The scene unfolds to reveal a dark evening. The Prophet is slowly walking up to the entrance of the Church of The Higher Power. His black shoes raise and click as they climb another stair. The cement stairs look worn from the weather and the sheer age of the building. Hysteria finally gets to the top stair and slowly moves to the front door. He places a hand on the handle and sighs. Hysteria turns around and places his back on the door. He slides down to a sitting position. Hysteria removes his gloves revealing his pale skin underneath. He places the gloves on stone beside him. Removing his hat, Hysteria begins massaging his temples through the mask. The black ink on the mask shifts from a ragged formation to a shifting soothing image. Hysteria takes his hands down and rests his head back on his outstretched legs.

The first.

The first is the worst. The first loss on the record.

I… can’t take this. No more. The Higher Power did not put me in a place of power just to… to half-ass it! I am The Prophet. I lead the masses that follow HISSSS word. Finally… FINALLY… all of HISSS work is coming to fruition.

A title match.

Hysteria unbuttons his coat to reveal The Prophetic Belt of The Almighty Higher Power belt fastened around his waist.

ANOTHER title match.

Hysteria starts to laugh, but stops short.

What’s in a name? Surely you’ve wondered WHY. Why would someone in their… hehe… RIGHT mind… name themselves HYSTERIA? Is it because he’s…

A) great at jokes?
B) a joke?
C) out of his mind?

If you voted A or B, then you’re absolutely WRONG. If you voted C, then you’re ALSO WRONG. I named myself Hysteria because of my incessant laughter!

Hysteria chuckles darkly as he runs his fingertips along his knee.

You see… I use laughter. I use it to hide the misfortunes of my life. To hide all of the loss… My past? It’s dark. Dark as others have thought my family of the fallen are. Throughout my history is nothing but sadness. You already know the story of that lovely woman I dated. The way those muggers… the way they… treated her. It was… INHUMANE. Who the fuck does that?! WHO the FUCK does that to a beautiful woman? It twisted my demeanor. It soured me on life in general. It soured me on people in general. It soured me on… human life. What was the meaning of it if an innocent person such as her could be so vilely desecrated, but they just get away? It was unjust. Unfair. I destroyed the bitches. I destroyed them and I felt… empty. Devoid of emotions. I just wanted to laugh away everything in life. The more I laugh, the less anyone thinks something is wrong.

The more I laugh…

Hysteria sighs and takes the gloves up. He examines them through his white, ink-blotted mask.

Laughing. It hid it for a while, but then people at work started asking questions. They started showing compassion and questioning what I was doing in the night. I had to get away… to avoid suspicions. However, if I just quit outright, they would’ve known. They all would’ve known what was going on. So I did the only thing that seemed reasonable. I faked my own death.

Hysteria starts laughing wildly at this finally breaking out of his stupor.

I faked my OWN DEATH! Who does that? OHHHHH YEAHHHH! Theo fucking Pryce does that. Theo Pryce donned a mask to hide who he was and what he did. Much like this white mask I wearrrr. But do matter what I did once I donned this cowl, I felt empty. Until that one fateful day… a gift was bestowed upon me as I met the man in which I refer to as The Higher Power. He GAVE ME something worth fighting for. He SHOWED me the way to The Promise Land. Without him, I would just be a mindless murderer, but, with his guidance, I have purpose. I have reasoning. I have… a future. The Asylum has a future. My future is grooming this group to show the world that we accept everyone. Showing the world that being different… is encouraged. Admittedly, I’m not used to being in such a place of leadership. The Higher Power revealed himself to me and told me what he expected of me. You see Theo? I said HE. Meaning a man. Even Sebastian Duke, who hasn’t been here for over a month knows THAT. But The Higher Power knew what he wanted me to do. He wished to bestow the knowledge and plan upon me. He… placed me as the head of his new family. ME! A person who didn’t want to be with anyone. ME! I loathed the human race, but The Higher Power knew he could trust me to handle this unusual group.

Hysteria then places his fingers into the gloves slowly examining each glove thoroughly as he does so.

