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Hero Xtreme 7.9 · **04-17-2015, 09:33 PM**

NOCMM: My fellow roster mates sure are shit at promoting things, holy shit. Only old skool fans are going to buy tickets at this rate. Do I have to do all the promotional materials for this show by myself? Mr. Oaktree you have a shitty, lazy roster you should fire these stupid lazy fucks since this reflects poorly on you.

NOCMM looks at his watch.

NOCMM: Seriously, you have most unmotivated roster of all time. It has been over 48 hours since matches were annouced and I'm the only one who managed to do my fucking job so far. I want to think positively about this PROFESSOR OAK, I want to pretend that they haven't put up their promos yet because they're working on an EPIC one, but I'm not that fucking naive. There are only two main eventers on this card and one of those main eventers is fucking Maverick. None of these chumps are working on an EPIC PROMO they're just napping and shitting out their fatty foods. You may as well just hand the Intercontinental Championship to my client, he's the only person on this show that wants to be here.

NOCMM eats some non-fat yogurt. It smells like yogurt.

NOCMM: I think the reason no one gives a fuck about this card is because Oaktree's match types are fucking shit. A battle royal with a bull? That's a discount Kennel From Hell Match. Reverse Blindfold Match? That's so fucking gay. TLC? A bunch of letters, I bet that'll make an interesting match; they hit each other with the alphabet. I understand that rookies are jokes, but if I was a GM I'd give them something to work with. I may be invisible, but I'm not fucking heartless.

NOCMM shakes his head as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.

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