And there was a god!

Could it be true? Could the strongest demons from hell make Morbid Angel the new god? The leader of the Christian faith?…more importantly, does this mean that Morbid Angel is a Christian?

I don’t think so…If Morbid Angel is god then that means all Christians worship him! He is the creator of all!…and what kind of god would he be? Would he be just? Would he be helpful? Would he be forgiving? Or will he be like the old god?…Cold, distant, ruthless, with the unconditional love of a psychopath? And this is the old god that is those things…how can Morbid Angel be any worse?…perhaps here isn’t the place to start, lets start at the beginning of it all…after 7 days, Morbid Angel rested and………..fuck that! The world reborn!


As Morbid tried being a very hands on god, being everywhere and shit. You know how being a god can be taxing and how people always want shit…and “needing” forgiveness…considering the belief system of the world would that mean that Morbid Angel is the most visible god since…since…before the fucking bible!…or David Koresh…choose which. Many claims to being god and no one believes in these fucking gods because they weren’t what was expected.

Morbid walks among the people in the streets, the power of the gods at his fingertips and he simply walks the streets pointing at old people while screaming “SOILENT GREEN!”…it’s Morbid Angel. Some things hold no purpose…just like the old god, some shit just happens and you have to deal with it or burn in hell for eternity! Don’t play with your eternity because that shit is like…forever.





Morbid Angel-”I am using my god like powers! I feel that Azrael decided to Dr Who me to death with his spectacular bullshit. If we are going to claim what is real or fake then perhaps we should start with YOU! And the outer space shit! I have yet to invent outer space because it is fucking ! Space ships and all that…very Star wars…which by the way, I helped George Lucas write those films…not proud of it but what the fuck are you going to do?

Azrael trying to be this mysterious Alien haunting time and space! Well let me tell you Ass-rael! You are as mysterious to me as a clogged toilet is to a fucking plumber! You are nothing more than someone who wants to be better than me! NO ONE IS BETTER THAN FUCKING MORBIDGOD! Remember that next time you try and slander me! I AM UNSLANDERABLE! I AM ETERNITY! I AM FOREVER! By this time next year people would forget the name Azrael! Just like they forgot Supernova and Satellite…remember those names? Forgotten! The ones who remembered those names are quickly fading themselves…Jessica Diaz is all but a ghost! Sid Feder, Unknown Soldier, John Black, Scorpio, John Samuels. These people will soon be gone and then what? Next year Azrael will be gone and forgotten…But Morbid Angel will be around for a long time! I have defeated the toughest bastards in the XWF and I keep coming for more victory! As a good god I always suffer my people! They love and praise me and in return…I watch them suffer and die…for my amusement!

I also feel that Azrael claims that he is able to come back to life and I am a fraud…isn’t this just like the wars throughout time over who really died for your sins and for those who believe other things? Isn’t that the worst block in history? You trying to block my godliness with your alieness…that’s like saying that Dodge doesn’t even make trucks because Ford did it first. And who the fuck asked your opinion anyway? Who made you the boss of who is who? You are nothing except a loser that I defeated before and you come back to talk shit NOW THAT I AM GOD! Feel my wrath you little shit! I WILL PROVE TO YOU I AM FUCKING GOD! Perhaps I should start with killing you?…no…too easy for a fucking pussy like you! I should task you with building a fucking Ark!

OK, I just had a thought…I know why you doubt me, Azrael…its because I did a spoof where Satan worshipped me and it just turned out to be a joke…I can see that…but I can guarantee that this is 100% real! SUPER REAL! If it were not…would I be able to fly like Superman?”





Morbid Angel jumps into the air and takes off like an airplane into the distance then lands on a near by building.




Morbid Angel-”How’s that shit!? Was that fake?…”





Morbid Angel jumps from the building and walks over to the camera.





Morbid Angel-”I am so glad I feel everyone questions…I just don’t think people are taking me seriously enough so what I’m going to do…I’m going to turn back time to the beginning…just so you can change your mind when you see me and didn’t know that I was RESURECTED FROM THE DEAD! And before this question goes unanswered…I didn’t just wake up for no reason. I was transferred by the Satanic High Priest to the position of god…he is the only man with the power and the knowledge to do something like this…so naturally I had him killed and I ate his heart so no one else can come back and take my spot and shit…then I fired Jesus Christ because he was a pussy…always spreading lies about god, saying he is a good guy and that he only wants what’s best for us all…bullshit! NO LYING IN FUCKING HEAVEN! Which I will also rename to Morbidonia…and Hell will be…Heyman!…what the fuck am I telling you for? FUCK YOU! SEE YOU IN HEYMAN!”









