(06-23-2014, 05:42 PM)Sid Feder Said: I feel a set of congratulations are in order--

Congratulations, Tonya Santos -- your ability to defeat talentless pieces of shit is uncanny. Wow; Theo Pryce and Steve Davids. Who's yer first title defense going to be against? Bobby Zi? I mean he is a former champion here just like Theo Pryce was a former king, and that comparison is so appropriate.

Congratulations, Theo Pryce -- fer the first time in your thieving career, ya look perty in pink! !

Back to you, Tonya; this is the part where you use my comment about how great you are at defeating talentless pieces of shit and you leverage it into a sarcastic ass comment about how you can do the same to me. Oh, and don't ferget to put that title on the line when ya do get me in the ring. Maybe the 'limits' put on challengers will save you from me, just like they saved Theo from you.

Oh wait..

Ah, Tonya Santos, eh, Sid? Does that give me a pass to go all Tonya Harding on you and get someone with a name as absurd as Jeff Gillooly to club you in the legs with a nightstick, or they're incredibly underused, and thus likely perky, sperm rods? Reeve Alexandra Gordon and Jack MuddaFukkin Hoff immediately come to mind, given their utter lack of talent, as well as the likelihood that their attack on you will lead to good ol' fashioned, three-way butt-thumping between you, thus keeping you busy in your otherwise uneventful time back here. I'm only looking out for you, after all, Sid. I'm a nice guy, Feder. An incredibly nice, caring guy who just wants the best for you and other cranky fucks with a shockingly shorter life to live than me.

And, good idea! Bobby Zi and Tony Santos! That sounds like a fucking marquee event that will fill up fucking Wembley, let alone whatever other dump we'd be thrown in in this fucking place. Thanks for the suggestion!

As for you and me? Oh, we'll be in the ring very god damn soon. Unfortunately, Bobby will likely be our next TV champion, given how of much of an incompetent, drunken fucktard I am. You'll need to go through that one-man gauntlet if you want the strap. You and I can have a lively, in-ring debate of the towns with the most in the US while jerking each other off with our right hands and having a thumb war with our lefts... why?

Because thumb wars are fucking fun, that's why. Thumb wars whilst in the middle of mutual masturbation are that much better.

Don't question me. I'm fucking Tonya Santos! And it ain't polite to question a lady. Now watch me bat my eyes and blow you a kiss.