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Scully · **08-12-2014, 11:36 AM**

I was on my X box one, enjoying a bit of Fifa and some me time after a big workout in the gym. I was really getting into the game, I was winning 2 nil with my team Aston Villa until my doorbell rang. I paused the game, put my controller down and proceeded to walk down my hallway to answer the door. I pull down the latch and open the door to find no one there. I stick my head out, look to the left and then look to right, there was no fucker in sight.
Scully "Hello... Who's there?? ... Bloody kids".
I then notice a brown envelope on the floor, I bend down to pick it up and look around again before closing the door. I look at the envelope and at first with a quick glimpse I thought it said "50 shades of grey", you know that mummy porn book. I look at it properly, it actually says "50 shades of red". Written in what appears to be blood. I opened it and then pull out the folded paper. I unfold to reveal a picture of a scaffold match. On it are two stick men, one falling to their demise. It looks like a 5 year old drew it. I knew who it was straight away... It was obviously Darren "Not So" Dangerous playing silly games. I then open my front door again....
Scully "Very cute, Butterbean.... But your man should be a lot fatter"

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