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Clean Lucena · (04-05-2014)

- an angry Cheat is walking quickly at the street, like having a temper tantum, meanwhile a tired Biographer record the moment with his mobile phone -

The Biographer: So, explain it again, I'm recording now. Who plagiarize you? And by the way, why I'm even continue talking to you? You called me

]

Cheat Lucena: [i]Fuck, Biographer, it's just a show, I had to do a top ten things and I wasn't full of ideas in that moment. And who plagiarize me? Everyone! Didn't you see it? The fucking Enigma guy visited Jimmy Fallon. I go to the David Letterman show and the stupid asshole with the helmet (YES, helmet. At least it looks like one) visit fucking Jimmy Fallon. I didn't tell you but there was a spanish TV Show that has a segment called "Fuck you Jimmy Fallon". He know exactly how to touch my balls, copying my other day promotion on Letterman and visiting thatt fucker. And weeks ago the fucking Miss Radio did a fucking Anti-Cheat Lucena Campaign. I did like nothing happens because I was in a good mood that day, but I can't no longer avoid it. This is what we're going to do. We're going to the city police station and make clear thorugh an formal impeachment that they don't steal my ideas anymore. If I'm that good and you can't reach my level of greatness don't copy me, do whatever shit you want to do and go away. Those fuckers have no idea about what they just did. Maybe I was in a good mood when I received the new that Mr. Radio copy me. But two guys? in a period of one month? copying me? Just no. And think something, we will denounce Mandii and Swagmire Swaggings too. I just want to fuck that ones. And I literally have no idea about what crimes those guys could have done

The Biographer:I think that what you really want to do is eliminate the guys from the Chamber even before the match.

Cheat Lucena: No, I got pretty angry when I saw Jimmy Fallon thing with the fucking helmut guy, so my instant idea was to denounce him and Miss "I'm the best of the multiverse but earth sucks". By the way, if he's the best guy of the mutiverse and he hates earth, what the fuck is he doing here. Go to the universe you want and leave the good ones here. I don't like earth either but I'm not the guy that says that other universe exist and I can fly through them. Anyway, what I was originally saying. I though I would denounce them by plagiarism, but then I start to think and... hey playa, it's you, Cheat. Cheat is what does best... why I even have to wait to the match? let's cheat them before. Let's get those fuckers out of the match even before it start and then let's just display some of my magic. Maybe I got no reasons to denounce them but, what the fuck, we'll think on something. Don't forget the main thing is the other two, the plagiarism, they really hurt my feelings with that but... hey! Weren't the black guy racist? Ok, you have it. We say he's nazi.

The Biographer:You want to denounce a black gay of being nazi. Weren't the nazis talls and blondes? Cheat, you're again losing it. I though after the Kim Jong and Gadafi shit you more or less get into the real world but this is totally stupid. And the other two can do whatever, just focus on yourself and the match. And what about Mandii? What are you going to throw at her? sexual abuse?

Cheat Lucena: Yeah! Cool Bio! I like when you do useful things! Maybe sexual abuse is not that credible but... gender violence will work, it's pretty actual and all the days there is another man murdered on TV by their wifes so maybe. Hit me in the face.

- he stops for a second and point at his eye meanwhile Biographer stop too -

The Biographer:Sexual abuse it's not enough credible... Gender violence would work...

Cheat Lucena: Yep, if I go and say that my couple hits me they're force to go, arrest her and sent her three days to the dungeon. It's thursday and the match it's tomorrow so he could go fuck herself with a stick.

The Biographer:Really? You want me to hit you?

Cheat Lucena: I told you're a fucking

on TV, Bio. Your mum is now in your house asking herself why she didn't abort you.

- Bio looks offended, but maybe it's not enough for him to hit Cheat. He looks at his fist, looks like he would punch Ernesto, but he move back the arm... and suddenly... PUNCH! -

Cheat Lucena: OUCH! Fucker, you were training for this moment, didn't you.

- they start walking again -

The Biographer:You asked me to do it. If you want a beautiful black eye how do you want me to punch you... as we were on a Steven Seagal film?

Cheat Lucena: Don't fuck with Seagal. He's great. Ouch, I think this will work pretty good. By the way, did you enjoy the kick on Shaffer guts?

The Biographer:That's the only thing that keep me up talking to you

Cheat Lucena: And the money, don't forget it. Here we go, Baltimore's police station, let's see. Follow me on this.

- they enter at the place and goes to the "receptions" office. There is a serious police man there and Cheat start to talks to him pretty overreacting -

Cheat Lucena: Please! Please! My wife just punch me on the face! This is what TV call "Gender Violence". Help me!

