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Monolith · **10-19-2014, 09:33 AM**

Daniel Rapaport is happy. Really happy. Just got laid and won the lottery happy. Post first dump of the day happy. A broad Cheshire Cat grin spreads across his sinewy features. He tunelessly whistles an up-beat ditty and excitedly spins in his office chair with merry abandon. If it weren't for his grey hair and thrift store polyester suit circa 1970 you could easily mistake him for a sugar fed kid on Christmas morning. A knock on the door.

Enter!

An overweight bespectacled man shuffles into the room with all the grace of Mr. Stay Puft after too many beers. His ham-like thighs rub together to produce a sound like a steam locomotive gaining momentum as he waddles towards Rapaport's desk. His belt sighs wearily beneath his enormous gut. His shirt buttons strain to conceal the kind of bust that would make a newborn baby wail with ravenous hunger. The journey from door to desk is barely a few feet but still enough to make this poor bastard break out in a greasy sweat. Daniel screws up his face in disgust. 'Do I really have someone this grotesque working for me? I gotta review my hiring policies', he thinks to himself.

Boss, these papers have just arrived for you.

Papers? Not another goddamn law suit! That bitch told me she was eighteen...

Err... no, Boss. I think it's something to do with the XWF.

Daniel's eyes widen with delight. Like a geriatric lothario who just got his consignment of mail order viagra. He gleefully snatches the documents from his employee's hand.

Oh boy! This is what I've been waiting for! Young man, do you know what the contents of this file represents?

Err... I just make the coffee and deliver the mail round here, Sir. I don't really have a head for words and numbers and such.

'Seriously, why do I employ this chump?!'

This file contains the future of Rapaport Industries. You see, I hold in my hand the contracts for the XWF War Games Pay-Per-View. And these are not just mere pieces of paper. By signing these contracts I will be bringing together the three biggest corporate blue-chippers in XWF history; Rapaport Industries, Pryce Industries and The Department of Correctional Assault! Proxy, Rapaport, Pryce; that's the business equivalent of a goddamn super group right there!

So we're having a merger, huh? Err... does that mean my job is at risk? I don't wanna have to move back into my Mom's basement...

Do you honestly think that a lower form of life such as yourself even enters the conscience of titans like Pryce and Proxy? Besides, we'll be conducting most of our business in the wrestling ring, not in the board room.

Sir, I'd rather not picture you in spandex...

You're an idiot. I'll be sending Monolith in to do the dirty work. You know Monolith, right? Without his exploits you wouldn't get a pay cheque every month! Think about it; the ruthless business acumen of Pryce and Proxy combined with the devastating force of Monolith! Toss in a dash of Gein's unhinged cunning and you've got yourself a recipe for victory, son!

Err... I don't know about that, Boss. I'm a big Morbid Angel fan! Do you know he's undefeated in the XWF?!

Is that so, huh? Well, he's never encountered somebody like Monolith before! Yeah, I bet you're a HUGE Morbid Angel fan. You probably like to picture his big hairy ass crack when you're fucking your pillow at night, right?! Now, allow me to illustrate something...

He reaches a sweaty palm across the desk and presses the intercom button.

Monolith, would you kindly step in here for a moment?

The door flies open with terrifying force as the gargantuan figure of The Alpine Monster steps in to the room. He is so tall that he has to stoop at the knee just to pass beneath the door frame. Daniel motions for him to stand beside the tubby employee; this guy must weigh close to 350 pounds but next to the vast frame of Monolith he looks like a goddamn Lilliputian. Daniel nods approvingly and turns his attention back to his chunky worker.

You see, let's imagine that you represent Morbid Angel and his posse of

. I mean, just look at you! You're disgustingly fat, grotesquely ugly, unfailingly stupid and your body odour could choke a goddamn skunk! You're a barely humanoid waste of skin and oxygen. The other sperm must have been pretty fucking slow if a slovenly sack of shit like you won the race. So yeah, I guess you pretty much epitomise Team Victory Forever or whatever moronic name those losers choose to call themselves. Now, let's take a look at Monolith. He's big, strong, fearsome, unstoppable; he's everything that a true soldier should be. And he's ready to go to war, son! Do you honestly think that Morbid and his cronies stand a chance against my client and our new allies?

Look, I'm not paid to stand here whilst you insult me, Mr. Rapaport...

A knowing smirk creeps across Daniel's face.

My dear boy, you're absolutely right! So from now on I'm not gonna pay you at all! That's right, chump; YOU'RE FIRED! Monolith, kindly escort my EX employee through the door...

Monolith looks at him quizzically.

Whatever you say, Boss!

Monolith strikes. He grabs the bewildered fatty by the scruff of the neck and lifts him off the ground as though he were light as a feather. He leans back, roars with animalistic fury and hurls his prey towards the door of the office. The door is ripped from it's hinges as though it were made of crepe paper as the blubbery missile crashes to the floor in a shower of splintered wood. Daniel gives Monolith an accusatory stare.

What? You said you wanted him THROUGH the door, right?!

Err... that's not quite what I had in mind. Now, go find somebody to clear this mess up; we have get you ready for War Games.

'Games'?! There's nothing playful about what me, Theo and the boys have got planned for Team Victory Forever. Hell, one look at me and they'll practically be JUMPING from the roof top anyway. War is upon us, Daniel... and it's time for Monolith to CRUSH THEM ALL!!!

Monolith laughs sadistically as Daniel winces in disgust at the sight of the crumpled pile of flesh and bone in his doorway. Will Monolith's bold prediction prove to be true? Will the scheming Rapaport be able to coexist with the equally corrupt Theo Pryce? Stay tuned to find out...

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