The screen fades in to Liz Hathaway, in her room staring at the photos of Ric Flair, on her wall. She smiles and turns to face the camera.


WOO!!!!

The catch phrase of a 64 year old man. When I think of a 64 year old man I think “retired, married, walker, golf.” Shit like that.

But when you hear the name Ric Flair, you think of the 16 time World Champion, and XWF Superstar.

Yes XWF Superstar.

Why he is in XWF is beyond me. I’d think that at the age of 64 the last thing you will be doing is wrestling. This is a young persons game, but you came back to be “The Man.” Why Ric? Do you feel like you have something to prove? That you can still be “The Man.” Or is it something to pay the bills because of your recent divorce?

Whatever the case may be, you’re here. And when I saw the post about Shane signing you to XWF, I was all like “Oh, Ric Flair, wonder who’s manager he’ll be.”

Then I realized you were a wrestler.

But the worst thing of all is that you have to face me at Madness, in a match that has a 40 year age difference.

Nice going Paul.

So it’s official, on Madness, I am facing an old, rusty, gray, necrophiliac. I'm facing a 64 year old semi-retired rapist with abandonment issues, and a man that has some sex obsession with me.

He also thinks that I have some "unhealthy obsession with his eyes and mouth."

Oh Ric

I cut the eyes out of your picture so you can see no evil. So you won't see what I do to your proverbial "ladies." It'll be quick and satisfying for everyone except you.

Liz's phone vibrates, signalizing a text message. She checks it and smiles.

This is one of them right now! Oh and she's a slutty broad too. She'd be of good use. Maybe after we're done I'll repeatedly say WOO!

Speaking of Wooing, that's the exact reason I cut your mouth out.

So you can shut the devil up!

You walk around here with your 3 dollar robe from Wal-Mart and your rented limousine screaming "WOO" as you walk down the damn hall. I'm gonna shove my foot down your esophagus so you can give your mouth a break.

Wait, I already gave your mouth a break when I fucked your bitch. See!

Liz pulls out a picture.



That was you a few hours after I took her. Don't act like you don't remember taking that picture either.

Ya know Ric, I admire you.

No seriously I do.

For you to call me out, knowing damn well I am going to fuck you with a barbed wire strap-on takes a lot of balls.

For that Ric, I condemn you.

But I'm still gonna bust that ass on Madness.

Til then...

Liz out

Liz leans toward the camera, and it shuts off.

XWF Record
8-11-1
W-L-D