Our scene opens as we see Steve Sayors driving down the road in his Wienermobile, yes Steve Sayors drives an Oscar Meyer Wienermobile. FUCK YOU STOP QUESTIONING EVERYTHING! He's Steve Sayors and he does as he damn well pleases! Steve Sayors is just driving down the road singing "Royals" at the top of his lungs as he bobs his head, you know, the usual Steve Sayors shit. However suddenly a voice interrupts his jam session.
Voice: In 100ft turn right and your destination is on the right.
Steve gets a confused look on his face as he looks out of his car window.
Sayors: Stupid GPS I don't see a Wen.....
Steve Sayors imagines birds chirping and angels flying around playing harps over the beautiful sight in front of him as a beam of light shines down from heaven lighting up this Wendy's of the gods for all to see. Drool begins to roll down Sayors chin and he damn near flips his wiener due to the epic awesomeness that he is witnessing but thanks to some quick maneuvering he's able to shoot across four lanes of traffic and come to a screeching halt in the Wendy's parking lot all without getting hit or damaging his wiener. Sayors then drives around the parking lot looking for a place to park his wiener but as expected in a place as epically awesome as this Wendy's is, none are open. He keeps driving around until finally he sees a car backing out of a parking space between two SUVs. It's a tight fit but Sayors is just barely able to slide his wiener in there. He almost can't open his door and get out but he manages, mostly because he's a skinny little girly man but hey, that finally worked in his favor for once. Sayors now approaches the Wendy's still in awe of the beautiful building in front of him. Finally he pulls open the door and steps inside. Once inside Sayors' jaw separates from his head and starts spinning around on the floor like a possessed ballerina. Everything is new and modern looking including the dining area which puts even Starbucks to shame. There are flat screen televisions hanging up everywhere and fire places built in to the walls, let me repeat that, GOD DAMN FIREPLACES BUILT INTO THE WALLS! After finally getting over the shock of it all Steve Sayors remembers why he came to this Wendy's Valhalla in the first place, Scorpio. Sayors finds the Brah Brawler sitting in one of the comfy looking chairs in the dining area right beside one of the fire places wearing a black and red satin robe with black slippers. On the table in front of the Wendy's Warrior are some fries, a vanilla frosty, and a Wendy's Triple Stack cut into squares because that's how people such as him eat their Triple Stacks in a high class establishment such as this you uncivilized mongrels! Anyway, Scorpio doesn't seem too concerned with eating at the moment as he gazes up at the flat screen television above him puffing on his expensive pipe stuffed with fries while shaking his head. On the television we can see that he's watching Peter Gilmour's latest abortion er... Promo which involved P-Gilly making a trip to Victoria's Secret. Sayors waits a few moments until Gilmour's promo comes to a close and then he walks over and sits in the chair beside Scorpio.
Sayors: How are you doing Scorpio?
Scorpio turns to Sayors with a big smile on his face and holds his arms out towards the sky.
Scorpio: I've reached the promised land brah, I'm great!
Sayors: Yeah, what is this place, this isn't a normal Wendy's.
Scorpio: This isn't a normal Wendy's yet brah, this isn't a normal Wendy's yet. This is actually a prototype they rolled out for test purposes but soon these babies should be popping up everywhere. Do you know what they found out after they built this place Steve? Crime dropped 90%, death rates dropped 30%, graduation rates skyrocketed, as did birth rates. Hell brah check your pants right now, your herpes probably cleared right up as soon as you stepped through those doors.
Sayors: I don't have herpes, that was just a nasty internet rumor!
A bead of sweat runs down Sayors' forehead.
Sayors: Anyway, you're still in a good mood even after just watching Gilmour's promo?
Scorpio: Brah there's nothing in the world that a feeble minded poster boy for roid rage like Peter Gilmour could say to piss me off right now. Aside from the fact that I have now discovered my own personal Shangri-La, I'm not worried about him, not at all. You see brah, I've already beaten Gilmour, I know how to do it, and I tried to explain that to him but he was too stupid to take the hint. I mean for Christ sake Steve after me sitting there and telling that dumbass point blank that controlling his anger is the only way he'll ever have a real chance to be successful here in the XWF what does he do? He goes to Victoria Secret with Rose to try to pick out something to wear during our match, he tried to hold it together, and he melted down just like he always does. What more proof does anybody need? This fucktard is never going to change because if he isn't going to take advice form somebody like me who has made it to the top of this federation before then he's fucking hopeless, a lost cause, a never will be, and it's his own damn fault.
Sayors: Speaking of that why did you try to help Gilmour? It seems to me like you two have nothing but mutual hatred for each other.
Scorpio: Simple brah, I wanted to make things more challenging because it was painfully obvious that this jerk off didn't stand a chance against me as soon as he opened his mouth for the first time this week bitching and crying before finally turning into his usual overly angry self. It really is sad though because physically he has the tools to succeed, he always has even when he was a fat fuck. It's the mental aspect of his game that has always been lacking and no matter what he says in his promos he can't con people into thinking otherwise. Even if he was able to pull that off once steps between those ropes it's time to produce and he can't. Like I said he can feast on bottom feeders now and then but that's it, without being able to control his fucking emotions those are the only people he's ever going to be able to beat.
Sayors: Okay let's switch gears a little here because you recently joined forces with The Company, why is that.
Scorpio: Well Steve as well all know I was once sent into the Pokemon world because of one of my son's crazy experiments and while I was there I worked on the Jenny Police force. Essentially The Company is like the XWF's very own Jenny Police force, without the skirts, THANK GOD! The Company want's to dick whip any group of crazy motherfuckers who get out of line and I'm done with that. Plus Peter Gilmour does Eli's bidding and that's enough for me to want to side with anybody who is against that group of dickheads.
Sayors: You did something else interesting recently besides joining The Company. You pulled yourself from the nuclear winter series as well, did those two things have anything to do with each other?
Scorpio: Of course those things have absolutely nothing to do with each other because contrary to Peter Gilmour's dumbass opinion I'm nobody's lackey. If I had my sights set on the crown then I would be gunning for the motherfucker wearing it whether he was in my stable or not. I pinned Scorpius for the Heavymetal Weight Title once and everybody considers that belt worthless so does anybody really think I wouldn't go after Theo who has the top singles prize in the company if that's what I really wanted? The fact is that just isn't what I want, I've said it once and I'll say it again, I want tag team gold.
Sayors:How is your search for a partner going, have you been able to find anybody yet?
Scorpio: Nope, still looking brah. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there willing to team with me but I have to make sure that shit works. I don't want to be in a situation where two good individuals are going after the tag titles, we have to be a team or we'll basically end up like the Peter Gilmour of the tag division. Able to beat shitty teams but fall apart against the good ones.
Sayors: Well Scorpio I think that basically covers all the questions I had, thanks for taking the time to conduct an interview with me.
Scorpio: No problem brah, now grab yourself something to eat.
The camera fades to black as Sayors gets in line at the front register.
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