”Rape is a funny thing. You see, Rape is the act of forcing yourself onto a helpless person, sexually. I have done that, and I don’t believe I’ll stop. When I’ve been given the chance to rape someone, I will take it. See, I view Religion and my penis in the same light. I have one, so I will force it inside you one way or the other. Which is what’s kind of going to happen on Warfare this week. Because, you see, my opponent is a fucking moron. He done fucked up bad. He signed up for a match with me, after trying his hardest to attack me using people who are very obviously beneath me. And, what’s worse? He’s also begin attempting to make a mockery of my newfound religion. That’s the problem with some ignorant fuck sacks. You beat them, put their manager in the hospital, and literally eat their flesh, and how do they show you respect? They go and pay some foreign doctor to play wizard of Oz and give em hoods to go around and play at being tough. That’s what happened to the Mafia Men, or should I start calling them by the moniker they’ve apparently adopted? The Real Higher Power.
See, these dipshits have taken to attempting to mock the Asylum and our belief in a higher power by putting hoods and pretending to be a new higher power. As if they’re some actual religion, and not a group that popped up shortly after the Asylum began to pick up steam. Mostly after I joined. Funny thing is that I know why. You see, the Mafia Men tried their hardest to beat me, they tried to make me look bad, and they wanted to show the world that I was not the god they believed me to be. Because I continuously took them on by myself, and laid them to waste. What happened? They kept failing. Horribly, I might add. I put them down like the vermin they were, and then we met in the ring, and I put them down again. But not before Proxy, you guys remember Proxy, put their leader in the hospital. And why did Proxy do that? Because I asked him to. And because Proxy and I used to do a lot of business back in the day. Hell, I once paid Proxy to hit Peter and blame Sid Feder. That was hilarious.
We time ward to months later, the Mafia Men are all gone. I was responsible for driving their shit from the federation, you’re welcome by the way, I’m on top of the world. I’ve just joined up with the Asylum, just came in second for the King of the Ring, and I was on my way to earning myself a shot at whatever title I wanted. And then, this new Real Higher Power shows up. And I get attacked by three masked men. Oh, who could it be? Once the room stops spinning, it makes sense. It’s Gary, Randy, and Jackie of the Mafia Men, they decided now is a good time to come back and try and fuck with me. But hark, what is that sound? That’s the sound of the copycat train pulling into the station. The Mafia Men now want to pretend like they’ve found some sort of know all religion. But they fucked up, real bad. They didn’t bother trying to get better, they just tried to change their name and add some people. Nice, story, bruh, but you forgot that you’re still not good enough. And now, allegedly they’re trying to impersonate me.
So says their opponent for last week, except he told them they’re just a cheap knock off of me. How sad for them. I’ve made such an impression on them that they want to be me, but they’re still only a made in Chine rendition of the real life Hobbit. And they’re actually Kiwi. From the land of the Hobbit, and they can’t fucking be me that well. Jesus, what hope does anyone have of being me if they can’t be me. Oh, right. Most people are more skilled than they are. Most people can fucking tie their own shoes. These dipshits can’t. I remember when Swagmire accused Radio of not being able to figure out clothes, and he got all asshurt. Started grabbing his rectum and crying in pain because Morbid had just knocked him so hard he lost control of his bowels. Well, that’s kind of like the Mafia Men. They’re too fucking stupid to figure most shit out, which is why they keep saying ‘Caps to that’ and other gurgle. I know, though, I’m facing The Real Higher Power, and I haven’t really addressed them. But that’s the problem. I’m not sure if they’re the Mafia Men in hoods or not.
Sure, they have as much in ring skill as the Mafia men, they have as much mic skills as the Mafia Men, and they have as much chance at beating me as the Mafia Men do, but that does that put them at the same level of fucking uselessness as those ass pie babies? Or nah? Because, I gotta be honest, I’m fucking struggling here to come up with reasons why I should give those ass tards the benefit of the doubt. Really, it’s a hard choice, because on one hand, lol these aren’t shit. On the other hand…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh shit, I made a funny. These guys have as much a chance of beating me as Justin Sane does of not sucking my cock. Which leads me to this very important question. How in the hell are the stipulations for this match even close to balanced? Like, when I win one of the fags gets the joy of having my cock up his ass, and Azrael’s beautiful Cinnamon cum cannon rammed down their throat until he blasts them full of Space Babies. And then if I lose, which I won’t, they’re just going to beat their dicks on me and shit?
