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Kendall Savannah Sawyer · (03-19-2014)

(03-19-2014, 10:28 AM)Griffin MacAlister Said:
(03-19-2014, 08:55 AM)Kendall Sawyer Said: Brilliant first impression, Mister MacAlister. Was I not being facetious enough? Are you such a simpleton that unless I spell out my sardonicism, you won't understand it and will take it completely at face value?

I guess so. Between that long pause you made to think to either think the comment over, or to think of some clever little quip to fire back at me, I can deduce that you're...

Prepare yourself.

Not as sagacious as you silently claim to be. Fret not! Maybe one day, it'll click! I doubt that much, but anything can happen.

As for the blockhead Lucena, you're quite flattering. Wait, I need to make sure I'm sarcastic enough for MacAlister! Hey Macalister! That was a joke!

Wait, I think I might've been too late in announcing that.

Either way, Lucena is an idiot worthy of four more words: overruled.

Oh shit. She got me. I'm silently claiming to be clever. Damn girl! You're a mind reader and shit now. You're motherfuckin' Jean Grey up in this bitch! Yet no....no, not at all or else you wouldn't have started off sayin' I don't get your sarcasm. Yeah, I get it. The angsty white girl too bored with society to care still needs to poke fun at the living joke. Haha. Good job. I owe you a proverbial cookie cause you can verbally jab Radio, a guy who can be outwitted by Peter Gilmour. Don't know who Gilmour is?? Don't worry...you'll find out soon enough and I'm sure you'll be right there with your dry wit and tongue and cheek candor that would have Jenji Kohan so inspired she just might phone you up and ask if you'd like a job as one of her next characters in another show about a woman stuck in an awkward bind just tryin' to get by. Y'know what...when that happens. Take the job. Cause you don't belong here cupcake. You're gonna get eaten alive if you think your half cocked assumptions lined with irony and cynicism will get you by. You'll fall as soon as you take you're first step and you'll fall hard. Cause this ain't an episode of New Girl and you aren't Zooey Deschanel. You start runnin' your mouth like that and say something shitty and sideways to the wrong person and they won't rebute you with words. You're gonna get knocked the fuck out by that idiot too stupid to debate, who won't care if you can memorize twelve different words for ironic and sarcastic. Your passive aggressive humor that might give a Scott Pilgrim fan a chuckle...will put your ass in the hospital and then you'll really get a taste of how dull and boring life can be. Starin' at four walls in a hospital where the only person who can hear your cleverness is you. So you wanna prompt someone to prepare for somethin'. Prepare for that. Cause it will happen. Till then though...sit your ass the fuck down and shut up. Try to come up to me and talk like you got a sense of who I am. I oughta be that guy to knock your ass outta commission but I won't. Nah. I let your failure here come from getting taken out by someone even further below your inflated sense of astuteness. That'll add a nice sting to your send off to the hospital. Beaten by an idiot. Hey but maybe if you're lucky....Regina Spektor or Rilo Kiley will hear about your flop here in the XWF and love that concept so much, you might get song written about it in your honor. So at least there could be that small jaded twist of a silver lining to your short lived career as a wrestler for the XWF.

Really, you do get it? Oh, consider me a little bit confused, seeing as though you brought up that one comment and played it completely straight. Right, this is the part where you hop up and shout loud enough to block out the cries and screams of a child whose legs were blown off during the most recent suicide bombing or drone strike over in the Middle East, that you were pointing out the flaws in my own sarcastic diatribe. Right, that's most definitely what you were trying to accomplish, no matter how poorly that came across. My bad.

Maybe you should stick to responding at length; short, snide remarks seem to bring up more confusion than any other alternative.

Angsty white girl? Poking fun at the living joke? I'm sorry, I didn't know the person who seemingly just took issue with me supposedly stepping over a boundary in determining the type of person he is through what he said has the ability to do the exact same thing to me. The hypocrisy is overwhelming. I'm shaking right now; someone hold me.

You're right, I have no idea who Peter Gilmour is. However, again you try to ascertain who I am by, how did you put it? Being a "mind reader"?

But here's where his argument takes a nose dive off a cliff. Another assumption, naturally. An assumption that I have no wrestling ability to speak of. What on earth gave you that idea? The fact that I'm new, or a woman, or both? Xenophobic, misogynistic, a combination?

Okay, I've held my tongue on this matter long enough: is there any rhyme or reason to these pop culture references? What, are you so afraid that you're point won't come across based on your ability to convey it? You have to throw out a nod to something that people have more familiarity with so they can say "Oh, now I get it! I wouldn't have if he didn't compare it to something I have knowledge of because I'm a backwards piece of human cattle!"

Bravo, Griffin. You almost had us all fooled. You're the idiot who's too stupid to debate in your little example.

Wait, that's likely the reason why he didn't throw out a nice little reference there! I cracked the code!

Hit me, in that case. Come on, you bumbling, blockheaded bastard, hit me as hard as you can.

No, you wanna let me get beat by someone who I feel is even further below me than you? Right, you're brilliant at cowering away while claiming you're trying to aid in producing a greater sense of embarrassment for me to face. A real class act there.

Talking about how I shouldn't open my mouth about who he is, while spelling out everything he thinks he knows about me in the same breath. Such brilliance. Such sheer, unrelenting superiority right there. As a matter of fact, how about we all give him a big round of applause?

No?

Well, okay then.

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