Loverboy yawns and wakes up from his four day long nap, then sees Joel snoring on top of him and kicks out with authority!

Joel what the fuck are you doing, dude? You're words are so incoherent you put me into a dreamlike trance and I nearly slipped into a coma... or... wait a minute... did you roofie me, dude?? Are you trying to get your little worthless boner into my butthole and become Insider Joel???

Fat chance, man. My asshole is hermetically sealed and has an airlock. No way a shit-for-brains wannabe like you is even getting a finger into MY pooper. Freak.

I don't... I don't really even know what you might be talking about half the time, man. The world went around in a 360? So it's right where it was before? Just like every day? That's how planets work, man. Jesus.

As for a bunch of paps at the fence... I'm used to the paparazzi, dude, they don't bother me anymore. When you're as famous as me, they're as much a part of life as eating and shitting - or for you, like delousing shampoo and rash cream.

Seriously, Joel. You're less important than Tommy Wish, what makes you think you have any business in the same room as me, man? You're less significant than the pubic lice on your tiny nutsack. At least they make you itch, you know? All you do is make me roll my eyes and carry on with my day wishing the United States took better care of the mentally handicapped.

By the way, a quick search of TMZ's Twitter reveals your upload of me already has 3,000 retweets and over a hundred favorites. That beats your second most-favorited tweet - the one where you promised you were going to kill yourself - by at least 50. So, just like everyone else in the XWF, you're clinging to the megastar to keep yourself relevant.

Seriously, you're all on my dick so much I'm about to cum. Good thing I've got old mop top Joel here to happily lap up any seed that spills onto the floor. Looks like you're good for something after all, Joel!

Oh, and to answer that tweet I mentioned a minute ago... you can't suffocate yourself with a paper bag, . Use one of those plastic ones you get from the pharmacy when it's your time of the month. That ought to do the trick.

That was free advice by the way, dude, no charge this time!

Later!

Loverboy walks away whistling.