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~~Sweet Cheapshots~~ · **03-16-2013, 11:04 AM**

{Episode 003}"The one in which our hero finds himself in Detroit Rock City."

"Hello there, old friend. I hope the day finds you doing well. It's good to see you again. What's that? Ah, no. Back's been a little sore. I might have gotten a tad over zealous during a game of pickup basketball. I'll be fine. Get you the usual? Two creams, one sugar, right? Coming right up. Now, sit, relax, take a load off. When we last left our hero things were looking pretty bleak in the XWF and as always... we'll join... the story... already in... progress..."

Sweet Cheapshots Fun Fact #85:
Sweet Cheapshots never wears a watch because time is always on his side.

The location: Deep inside the bowels of Wallace Witasick's office Time: 4:37pm CST

Somewhere in the office a clock can be heard ticking away. Tick... tick... tick...

Wallace Witasick stares across his desk, hands folded in a steeple, a look of dour concern across his face.

Directly across from him, sitting in a plush red chair, is Sweet Cheapshots. He's dressed in jeans, chucks, a blazer and a baby blue v-neck tee. A pair of Raybans sit atop his head.

Wallace sighs, clears his throat and --

Wallace Witasick: "You're not over."

Sweets sits up, blinks twice.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Excuse me?"

Wallace Witasick: "I said you're not over. Nobody is buying in. I don't think you've moved one item of merch since I signed you. It's bad. Real bad."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Let's just hold the phone for a second, Wally. It's not my fault you're sending me out there for squash matches against Count Chocula and some boring old 'bloke' from the UK. Mind you I should have won that match. Where's Crooks been since? He selling merch for you or you got him cleaning toliets?"

Wallace Witasick: "That's not important. What's important is that I signed you to a lucrative contract with the agreement that you'd produce. So far you're not living up to your end of the bargain."

Sweet Cheapshots: "You've never given me a chance. You know I can put on the best match on the card."

Wallace Witasick: "Do I?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Who you got me locking up with this week?"

Wallace looks down at the documents neatly placed on his desk and gently moves a few aside. He runs a careful finger down the length of the page in front of him.

Wallace Witasick: "Sin Gambit."

Sweets tilts his head back and laughs

Sweet Cheapshots: "Who the HELL is that?"

Wallace clears his throat, adjusts his tie.

Wallace Witasick: "He's a very respectable --"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Oh, save it Wally. You're sending me out to wrassle with some jobber. I can really see what you think of me."

Wallace Witasick: "I think I have asked you in the past not to call me Wally. You address me as you would any superior."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't get your pan---"

At that moment Tyrone steps away from the wall and stands uncomfortably close to Cheapshots.

Wallace Witasick: "Consider Wednesday night a fresh start for you. A chance to turn over a new leaf. If you can show me something I'll consider letting you onto the pay-per-view."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Consider? I should have a spot signed sealed and delivered. I don't know what game you're running here WALLACE, but I smell rat from the word go."

Wallace Witasick: "I'm simply a business man and I expect my talent to understand that I will place them where I deem is best for business."

Sweets gives the "yap-yap-yap" hand gesture as he rolls his eyes. Wallace stands.

Wallace Witasick: "Any other grievances you wish to air, Mr. Cheapshots?"

PAUSE.

What choice do you think Sweets made?
A) "Have a good one, Mr. Witasick! Thanks for the talk!"
B) "Why does Tyrone look like Mr. T?"
C) "Has your family owned slaves in the past?"
D) "Is that a penlight or is Tyrone happy to see me?"
E) Sweets gives Wallace a piece of his mind.
F) All of the above

pollcode.com free polls

If you guessed F all of the above you'd be correct. Thanks for playing.

PLAY.

We cut back to the action as we see the door to Wallace's office open and Sweet Cheapshots comes flying out and sprawls onto the floor.

Tyrone stands in the doorway, big, menacing grin on his face.

On the couch nearby sits Natalie Foxx, sitting with her legs crossed, reading a magazine. She doesn't look up.