Morbid Angel then created the earth in 6 days…and on the seventh day he rested. So remember to waste your day of rest doing shit you don’t want to do…like going to church and reading the same book over and over. Because Morbid Angel wants you to remember that your life sucks and you get to hear a man who is rich tell you the same stories over and over again….but not for many years…we haven’t gotten that far yet!

Deciding that there needs to be people…because MorbidGod is obviously a people! And this is the most reasonable solution to the problem of people…fuck your science! Fuck that shit in the ass! Two motherfucking white bitches in Eden!…now lets think of what to call them while I give that much of a shit…Beth and Charles! Perfect! Couldn’t be better!

Beth and Charles appear! The garden of Eden was stock full of delicious food like the Twinkie trees and popcorn bark of the corn plant…we mustn’t forget the illusive Fruit Snack flavored animals! It also never rained or snowed there so they can sleep outside…no bugs either! Fuck that! Flies are for Heyman!

Either way, we have Beth and Charles…the future of the world just sitting around…can’t talk because they have the mental capacity of the dumbest in the nut house…Charles walks around with his erection poking all the animals and breeding with them while he eats them…because I don’t give any real instructions to the game…here is your shit, this feels good…eat these and figure it out! The Rules of god!

So one day Charles was walking around…still not sure where to stick this raging erection and then you have Beth scraping sea shells across her vagina after she takes a piss…want to know what she does when she is on the rag? She jams a cornhusk up her cooter to stop the bleeding!! I could help them…but why? I am god and a way to show my eternal love to you all I will watch you hurt yourself until you figure shit out. If I really gave a shit I would step in and give some of that divine knowledge…

I am an awesome god…I will allow everything to go on here in my garden! Just don’t fucking fuck with my Steroid river! LEAVE MY FUCKING STEROIDS ALONE! It is my forbidden fruit! Scratch that shit into a rock, remember it, fucking stab your nipples while thinking about it…just remember that is my only rule here…people shouldn’t fuck that up…

As every creature wants to look better…Beth wanted to try the Steroid river to receive vaginal muscles that could crush walnuts! So…naturally from my given advice…my only rule…these…HUMANS! DID NOT LISTEN! Now I shall get REALLY PISSED OFF!

Beth drank from the river of Steroids and got tight vaginal muscles that only 30 years kegels could achieve! For a price…

As she sipped from the thick river of testosterone and sweet muscle juices, a face pushes through the thick syrup that was the river! It was a Kangaroo with the head of a John Madison!





John Madison-”I am the Devil!”


Beth-”D…Deee……D….”


John Madison-”Oh…I forgot that fat sack of Angel didn’t give you guys brains yet…just like a god to start shit off with a pack of .”


Beth-”Ugh…Hmm UH”






The John Madison headed Kangaroo looks oddly at Beth as she drank from the water. The Kangaroo body kicks Beth in the face, knocking her away from the river.





John Madison-”GOD DAMN IT! I was suppose to entice you to fucking drink! How will the world remember me if I didn’t do my fucking job? I am suppose to trick you into shit and now…what do I have? NOTHING! I can hear it now! The almighty Fat Angel will question me now! Like I’m late!…I can fix this! I’ll have to kill you! HA! He will have to start over! Fuck him!”




The Madison-roo hops from the water to kill Beth who was so she started to eat the grass…which was flavored like jelly beans…co creator of Eden was Willy Wonka…fun fact for the future. As Madison got closer the ground started to shake and Morbid God appeared…naked! Because gods don’t fucking need clothes! Let the holy cock swing!

And oh was it massive! Morbid stood before the grass eating and Madison.






Morbid Angel-”WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!?!”


John Madison-”She cheated!”


Morbid Angel-”At what? Is there a fucking game going on?”