- the guy cringle -

Police man: HAHAHAHAHA! ...Really?

Cheat Lucena: What do you think that made this eye turn black? This midget?

Police man: If I were you I'll kill her... Cheat and Bio looks each other pretty puzzled, like never expecting a comment like that from a police guy Well... anyway... if that's true, just fill this document and the denounce will be on the road

Cheat Lucena: Ok, thanks agent.

- Cheat preceeds to write the document. After a long time, he give back the paper to the agent and he start a bit... he looks puzzled for something -

Cheat Lucena: Any problem?

Police man: It's pretty strange... I mean, the woman name... Mandii Rider? Which kind of name is that? double I? Is this even her real name?

Cheat Lucena: Eeeeer... no, it's her wrestling name.

- facepalm by The Biographer -

Police man: We actually need her REAL name. Don't her wrestling name. Here you have some tip-ex, you can delete it and write her real one.

Cheat Lucena: Hehehehe.... sorry, this is gonna be fun but... eeeeh... I don't remember her real name. But she work as wrestler in a pretty famous wrestling federation, she's pretty recogni...

Police man: You don't remember your wife's real name?

Cheat Lucena: It's a long time we almost don't talk to each other, we were more or less separated but we continued to sex sometimes and it's pretty exciting to call her by her wrestling name meanwhile I'm dropping my juice of life on her boobs... so I forget her real one... ok? is that strange?

The Biographer:Eeeeeg...

Police man: You can't denounce somebody if you don't bring a name.

Cheat Lucena: So you can't do something?

- The agent denies with the head. Cheat kick the floor, getting nervous. He continues talking -

Cheat Lucena: Well, I have another impeachment to do. There is two guys that are continuing breaking copryrights rules against my person. I do something that is more or less interesting and they do it. Because they're a ideas desert. I expect you could do something with that.

Police man: Yeah, sure. Any proofs?

Cheat Lucena: Yeah sure, they practically copy the name of my work, so I suppose there is a link we can follow.

Police man: Okey, there are more denouncement papers just right there

- Cheat preceeds to write again with Bio at his back, waiting impatienly. He end and the agent takes the note. At the moment he's reading, he break out laughing like there is no sun -

Cheat Lucena: What happen?

Police man: Friend, at name you wrote "Mr. Radio and Enigma". You can guess if Mandi Rider can't work how much Radio and Enigma could do. Here at "denouncment" it puts "They're two

copycats" and at "Observations" you wrote "they're two stupids cocksuckers". Do you think a judge that reads this would accept it?

Cheat Lucena: I'm just trying to advert you about their dangers!

Police man: Please, there is more people waiting, if you have anything serious to do here, do it, but let the other ones do it and go.

Cheat Lucena: Ok, last thing... a black nazi that...

- The agent starts to laugh pretty loudly. Cheat looks like feeling offended by him when The Biographer looks ashamed. The agent point the exit when Cheat doesn't look like leaving the place. Then, he start talking -

Cheat Lucena: I'm a wrestler, a great guy, ok? I don't know if you know me, I'm not exactly what you people can call a "hero" but the fact is I'm good enough to win the United States strap of my federation. But the fuck, you aren't heroes either. You torture and murder people in all the country only because they're in a persecution, people that get bribes like a beheaded chiken blood... people not exactly with clean ways to do the things... you're just like me, and you're denying a light help? Ok, ok I'm not exactly a totally good guy but, at the end, I'm a person, a proud spanish US citizen that pays religiously his taxes, and you're telling me that, two guys that totally profaned my intelectual property, my work, something that bring me to the position of dominance through my title, a woman that hit me and by the laws she should be inmediatly on jail and a black nazi that hates people that is like him, someone pretty dangerous that obviosly have a mental desviation can't be denounce due to minor details? Look, it's a coincidence, I never though about it, but I'm the champion that would put his title on the line against this four dangerous individuals. You're commiting a pretty big mistake if you don't do something to protect a humble citizen as me. So please, do something!

Police man: No!

- Cheat looks bleak. He take a look at the pen -

Cheat Lucena: Can I at least bring the pen to my home?

Police man: No!

- pretty dramatic moment, Cheat take the pen, get close to the agent face, and looking him deep into his eyes, he starts to talk, almost whispering -

Cheat Lucena: I'll do it anyway, you know why? Because I'm..

Cheat Lucena, The Worst In The World
and I don't call it a win if it's Clean!

- the agent leave Cheat go because he looks to confuse to react to that. Cheat and Bio leaves the place and the image turns black -

end of the promo =)

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