Neither does Wallace's secretary who continues to type on her computer.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Can I... Can I at least get my sunglasses back?"

Tyrone leaves the doorway. Small beat. He returns with sunglasses in hand and drops them on the ground. A crunch is heard as he breaks them under his boot.

Sweets sighs, and climbs back to his feet as the office door is closed. He dusts himself off.

Natalie Foxx: "Shall I assume that went well?"

Sweets tugs on his blazer to straighten it.

Sweet Cheapshots: "I'll be in the lobby."

Sweet Cheapshots Fun Fact #117:
Sweet Cheapshots won the World Series of Poker using Uno cards.
[Disclaimer - This has NOT actually been approved by the World Poker and Gambling Association.]

The location: Street corner Taco Stand - Detroit Time: 5:32pm CST

We find Natalie, Sweet Cheapshots, and Billy Williams (XWF On-Boarding Specialist) enjoying some tacos out on the street corner.

Sweets has a agitated look on his face, however, in between bites of his taco Billy is there to wipe his mouth with a dab of a napkin.

Natalie Foxx: "Is it really necessary for him to do that?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Yes, XWF assigned him to me to make sure all my needs are met."

Natalie Foxx: "Could you at least buy him a taco or something?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "There you go again, Nat, thinking he's people."

Natalie Foxx: "Are you hungry, Billy? I can get you something to eat."

Billy Williams: "No, I'm fine, Ms. Foxx. Mr. Cheapshots gave me the rest of his junior mints last night."

Natalie cocks an eyebrow at Sweets who just shrugs.

Sweet Cheapshots: "We don't have time to wait for him to eat anyway. Just standing out here makes me nervous. I feel like I need a bullet proof vest."

Natalie Foxx: "I think you're overreacting a little. It's broad daylight. Nothing is going to happen."

Sweet Cheapshots: "That's easy for you to say, you're black."

Natalie Foxx: "What the HELL does that have to do with anything?!"

Sweet Cheapshots: "You know there's not a lot of black on black crime."

Natalie Foxx: "What are you even babbling about?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Help me out here, Billy."

Billy Williams: "I have no idea what you're talking about, Mr. Cheapshots."

Sweet Cheapshots: "You're useless. Go take a lap."

Billy abruptly stops what he's doing and takes off down the street.

Natalie Foxx: "That poor kid."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Who?"

Natalie gives Sweets a stern look.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Hey, you think Dikembe likes tacos. I've seen him eating cat food before, same consistency."

Natalie Foxx: "I don't know, why don't you go ask him?"

Sweets looks around in both directions trying to find his spiritual advisor Dikembe.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Where'd the hell did he go?"

Natalie Foxx: "I'm not in charge of watching him."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Oh no..."

Natalie Foxx: "What?"

Natalie follows Sweets gaze down the street where they both spot Dikembe mixing it up with a trio of tough looking gangbangers.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Aw man, I think he's buying crack rock off those guys. C'mon, we gotta break this up. This could be worse than when I left him behind at Costco."

Sweets and Natalie cross the street where they come upon Dikembe laughing with the gangbangers.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Dikembe, what the hell are you doing?"

Gangbanger #1: "Hey, Richie Rich. Why don't you and this FINE looking dime piece head back to wherever it is you came from and let my man here finish his business."

Sweet Cheapshots: "This guy happens to be a friend of mine and I'm not about to let him do anything illegal."

Gangbanger #2: "I think my boy Ronnie told you to step the f*** away. He was asking nicely. I won't."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Okay. Look, this isn't "Boyz N Da Hood" I think we're all capable of having a conversation here. Let me just get my friend and we'll be on our way."

Gangbanger #3: "You can be on your way after I put a slug in you there pretty boy."

Suddenly all three gangbangers pull out handguns and point them at Sweets' crew.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Well, that escalated quickly."

To be continued...

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode EP003: "The one in which our hero finds himself in Detroit Rock City" (RP#1)
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