The Higher Power chose me. For all my life, I’ve been one amongst many and no one important. Now, NOW thanks to He Above All Others, I am The Prophet. The leader of The Asylum until his imminent ascension. The day of reckoning for this federation…

Hysteria pushes with his feet moving himself up the doorway. He takes his fedora and places it atop his dome. A laugh seems to rumble in his throat before oozing out as a low sinister growl.

Let’s look at this excellent team of jackasses that I’m saddled up against…

John Samuels. The Senator. The fat ass from Texas. Did you know that when John Samuels raises his arms, two donuts will fall out of his fat rolls? Why two you may say? Well he can never eat JUST ONE and he has to have them whenever someone hurts his feelings. Awww poor baby! Now you may be saying to yourself, ‘But I thought he wore a fat suit when he portrayed Peter Gilmour?’ Really? How the FUCK does that work Samuels? Seriously! How does this…



Need a fat suit to get to…



If anything you’d need to get a liposuction to get to your gelatinous ass into a pair of 40” Wranglers. Your dumbass self is ACTUALLY making me defend the fucking ! Get the fuck out of here! Sure you beat Maverick, but… who the fuck hasn’t beaten Maverick? You’ve managed to come back, coast along with two more superior teammates, and beat Maverick to earn a Universal Championship match. You’re unworthy… UNWORTHY! If that’s all it takes, then I deserve to be #1 Contender for the Universal Championship too! Now, from one fatty to another…

John Madison. I must say I’m impressed! I Looooooooooved the way you made Peter look like an absolute TOOL. A tool! You let him run his fat, blubbering mouth calling you out and declaring that you weren’t friends anymore because you were fighting for the belts. Then you fucked with his head claiming hurt that Peter had turned on you. Brilliant! I love the way you fucked with his head like that! Absolutely phenomenal. I’m jealous! I wish I could’ve fucked with his brain the way you did. I think he’s still crying from it. You may be quite the mastermind, but you’re messing with divine intervention, old man. You’re not fit to be in the ring with three thoroughbreds such as The Martyr, The Violator, and myself, The Prophet. You may have sat on the sidelines for the most part for the match with Team Fucktard, but this is an all-new ball game! Here, the predator is not a Trio of fools past their prime, but rather a team of hungry, young lions ready to pounce on the carcass of yet another overweight slob.

Oh Theo Pryce. The Leader of The Three Kings. So The King of The Kings. How does it feel John and John? How does it feel following a man so willing to leave his team behind in search of his own motives and desires? I may be a new leader, but what sort of leader abandons his team when the going gets tough? Mickey spoke highly of you, but you’re lucky you got him on your team. He turned out to be the MVP of Team Pryce at War Games… or should I say Team Manson? Now, now, now Mr. Pryce. We all know you wanted to cash in on Eli and wanted to retain your bearings for the big reveal. What a reveal indeed…

Now… since I missed The Feast of the Fowl due to a meeting of… interesting circumstances, it’s time for me to convene with my Family inside The Church of The Higher Power.

Hysteria opens the doors and takes a deep breath before walking down the long dark corridor. He walks through the lantern hung walkway. He gets to the front of the church and looks around. The large fire pits are still ablaze. The enormous cathedral is devoid of people. Hysteria turns around and seems a little peeved and shocked at how empty it is. He balls his fist and goes to the left door that leads to his small bedroom. He looks around the room. A chair, a bed, a book case, and a table with The Book of The Higher Power on it. Empty yet again.

He leaves the room and rushes across the cathedral and enters the door on the right. Woe and Richard Tessmocher are placed in the chairs staring at the screen. Hysteria passes by them and opens the door in the back of the room. He passes through it to reveal the large bedroom filled with over twenty beds. One has a picture of Katie, Frodo’s daughter beside it. One has a makeup kit beside it. One has a couple of bloody hooks beside it. Hysteria begins to freak out as no one is there once again. He begins backtracking. He enters the main sanctuary and begins looking around. He walks up to the podium and looks out. He shakes his head and that’s when he notices the note on the podium. He lifts it up.

He slams a fist down on the podium.

Ohhhhh… Mickey… you’ve got some explaining to do…