The scene opens as we see Nova sitting on the couch in Scorpio's living room anxiously waiting for Scorpio to return from the other room so the two can discuss what was so important that Nova had to stop by right away. As Nova sits there for what seems like an eternity he can't help but wonder what Scorpio needs to talk to him about. Perhaps as somebody essentially new to the XWF after being gone over a year, he has some questions about some of the things happening in the XWF? The Congregation, The Company, Shane , The Administrator, so much has happened over the past few months much less the past year. On the other hand maybe what Scorpio wants to discuss has less to do with the past and more to do with the future, after all he has said that he's looking for a tag team partner as awesome as he is. Could it be that he came to the conclusion that Nova is the only one that fits the bill? After all Nova was just a couple months shy of holding the Television Title for a year while one handed a good portion of the time, no big deal. As more and more time passes more and more thoughts enter Nova's mind. Like the fact that what Scorpio wants to talk about may have nothing to do with what has happened in the past, the future, or how well Nova handles the competition inside the ring with only one hand. Perhaps what Scorpio wants to discuss has to do with how well Nova handles the competition outside of the ring one handed, while on his back, bent over the kitchen table, reverse cowgirl, and... you get the picture. That's when Nova remembers a very interesting fact about his new stable mate, hmm, stable, that term may be appropriate for somebody credited with having a "Dick of Doom". Nova isn't a size queen by any means, after all it's not the size it's what you do with it but having a partner packing more meat than a cow that was force fed Peter Gilmour's fat is never a bad thing. As visions of meat popcicles dance through his head Nova doesn't even notice Scorpio emerge from the other room and almost has a heart attack when the Wendy's Warrior says....


Scorpio: So what do you think brah?


Startled, Nova turns to Scorpio and his eyes immediately widen as his jaw drops. Standing in front of him is Scorpio wearing a black bra and a black thong that makes it look like he's smuggling a lifetime supply of triple stacks down there. Where's the beef? We've found it! Nova shakes off the initial shock of the situation and is able to get a few words out.


Nova: So this is why you wanted me to come here?


Scorpio nods.


Nova: Okay, so where do you want to do this?


Scorpio: Do what?


Nova: You know, this.


Scorpio: This what?







Scorpio stands there for a moment before he realizes what's going on.



Scorpio: Oh, OH! This isn't about THAT brah, I like women.


Nova: Yeah, so do I and what do you mean this isn't about that? You invite me over here and then you come out of nowhere wearing that and shoving your equipment in my face. Nice by the way, but how could it not be about that? What else could it be about?


Scorpio: I have a bra and panties match coming up and I wanted to look my best so I wanted to get your opinion.


Nova: Because of the vast amount of knowledge that I can have at my disposal?


Scorpio: Uh... Sure let's roll with that one.



Nova: Wait, was it really because you thought I was gay?


Scorpio: Yeah, pretty much.



Nova: I'm not gay though.


Scorpio: I know but you'll do.



Nova: Way to make me feel important there Scorp.


Scorpio: Hey at least you were the first guy that came to mind when I thought of who to ask if I looked good in a bra and panties. That has to count for something right?



Nova: I suppose it does and we are both on the same team now so I'll help as much as I can.


Scorpio: Good, so what do you think? Not like I actually expect Gilmour to be able to strip me down to my bra and panties but if I suddenly have a stroke or something I want to look good as I lay there twitching.



Nova looks Scorpio up and down for a moment rubbing his chin.



Nova: Well the bra and panties are fine but there's so much hair from the waist down and by so much hair I mean it looks like Hank Lane's mustache jumped off his face, multiplied, and built a colony down there.


Scorpio: Aight then brah, wax me.



Nova: What?


Scorpio: You heard me, wax me, make me all smooth like little baby.



Nova: Do you think I just carry wax around with me or something?


Scorpio looks at Nova and raises one of his eyebrows.


Nova: Really, I don't but I'll go get some. You owe me for this you know? I mean big time, the next time I need a test subject or back up for whatever reason or some help to remove a bullet...


Scorpio raises his eyebrow higher.


Nova: No, no...like a bullet from a gun.


Scorpio's eyebrow and hairline are almost existing as one at this point.


Nova: No, like ammo. Oh geez, I never realized how difficult this explanation might be. The point is, my body can heal itself, but it just heals around objects made of metal, like bullets. One time I was shot in the head and lost a huge chunk of memory because of it, if it had been removed that wouldn't have occurred and thankfully after it was removed my memory returned. So with that in mind, you never know when in my sporadic adventures I might get shot and require assistance...and after taking bullets as much as I have, one just grows to expect this will happen eventually. Anyway, for whatever purposes I might need your assistance in the future, you'll be my go to guy. Basic terms...from now on, you're my bitch.


Scorpio: I got your back brah er... I got you covered er... You can count on me? Yeah that one is safe, you can count on me!


Nova nods and vanishes into then air. A few moments pass and he reappears standing there holding a few boxes of Veet wax strips which he throws onto the living room table.


Scorpio: So can you just do that whenever you want?



Nova: Yes, for the most part.


Scorpio: So say that we're at a show and I wanted to pop into a woman's locker room?



Nova: Not going to happen.


Scorpio: Come on you're cock blocking me brah.



Nova: No I'm saving both of us from being attacked by some woman out for blood all because you wanted to get a sneak peak at her tits.


Scorpio: To be fair there are a few pairs of tits around here that would be well worth the bloodshed.



Nova: No, now are you ready to do this or not.


Scorpio:My body is ready.



Nova: You just have to make everything weird don't you?


Scorpio: Says the guy that has regrown an arm 32 times.



Nova: Yeah, yeah, just lay on the couch already.


Scorpio lays on the couch face down as Nova starts breaking open the boxes of wax strips and lays them across the living room table. After opening all the boxes Nova grabs one of the strips and rubs it between his hands to warm it up. He then peels the strip he was rubbing open into two strips placing one on the back of Scorpio's right leg and one on the back of Scorpio's left leg.


Nova: Ready?


Scorpio: Go for it brah.


Nova rips the wax strip off of Scorpio's right leg and as he holds it up it looks like he's holding a patch that was cut out of a bear skin rug. Once Nova gets over the shock of just how much hair is actually on the strip he gets a confused look on his face because he hears nothing but silence.


Nova: Are you okay?


Scorpio: Yeah brah, why wouldn't I be?


Nova: Oh I don't know because this is the part when people usually scream and curse Tom Cruise's name?


Scorpio: I've been through things brah, horrible things! I've faced Peter Gilmour before and had to watch a weeks worth of his promos and I'm about to have to do it again. Trust me, getting chunks of hair ripped off of my legs is nothing compared to that.


Nova: Well when you put it that way, I guess you've got a point.


With a victim that doesn't flinch at massive amounts of hair being torn off of him, Nova kicks things into high gear slapping on and ripping off wax strips at what has to be a world record pace. They do have a world record for that right? I mean they have a fucking record for doing backflips off a god damn exercise ball so you'd think they'd have a "most wax strips ripped off" record. Check into that shit. Anyway, before you know it there are hair covered wax strips laying everywhere and the backs of Scorpio's legs are completely hairless. Nova gets him to roll over and the front of his legs make it look like he's wearing Wookie shin guards. Again Nova starts applying wax strips and tearing hair out with blazing speed until the front of Scorpio's legs are also completely bare.


Scorpio: Cool, thanks for the help brah


Nova: Oh we're not finished here Scorpio, not yet.


Scorpio: Um.... I don't have any hair left.


Nova looks at Scorpio and you can practically see a highlight reel of the greatest atrocities to ever happen on planet Earth playing out in his eyes as he speaks.


Nova: Not that's visible.


Nova now stares at Scorpio's crotch. Scorpio sits up, looks down at his crotch then back at Nova, down to his crotch, then back at Nova, down to his crotch and then back at Nova once more.


Scorpio: OH HELL NO!



Nova: You're the one that wanted me to do this and I'm not half assing it after I've already gotten this far!


Scorpio: But....But.....But....BUT BRAH!


Nova: But nothing! Panties off, face down, and get ready to bite the pillow!


Scorpio:..........


Scorpio looks as if he's going to say something but doesn't even bother. He turns away from Nova, strips out of his panties, and lays face down on the couch as a huge black censorship bar covers his bottom half. Also a message pops up at the bottom of the screen.

Uncensored versions of this promo will be on sale for $50, AND YOU GET A FREE SCORPIO T-SHIRT! Information can be found on Scorpio's official blog.


Nova now starts putting wax strips across Scorpio's ass but doesn't rip any of them off just yet.


Nova: This is probably going to hurt a million times worse than before, are you ready?


Scorpio: Bring it on.


Nova extends his hand towards the strip going right down the middle of Scorpio's glorious cheeks. Almost as glorious as the guaranteed fresh buns on a Wendy's Triple Stack. Nova's finger tips are just coming into contact with the wax strip when his cell phone suddenly starts going off. He picks up the phone and looks at the caller ID, it reads "Theo Pryce". Nova quickly puts it on speaker phone and places it on the living room table, directly between two hair patches, ewww.



Nova: How's it going Theo?


Theo: Couldn't be better, how are things on your end?


Nova: Everything is great here.


Nova rips off the strip going down the center of Scorpio's ass.


Scorpio: MOTHERFUCKER! MY ASS IS ON FIRE BRAH!


Theo: What the hell is going on over there?



Nova: Oh I'm just waxing Scorpio's ass.


Long pause.


Theo: Well then, didn't realize he was into that sort of thing but I won't hold you gentlemen up. You two enjoy yourselves.


*Click*


Nova stares blankly for a moment as what he just said finally sinks in.


Scorpio: Good job brah, now Theo thinks we're getting it on and I'm the bottom! Like that would happen.



Nova: Oh and why is that? Why can't I be the dominant one?

Scorpio: Ever seen the Youtube video of the Chihuahua humping the Pittbull? THAT'S WHY!



Nova: It's not the size of the dog in the sex, it's the size of the sex in the dog!


Scorpio buries his face in the couch shaking his head.



Nova: Besides none of that would have happened if you would have just kept quiet.


Scorpio: I WASN'T READY!



Nova: I'm pretty sure your exact words were "bring it on".


Scorpio: That doesn't count! I was ready when I said that but then like 30 minutes passed! You're supposed to ask if the person is ready again when something like that happens damn it, not just go rouge and start ripping somebody's ass hair out like a crazy person!


Nova rips off the other strips on Scorpio's ass at the same time.


Scorpio: YOU EVIL SON OF A BITCH!



Nova: Quit complaining and roll over, we're almost finished.


Scorpio rolls over grumbling under his breath and you can just barely make out what he says.


Scorpio: I hope you get your arm caught in an elevator door.


Nova: What was that?


Scorpio: Nothing.


A very large censorship bar covers Scorpio's bottom half, very very large, very very very large. He has a giant tallywhacker is what we're getting at here. Nova looks away and starts rubbing some wax strips between his hands again but he's totally meat gazing, not slick, such obvious, much busted, wow. Nova now reaches down towards Scorpio's crotch and just as he's about to apply one of the wax strips the front door swings open and in walks both of Scorpio's sons.


Scorpio's Sons: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Both of the boys faint and fall to the floor in a heap. Nova looks worried but Scorpio seems completely relaxed.


Nova: Shit, what should we do?


Scorpio: Calm down brah they'll be fine, after years of expensive therapy but they'll be fine. Who knows though, if you hurry maybe we can finish this, get everything cleaned up, and get you out of here before they wake up. I can tell them it was a dream or something. Shut the front door, I'll be in the other room preparing to have my pubes ripped out.... if you can even prepare for that.


Nova: Alright.... If you say so.....


Fade to black.

Awesomeness Achieved


1x XWF (World) Champion


1x XWF Tag Champion (with Frodo)


1x XWF X-treme Champion


16x XWF Heavymetal Weight Champion (UFO / Ark)


Two Month Long UFO/ARK/HMW Title Reigns


Longest (personal) Reign 11/12/14 - 12/18/14


Reigning Bra And Panties King


Donkey punched your mother!


Banged Rose Smith Repeatedly


Seriously Brah I Did


Said it was the best she ever had


And she could feel it in her spine


Scorpin Master!


AAOOOOOOOOWW!!!


I'm pinning the Witch Doctor So Hard Right Now


Would you pin me?


I'd pin me.





#DickToFaces