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Hunter Payne · (08-12-2014)

Fact! In my time here I've:

Had a long term relationship with my stalker.
Created a successful podcast.
Teamed with The Rock and a Child Molester (allegedly, never convicted) and almost won the trio tag titles.
My stalker, aka Joy then cheated on me.
Then weeks later, the guy she cheated on me with got guillotined (I had nothing to do with it)
I formed a group of Straight Edge Disciples to attempt to clean this drug fueled company.
It proved to be futile because a life of purity was 'too hard' for half the members.
I was involved in what I dubbed "The UFO Screwjob" where I lost my UFO title but it was bullshit.
I was invited to join The Brotherhood, only to get kicked out like a week later.
I was set on fire by a naked Egyptian Queen.
I played Zorro in the remake, turning me into a movie star.
Briefly dated a Canadian Wrestler here, she loved tea is all that I remember about her.
I was set on fire again, this time from a botch pyro entrance
I donned a mask because of it.
I removed the mask and became hotter.
Then I retired.

In retrospect, my career has never been fun.
Actually it kind of sucked.
Just one disappointment after another.
I'm glad I'm retired.
Fuck this place!

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