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Hero Xtreme 7.9 · **04-03-2015, 10:24 AM**

Quote:Well this one thinks heâ€™s a god and fucks homeless women. Heâ€™s pretty much bringing it all onto himself. I hope he wears his special helmet to the match because Iâ€™m pretty sure thatâ€™s the only thing thatâ€™s going to save him from a vegetative state once I toss his stupid ass off the scaffolding at Warfare. He wants to pretend like heâ€™s some badass veteran thatâ€™s better than all of us â€˜rookies?â€™ Thatâ€™s cool, whatever.

NOCMM: That's what Bruce Blingsteen had to say about Hero Xtreme 7.9. Yes, that's it. He's a

of few words, and he even waited until the end of his promo to say any of this. I admire his strategy. It's a smart idea, he makes his promo as boring and shitty as possible so that by the time he gets to the relevant part all the old skool fans and I are asleep.

NOCMM fucks a woman who can't afford a home which means he should ride a short bus. It's a

logic jump, but who cares. You'd have to be

to fuck someone who is ignored by white people. It doesn't matter how she became homeless or anything it's just

because it is.

NOCMM: It would be a good strategy to avoid scrutiny for your shitty attempt at bad-mouthing God, but this isn't the first match I've done promos for. It's yours. Your strategies that only work on rookies, sadly, only work on rookies. You won't get away with the

things you said.

NOCMM bites the homeless chick's nipple. Which is sick because she doesn't have a home even though she just got out of the shower and is clean. It doesn't matter because she is homeless. NOCMM is so

for having sex with her even though she doesn't have any STDs or anything, but it's still gross because she doesn't live in a house. Wow, ew.

NOCMM: Let's start from the top. So apparently God just thinks he's God even though he created oceans, animals, plants, land, and people out of thin air. Bruce, I'm pretty sure only God can do that you dumb fuck. Hero Xtreme 7.9 just shot lightning bolts out of his hands at the Lethal Lotto PPV for fucks sake. If you're still denying he's God at this point you're either a conspiracy theorist or

. If you're a conspiracy theorist you're probably

anyway.

NOCMM eats a sandwich and some of the crumbs fall onto the hot homeless chick's cisgendered body. He licks them off and this is disgusting because the woman is homeless and he is fucking her because fucking a homeless person is so gross even if she's clean and healthy because not owning a home is like being a murderer and only a

would put themselves through that because only a

would be okay with getting down and dirty with a clean and healthy woman. Ew. Gross. I'm gonna barf.

NOCMM: God doesn't need a helmet, Brucey boy. God can't be knocked out either. Sometimes he'll play the part, but he likes to put on a show. You can't take him by surprise Bruce, but maybe he'll act like it. This isn't a wrestling match to God. This is a show. This is about making the old skool fans happy, and while you've done a shit job at that so far with your shitty promo and late start, God was planning to kill you. I'm glad you put a promo up Bruce, even though you're a

who plays Gone Home all day. I'm glad a bunch of little old skool fans didn't have to see your head explode.

NOCMM slaps the hot cisgendered woman's homeless titties. Those are worse than homeful titties for some reason. Maybe it's because she doesn't have a home, which is the worse thing ever apparently because a woman who was sexually harassed out of her job and doesn't have enough money to rent a home makes her a horrible person who only

would fuck. She's not a victim of the patriarchy! No, she's just homeless because only

would fuck her which is gross. It doesn't matter! Being homeless is so fucking gross. No matter what. Even if you're clean, good-looking, smart, and hard-working not owning a home is disgusting.

NOCMM: That's what would have happened Bruce. Your head would've exploded, so I'm glad you saved your own life. Who knows? Maybe God will let a

like you be rookie champion. He does work in mysterious ways after all. A non-believer can be a main eventer, but he'll still go to Hell with the rest of the

who think winning over 30 titles and wrestling for hundreds of years makes you not a veteran. I'm sure you'll make another promo Mr. Blingsteen, but you'll need to be sure to bring the twisted

logic you're known for. Why don't you stop being a pussy and make it front and center this time dumb fuck?

NOCMM pumps the cisgendered homeless lady full of cum which is disgusting because the woman he is having a lay with doesn't have a home. The narrator continues to be homeless-woman-phobic and misogynistic as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.

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