John Madison-”Listen Fats! I have a fucking job to do and that is to over throw the porker god in heaven! You know who that porker is? YOU!”


Morbid Angel-”I AM GOD!”


John Madison-”A fat god!”





Morbid Angel starts to flex his muscles





Morbid Angel-”LOOK AT MY FUCKING PECTORALS! Fucking GOD LIKE!”





Morbid starts to flex again.




Morbid Angel-”HERCULES AIN’T GOT NOTHING ON ME!!!!”





While Morbid was distracted, Madison-roo crushes the head of Beth as she grazed like cattle!





John Madison-”You are the biggest ever! And fuck your ]


[i][b][color=#FF0000]Morbid Angel-”WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!? I made them!”


John Madison-”You made them fucking ! They didn’t mate! They fucked the animals and they smeared shit on themselves! You need to make them smarter…it’s not that fucking hard!”


Morbid Angel-”Oh…and here I thought making them more like you was all I really ever needed to do…you motherfucker!”


John Madison-”Oh yeah? You’re still a fat fuck!”





With that John hops back into the steroid river





Morbid Angel-”WHAT ABOUT CHARLES?”


John Madison-”kill him…start over…I don’t give a fuck as long as shit goes down right next time!”





John Madison disappears beneath the thick muscle juice!





Morbid Angel-”Cocksucker! I wouldn’t have to redo shit if you did your job fucking RIGHT! You had one job and you fucked it up!”



















OK, so the first Eden didn’t work out…Morbid God destroyed the earth and restarted it with two…new and more intelligent people. They were now called Neil and Brenda. They talked…they walked and Madison did his fucking job! Brenda drank from the Steroid river and Morbid came down all pissed off and kicked them out of Eden and into the real world. For this Morbidgod decided to suffer the women with painful cramps and childbirth that rips their assholes open…then making it hard to laugh without pissing themselves…also thousands of years of being held down by men and forced to be baby factories and maids…and cooks or suffer beatings…because as a just god that he is, he feels that not only Brenda needed to be punished but every woman! Slowly he stopped the punishments but it was YYYEEEEAAARRRRSSSSS later when he let them vote…or work.

We’re getting too far ahead here….Morbidgod had one man and woman to start the world and had 7 children…5 sons and 2 daughters…that was it! So when the sons started fucking the daughters to make more children…hell even Neil started to fuck the children because…the world needs people! With three women in existence means they were put to good use by the men…who were related!

Originally when Morbid created man he didn’t give them a nose because…why? But through years of close inbreeding a nose grew…and the fifth toe!

So here everything is…a big family orgy…Morbidgod stands on a mountain next to the Devil John Madison. John was eating an apple as the sex acts continued.





John Madison-”Yep….”


Morbid Angel-”I don’t want to hear a word!”


John Madison-”I’m not saying you fucked up…but this is fucked up!”


Morbid Angel-”SHUT THE FUCK UP!”


John Madison-”I mean…you could have given them neighbors or something…a woman for each man at least…that way there would be no sister fucking.”


Morbid Angel-”John…YOU’RE PLAYING WITH FIRE!”


John Madison-”I even think one of the sons fucked their mother!…I pass no judgment but it might have been the oldest…he fathered one of the girls…which he now fucks!”


Morbid Angel-”OK! So I fucked up! I WAS RUSHING! I had to fucking make shit…I AM OMNIPOTENT!”






He points at a tree near 5 feet from them





Morbid Angel-”See that shit? I fucking made that!”






John Madison tosses his apple to the ground.






John Madison-”You made a tree and a incestuous orgy…yet you couldn’t fucking diet! You silly fat bastard!


Morbid Angel-”FUCK YOU!”


John Madison-”Sorry…we’re not related enough in your book! HA!”


Morbid Angel-”GO TO HEYMAN!”


John Madison-"I'll go to Heyman! I'll go there and fucking like it! I WILL PUT MY BALLS ON EVERYTHING!"


Morbid Angel-"DON'T PUT YOUR BALLS ON EVERYTHING IN HEYMAN!...!


John Madison-"No...you!"






The scene pulls out to the two standing on the mountain looking at the family fucking like something you’d see on Frodo Smackins’ computer. The moans piercing the darkening sky…another chapter comes to an end…PHRAISE MORBIDGOD!