Not even beat off on me, so I get no spunk, but they get the joy of my semen. What the fuck kind of fairness is this? I’ve practically rewarding them for being such shit human beings, and they can’t even throw a few knuckle babies my way? Fuck that noise. Sarah’s gonna bathe me in cum for sure later. Unleash that beautiful pant log all over my face. Fuck, maybe she’ll spend the night fucking Demi in front of me, and blast me with a mixture of her cock juice, and Demi’s snatch water. That might actually be enough awesomeness to make my testicles just spontaneously explode. Which is more than the Real Ultimate Bacon Burger Fuck your Face Power can attempt to do. Because they are the opposite of what their name implies. The name implies they might be fucking good at something. Anything. But of course that is simply not the case. These cockfaced Dildo Mongers should probably just give up wrestling and go kidnap children to sell on the Eastern European Sex Trade or something. But then I get the feeling they’d fuck even that up. Like, I bet they’d fail at abducting a fat midget girl. Because they’re fucking . Bruh, they’re fucking RE TAR DED.”
Katie walks into her room after hearing some strange noises coming from there. She turns on the lights and sees Frodo and Sarah, having sex in her bed. She began to flip out and throw stuff at Frodo, and Sarah. Sarah was on top riding Frodo, he was stroking her cock while she rode him. They didn’t pay attention to the things being thrown at them until both of them had cum together. Then Sarah turned around and noticed Katie standing there tossing things at them. Katie was holding a Champagne Flute filled with Hi C.
”What’s up, Buttercup?”
”You’re in my bed. Having sex.”
”Yeah. We are. There were too many cans of Fancy Feast in our bed, so we thought we’d use yours. You might need a new pillow, girly.”
Katie reels back at that statement.
”You used my pillow in your sex? Really?”
”Yeah, we needed some added leverage. Sorry, girly.”
”Wait. You used my pillow as an ass prop for your ridiculous anal sex in my bed?”
”Yeah. I don’t have a vagina. I’m not as cool as you, I can’t take three dicks in three separate holes at the same time. We can only do oral or anal.”
Katie doubles over and begins to dry heave.
”Are you *retch* talking about my vagina, and my ability to have sex *retch* with my father’s cock still in you? *retch*”
”Yeah, totally normal.”
”No! No it’s not. In fact, the fact that Dad’s dick is still keeping your shit from falling out while we’re talking is kind of weird to begin with.”
”You think so?”
She felt something deep inside.
”Oh, looks like your dad is ready for round four. We’ll be a few more minutes, Katie. Go wait in the kitchen, we’ll be out in about 30 minutes.”
Sarah began to rise and lower, making sure to take every inch of Frod’s Hobbit Rod in her with each movement. Katie, still doubled over, began to vomit all over the carpet before leaving her room. In the hallway she ran into Crack.
”Hey, what’s up?”
”They’re fucking in my bed.”
”What?”
”Dad and Sarah, are having buttsex in my bed. I want payback.”
Cracks grabs her hand and begins to lead her towards Frodo’s bedroom.
”What are you doing?”
”Payback. You, me, your dad’s bed?”
”No. I’m not sleeping with you, Crack. Sorry. I’ma call up one of the guys from the club.”
Katie pulls out her phone, sends a text and waits. A few minutes later there’s a knock at the door, and Katie brings the man inside. She drags him to Frodo’s room. Once inside the room Katie closes the door and starts to undress. The man follow suit, and begins to put a condom on.
”Oh, you don’t need that. I’m on my period. This is gonna be period sex on my dad’s bed. No kissing.”
Katie and the unnamed man begin to have unsafe period sex on Frodo’s bed, using his pillow as a prop for their sex acts. Frodo walks in in the middle of it, laughs and walks out.
gurgle. I know, though, I’m facing The Real Higher Power, and I haven’t really addressed them. But that’s the problem. I’m not sure if they’re the Mafia Men in hoods or not.![[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/ZXX7HJw.png?1)
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