Championship from him. That right there is a career highlight. Three against me and I overcame the odds. Moments like that make this federation the best in the world. You simply couldn’t write it.”

I grinned as I looked up at the clouds and thought of Blaine and Lacey and Mark and Stewart and Seth and countless others. I’ve made a home.

3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion