"Wait a second, who the hell are you?"

She turns to face Swagmire, before ultimately deciding it best to just make her way over to the desk. With a deep breath, she pulls open both drawers at once, being greeted by a very angry cobra and the quill and ink. Only problem; the cobra was in the top drawer and the quill was in the bottom. In the heat of the moment, it never occurred to her to simply close the top drawer so instead she reaches down and pulls the quill and pen out of the bottom drawer. Everything was going so well until Mr. Cobra thought it a good idea to bite her on the forearm.

"Ah, fuck!" she screamed, dropping the bottle of ink to the floor where it shattered into a million or so pieces. She reaches into her back pocket, where the handle of a machete was hidden behind her blouse. Without a second thought, she swings the bladed weapon at the cobra, slicing its head from its body.

"Could someone send a telegram to emergency services?"